Author's Note: This story is based on the dubbed anime version of Ouran High School Host Club. Now that it's been said and done, enjoy!
Today was the Tokyo Battle of the Bands. Rock bands from all of the high schools in the area were gathering up at Ouran Academy to compete for the title of the best band in the city. Matt wandered around the extravagant school, looking for his band mates. "Don't forget to meet us in the Music Room," Matt remembered his friend saying.
"Great, I'm walking around this palace of a school and I can't find the damn music room. These guys are going to kill me," Matt muttered under his breath. He was getting tired of wearing his guitar on his back. He slung it off, and placed it on his other shoulder and kept walking. He went up a huge flight of stairs and walked down a hallway. Matt saw a sign that read "Music Room #3" and ran to it. "Aha, this has to be it!" Matt said as he jiggled the doorknob. As he opened the heavy door, a gust of rose petals blew in his direction. Matt got some of them in his mouth. "Pfft," Matt coughed as he tried to spit them out.
"Welcome," a crowd of boys greeted.
"Okay, you can stop the rose petals now!" A tall blonde boy said to a short, feminine-looking, dark-haired boy.
"Sure, Senpai," the dark-haired boy turned off the fan and dropped a bag of rose petals on the ground. He looked miserable.
"Awww, aren't you so cute? Pretending to not like following my orders, so precious!" The blonde boy squished the dark-haired boy's face.
"Let go of me," the dark-haired boy strained to say through squished cheeks.
"Yes, let go. We have a customer here," said a tall boy. He had black hair, wore glasses, and was typing away at a PDA.
"Uh, what the hell is going on?" Matt raised an eyebrow.
"This is the Ouran host club, silly!" The blonde boy turned to Matt. "My name is Tamaki Suoh, glad to meet you. You are a fine specimen, you know," Tamaki took Matt's hand.
"Uh, thanks but I don't roll that way," Matt said as he stepped backwards.
"Don't leave! We're just getting to know each other," Tamaki grabbed Matt by the wrist and pulled him close. "So tell me, what school are you from? That's an exquisite green jacket," Tamaki touched Matt's arm.
Oh, god. Where the hell am I? Matt was scared out of his mind.
"Well, according to the emblem on his lapel, he attends school at Odiaba Upper School. It's just a mere commoner's school. If you don't mind me asking, what is your business here?," The tall boy with glasses sternly said to Matt as he tapped on his PDA.
"A commoner?" two redheaded twins said simultaneously. They leaned very close to Matt's face. One of them pulled out a magnifying glass and examined Matt.
"How tragic, I'm so sorry," said a little blonde boy with big honey-colored eyes. He was accompanied by a tall, dark, and handsome boy with strong facial features.
"Great, before you know it, this whole school will be filled with commoners," said one twin as he backed away from Matt.
"No offense, Haruhi," the other twin turned his head to the short, dark-haired boy, who looked very pissed.
"Hold up, what do you mean 'commoner'? I'm just a normal kid," Matt was also getting agitated.
"Well, only those with excellent social status and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, Ouran Academy," Tamaki said in a princely voice. "The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's playground for the super rich and beautiful," Tamaki waved his arms with flourish.
"Right...and how does the Host Club keep girls entertained?" Matt rubbed his chin.
"We just be ourselves!" the little blonde boy smiled, as he hugged his stuffed rabbit. His innocence reminded Matt of TK when he was younger.
"You see, girls like different types of guys. Luckily for them, the Host Club caters to many different palettes, if you know what I mean," Tamaki winked at Matt.
"Actually, I have NO idea what you mean," Matt said. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but this whole host club thing sounded like a brothel to him.
"Oh, it's simple!" Tamaki put his arm around Matt and walked him around the music room. "Here at the Host Club, we offer a variety of men for our clients to choose from!"
The more he explains it, the worse this host club sounds. I need to get out of here, Matt thought.
"Some girls go crazy for the boy Lolita or maybe the Strong and Silent type," Tamaki gestured to the little blonde boy and the tall, dark boy.
"I'm Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but prefer to be called Honey! And that's Takashi, but everyone else calls him Mori! Isn't he the best?" the little blonde boy smiled as he hugged tall boy. The tall boy looked very stoic.
"Or maybe the girls want someone who has a mischievous side to them," Tamaki said as he pushed Matt towards the redheaded twins.
"Wanna play a game? Let's see if you can correctly guess which one of us is Hikaru and which one is Kaoru!" the twins said in unison as they danced around Matt.
"Maybe I'm Kaoru," one twin snuck up behind Matt's shoulder.
"And maybe I'm Hikaru!" the other twin tapped Matt's other shoulder.
