The Goddess is a Part-Timer! Chapter 1: Welcome to MDonald's!, a noragami/ノラガミ fanfic

~Announcement~

Hey guys! This is my first Noragami fanfic! It's gonna have fangirling gods, fast food managers, and...ANIME MARATHON FRIDAYS! So yeah. That's about it. Also at the end of each chapter or so I'll put a fun fact about the fanfic! Just be VERY aware that the 3rd Person POV's Narrator (courtesy of ERICA! pls read my other fanfic to get what's up) will make MANY ANIME REFERENCES due to the main character being an otaku and since Erica lives with an otaku asshole and a rookie otaku that takes after the otaku asshole. Also Erica is my third person POV, while otaku asshole is the first person. Otaku rookie...is just there. Always there.

Disclaimer: I don't own Noragami or else it would've been DORAGAMI! Get it?! Dora...Nora...black hair...Okay...

Warning: If you got this far, you'll know what's gonna happen. AND NOT DORA! OH GOD NOT DORAAA!

"Welcome to M*Donald's! Would you like to try our limited edition Oreo Mint M*Flurry?" A brown-haired girl cheerfully said, while the random woman in the line that you're never going to see ever again decides in this random McDonalds in Akihabara. Whoops, forgot the censor. Lemme try again.

~500 TRIES LATER~

"Yes! Can I take two of the M*Flurry, four water cups, four #5 combos with extra cheese, and three Breakfast Burgers with regular buns not the sourdough bread? Also add in two BBQ sauces and six empty sauce containers with mayo on the side for...my kids! Yeah! My six kids that are all male and hot! Yeah!" I call that the woman is having a harem! The green-eyed girl working the cashier slammed her hands on the counter, looking sex craved.

"You have...SIX HOT KIDS? CAN I...MEET THEM?" Sigh. The-You know what, I'm just gonna introduce her now. Her name's Hiroki Murasakino, a part-timer at the hottest M*Donald's in Akihabara, with brown hair and purple streaks, complimenting her deep forest green eyes, making her look like the walking human bunch of grape. Living in Akihabara, she is also very fond of anime and manga, designating Anime Marathon Fridays, Window Shopping Wednesday, and Thrift Store Thursdays. Hiroki also lives with two hot men she calls for herself, which she is planning to use them in her own 30+ men harem. Since their names will not be revealed til later own for PLOT! I shall use the labels "The Kuudere" and "The Italy" for them. If you do not know who Italy is, then...Ahem. Enough internal monologue. Back to the story.

"I mean, that order is $30.75! It'll be ready in twenty minutes! Next in line!" Ringing up the order and putting in the change, the next customers stepped in line. Three girls, one with a blue, another with a green, and one with a pink scarf, each dressed heavily for the winter.

"Welcome to M*Donald's! Would you like to try our limited edition Oreo Mint M*Flurry?"

"No, we're good! I would like a hot coffee, heavy on the sugar, and she'd like a fountain drink! Hiyori, what do you want?" Hiyori, still deciding, sighed and ordered a plain hot chocolate, no foam. Hiroki smiled and ringed up their order, giving them the receipt.

"That'll be $7.58! Here's your cup and your order will be ready in two minutes! Next in line!" After the girls got their order, like everything, they left and walked out the fast food joint to a calmer area. Sigh. This will take a while. TIMESKIP!

~TIMESKIP TO 1~2 HOURS LATER~

"Order #875! I repeat, Order #875! The one with the two Breakfast Brisket and one black coffee, no cream, heavy on the sugar! Please come up! Here's your tray, and your napkins...Thanks for coming!" As Hiroki gave her last customer their order before Breakfast Hour was over, she spots a guy that entered the place, shouting "Milord!" She decided to help the guy, since Hiroki thought he might've been a mentally ill homeless person. A HOT mentally ill homeless person.

"Rina, can you take my place? I'll be back in five!" Her co-worker nodded, and Hiroki left the counter and approached the HOT mentally ill homeless person.

"Hey, are you okay? Should I guide you back to the streets? I'll even throw in a free burger and drink!" The HOT mentally ill homeless person stopped shouting, looked at her, blinked multiple times, and stared at her in awe. Hiroki thought the guy was HOT, but backed away, since she didn't want him to have a chance at groping her.

"Yo-You can see me? You can see me?! You can...see me?!" The HOT mentally ill homeless person was waving frantically in front of Hiroki, who was annoyed but is being nice since he IS HOT and MENTALLY ILL and HOMELESS.

"Yes! Everyone can see you! You're a human! A person! Look, you might have a family line of mentally ill people, so I'm just going to let you go, okay? Hell, I'll give you a free meal, but don't come crawling back here for more!" The HOT mentally ill homeless person then sparkled like Armstrong and became less hot, much to Hiroki's dismay.

"You can see ME!~ YOU can SEE MEE!~ YOU CAN SEEE-OOMPH!" Th-Sigh. I'm just gonna call him HMIHP. Anyways, the HMIHP got bonked on the head by an annoyed Hiroki, and she regretted it.

"Sorry! I..I just got out of control! Just tell me what you want and I'll give you a free meal too! Sheesh, just like Tamaki..."

"I'm searching for this cat, Milord! Have you seen him?" Hiroki looked at the poster of the sweet kitten with England's eyebrows, then shook her head.

