**These characters are not mine nor have they ever been nor will they ever be copyright goes to their original creators.
**Side note I am writing this this on my phone, there may be grammatical errors due to this fact.
The bright full set moon shone through the cracks of the tree tops. The night was silent besides the faint sound of feet pacing back and forth in a five feet radius.
Where was he? He had never been a patient man and since his latest near-death experience, he found he was even less patient as a demon.
"Damnit Cas," Dean Winchester muttered under his breath.
He couldn't stop thinking about the angel, he didn't know why. He rarely slept in his new stage of life, but when he did, he would dream of bright blue eyes looking up at him. The most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.
He hadn't seen those eyes in five months, besides his dreams that he would never admit out loud he had. Crowley would tease him about missing the angel, when he looked down or irritate, the self proclaimed king of hell would make it a point to ask him if he missed his 'boyfriend'.
Which Castiel certainly was not! They were enemies now, Dean was a demon and Cas, well Cas was literally as angelic as he looked. They came from different worlds, plus Dean wasn't gay (he quickly reminded himself as he thought these things).
Nearly an hour passed and the man continued to pass the whole while, he kept checking the time on his phone. Castiel was over an hour and a half late, which wasn't unusual but after having been so long since they had seen each other, Dean was on edge.
"What the hell?" he exclaimed angrily to himself. His patience had left him an hour ago, now this was just irritating him further.
A soft swoosh sound caused his head to turn and look behind him.
"Hello Dean."
Bright blue eyes stared into the demon's green ones.
"Cas," he breathed, his voice felt like it caught in his throat. He hadn't felt this way the whole time he had been a demon.
"Let's make this short, Dean. Sam will be angry if he finds out I saw you without bringing him," Castiel said calmly.
"I don't freaking care what Sam thinks or how he feels," he snapped back. "Who I see and what I do is my business, not his. I don't care if you tell him you saw me, this isn't about him."
"What is it about, Dean?"
The way his name sounded coming from the angel's mouth made him feel like he was going to go crazy; and not in a bad way.
"This is about us," Dean said, though it was getting harder to speak his thoughts now that he was actually face to face with the other. He had been trying to rehearse this for months but he couldn't remember his words anymore.
Cas rose one dark brown brow as confusion found his face. "What about us?" he asked, "There isn't an us; I'm an angel of the lord and you. You hold the Mark of Cain, you're a demon, Dean."
"Like I don't freakin know that!" he snapped, raising his voice now, "You don't have to remind me, I know."
Castiel's ocean blue eyes gave away the pain that the angel felt on the inside, "Sam just wants to help you, you hate demons! Why are you still one when you know there is a way to cure you?" he demanded.
"Being a demon is great! I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to. I was wrong, being a demon isn't all that bad, it's pretty fucking awesome!"
The angel looked away, "It's awful," he said. "I can't believe you, and I can't stand by and be friends with a demon. You can still say what you want, but this will be our last time speaking in a friendly way."
A look of surprise took over Dean's face, his green eyes widening. "You're not going to be my friend anymore because of this?" he demanded.
"No! I cannot, demons are monsters. They kill people for no reason, they can't care about things. I cannot be friends with someone who won't have my back," he said. "I cannot have a friend that doesn't care."
"I still care about you, Cas," Dean said, "I'd never stop caring about you, I can't believe you freaking think that I don't care about you anymore."
"You're a demon! You don't feel anything but hate." The angel protested. He wished he could believe the other man still cared about him, but he couldn't believe it even for a second.
Dean swiftly shifted forward, moving towards the other male and put a hand on his upper bicep. "Cas, look at me. I could never not care about you, I don't care about anyone but you. I don't care about my brother, or anyone who has ever died; not even my mom. But damnit Cas, I care about you."
Castiel looked sadly at the other man, "I wish I could believe that," he said quietly, "I'm going to go now."
"Please, Cas just listen to me," Dean said. His mind panicked, how was he supposed to talk him into staying and talking to him? He reached out with his other arm and set his hand against the man's other arm, his grip firm but not threatening. "I just want to talk to you, I have to let you know how I feel. I can't stop fucking thinking about you, you're all I dream about. I've missed you so fucking much, I didn't mean to turn into a demon. I died damnit."
"I wish you would have stayed dead!" Cas finally said what he had been thinking for months now. "If you were dead it would be easier than this is. I know you're alive, and I want to go find you and be with you, but then I remember that we can never be together because you're a demon."
"That's stupid," he scoffed, "It should be easier, I'm not a human anymore. I don't have a soul."
Castiel pulled away from him, "Exactly! You don't have a soul," he snapped.
