Be nice to me, I haven't written anything in a while.
There was something magical in the air at this campus. There was a tragic sort of beauty in every north face backpack and pair of boat shoes she could see. It was August at Washington University, and Kensi could see the proof of it in the fraternity boy's khaki shorts and white polo shirts. She liked the rolling hills of the campus, the buzz of bugs in the air, the sun over the library, the fact that she didn't recognize anyone in the crowd of freshmen around her.
She clutches the strap of her backpack tighter to her shoulder. It was her father's old military backpack. It hurts just as much as she expected it to. She drags her suitcase over to a woman in a green t-shirt that said, "ask me anything!". She smiles widely at Kensi and holds out a pamphlet that Kensi ignores.
"Can you tell me how to get to the Clark building?" She asks.
The woman points dramatically to the left, towards a building with glass paneling on the side. "Right there! What dorm are you staying in, sweetie?"
"I'm not staying in the dorms." She answers. She makes sure to answer with just enough to venom to correct the woman's use of pet names with total strangers.
"Wow, living off campus as a freshman. That's very exciting." The woman says to Kensi's back. She was already walking away, swinging the backpack over her shoulder and pushing through the crowd. Kensi didn't like talking to strangers in general, but trying to explain her complicated back story and living situation with an overexcited campus tour guide seemed much to complicated for her first day at her new university.
Kensi regrets the conversation already. She regrets most things about this day, including using her father's bag as a school backpack. And this outfit. She looks down at it, disgusted. Jeans and a baggy men's t-shirt. This was Washington DC! She wasn't a military brat anymore. She needs to look like she belonged at this fancy university. She needs to look like something other than a scholarship kid.
She vows to force herself to go shopping tomorrow, but for now, she shoulders the door open to her classroom and trips over someone just on the other side.
"Jesus fucking Christ." The boy says, and holds out his arms to catch her as she trips over his backpack. She leaps out of his arms and stands back annoyed. She adjusts her shirt. She adjusts her backpack. She adjusts her frantic heart.
"Watch where you're standing next time." Kensi says to the boy. He looks startled at her. Perhaps because she flew through a doorway and tripped over him. Perhaps because her mascara is still smeared from her earlier tears.
The boy recovers before she can walk away. "Watch where you're walking." He says with very little venom. He pushes his long blonde hair out of his eyes. She sees a flash of brilliant blue and remembers the boy who invited her out to watch the Titanic movie. That boy had eyes like that—that shade of blue that made everything hurt. Kensi can't remember his name: James, Jason, Jackson?
The boy reaches out and touches her arm. "Hey. Are you okay? I'm actually sorry." He reaches out like he's going to touch her arm and then stops and tucks his fingers into his sleeves. Kensi can't stop the flinch away from him. She prays he doesn't notice.
"I'm fine." She says. She turns away sharply and sits in the closest chair.
"Wait, wait." He chases after her. "What's your name? I'm Deeks."
She could say, nice to meet you or maybe, my name is Kensi. But he saw her upset and this angers her. She hates it when she starts thinking of the past. She survived it; that should be enough. "What kind of name is Deeks?"
He flashes a sideways smile. He opens his mouth to answer—she is expecting sass—but before he can say anything, the professor interrupts him.
"Hello class. My name is Professor Thompson and I will be teaching Introduction to Psychology. This class will consist mostly of participation points so attendance is necessary. There will be no tests, quizzes or homework so this is a great start-up class for all of you freshmen that are just starting out." The professor smiles at the class as if he loved all of them already. Kensi almost smiles back. His enthusiasm is almost infectious; she feels inspired for the first time all day.
And it keeps getting better from there on out.
Kensi meets a nice girl in her sociology class by the name of Nell. There's two boys in her writing class that invited her to the barbeque for the new students on Friday. And not one of her professors assigned homework for that night. Still, by seven pm that night, Kensi is exhausted and ready for sleep. She walks from her last class back to her apartment off of Lake Street alone. She starts to sing, My Heart Will Go On to fill the silence, and then hates herself passionately for it. She hasn't thought about that movie, hasn't allowed herself to think about that movie, in quite a few years now, but the boy with the blue eyes has brought it all back.
