Title: Protection
Summary: "No, Brittany, he does not mean a burglar alarm." Ficlet. Kurt tries to explain what exactly his dad means by protection.
Rating: T
Warnings: They say "condoms." Is that worthy of a warning? (Why do I feel like that was the equivalent of a Brittany moment?)
A/N: A very short and spontaneous Gleek moment of mine from right after I saw "Laryngitis." I thought I would share it.
Protection
Kurt stares blankly at Brittany, wondering if it's even possible for her to be this dumb. She is honestly Forrest Gump status sometimes with the stuff she says. Maybe she'll be the real life Forrest. Only instead of running, she'll cheer. And instead of saying "life is like a box of chocolates", she'll say "life is like sex with high school guys; you never know what you're gonna get."
Somehow, he doubts that one will be put on shirts. So, he clears his throat and prepares himself for the conversation ahead.
"No, Brittany," Kurt says, "he does not mean a burglar alarm. He means protection as in contraception."
"What?" she asks. Kurt should've known better than to use big words with her.
"Condoms."
"Oh. Is it a bad thing if you don't use them?" she asks.
"Don't you?"
The look she gives him actually makes him feel stupid. For a second, he feels dumber than Brittany. Then, she speaks.
"I have nowhere to put it, Kurt."
He almost smiles, saying, "The guys wear them and then you're safe. It's like a magical force field."
"That's kind of like what San said about the pill."
"You're on the pill?"
"Duh. I'm not stupid, Kurt."
This time, he does smile.
"'Stupid is as stupid does,'" he recites.
"I don't know what that means," she says.
"You know, neither do I."
Thanks for reading =)
P.S. When you don't review, it makes Brittany sad.