Authors note: This is just something my brain came up with after learning that John Schneider was an extra in the Smokey and the Bandit movie. Seeing as how they are always making 'Burt Reynolds' jokes, and how he played Boss Hogg in the later movie, I just had to do it. Seeing as how the Duke boys, and the bandit, would be hazardous…..
There are a few references to both show and movie here, points to anyone who spots them.
Warning: The warning is placed here for vinsmouse, who wanted a spew warning here, claiming it might be a bad idea to drink while reading the funnier parts. So please keep in mind that drinking any kind of beverage while reading this, might be 'hazzard'ous to the health of your screen.
Big thanks to Earendil Eldar for beta work.
Disclaimer: The Duke Boys are not mine, the names on the football team are either the real ones, or the ones mentioned in the bandit movie. The Steelers did recently win the Super Bowl... I don't own the Duke boys, nor the General Lee. I promise that once I'm through with them, there will be nothing broken that a trip to Cooter's garage can't fix….
Do You See What I See?
"Hey Bo, ya see what I see?" Luke asked as he twisted around in the passenger seat of the car.
"Well, cousin, that would depend on what ya think ya see." Bo grinned. "What I think that I see, is black Trans-Am."
"Funny, that's what I think I see as well." Luke nodded as he again looked at the black car, it appeared to be in a hurry, and if it really was the Bandit, that wasn't really surprising.
"Think he's in trouble again." Bo grinned. Since thy weren't driving the General, having left him at home when they went of to join the Nascar circuit, they could hardly expect him to recognize them. Not in the yellow car they were driving now.
"If it is him, I don't think anything else." Luke grinned. "Lets find out." He grabbed the CB mike. "Breaker, breaker Bandit, this is Lost sheep, over."
He had to repeat the message once before there was an answer to it. "Lost sheep, I thought you two boys were down in Georgia, and had an Orange car." Came the confused voice over the speaker.
Bo chuckled and Luke grinned. "Well, the General's still back home in Hazzard, and we're a yellow car about three cars ahead of ya, what's happening."
"I got the Smokey on my tail, and Snowman took a side track."
Even over the CB they could hear him grin. "What are you two boys doing in Indianapolis anyway?"
"We're here for a bit of sight seeing amongst other things," Luke told him. "Want a hand again?"
"Sure do, you two boys came in mighty handy last time."
"Well, pass us and we'll distract him." Bo told him grabbing the mike from Luke. "Mightn't have Daisy with us, but I'm sure we can come up with something. Then we'll hang on for a bit, might be fun."
"That's a big ten-four." The Bandit passed the yellow car, waving at the two boys in there, noting how they grinned back, the blonde with a mischievous glint in his eye, and a great big cowboy yell. Something's never changed. No doubt the country boys were in town to watch the Indy-500, either that or they were there to watch the football game. Seeing the Colts take on the Steelers, possibly, they were there for both of those events. He did suspect it was their first time in a big city after all.
The Smokey came up behind them, and the two boys sure did act the way you thought two country boys would. Both had their heads out the windows to look at all the sights, and they just happened to be in the way of the Sheriff. The Bandit watched them in his rear view mirror, the two boys put up quite an act, and it took some time for ol' Buford T. Justice too put them in their place.
Once the Sheriff had cursed at them for a bit, Bo took off down a side road to catch up with the bandit further at front.
"Keep an eye out for him." He told Luke as he pressed the accelerator to the floor.
"There he is." Luke had eyed the street running parallel to them and caught sight of him there. "Step on it and we can join him at the next crossing."
"You got it." Bo grinned as he increased the speed even more. Broke a hard right, and then left, he came out on the main street just a few feet in front of the black car, rear end skidding a bit before straightening.
"You handled that well." Bandit congratulated them.
"He still hasn't learned not to mess with the Duke's." Bo grinned as he grabbed the mike again. "Where to now Bandit?"