"But we won't tell you which one is which! That wouldn't be fun, now would it?" the twins jumped in front of Matt.
"You guys are making me dizzy," Matt said, a little dazed.
"There's no time for that! We must move on! Some girls prefer the gentle and natural type," Tamaki grabbed Matt's shoulders and walked him over to Haruhi.
"Nice to meet you sir," Haruhi waved. He seemed pretty friendly.
"Hush hush, Haruhi! I'm not done yet!" Tamaki pressed his finger on Haruhi's lips before continuing on his long speech. "Then there's the cool type. Doesn't he just give out the coldest vibes?" Tamaki gushed.
"Maybe sketchy," Matt smirked. This guy looks like an evil version of Joe...
"You wouldn't want to be on my bad side. As Kyoya Ootori, I have a lot of power in this country. My family owns a lot of businesses in Japan. Sure, we primarily deal with the medical industry, but we also control a lot more than you would ever think was possible. For example, I know your name is Yamato Ishida but you call yourself Matt. You have a younger brother named Takeru, who is a freshman at the Odaiba Upper School, and the reason you boys have different surnames is because your parents are divorced. I can go on, but it would be trivial to do so just to prove a point. If I were you, I'd watch what I say," Kyoya said nonchalantly.
Okay Matt, there is no way a freak show like this exists in real life! Matt contemplated punching himself in the face to see if this was all just a bad dream.
"And last but DEFINITELY not the least...how else can a girl feel like a princess? By having a handsome prince by her side!" Tamaki pointed to himself.
Really? This guy is more out of touch with reality than Mimi was! At least she grew up to be more realistic! Matt stared at Tamaki with a blank expression. Tamaki went on about how he was the Host Club King and Daddy and how Kyoya was the Mommy as Matt's eyes glazed over with boredom. "Anyways, you would make the perfect host!"
When Tamaki said that, Matt's eyes bulged. "Whhhhaaaa...?"
"Oh, and so modest too! You could be like my twin! Isn't he the spitting image of Daddy?" Tamaki asked the rest of the host club.
"No boss! We already have twins, which are us, by the way," Hikaru and Kaoru turned up their noses and crossed their arms. "Hmph!"
"And also, Matt is more handsome than you are," Haruhi said. Matt gave him a weird look as Tamaki's color faded out. "No homo?" Haruhi laughed nervously.
"Uh, thanks?" Matt scratched his head.
"Oooh! I know who can tell what type of guy Matt is!" Honey exclaimed. As soon as he said that, the lights in the room went off. Lightning and thunder filled the room and the sound of moving gears was in the background. Matt heard a shill laugh, getting louder by the second. A pedestal seemed to be lifted up from underground.
"It was about time!" a girl in a silly, yellow dress stood akimbo. "I was wondering if anyone was going to cue me!" She jumped down the pedestal and grabbed Matt's chin.
"Hmmm, he has a nice jaw! Good posture, the hair could do some fixing but he definitely has potential!" she said as she moved Matt's head in different directions.
"Right, Renge?" Tamaki fixed his composure. "He could be like the yin to my yang, don't you think?" Tamaki batted his eyelashes.
"Hmmm, I see where you're getting at! The popular (but phony) prince versus the lone wolf!" Renge snapped her fingers. "It's genius! YOU," she pointed to a very scared Matt, "are the lonely musician boy with a hint of mystery around you! Who are you? Where do you come from? Girls love that! Also, I can tell you're pretty broody! That's pretty hot! At this rate, you'll take over Phony Prince's spot for Host Club King!" Renge ranted. "Am I good or what?" she smiled proudly.
"For once, you actually made sense," Kyoya smirked.
"Why thank you! So, kid! Where's your musical instrument? Every brooding, mysterious boy must have one," Renge asked Matt.
"I have my... wait a minute! Where's my guitar? It was on my back!" Matt freaked out.
"Guitar?" Hikaru and Kaoru had devilish smiles on their faces.
"You don't look like a guitarist to me. In my opinion, I can see you banging the drums," Kaoru shrugged.
"And I can see you banging the drummer," Hikaru smirked at Kaoru as he jerked his thumb at Matt.
"Hikaru! I told you not to say anything. I'm so embarrassed," Kaoru whined.
"But Kaoru, you know how jealous I get. I just want you all to myself," Hikaru caressed his twin.
"Guys, I hate to interrupt your twincest moment but we have serious issues on our hands!" Haruhi said.
"Yes, that's right! Haruhi, you go train Matt on being a good commoner host! I think you'd be the most likely to reach out to him, you know...because of your unfortunate circumstances. Now go listen to Daddy, and teach him," Tamaki shoved Matt into Haruhi.
