Clarke was feeling …pain. Her whole world was pain. Her chest felt like there was a gaping whole where her heart should be and every breath felt like she was suffocating. She had heartbreak before. Even ever since her father died it felt like her heart was being constantly broken. Losing friends, having to kill people….but nothing compared to the sheer agony that came with losing Lexa

Clarke had long outgrown the romantic notions of soul mates but that was how Lexa felt like. She part of Clarke's soul. Despite fighting it her love for Lexa had been unstoppable. Even after her betrayal it had simply kept growing. She had never felt so happy, so fulfilled, so loved and so at peace as the moment they shared just a few an hour ago.

She didn't even notice what was happening around her. How Titus took Lexa's body and made up some story. How Murphy seemed to hide behind her like a dog. How the handmaidens tried to offer her a change of clothes as Lexa's blood was all over her.

Clarke knew she had to work to do. That she had to go with Octavia. That she had to protect her people but she couldn't. Lexa's death had done what even Mount Weather couldn't do. Broken her completely. And so she just stood unmoving as Lexa's death played over and over in her mind bringing fresh agony over and over again

" Clarke are listening to me. We have to get out of here. These people are just as crazy as Jaha. She had a freaking AI in her head. And freaking black blood! For all we know she wasn't even human but some freaky organic version of goddamn ALIE"

Anger bloomed in Clarke's chest as Murphy's words finally reached her after an hour. She was about to lash and punch the little weasel for daring to disrespect Lexa when something clicked in her mind. She didn't understand what exactly. She couldn't quite grasp but it was there

"How did you know that the thing in Lexa's neck was an AI?" asked Clarke

"Haven't you been listening to anything I said to you" yelled Murphy and then explained the whole story

Another puzzle piece slipped in Clarke's head. She couldn't quite see the picture but she could feel it.

"Take me to the dropship" commanded Clarke

"No thanks. I don't feel like Baldy torturing me again because I toughed his holy garabage" said Murphy was he completely ignored her.

She moved like lightning. Before we even knew what was happening Murphy had a knofe on his throat

"Take me there now" she hissed leaving no room for arguing

On the way there Clarke's mind was working furiously. Her pain was still intense but she forced in the back of her mind as she desperately tried to solve the puzzle that was forming in her mind

When she reached the chamber with the pod, her eyes widened at the seeing all the different pieces from the ancient thirtieth station. She began to rummage through it not knowing what exactly she was searching for but knowing in her soul that there was something here. She was nowhere near Raven's or Monty's skill but growing with a father as an engineered allowed to restart the old hydrogen batteries. Jerry rigged systems began to flicker as the old computer displayed booted up

A journal appeared. A journal detailing the ALIE 2.0 experiments written by it's creator Becca. Detailing the physiological changes of introducing the serum and that's when… Clarke understood she was reading about the creation of the Nightbloods. She read about their increased existence to radiation, about the higher oxygen content of their blood, about her regret that she can't build more implants, about her observations on the interactions with the implant and …..Clarke's breath caught in her throat

She frantically began searching through the lab until she located the briefcase. After wasting several more minutes into searching for the password she finally opened it. There was only a single dose of the nanite serum left

"You mentioned a token that Jaha gave you" said Clarke desperately" Where is it?"

" Baldy put it over there" pointed Murphy to a small altar under the paintings

"Come with me now" said Clarke as she picked up the chip while ignoring Murphy's complaints

Clarke ignored the guards as she burst into Titus's room . They didn't dare to stop her and Murphy when they saw the expression on her face which seem to be a personification of her title Wanheda

" Clarke…" he said solemnly" I am afraid that the Spirit of the Commander has chosen Ontari as the new Heda, It will be wise for you to leave if we are to honor Lexa's last wishes"

" I don't care what you think" said Clarke viciously" Where is Lexa's body?"

