Danny: Now who gets to say the disclaimer? I'll let Eddy do it this chapter.
Eddy: Awesome! The following is a non-profit fan-based parody! Ed, Edd n Eddy is owned by Cartoon Network and AKA Cartoon. Please support the official release, will ya!
Double D: Well done, Eddy.
Eddy: I try.
Chapter 1: 1000 BC (Before Cash)
"I'm gonna draw me a brand new comic book, with monsters that will never cease. It'll be so freakin' cool." Ed sang happily. Ed was at home working on what he wanted to do in life, make comics. The one he was working on now was called Barabbas the Barbarian. Ed also had drawn plenty more such as 'Killer Klaws', 'Evil Guacamole from Planet Nachos', and 'Creature in the Tide.'
"I'm almost done!" Ed exclaimed. After about ten more minutes, he finished his comic. He then sat down on his chicken-infested couch and began to read. In this story, Barabbas was tricked by a wizard and was sent to the past and he to figure out how to get back to his time. Ed then had the idea that Double D could build a time machine and they could all have adventures in the different time periods.
"Yeah! Double D could build us one! I'll tell him right now. Ed took his comic book and went to tell Eddy and Double D. Eddy was at Double D's house, waiting for him to finish his chores.
"Come on, Edd. We don't have all day. You've been vacuuming for two hours now!" Eddy grumbled. Double D continued cleaning anyway.
"You can't rush perfection, Eddy!" Double D exclaimed. Just then Ed burst in through the door and tripped over the plug to the vacuum cleaner. He fell flat on his face. Double D turned off the vacuum to check on his fallen comrade. "Goodness, Ed! Are you alright?" Ed got back up.
"It is okay." Ed said. "Oh, yeah! I have an idea!"
"Monobrow here has an idea? This should be good." Eddy laughed. Double D scolded Eddy for his comment and then allowed Ed to finish. Ed explained to them his comic and the idea he had to build a time machine.
"I'm gonna smile and pretend I know what you're talking about." Eddy said.
"It is simple, Eddy." Ed began, "Let us build a time machine!"
"Oh, wait! We can build one for a scam! The kids will be lining up to go on this so-called time machine!" Eddy thought.
"Easier said than done, fellows. But I will be happy to oblige you." Double D approved. "Now, I am going to work on the blueprints. They shall be finished by morning."
"Ed, this is actually a good idea." Eddy congratulated. Ed hugged Eddy tightly for his nice remark. He held onto Eddy until he screamed in his ear,
"Hey, lumpy! Let me go!" Ed let go immediately after that. Eddy then decided to read some of Ed's comics to see if they were worth something.
The next morning, Double D was sound asleep on his desk. He had to pull an all-nighter to finish the blueprints. Soon, Eddy came into his room, and shook him.
"Wake up, Goldilocks!" Eddy shouted. Double D then woke up instantly. He rubbed his eyes, and then greeted his two friends. Eddy pushed Double D out of the way to see the plan. "Move it, or lose!" Eddy looked at the blueprint, but he didn't understand it at all. Double D stood back up and turned around the sheet because Eddy had been reading it upside down. "Perfect! Now, we build!" The three ran into the garage. Double D told them to get the material he required, iron, stone, marble, wood, glass, and plastic. Both Ed and Eddy were confused because they didn't know where to find the so-said materials. Double D then instructed them to search in the construction site, and the junkyard.
"You are bound to find something there." The two then ran off to the places, first the junkyard.
"We need something made of iron… Ooh! This doohickey is covered in rust, and iron rusts! I know this because Double D taught me well." Eddy said. "Okay, now we need stone. That's easy, Ed, get a few rocks." Ed picked up five rocks and put them in a wheel barrow with the 'doohickey'. "Take these glass and plastic bottles as well. And this thingy made of marble."
"Where do we get the wood?" Ed asked.
"The construction site. Let's roll!" So, finally, they had all the materials they needed, and returned them to Double D.
"Very good, gentlemen. We shall commence building now." Double D said. Eddy walked away, because he didn't spend his free time working on the machine.
"What do you mean 'We'? I'm gonna pass. Ed can help." Double D rolled his eyes and allowed Eddy to walk out. They began building. Eddy set up a chair in front of the garage and watched Ed and Double D build. Soon, Eddy fell dormant. He dreamt of what the scam would be like and how much of a success it would be. The kids were lining up, and when they got inside the machine, Ed would shake it around as if they were traveling time, and then take them to the junkyard where they decorated it to look like mythological times.