"And what do you mean by that?" Haruhi sounded offended.
"Well, you know," Tamaki's voice began to squeak. "You're both commoners! Now go be his mentor!"
"Damn rich people," Matt muttered as he and Haruhi walked over to a couch.
"Hey, that's my line!" Haruhi said.
"How did a 'commoner' like you end up being in a crazy club like this anyway?" Matt was curious about Haruhi. For some reason, he felt really drawn to him.
"I'm here because I have to pay a debt. I accidentally broke an 8 million yen vase, so I'm working here at the host club to pay for it," Haruhi explained.
"8 million yen?," Matt shrieked.
"Yeah, so far I paid most of it off. It's not like hiring a host comes cheap, you know. I do get my fair share of regular customers," Haruhi shrugged. "It's really not that bad."
"Wow, I'm sorry," Matt said.
"Don't be. In fact without the host club, I wouldn't have fit in this school at all. Even though the guys can do some pretty idiotic stuff, they really are good people. Yes, even Kyoya," Harahi smiled. "Why did you come to Ouran in the first place?"
"It's for this Battle of the Bands thing. My band made it into the finals and I was supposed to meet them but I ended up here. I really have to get there soon though. The competition starts in an hour," Matt checked his watch. "The only thing is that I can't find my guitar. I swore I had it on me the whole time I was here. I didn't take it off the entire time," Matt grabbed his hair in frustration.
"Don't worry, I think I know what happened..." Haruhi got up from his seat and marched angrily toward the twins. "Okay, where's the guitar? He needs to be somewhere soon and all you guys are doing is holding him up!"
"What guitar?" Kaoru asked innocently.
"We have no idea what you're talking about," Hikaru gave his twin a mischievous look.
"Cut the crap already!" Haruhi yelled.
"Wow, for such a lady, you have one vulgar mouth! Maybe it is a mistake to keep letting you disguise as a boy," Tamaki grabbed Haruhi's shoulder.
"Wha-wha-wait! You're a girl?" Matt suddenly lifted his head up.
"Yeah. I just don't think gender should be an important factor in determining a person's character."
"Does that mean you're a... you know?" Matt hinted.
"A what? Cross dresser? Lesbian? Just plain weird?" The twins were guessing what Matt was trying to say.
"No, I'm not any of those. I'm disguising as a boy so I can be a host and pay off my debt faster. I trust that you'll keep this a secret too," Haruhi explained.
"Don't worry. Cross my heart," Matt promised.
"It really is my fault. Daddy should have never allowed his precious daughter to look like a boy! Now, Haruhi will never know the proper ways of being a lady," Tamaki wiped a tear off his cheek, and gave Matt a longing glance.
"Right, this is getting weird again," Matt cocked his head.
"Look, Senpai. Matt has to be at the auditorium in an hour and he can't find his guitar," Harahi said to Tamaki.
"Is this true?" Tamaki turned to Matt.
"Yes," Matt said.
"Then why didn't you say so?" Tamaki said.
"Because you keep holding him up," Harahi said. "If you guys could be quiet for one minute, maybe he would have had the chance to say something!"
Just then, they heard a loud cry. Honey ran over to Matt and buried his face in Matt's knees.
"I'm sooo sorry, Matty-chan! I didn't mean to do it!" Honey wailed.
"Honey-senpai! What happened?" Haruhi sounded concerned.
Senpai? But that would mean he's gotta be older than these guys, right? Matt thought before he snapped back into reality."What's wrong?" he patted Honey's head.
"I-I-I didn't mean to do it, honest!" Honey looked at Matt with his big, watery eyes.
"Mitsukuni broke Matt's guitar," Mori said matter-of-factly.
"What?!" Matt shrieked, which only made Honey sob harder. "No, it's okay. Please don't cry!" Matt tried to comfort him.
"I'm so sorry! I was just pretending to be a rock star and then," Honey hiccuped before crying again.
"Don't worry about it kiddo, err...I mean senpai," Matt wiped off Honey's tears with his jacket sleeve. "As long as you're not hurt, then there's no reason to cry," he said in a comforting voice. After watching out for TK for years, Matt was pretty good at making children stop crying. It took a lot of practice and patience, but he eventually got better at it.
"Aww, how touching! My dearest long-lost twin has a heart of gold! It just makes me want to cry!" Tamaki gushed.
"For the last time, you guys are not twins!" Haruhi, Kaoru, and Hikaru said in unison. Tamaki looked so devastated by the news. He sulked in the corner for a minute. Then he stood up and snapped his fingers.
Talk about resilient, Matt thought.