Fuck him and his stupid blue eyes. Fuck him and his stupid backpack in her way. She kicks open the door to her apartment as if that will make her feel better. Violence only makes her feel good until the guilt sets in.
It just makes her foot hurt.
The next few days go smoothly for Kensi. She attends every class and takes perfect notes. She studies every night and reads the chapters she has been assigns. She talks to Nell a few times and exchanges phone numbers so they can hang out during the weekends. She attends the new student barbeque with the two boys from her English class: Callen and Sam. They roast smores together and then Sam carries Kensi around on his shoulders when they dance around the campfire. Kensi hasn't laughed so much in years.
She has fun.
She plans to set Nell up with Callen.
She avoids Deeks.
However, Kensi is known for her bad luck, and her plan to avoid the annoying boy in her psychology class only succeeds for a few days before she runs into him again—not literally this time.
Its Friday, and she's planning on attending a party with Nell tonight. She went shopping on Tuesday and she has a new black dress to wear. She's contemplating wearing flats or her normal combat boots when she hears the cheering.
There's a crowd in the courtyard in front of Johnson Hall. There's the low bass of "fight, fight, fight" and the screaming of frightened girls. Kensi shoves through to the front of the crowd.
Its two boys.
There's no fun here. They seem to be fighting to kill. The crowd should stop cheering and start pulling them apart or the cops will be called. The boys fight fast, sling low and hard for the face; dirty punches for the ears and the throat. There's blood on the ground at their feet; blood dripping off the dark haired boy's nose; blood on the blonde's white t-shirt.
Kensi doesn't think that she knows either of them; the dark haired boy has to be nearly seven feet tall and she doesn't recognize him from any of her classes. She doesn't think she knows the blonde kid either: he's shorter and scrappier and his hair keeps falling across his face.
Then she sees the flash of blue.
"Fuck." She whispers, although its drowned out from the cheers. She doesn't care, she doesn't care, she shouldn't care, but she knows that the cops are on the way because there's two people on the edges of the crowd with cell phones pressed to their ears, rattling into the mouthpiece with panic on their lips.
If she doesn't stop this, the police will.
Kensi takes a deep breath and darts into the middle of the circle.
It falls silent and time slows. She can see the swing of each fist. She dodges the brunettes fist, and grabs the boy's arm before he can swing again. It would be easier to hit him to take him down, but she has some honor, and attacking an unprepared man is not what her father taught her. She turns his arm back behind his back and drags him away from Deeks. He's tall and heavy but he's not expecting her so he's easy to move. He stumbles back with her.
Deeks is staring at her in dazed amazement from four feet away. Already the crowd is dispersing away from the broken excitement, mumbling about kill joy little girls. Kensi drops the brunette's arms and backs away with hands in the air before he can kill her.
The brunette stares at the both of them, standing side by side, and shakes his head in disappointment before storming away himself. He ducks into the crowd and starts moving away from the police sirens in the distance. Kensi grabs Deeks' arm and drags him into the closet building and into the men's restroom. She starts inspecting his face. He says nothing.
He just stares.
He's bleeding from his nose and a cut on his right temple. She starts to clean his face up with a wet paper towel.
"You don't need stitches. And your nose isn't broken." Kensi throws the towel away and turns away from him. She needs to make better choices in the future so that she always doesn't regret every move she makes. "You're very lucky." She tells him, halfway out the door, making plans to switch schools so she doesn't have to look at this boy's blue eyes anymore. He can't seem to stop staring into her soul.
She could transfer to Towsend, they have a great criminology program. Maybe Harvard. Maybe—
Deeks stands up and crosses the narrow space to stand in front of her. He looks at her; he looks at her lips; he looks and his fingers are wrapped around her wrist. If it was anyone else. If she was anyone else. If her father hadn't died. If she didn't cry every morning. If she wasn't so fucking damaged. She would assume that he was going to kiss her, but boys don't want her. Boys don't want damaged goods.
In a way she's right.
Deeks doesn't kiss her. He's six inches away from her but he doesn't lean towards her lips. He just looks and looks and looks and then asks: "Can you please tell me your name now?"
Kensi is so close to crying she bursts into laugher. "Yeah." She laughs some more. A few years pass. A few more. "Kensi."
Okay, so what did you think? I know its short. Review?