Summary: After drinking too much coffee, Elizabeth can't sleep, and John offers to help tire her out. No smut! Get your minds out of the gutter, people. Kid-friendly Shweir.

A/N: I had so much fun writing this, it's embarrassing. A computer of my standing, writing fluff fics and actually enjoying it. Shameful, I know.

----

Conquering Insomnia

by Alternate Ego

----

"Kind of late, isn't it?"

Elizabeth looked up and smiled at the figure in her doorway. "John, come in."

The invitation was rather unnecessary, as the person in question had already made himself at home on the corner of her desk. "Whacha doin'?" he asked, looking at the screen of her laptop.

She turned it away from him, narrowing her eyes playfully. "Very important work. No peeking."

"Yeah, right." Her 2IC smirked. "I saw. Important work, sure."

Elizabeth blushed sheepishly. "Yes, well," she started, glancing down at her half-finished Solitaire game, "taking breaks can be important, too."

"Whatever you say," John replied, still grinning. "You know, I could've sworn that Carson made you promise start going to bed earlier. What time is it now, twelve?"

She grimaced. "I would have gone to bed," she said defensively, "but I've been having a bit of trouble falling asleep."

John picked up one of the pots on her desk, turning it over in his hands. "Since when?"

"Since I drank ten cups of coffee in one sitting," she said, her voice wry.

John's eyebrows shot up. "Didn't know you were such a liar, Liz. I could've sworn Carson made you promise to stop drinking so much caffeine, too. At this rate, I might have to tell on you."

"You wouldn't dare," she challenged.

He smiled, lazily. "Want to bet?"

Elizabeth fretted her lower lip. "No," she finally admitted. "Traitor."

John immediately adopted a hurt puppy-dog expression. "Elizabeth, you wound me," he said. "I'm only concerned for your well-being and health."

She assumed a doubtful expression. "Yeah, sure, mister."

"Really!" John said. "I'll even prove it to you."

"By…?"

"Helping you fall asleep," he said promptly.

"And how will you do that?" she asked, skeptically.

He grinned roguishly, and she flushed when her mind instantly sank down into the gutter to play in the mud and conjure up some rather – interesting – ideas. She quickly banished the less-than-pure thoughts, but not before John noticed the pink staining her cheeks.

Grinning even wider, John said, "Why don't you come with me and see? Seriously, I have tried-and-true methods for falling asleep, no matter how hyped up you are on coffee, drugs, or something else."

Not sure if he was using innuendo or not, she just gave him a hesitant look. "C'mon," he cajoled. "After everything you do for Atlantis? Let me help you get some rest. I swear, I have no ulterior motive."

"John, I'm fine. Really. I usually just do paperwork until I'm able to sleep," she said.

"You're not doing paperwork now," he pointed out. "And I've seen you do that – you end up working all through the night. Let's try it my way for once."

Elizabeth sighed and finally caved. "Fine."

The word was barely out of her mouth when John said brightly, "Great!" He grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet, leading out of the office before she could so much as let out a squeak of protest.

"John!" she finally gasped as he propelled her firmly but gently through the control room. "What are you doing?" They were walking at a quick pace, causing several of the night gate techs to look at them strangely. A few were even hiding amused smiles.

"Step number one: physically exhaust yourself," John said cheerfully. "We're going for a run."

"What?" she demanded, wondering if she had misheard.

"A run. Or jog. Whichever you prefer. We'll even take the scenic route; there are some pretty sweet views of the city and ocean from the balconies at night," he said.

Elizabeth didn't know if she should laugh or frown, and nearly strained her face muscles as they tried to do both. "John - "

"Elizabeth," he cut her off, stopping in the hallway as he faced her. "Do you want to sleep tonight or not?"

"Well – yes, but - "

"Then trust me. A run is just what you need."

"Fine." Elizabeth blew the air out of her cheeks. "But we're stopping at my room so I can change."

"Deal."

----

Sweat ran in rivers down her face and body. Muscles she hadn't even known she'd possessed screamed and ached. Her heart was pumping furiously, and she panted rapidly in a vain effort to catch her breath. Elizabeth had never thought you could feel like you were drowning while surrounded in air, but now she knew better.

With a groan, she slowed down and halted, placing her hands on her knees as she struggled to fend off the drowning sensation. John realized she'd stopped and came back to stand at her side.

"What, tired already?" he teased. "We've barely been at it for ten minutes!"

She sent him a deadly glare. "For your information, Superman, we've been jogging for a good forty-five minutes. I think I've had enough."

"But we're almost there!" he protested.

"Almost where?"

"At the place I wanted to show you. It'll only take a few more minutes," he said.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "No, thanks."

He pouted, treating her to his best melting-your-heart look. "Please?"

She sighed. "Okay, okay, but it better be close."

Brightening, he assured her, "It is, come on," and took off running. With a moan, she followed.

Ten minutes later, they reached one of the piers. "This'd better be good…" she began, only to gasp at the sight awaiting them.

John had been right – there were some sweet views from the balconies at night.