"We need to lose him, we really need to lose him. I've some old friends here in town, I thought I'd drop by them, want to come along?"
"Lead the way." Bo let out another cowboy holler at the prospect of some serious driving. He allowed the black car to pass, and then hung on tight to the bumper, through twists and turns, and the occasional file shift that wasn't really intended to be done.
"We're heading for the football stadium." Luke finally stated. "He can't seriously be going there."
"He seems quite serious to me." Bo noted with a grin. "Relax Luke, I reckon he knows what he's doing."
Luke fixed him with a stare. "Bo, he's just an overgrown kid who likes to show off."
"So are we." Bo pointed out, "now hang on."
"Give me that." Luke grabbed the mike, he didn't really have to say anything, Bo wasn't holding it, he just said it anyway. "Breaker, breaker, this is Lost sheep here, do you know where ya going?"
"Sure do, Lost sheep."
Luke could almost hear the grin on his face as he spoke.
"Long as ya sure I reckon it's okay." Luke shrugged.
"Don't worry Lost sheep, I've got some good friends here, they'll lend us a hand, over."
"Okay then, we're on ya tail."
"Told ya he knew what he was doing." Bo grinned.
"Not like ya then, scarecrow could drive better."
"Still better than ya self then."
"Wake up and drive."
"Ya got it cousin." Bo stepped down hard on the accelerator. He grinned as he followed the Bandit and the black Trans-Am in through the gate, and down a gate that was obviously not meant for cars. Bo let out a cowboy 'ye-haw' and holler as they ran down a flight of stairs, then they were out on the green grass of the stadium.
"Hey, would ya look at that, they've got a game going." Bo grinned as he saw the boys running around sporting black and gold.
"No kidding, lucky for me I have ya here to tell me that, I would never have figured it out myself." Luke gave him a look that clearly stated that he had figured Bo's intellect to be roughly the same size of a turnip, a small one.
"Cute."
The bandit pulled a brake that also included a 180-degree turn, and Bo imitated the maneuver to stop beside him.
"Those are ya friends?" He called over to the other car.
"Can always count on the Pittsburgh Steelers." Bandit called back. "Trying to get in their way is taking a ride on the Bus, and that is literally."
"I hardly believe this." Luke climbed out to sit on the edge of the door. "It is the Steelers, what are they doing down here?"
"Playing the Colts." The Bandit grinned as he watched one of the fellas come over. "Hey, Brandshaw, want to do me a favor?"
"Buford T. Justice after you again?" The man grinned. "What do you want me to do about it this time?"
"Can you hide me and those two lads there for a short bit?"
The fellow nodded with a big grin. "Well, stow the cars away over there, and then get some shoulder pads on, and we can hide you alright."
Bandit stood up and looked over the other care with the two boys peeking out through the windows. "You heard that boys, you're gonna have the time of your life." Then he slipped down and took off, hiding his car behind the busses belonging to the team. Bo pulled over right beside them.
"So, these are ya friends then?" Luke asked as they pulled on shoulder pads and helmets, enough to make them fit in if someone cast a quick glance at the team.
"Oh yeah." Bandit grinned. "Can always count on them. Brandshaw's had his own number of run ins with that Smokey, so he won't mind to help out. Now, you two know anything about football, else we're not going to fit in."
"We know a bit." Bo grinned.
"And then some." Luke added, they had booth played for the Hazzard High School football team before graduation. He had done well enough, and Bo could most likely have gotten a scholar ship if he had wanted to go for that.
The three of them ran out on the field, and it was just in time. The Smokey came rattling down the stairs and tore up the grass as he scrutinized the players.
"Don't give us away now." Bandit hissed as he glanced towards the police car. It was beginning to look a bit battered here and there.
"Don't worry." Bo beamed as he kicked the ball, Luke ran over and intercepted the pass, and once more Bandit found himself laughing.
"Those boys ain't half bad." Brandshaw shook his head as he looked at them. "Where did you pick them up?"