"You don't either."
Those bright blue eyes narrowed at the comment, "We're very different, we come from the opposite sides of the law."
"Yeah, but we've learned that even angels can be tricky little bastards." The demon snapped back. Which was true, plenty of angels had made his job as a hunter a lot more difficult than it had to be.
This seemed to annoy the angel further, "That's not what this is about."
"The fuck it isn't!" Dean snapped, "It's about how different we are? We're not that different, we're more alike now than we were before. We're immortal powerful beings, Cas, we're unstoppable, we could be together forever," he stepped closer to him again, "I'll leave Crowley's service, we can just run away somewhere they'll never find us."
Castiel blinked at the other's words, "You want to run away with me?" He asked.
"That's what I just said, are you not listening to me? That's what I wanted to talk to you about, I can't get you out of my head. You're all I care about, you're all I want, damnit Cas," he said, a sigh escaped him and he backed up, "This is crazy, I can't believe I'm actually telling you this."
"I don't understand," he said. "What about all of those women? Or am I confusing the situation?"
Dean itched his cheek, "I like women and men," he said, it was so strange actually saying it out loud for once. "I know, you probably don't believe me. But I was in love with you as a human, and as a demon. I still want to be with you."
A blush rose to the angel's face, "You were in love with me?" He sputtered.
The green eyed man sighed loudly, "That's what I just freaking said!"
"I-I know but just.."
"I don't care if you don't believe me, I'm just glad I got it off my mind."
Castiel looked at the grassy ground blow his feet, what was he supposed to say to that? "I care about you, Dean," he said, hesitation, "I loved you. But you're not even yourself anymore."
Dean's green eyes flashed black as his lips pursed together. "You don't know anything about me." He snapped.
"Exactly," the angel said, sadly. "I don't know anything about you anymore. I really don't, and that tears me apart.
The other man's lip twitched and he turned away from him, "I asked you to come here to talk to you, tell you how I feel and now you're going to be a little bitch about it." He snapped.
"What?" Castiel asked, "I'm not being a little b-word! I'm being honest. I don't know you anymore! You've killed so many innocent people, you've done so many horrible things. I've been watching you Dean and it kills me to see the things you have done."
"So what are you going to do? Are you going to kill me? Fine, freakin do it."
"I'm not going to kill you, not this time at least. I told you, this is our last friendly meeting."
Dean snorted and took his hands away from the other, firmly crossing his arms against his chest, "I'll just have to kill you first then. If that's how this is going to be." He said.
A sad look fell upon the angel's face, "That's not how it has to be," he said, "You can be cured. You can be human again."
"You just want me to be weak again! You want me to need you, you want me to have to call for you when I need help," the demon said, suddenly outraged, "That's what this is all about isn't it?"
Castiel looked astounded at the suggestion, "Of course not! I just want you to be you again," he said, "I want the man I fell in love with back again!"
"So you're being selfish!"
"You're the one being selfish! What about your brother, and your parents and Bobby? What about humanity?"
"I have always done everything everyone has wanted me to do, I spent my whole damn life protecting Sam and worthless humans!" The demon's shouts echoed through the forest, causing a bird to flutter off from a tree nearby.
Castiel flinched at the sudden shouting, there was no need for that. "Fine, then do what makes you happy, Dean. But I will have nothing to do with it." He said.
Just as magically as he had appeared, the angel was gone. He vanished before other man's green eyes with no sign that he had ever been there.
"Cas?" Dean called, frantically looking around the woods. He knew the angel was gone, he wouldn't be back. The next time they saw each other, they would have to try to kill each other because that was what they said they would do.
"I didn't mean it Cas!" He just wanted the other to come back, his words hadn't came out right; things were brought up that he wasn't expecting to have to deal with. "This wasn't how I planned this to go!"
He punched the tree closest to him. He didn't want to go back to being a weak human, but he wanted. No. Needed. He needed Castiel to be in his life.
"God damnit, Dean! You really fucked this one up." He grumbled to himself.
He followed the tramped trail he had made through the forest back to the black Audi he had drove there, he missed his Impala but he knew he couldn't get her back.
He missed Cas too, and it seemed like he wasn't going to get him back anytime soon.
Dean punched a tree as he walked passed it, he should have been used to this. He never got what he wanted anyway, all his life he had to live in his father's shadow; forced to track down demons and then take care of little pathetic Sam all the time. Bullshit. And now that he was finally happy, no one else wanted him to be. They would rather him be dead, Sam and Cas both. The only person he had left was Crowley, who was alright he supposed but had a 'God' complex just like Sam; he always wanted him to do what he wanted and never what the new demon wanted.