Welcome to my first Naruto fan fiction. I don't know why I wrote this or what it's about.

I know it's kind of weird and most of the characters are out of character but hey.

Nenji sat in the cold sterile office, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Finally the doctor walked solemnly into the room with his eyes down.

"Hyuuga-sama I'm sorry to say this but…you need glasses."

Nenji cried out in disbelief as the doctor patted his back consolingly.

Meanwhile…

Naruto Uzumaki walked down the streets of the Konoha village doing nothing in particular. Suddenly a girl was walking besides him.

She looked like she had 2 breasts and a vagina.

"Hey, Naruto," she said. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, Hey Val. Nothing much. Isn't that Gaara over there?"

The both looked into the distance and surely enough they both saw that mean looking red-head.

"Hey Gaara my man! How's it going?" Val yelled.

Gaara ignored her and made the sand send him somewhere far away.

"Well that wasn't very nice," Val said as Naruto shook his head in agreement.

There was a rustling in the trees and then Sai was down on the ground with the both of them.

He had on that annoying fake smile, and was smiling at Naruto and Val.

"What's wrong with you boy?! Open your eyes when you smile!!" Val yelled.

Then Naruto walked away to get some Ichiruka Ramen.

"No, actually I prefer smiling with my eyes closed. That way, I don't have to look at you." Sai said cheerily.

Then Val took a rock and beat Sai on the head. He was unconscious after the 4th strike and there was blood on the rock.

Val quickly picked Sai up and surreptitiously brought him to her house. She opened that door goes underneath the stairs and stuffed Sai there.

Then she got cleaned up.

When she was about to leave the house she got a letter from Shizune that was summoning her to the Hokage's castle.

When she got their, Tsunada-sama told her that was to fill in for Sai on a mission since he couldn't be found.

Val was to accompany Naruto and Sakura and Kakashi on a hunt to retrieve Sasuke.

When they left the village they flew to the hidden sound village and went to A Roach-man's palace.

A Roach-man sent some snakes after them but they ran and went to Sasuke's room.

"Sasuke-kun, please come back with us!" Sakura pleaded.

"I'm not going to let you escape this time!" Naruto yelled.

"Hmm Sakura-san and Naruto-kun you've come back for me. I told you once and I told you twice I have to kill a certain man cause he's the man who came from my certain mother who does the stuff and hangs out with the certain fish shark man. Oh, and Kakashi-sensei too? Why if it isn't my old teacher who taught me the chidori which I'm probably going to use to kill the certain man and the fish man."

While he talked about this, Val took the liberty of using her special jutsu on him

"Special teleportation revenge jutsu," she muttered under her breath.

Instantly, a rock appeared over Sasuke's head and knocked him out.

"Quick! Tie Him up!" Kakashi-sensei said, but they couldn't understand him because of that stupid mask.

Instead they got some rope and tied Sasuke up. The carried him far away of A roach-man's castle.

They took of that stupid rope that was supposed to serve as a belt and gave him normal clothes and then went back to Konoha.

When they reported back to Tsunade with Sasuke tied up in the infirmary with 10 guards watching him, Tsunade ordered Kakashi to take off his mask.

He took it off and he turned out to be Michael Jackson.

Then they had a concert in Konoha and they all did Michael Jackson's Thriller Dance and had fun.

Kakashi sensei came out from hole in the ground because he fell into one of those grates that are usually in front of stores. And then he did the Thriller Dance with everyone else.

When Val went home, she found Sai still in the door and not moving.

"Sai? Saiiiiii?" she whispered in his ear.

And then she cut the skin off of a kiwi and threatened to put it on his lips if he dint wake up.

He didn't stir and she put it on his lips and tongue and then he woke up with an itchy mouth.

And then he went outside and climbed up his tree so he could sleep because Sai is a hobo who lives on the streets.

The End.

Tell me if you want a second chapter please, and I'll be glad to oblige.