The city was dark against an enormous, star-lit sky. Lights scattered throughout Atlantis shone and reflected against the ocean, which was black and smooth as polished ebony. From out here she could hear the low, soothing hum from emanating from Atlantis' very core, the gentle lapping of the waves. A cool, fresh breeze played with her hair and danced along her skin, causing goosebumps to rise. The entire experience was breathtaking.

"Cool, huh?" John's voice broke through her reverie. "I come out here whenever I need to think, or just want to relax."

"I can see why you would," Elizabeth murmured, moving to lean against the railing of the balcony. "John, it's amazing."

"Yeah. A realtor would kill to broker this view, don't you think?"

She smiled. "Too bad, because we're not selling."

He sent her a grin and leaned against the railing beside her. They spent a few minutes in silence. Elizabeth enjoyed the sight; John did too, but he was more drawn to a different kind of view. Rarely did he get to see Elizabeth so relaxed and content as she was now. She deserved it; she shouldn't have to worry and work as much as she did. Right now she looked beautiful.

"So. Is this all part of your plan to get me to fall asleep?" she questioned.

"Depends. Are you tired?"

She paused, and then smiled at him rather self-consciously. "Actually, I feel more energized than ever."

He groaned. "That happens sometimes. Instead of getting tired, you feel stronger." John frowned, thinking. "Okay, we'll have to try something else."

Elizabeth followed him back inside. "What?"

"Step two: trick your brain into wanting to go to sleep."

----

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at the man sitting cross-legged in front of her. "Meditation."

"Yeah. Meditation is so boring, it's practically guaranteed to make you want to go to sleep. Trust me, I have six months of forced meditation speaking for me," John said seriously, a hint of mournfulness in his tone as he spoke the last part.

Still doubtful, she began to sit down across from him. "If meditation is so bad, then why did you do it during those six months?"

"Weren't you listening? I said forced, remember?" John grumbled.

Struggling to hide her amusement, she replied, "If you say so."

"I do say so. Okay, let's do this. You'll be asleep in no time. Close your eyes," he commanded. She complied. "Now clear your mind of all thought. Focus on your breathing, and your heartbeat. Continue to do so until your mind has, uh, united with the energy and peace in your surroundings, or something."

Elizabeth frowned and cracked open an eye to look at him. "Or something? Do you know what you're doing?" she poked.

He pretended to scowl ferociously at her. "Of course I do. Now close your eyes!"

Suppressing a smile, she closed her eyes and tried to do as he said. Clear the mind, concentrate on breathing. It was harder than she imagined; her thoughts kept wandering away, wanting to go over her worries or memories or ideas. It took her a good thirty minutes to completely empty her brain and keep it that way.

A nudge on the arm made her open her eyes again. She looked at John quizzically. "What?"

"You're supposed to be asleep," he said, feigning disappointment.

She rolled her eyes. "How can I sleep with you jabbing at me?" she demanded in a mock-aggravated tone.

"How else am I supposed to check if you're awake?"

"You could call my name," she suggested. "Or something."

"Alright, alright," he said, pouting. She smiled and closed her eyes.

---Fifty minutes later---

"Elizabeth?"

"Yes, John?"

"You're supposed to be asleep."

"I know. You've told me that five times, already."

He groaned and stood, helping her to her feet. "This isn't working. We gotta try something else."

"What, you still have ideas?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yup. And I will until you're asleep. This insomnia will be conquered," he said determinedly, leading her out of the training room.

"Where are we going now?"

"The rec."

"Why?"

"Have I mentioned you ask too many questions?"

"Who's asking questions now?"

He pretended to shoot her a glare. "Don't confuse me. We're going to watch a movie."

Smirking in triumph, she obediently followed him into the rec. "Dare I ask why?"

"No, you daren't. Choose: Mission Impossible III or the new James Bond?"

"I don't see how those movies will put me to sleep. They're action, aren't they?"

"Yeah, but I am not watching any romance movies."

Elizabeth regarded him curiously. "Why not?"

"Ronon likes them. He made us watch Titanic five times in the last month alone," John said with a wince. "Please, pick something else."

Giggling at the thought of Ronon liking sappy romance movies, she picked James Bond.

"Hmm, Bond fan, are we?"

"No, I just can't stand Tom Cruise."

"Ah. Daniel Craig is better?"

"Cuter."

John's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

"Mm-hmm. You've got nicer hair, though," Elizabeth commented.

She grinned to herself at the sight of John's face – for once, he had nothing to say, and the look of complete surprise on his face was pretty cute. She bit her lip to hold back a grin; it was nice to be the one laughing, for once.

A second later her smugness disappeared as John suddenly (and quite literally) swept her off her feet, causing her to emit an unconscious squeak of surprise as he cradled her in his arms. "Liz, I don't know what to say. I've never received a better compliment."

Elizabeth pretended to glower at him. "You'll soon be receiving a smack on the head if you keep calling me Liz. Now put me down!"

"Yes, ma'am," he said promptly, walking over to the sofa and carefully setting her down. Giving her a winning smile, he turned around and began trying get the DVD player to start. It took quite a bit of coaxing to get it to work, and Elizabeth made herself comfortable on the sofa, smiling quietly to herself.

