Reformation

The common usage or definition of a word is not always accurate.

YGOTAS. Another fic/drabble/thing set in the conspireboyz universe. And once again, it focuses on Melvin (because he's always a fun character study.) Caually mentions deathshipping.

"The common usage or definition of a word is not always accurate. Sometimes words take on different meanings in different contexts. That's one of the quirks of language," Melvin mused in the early hours of the morning, while the rest of the apartment was sleeping. He should have been sleeping himself, but tonight he couldn't stop his mind from wandering. Even after three years, even after being reformed, he still had trouble living a completely normal life. Being reformed still couldn't change the fact that, for 16 years, he lived on very little sleep. Before he was reformed, he lived in the back of his own head. He watched; he fed; he waited. Waited to be free to cause havoc. That's all he wanted before he was reformed. Chaos; carnage; death. And he got his wish, he got his freedom. But then it was snatched away from him, and he was banished to the Shadows. And that's where he belonged, before he was reformed.

Reformed.. Reformed. The word stuck out in Melvin's sleep-deprived mind. Reformed. That word didn't describe him at all. Reformed people were monsters who had been scrubbed squeaky clean, so that if you looked at them you could see your reflection. That's all they did; reflect the good choices and good morals of the people around them. It wasn't even real, it was entirely cosmetic. These monsters hadn't changed, they were still corrupt. They just faked their reformation for friends, or money, or power, or any other stupid reason. He wasn't like that at all. In three years he'd barely changed, at least, that's what he thought. Sure, he didn't kill people anymore, but that was hardly a qualification for being a 'good person.' Good people were.. Wait, what were good people? What made someone good?

The best person he knew was Ryou, and Ryou was far from good. And far from bad. He occupied a very gray area of morality. (a true neutral perhaps?) He never did things because someone told him it was right; he only ever did what he felt was right. And some of those choices were not what society would call 'good.' Like allowing three well-known villains to live with you. Or (not-so) secretly loathing all your so-called 'friends' for being crass idiots. Or staying up until three in the morning painting figurines. But Ryou had the luxury of being a soft spoken person who was generally kind. He had the luxury of being able to pass for another law-abiding citizen. Melvin did not.

Melvin was not a goody two-shoes, or a law-abiding citizen. He killed- wait, no, he didn't do that anymore.
Well, he definitely stole- no, he hadn't done that recently either. (unless stealing snacks at midnight counted.)
He had also never broken a traffic law, but that was because he couldn't drive. Legally at least.
But he sometimes said swear words!
But that was hardly illegal.

Okay, so maybe Melvin hadn't really done anything against the law since he was yanked out of the Shadows, but he still wasn't a good person! He was a villain after all, they were bad by default. And he was villainous in a lot of ways! Like hating humanity… Well, he didn't really hate humanity, he was mostly indifferent.
But he wanted to rule the world! Wait, no he didn't, that would be a lot of responsibility. All of those lives to take care off…
Maybe he could plunge the world into darkness? No, that wouldn't work either. The world was kind of nice. It had pretty plants, and lots of cool animals, and even a few amazing people.

So maybe Melvin wasn't very villainous either, but he still wasn't nice. He didn't like people. Except to Ryou.
And Marik.
And Florence.
Oh, and Odion and Ishizu too!
…that was a lot of people for a not nice guy to like, and that wasn't even counting the random strangers he saw around Domino, like kids playing in the park or people who smiled at him on the subway. And animals. He loved animals. Most animals he had met seemed friendly by default, and it was very hard to be mean to something so small and cute. Especially if it hadn't done anything to you. But it's not like any of them liked him back. He was a monster, someone who had committed terrible, unforgivable crimes. Who could ever like him?

Ryou. Marik. Florence. Ishizu and Odion. And all his neighbors in the apartment seemed to recognize him (he blamed his hair) and they always smiled at him and said hello. Again, that was a lot of people.

...Maybe Melvin was just too tired to think. Yeah, he just needed to wake up a little to clear his mind. So he got up from his bed, and quietly padded into the kitchen to make some tea, and probably a sandwich too. Unfortunately, he ran into Ryou.

"Melvin, what are you doing up?" Ryou asked quietly, his head turning to greet Melvin.

"I couldn't sleep," Melvin answered, knowing lying to Ryou was a waste of time and energy.

Ryou frowned in concern. "Again? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

Melvin opened the fridge and looked inside and answered from behind the door, "I didn't want to bother you. And why are you up?"

Ryou hesitated at the question, before looking down and meekly answering "I couldn't sleep either. Too much on my mind."

"You and me both," Melvin replied, grabbing the lunch meat and the mustard. He closed the fridge before asking, "What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, you know," Ryou said, "Just about how... I used to not be in control of my own life, and now I am."

Melvin nodded. He understood the feeling, probably a little too well.

"What about you?" Ryou asked, looking at Melvin, "What were you thinking of?"

"I don't know; I was just thinking," Melvin shrugged. Why was he so hesitant to answer? It's not like Ryou would care. "I don't know. Ryou, do you- do you think I'm good?"

"Oh, Melvin," Ryou breathed. He slid off his seat on the kitchen stool to walk around to Melvin and wrap his arms around the other's waist. "Not really," Ryou answered slowly, before reaching up on his tip-toes to plant a kiss on Melvin's cheek, "I think you're pretty great, actually."

Melvin blushed at the sudden display of affection, but he quickly composed himself enough to bend down and kiss Ryou's forehead, before mumbling, "Well, I think you're pretty great too."

Ryou giggled at the kiss, before yawning and leaning against Melvin. "I'm pretty sleepy now," he said quietly, "why don't we go lay down together and try to get some sleep?"

"Okay," Melvin whispered. He gathered up his sandwich making supplies and put them back in the fridge, before taking Ryou's hand and leading him to his room. After they crawled under the covers, Melvin immediately curled around Ryou and buried his face in his soft white hair. He took a deep breath, then he let out a content sigh. Somehow, laying curled around Ryou, where he could hear his heart beat and smell his calm scent and feel his body heat, always made him feel at peace. And, in that quiet moment, Melvin realized how soft he had gotten in the past three years. He really was a reformed villain. But reformed didn't always mean squeaky clean. Sometimes reformed meant becoming softer, more human. And if this was reformation, these quiet moments where he could feel himself falling asleep next to closest friend, he was happy to be called reformed. He smiled before embracing Ryou tighter. Being reformed had it's perks, like getting to call Ryou his boyfriend.
Or getting to play video games with Marik, his brother.
Or getting to chase Florence around the tiny apartment, threatening to tear him apart for changing the channel, even though the threats were empty.
Or getting to make amends with Ishizu and Odion, and getting to be a part of their life.

Yeah, Melvin could live with being called reformed.