" She is at Room of the Fallen. You can pay your respects there but I urge you to leave Polis after this" he said as he avoided looking her in the eye

" I am not paying my respects" stated Clarke in a voice that didn't tolerate any disobedience" I am taking her body and you will help me"

" This is insane. People will not stand for it. They will…"

" You dealt with murdering her you will deal with this as well" she said with barely concealed venom in her voice

It took more then forty five minute until they brought Lexa to the dropship chamber with her urging them at every step even though discovery likely meant death for all of them. Even Murphy shut up once he realized just how badly stealing the body of the previous Heda was for them if they ever got discovered

Titus didn't dare to object at them violating his holy place. He seemed to know that Clarke was about to snap if he did a wrong move so he followed her instructions and laid Lexa's body near the pod. He had to bite his tongue to keep himself from asking questions as he saw that drop was changed. It was shining like a beacon however he knew that Clarke wouldn't answer his questions now and bothering her likely meant death

Clarke took a hold of the ancient but very detailed first aid kit as she tore Lexa's beautiful funeral dress. Her body had been cleaned which made things easier. She quickly set to work on extracting the bullet and fixing her damaged lung. A task made much easier by the fact that Lexa was dead. She worked carefully but with haste. From what she gleaned from the research those with nano serum in them were more durable but it had been almost twelve hours since Lexa had died.

"Don't ! " said Clarke menacingly when Titus opened his mouth upon seeing Clarke take the token and open the briefcase. She carefully dropped several drops of the serum onto the taken. It seemed to absorb them and became as black as the night with the infinity symbol still shining on it. She carefully inserted it into Lexa's neck and then took up the little left of the serum and injected it into herself . She nearly bit her tongue in agony as the same began changing on a fundamental level.

It was a one in a million chance but she read Becca's notes but she had to try it. She took the ancient blood transfusion kit, not caring about the dangers of the rusty needles. She stared as black blood started flowing from her into Lexa. Then she gritted her teeth for the final step as she grabbed the wired from the computer and applied them directly to Lexa's heart. Clarke's felt her entire body explode in pain as the electricity coursed through her as well. There was no time for safety. Every minute counted as she attempted the longest resuscitation record. She knew from history that there was a case of people being brought after seven hours but that was always due to the body being preserved by extreme cold. She was hoping that the nanites serum would have similar effect if the descriptions in the journal were correct.

After thirty seconds of torture the jerry rigged power couplings exploded and Clarke fell down on Lexa. Her muscle feeling like jelly after all that electricity ran through her. But the pain in her hear was even greater as she felt no heartbeat. It had all been a foolish dream. A foolish dream by a foolish girl

And that's when something unusual happened. There was audible buzz in the air one which Clarke quickly traced to Lexa's neck which was warm. Outright burning. She had been hoping that the Jaha's chip in combination with the serum would help deal with whatever nerve damage was done after removing the Commander Spirit. She did not expect this. She expected even less for Lexa's whole body to jerk violently. And then she felt it. Lexa's glorious slow heartbeat. She felt as the transfusion began to work as Lexa body began accepting the much needed blood. And finally she saw those wonderful eyes open and stare at her. It was only a moment before they closed again but it was enough for Clarke. She let her own tortured body pass out while holding Lexa's hand in hers.

It took two days for Clarke to recover from her shock and from the large amount of blood she gave to Lexa. And it took almost a week for Lexa to be even able to speak as she recovered from her horrible injuries and her technical death

Even after a week Titus still couldn't believe the miracle Clarke had pulled off. He didn't think about the implications of it. What it meant for his beliefs that it was science that was the cause of all of this. He didn't think about the serious implications this would have with Ontari's new rule. Instead he did his best to protect them, to keep them safe until they could stand together again. This time he would not make the same mistake. He would trust Lexa. Trust in her wisdom

Far away from Polis in the half of Arkadia Jaha looked up to see ALIE looking worried.

" Are you well? What has happened?"

" The Key you gave to Murphy…something has happened. I have lost a part of myself. The City of Light is danger. We must know what he did. We must track him at every cost"

I am sorry. I know this story is rushed and poorly written but Lexa's death devastated me. I haven't eaten since I watched the episode. I just feel so hopeless and this story is my sad attempt at dealing with this pain