(Note: Hikaru no Go is not mine, but the wonderful works of Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata. Comments will be appreciated. Thanks!)

One Wish of Understanding

Chapter One: A Father's Pride

Akira stared at the ground. Over the past few days, he just can get this new and unmistakable thought out of his mind. He didn't know why, or what brought up this thought, but he couldn't stop thinking . . . Is there something more in life?

Being pretty much secluded in his own mind all his life, he always had a longing for someone who truly understood him. His father seemed to judge him. The people around him, even for the most part his friends referred to him as Akira-Sensei.He shunned himself for even thinking that. I have so many things that others do not, why do I think such a thing? He sighed and kicked a rock into the gutter. That longing of a true and fully understanding friend seemed too perfect to even exist in Akira's world. He had all of the people who respected him, and he considered them as friends, but they never knew truly what was really going on in his heart. That's the one thing he wanted, and if only . . .

Finally reaching home, he walked inside and sat down on a nearby chair by the dining room table. The look of longing and heartfelt pain reflected in his electric green eyes.

"Akira-Chan? What is on your mind? Did you have a bad day?" His mother asked gently, aware of how easily Akira can be set off.

"Nothing is wrong, Mother. Just a little lost in thought," Akira replied with a weak smile.

He wished nothing was wrong. This loneliness was driving him crazy; his own thoughts were destroying him once again. He had a short conversation with his mother and ran upstairs to study. Of course, his schoolwork didn't take too long, but then until his father came home he studied further and further of Go. He emptied his mind of all his problems except for the Go board. Doing this daily, he learned quickly how to shut the world out, nearly entranced in his study and game. His father silently walked in.

"Akira, I see you're working at it again," he said blankly, carefully examining the board.

Akira's muscles suddenly tensed up as he now felt the full presence of his father. Again, he felt like he had to be perfect around him, like his father was judging him every second he was around. Akira used to be less tense around his father until he became a professional. Then, he didn't feel like a father, but a teacher, constantly judging and critiquing. Of course, his father didn't feel that way, but as his son grew up, they both spread further apart. It was like they knew each other thoroughly, but no affections were present.

"Reviewing old games again . . ." his father said again, his tone was so empty Akira couldn't tell if he was being praised or criticized.

"Could we play a game, possibly?" Akira asked meekly, his head low.

His father simply nodded, and they started a game.

Akira had been steadily improving all his life, and it was his goal to keep moving forward. Every day he would play his father, and every day he would become slightly stronger. It was his goal to beat his father someday, and become the next Meijin. Until lately, he didn't want to care about how others perceived him. He just was focused on moving forward.

The games used to be teaching games from Kouyo, Akira's father. They still were, but each time he slowly progressed higher. It was ever so slight, but as Akira had wished, he was moving forward again and again.

After the game was over, Kouyo nodded again and said, "Getting better."

Again, Akira didn't know if this was either a congratulation or just saying that Akira was but only mediocre. It used to be his life to try to please his father, but now it felt so hopeless that he seemed to want to give in.

His father's opinion counted more than anyone's, even his closest of friends, and even his mother's. It was a toil just to make his father proud, yet it appeared that all his efforts failed. Akira was always disappointed by this, yet it led him to another level, it lead him onward. Determination gleamed in his eyes after every time his father beat him, and many thoughts raced through his mind. Kouyo was aware of this, and even though he never showed it, he was very proud of his son.