After an hour, Double D finally awakened him. "Ugh! Did you guys fix up the junkyard?" Eddy asked with a slight headache.
"All completed, Eddy. We even put up the stand." Double D rejoined. Eddy smiled at his answer. Double D then told him about some of the features. On the inside, there was a computer that told you facts about wherever you were going, and it was programmed to have Eddy's voice. Kevin and Rolf then rode on by with their bikes, and were confused at what the Eds were doing.
"What's it look like? It's a time machine! Only twenty-five cents! It works!" Eddy advertised. Kevin was still confused.
"Test it and make sure then. I'll try it out too." Kevin said.
"Whatever, you just give me my twenty-five cents." Eddy asserted.
"Actually, since it's a test, it's free." Kevin rectified. Eddy was about to yell at Kevin, but Double D interjected him. He said Kevin was right. It was only a test. But if it does work in the end, he will have to pay. But if it doesn't work, he won't have to pay a cent.
"I hate it when you do that." The five of them ran in the time machine. It was kind of the big. The seats were made of hard leather. It was very dark because it lacked a light bulb. It was full of buttons and levers along with a keyboard to type the time era you want to go to.
"Let it roll, Sockhead!" Eddy decreed. Double D pulled a lever, than Eddy pushed a big red button. Ed typed in the era they wanted to go to. The machine began to quake. Eddy then realized that Ed wasn't the one shaking it. "Ed! Shouldn't you be outside!" Eddy asked in a sharp whisper.
"Yep! Ed started, "Wait…" The machine shook even more now. It was shaking so hard, Kevin fell out of his seat and onto the floor.
"Rolf thinks this actually works! Hold on for thy dear life!" Rolf exclaimed. Rolf hung onto his chair with a tight grip. Jonny and Jimmy walked over by to see what was the commotion.
"What's with all the noise?" Jimmy asked.
"Plank says Double D's garage is gonna blow up!" Jonny explained. He opened it up to see the time machine trembling. "Holy guacamole! What is that?" Jonny and Jimmy stumbled as they backed away. They then saw the ship disappear.
"What was that?" Jimmy demanded.
"I don't know, but Planks says we should get the heck out of here!" Jonny ordered. The time machine actually worked. They were now headed toward their destination.
Meanwhile, in some weird world, two beings were sitting around. One was an older woman sitting in a rocking chair, knitted, and the other was a younger boy. While knitting, the woman noticed a whole in the fabric.
"Oh, fudge bottoms!" The woman exclaimed. "Someone cut a hole in the Fabric of the Universe!" The younger boy then spoke out in a backwards message. It was translated to 'Those Eds are always causing trouble.' The woman nodded in agreement.
Back in the ship, the computer began flashing. Double D could see them going through space, and that they were going to the past. Then, there was a loud crash. They landed in the place they were set towards going to, 1000 BC. They all then slowly stood back up. An alarm in the machine then began to sound. The computer spoke in Eddy's voice.
"Welcome to a wonderful time! Of gods and of mortals, and of mixtures of them both! This is 1000 BC, in Greece!" The computer welcomed. The computer then commanded the five of them to exit the machine and head out.
"Why'd you give it an irritating voice?" Kevin asked. Eddy ignored that, he was too shocked to see that the time machine actually worked. Eddy and Double D then read Ed's comic book he luckily brought with him, Barabbas the Barbarian.
"Double D, what did we just do?" Eddy asked, still shocked.
"I don't know. It was impossible this could've worked." Double D clarified. Double D searched the machine for anything weird. Double D then found a substance in the fuel duct. "Ed, what is this?"
"Oh, it was some glowing green stuff I found under my bed. It's probably those broken glow sticks from 12 years ago." Ed thought. The other four of them stared at Ed, and then the machine. They still couldn't believe something as simple as that could charge the time machine.
"Oh, and since the machine worked, you both owe us twenty-five cents!" Eddy said excitedly.
"Rolf thinks we have other things to be concerned of." Rolf supposed. Some of the nearby civilians saw the five strange people appear from out of nowhere.
"U, hi." Eddy greeted calmly.