When John finally settled down beside her, she was all composure and poise. "Is it working now?" she asked.

"Yup," he replied, just as the movie began. "Too bad there's no popcorn or chocolate."

"I don't think I need any more sugar in my system," Elizabeth pointed out.

"True." He scooted towards Elizabeth, wrapping his arms around her.

"John?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Making you comfortable, of course. So you can sleep easier," he explained.

"Right," Elizabeth said, trying not to let her doubt color her voice. She wondered if she should pull away, but decided it couldn't hurt and settled back to enjoy the movie.

----

John smiled to himself as he looked down on Elizabeth's slumbering form. The movie was finally over, and his plan had worked – she'd fallen asleep three-quarters through the film.

Being careful not to move her too much, he shifted her so that she lay in his arms and gently picked her up. Taking a moment to turn of the DVD player, he walked towards the door and headed to Elizabeth's room.

The door to her room opened obediently when he asked it too, and he stepped inside the neat interior of her quarters. It was clean but warm; like her office, several off-world cultural items decorated it.

Moving to her bed, he managed to push back the sheets with his leg, laying her down tenderly. For a moment he studied her profile: creamy skin, silky hair, finely chiseled face. Then he spoke.

"You can stop pretending to be asleep now, Elizabeth. I know you're awake."

Her eyes opened and she looked at him guiltily. "How did you know?"

"I saw your eyelids flicker," he replied dryly. "Plus you tensed when I picked you up."

"Oh." She looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry. But I was feeling bad for keeping you up. It's my fault I can't go to sleep; I'm the one who drank one too many cups of coffee. I shouldn't drag you into this as well."

John sighed. "Elizabeth, Elizabeth," he admonished. "Don't you know that I don't mind staying up for you? Heck, I'd do anything for you. Jump off a cliff, run through Wraith-infested territory, challenge Ronon to a duel to the death… I would even face one of those damn bugs for you."

Elizabeth smiled and glanced down, glad for the darkness that hid her blush. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Well, I can promise you I'll never ask you to do any of those things," she said. "So – what now?"

John pulled her to her feet. "Fortunately for you, I have one last idea."

----

Standing shyly outside the entrance to John's quarters, Elizabeth watched him ruffle through this things, shifting and fidgeting slightly. Glancing up briefly, John said, "Come on in. It's okay, the room doesn't bite and neither do I."

"Maybe I should wait out here."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Don't be silly. Come in," he insisted.

Hesitating just a moment longer, she finally stepped inside the room, trying to ignore the feeling that tickled her belly when the doors swooped shut behind her.

"Finally, I found it," John exclaimed, holding a CD up triumphantly. He moved to the other side of his room, turning on the laptop that sat on the table. He mumbled something incoherent under his breath as prodded the computer to life, inserted the CD, and stepped back as gentle, thrumming guitar chords filled the room.

Cocking her head, Elizabeth questioned, "Johnny Cash?"

He gave her a surprised look. "That was quick. How'd you know?"

She raised an eyebrow and pointed to the poster hanging besides his bed.

"Ah. Dang poster, gave it away," he complained.

Elizabeth laughed. "Pretty much. Tell me again what we're doing here?"

He held out a hand and smiled. "Elizabeth, will you grant me this dance?" he asked, his tone formal and playful all at once.

Taken aback, she didn't reply, only allowed him to pull her in his arms as he smoothly began to guide her around the room. Regaining her voice, she shot him a curious look and said, "Dancing?"

"Yeah. I used to do it with my little sister when she couldn't fall asleep," John said, eyes shining at the memory.

"Oh," she said, thinking about how sweet that was. "My brother used to hit me with pillows when I couldn't fall asleep."

He laughed, delighted. "Really? Maybe we should try that."

She whacked him on the shoulder lightly. "I don't think so, Colonel," she said sternly, yet unable to keep the smile from her face.

They fell silent, and Elizabeth relaxed as the music drifted around her. The exertions of the day were beginning to catch up, and her body was exhausted. The warmth of John's body and the swaying to the music was lulling her to sleep… her head dropped to rest on his chest, and she allowed her eyes to slide shut as she enjoyed the peaceful feeling that enveloped her.

"Sleepy?" John asked, his voice quiet.

"Mmm," she hummed in reply, too drowsy to think of a proper response.

She barely noticed when he picked her up and carried her to the bed. Seconds later she found herself spooned up against John, wrapped in his blankets and his scent. The music faded into the background, and Elizabeth could feel herself being slowly eased into a blissful slumber…

When a sudden snore yanked her back out. Elizabeth twisted slightly to look at John, who was completely and totally asleep. She sighed. "At least one of us is happy," she muttered. Then she smiled. He looked so – well – cute. She shouldn't be thinking that, but it was too late now.

Elizabeth knew she should probably head back to her own quarters. If anyone saw her coming out of John's room in the morning, the rumor mill would spin like crazy. But she was so warm and comfortable… it couldn't hurt to just rest here a few minutes…

She allowed herself to close her eyes, and within seconds she was in as deep a sleep as he was.

--Fin--