"In town." Bandit threw a pass of his own. "Ran into them once in Georgia once before though. That blonde haired kid there sure can drive, almost as good as me."
"That's good then." Brandshaw grinned as he watched the Smokey drive around one more turn. "Though if they're from down in Georgia, then what are they doing here?"
"I reckon they here to watch the Indy 500." Bandit turned around. "What's that Smokey doing now?"
It seemed that Buford T. Justice had seen something that had arouse his suspicion, for he was taking a closer look, and he had sent his son Junior to check it out.
"I think he's taking a ride on the Bus, look there." Brandshaw grinned as they watched. Junior was running full on, and so was the Bus, and Junior didn't stand a chance against the Bus. He wasn't the biggest football player, but Junior took of flight as he encountered him.
"Oh, great, we have to get out of here fast." Bandit clapped his friend on his shoulder. "Take care buddy, we're out of here." He took of running towards his car, throwing off the helmet and shoulder pads. "Hey boys, we gotta head out, now." He called towards the other two boys.
Luke being the closest sprinted for their car and climbed in through the drivers side, even if the doors did open on this car, he jumped in through the window for the sake of speed.
Bo came running from the other side of the field, but as he headed towards him to pick him up, Luke had to dodge the Smokey.
"Aw, dang. I ain't gonna be able to catch him." Bo to had discarded the helmet and the shoulder pads, but now he was afraid he would be left behind. He dodged, but even as he took of to the right, the Smokey forced Luke to dodge to the left. Then he shone up as he thought of something. "Ya guys think ya all can throw something bit heavier than a football?"
"Oh yeah, sure as heck we can." The grin on the football players face was one of the biggest ones that had ever been seen.
Said and done, the next time Luke dodged, Bo went flying, and landed on the roof of the car with a loud thud. Nimbly sliding himself in through the window. As he sank down in the seat Luke turned to look at him, shaking his head. "Show off," he said.
"What?" Bo frowned. "Ya didn't pick me up, what was I supposed to do back there?"
Then they were tearing out of the stadium to the sound of honking horns as all the cars had to step on the brakes and dodge out of their way.
"See there," Bandit called over the CB. "That's the kind of playing that's gonna win them they Super Bowl, and they will, I'm telling you. Thos boys are going to take home the Super Bowl."
"Way that fellow plays, I'm more surprised they just ain't done it yet." Bo called back.
"I reckon the Buss just waiting for the right time, now, how bout we lose this here a Smokey now?"
"Ya got it. Great spot for it down by the race track, if ya up to a bit of a jump." Luke said as he grabbed the mike from his cousin.
"I knew you boys were here to watch the Indy-500."
Bo grabbed the mike back. "Watching, gonna be doing more than watching, I can tell ya that. I'm gonna be winning that dang thing."
"You racing?" The Bandit hoped that his surprised expression didn't carry across as well as his surprised tone did.
"Course we are, joined up with the Nascar circuit." Bo informed him. "Now, there's a ramp there, sorta lets us jump across, and if he can't jump it. Then y'all will be miles away before he can get around it all."
"Sounds perfect, lead the way." The Bandit took up tail position, it was an amazing jump, he had to give them that. They most likely could win the big race as well. He didn't doubt them anymore than he doubted the Steelers, and Buford T. Justice sure couldn't take the jump. He near turned his car into a folding piece as he tried it.
"That was some great fun boys." Bandit called as he headed for the highway. "Have a good time now, and make sure ya win that there race."
"Ya got it. Keep it tween the ditches now." Bo grinned, and finished off with a trademark cowboy holler.
"That's a big ten-four, and the same to you. I'll see ya some other time. Bandit, over and out."
As they watched him disappear Bo turned to Luke. "Well, that was really funny, but what do we do now?"
The End
Thank you all for reading, I will do my best to respond to all signed reviews, Elenhin