"Gentlemen! We need to get Matt to his competition! Hikaru, Kaoru! You're in charge of making over Matt!" Tamaki pointed to the twins.
"Sure thing boss!" The twins linked arms with Matt and dragged him to a room.
"Haruhi! Go with them and make sure they're not sexually harassing Matt!" Harahi ran off after the twins.
"Kyoya! I need you to research the best guitar out there and order it!" Tamaki said as Kyoya started to play with his PDA.
"And Mori, when Kyoya finds the guitar online, I need you to go to the store and pick it up!"
"What about me, Tama-chan?" Honey was so excited, little pink flowers surrounded his cute face.
"You..." Tamaki struggled to find something for Honey to do. "You...go have some cake."
Honey sat with his stuffed bunny at a dim-lit table in the corner of the room. "It's just us, Usa-chan. Everyone else said they were too busy," he pouted.
"Here, change into this outfit!" the twins held up some clothes for Matt.
"Okay, sure...but can I get some privacy?"
"Hikaru! Kaoru! Let him change in peace," Haruhi grabbed both of the twins by their ears and pulled them out of the dressing room.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! You're hurting us!" the twins whined.
*15 minutes later*
"Are you done changing yet?" the twins asked. The Host Club was waiting outside the changing room.
"For some reason, I feel like I'm experiencing déjà vu or something," Haruhi said.
"Are you sure I can wear this? These clothes are expensive," Matt stepped out of the changing room. Everybody's jaws dropped to the floor and Tamaki started to cry tears of happiness.
"You look like a rock god! So cute, so cute!" Tamaki weeped.
"Wow, you look cool!" Honey smiled.
"Yeah, you look pretty good," Haruhi said.
"We created that masterpiece there!" the twins said proudly.
"Well, we can't have a rock god without his guitar," Kyoya pushed up his glasses as Mori handed Matt a brand new guitar.
"Are you kidding me? This is the limited-edition Sapphire Parker Fly!" Matt was shocked as Mori placed the beautiful guitar in his hands.
"Why? Don't you like it?" Tamaki asked.
"I do, but this guitar is super expensive. I think it's worth more than everything I own combined!" Matt held the guitar in shock.
"It's the least we can do to replace your old guitar," Tamaki said. "Besides, you have potential!"
"I do?" Matt raised an eyebrow.
"Why yes! If you're ever in Ouran, you should consider being a host! Our doors will always be open to you," Tamaki waved his arms enthusiastically.
"The competition's going to start in fifteen minutes. I suggest that we get Matt to his bandmates so that they can practice a little," Kyoya said, scribbling away on a clipboard.
"Oh, that's right! Host Club, assemble!" Tamaki barked. Hikaru and Kaoru hoisted Matt on their shoulders as the rest of the Host Club marched around them. They walked around the school until they found Music Room #1.
"Well, here we are. It's so sad to see you go! You were like the brother I never had," Tamaki sounded as if he was struggling to hold back tears.
"Ignore him," Haruhi rolled her eyes. "Good luck to you." She patted him on the arm.
"Thanks," Matt flashed a smile.
"Rock that auditorium until everyone goes hard!" Kaoru fist-pumped.
"Don't you mean, rock the auditorium hard?" Hikaru raised an eyebrow at his twin.
"Nope, I meant what I said," Kaoru winked mischievously.
"Uhh, thanks?" Matt laughed nervously.
"Matty-chan! Please promise you'll come visit us again soon! Please?" Honey gave Matt puppy eyes.
"Ha ha. Sure thing, senpai," Matt smiled.
Mori simply nodded at him, and Matt nodded back.
"There's a very high chance that your band will win. I've seen concert footage and your band seems to be the best out of all the ones here," Kyoya said.
"You watched my band?" Matt was surprised.
"Well, it's all on the Internet," Kyoya said. "And the Ootori family is sponsoring the event," Kyoya smiled.
Holy crap, did Kyoya just smile? Haruhi thought.
"Thanks, " Matt felt dazed. "Thanks for everything, you guys."
"No problem. Now make us proud out there!" Tamaki pushed Matt into the music room.
As Matt went through the doors, there were no rose petals blowing in his face. The only thing hitting him in the face was the stench of pizza and dirty socks.
"Hey, what took you so long? The competition's going to start soon," Matt's bandmate, Jeremy asked.
"And where did you get that cool guitar?" another bandmate asked.
"Or the cool clothes?"
"It's a long story," Matt said. He opened the door and peeked in the hallway. The Host Club were no longer there. The only thing remaining in the hallway was a trail of rose petals. Matt smiled before he went back inside.
Author's Note: If you enjoyed this story, check out Tai's adventures in Odaiba High Scool Host Club!