"Nope, sorry dude. Just..Just stay here and I'll get you something!" Hiroki power-walked back to the counter into the kitchen, getting fries and a burger as fast as she can. While doing that, Hiroki got burned at the fryer and sauce on her arm. Cursing under her breath, she stuffed it into a bag with napkins and sauces, then getting a fountain drink for the guy. Almost spilling the drink while putting the top on, Hiroki stabbed in the straw and gave the meal to the guy.

"Uh...Thankyousomuch! Thank you! Ishallbegoingnow!" The guy had tears in his eyes when he dashed out, and Hiromi felt good, but still bad since she bonked him on the head. When she returned to her post, Rina was questioning why Hiroki was standing in the middle of the fast food joint talking to herself, and Hiroki brushed it off, not wanting to cause trouble. Ugh, I can't do this anymore! Narrator, take over! I'm manning the place! (Fine, MOM.)

~AFTER WORK~

(1ST PERSON POV)

"Great work Hiroki! Remember to come early tomorrow!" My manger slapped my butt, which startled me a bit, making me curse loudly. Her name's Moko, and we're pretty close, despite not hanging out after work. She's a full time manager, of course, while I'm a part-timer working my way to the top! She reminds me of Madam Red and a bubbly airhead, minus the obsession of wearing red clothes all the time and acting like a klutz 24/7.

"Yeah, sure! See you tomorrow!" I grinned as I put away my uniform and name tag in my section, taking out my wallet and phone. I was about to walk out the back door until Moko tugged my sleeve, smugly smiling. I have a bad feeling about this...

"Here's some things you need for tonight with your...'roommates.' Have fun!~" I looked inside my purse and saw that Moko slipped in some condoms and sex toys. I stared at her in shock and punched her shoulder, flustered and angry.

"Moko! I already told you, my roommates are just roommates! We're nothing more! This is the 257th time you've done this! Fucking hell, man!" I took all the questionable things and shoved it on Moko. To be honest, after working here for about two years, I've NEVER asked Moko where she got the condoms and shit from. Actually, I'm better off not knowing.

"Humph! It's tiring seeing you deny every single time! Fine, I'll return these back to my husband's friend, ONCE AGAIN!~" Moko pouted as she shoved the items that can be used in Diabolik Lovers (better than Twilight!) in a shopping bag. Wait what? She gets these not from a pharmacy or a sex toy store but her husband's FRIEND?! Hold up, I thought she had a BOYFRIEND!

"Wait what the actual hell?! Didn't you have a BOYFRIEND just TWO MONTHS AGO?! AND HOW DOES YOUR HUSBAND'S FRIEND HAVE KINKY STUFF?!"

"Well...We got married! Yay! I'm surprised that I didn't tell you! Hehe!~"

"YOU'RE STILL NOT ANSWERING MY QUESTION! Whatever! I'm going now!" I jogged out the back door leaving Moko in her wedding fantasies. Zipping up my jacket, I ran back to my apartment, which was a mere five blocks away. But wait! Lookie! I see wall scrolls on sale! 50% OFF!~

~TIMESKIP TO 45 MINUTES LATER~

"Where the hell were YOU, HIROKI?! WE'RE STARVING!~" One of the idiotic people I room with squeezed my leg as soon as I took off my shoes, whining his little ass off. I sighed and tried to shake him off, but I ended up falling on the floor. Getting up, I tried to walk to my room with the whining boy still holding on to my leg. As I got in the hallway, another idiot popped up, from the bathroom, dripping wet with hotn-I mean, dripping wet with sexyn-I mean, ugh! Fine! Earlier when I was defending myself from Moko that wasn't true! I'm attracted to these idiots more and more everyday! The sad part? They know and they don't give a fuck. Well, I mean, it's not like we can get in a relationship anyways!

"Natsu! Get off of Hiroki! Jeez, how many times do I have to tell you?..." The shirtless idiot scowled as he went into the room he shares with Natsu, which is short for Nakatsu. Slamming the door, Natsu jumped and I went into my room, putting my Black Butler wall scrolls I bought next to the dresser.

"Humph! Nourin-Chan you're so mean!~" Natsu calls the tsundere idiot Nourin-Chan instead of Rin because both Nourin and Rin are girly names. I flopped on my bed as I eavesdrop on them arguing, with only a door separating each other. After lying down for several minutes, I got up and went to the kitchen to reheat some curry in the pot and cook spicy cucumbers with pork, along with some side dishes. I'm the only one here that can cook at least a decent meal, so they always wait for me to get off at 3:30 to eat dinner, even though I make lunch for them to reheat and pastries I bought from the local bakery the day before at 8. They both don't have jobs, making it harder for me to pay the bills, rent, and provide enough for all of us. Luckily I work overtime every once in a while so I get a bigger paycheck.

"Hiroki-Chan! Nourin-Chan hit me on the head!~" I turned and see a pissed Rin and a bruised Natsu.

"Can you get this pest away from me for at least an hour?! He keeps trying to glomp me!" I sighed and kicked both of them in the shin, with a knife in hand from cutting the cucumbers.

"Natsu, Rin, no matter how much I love you guys you need to stop behaving this way! Rin, open up more and be nice! Natsu, leave Rin alone for at least ten minutes! In the meantime, Natsu can help with cooking and Rin can set up the table and take out the trash! Understood?" Going all Izumi Curtis, Natsu and Rin gulped and nodded. I opened a drawer and got out some ointment and bandages for Natsu. I tossed them to the Italy-like boy and resumed cutting the cucumbers. No matter how crazy I am, after a day of trying to be cheerful and nice to strangers that sometimes are assholes I become an asshole. One complaint equals one angry motherfucker.

~TIMESKIP TO DINNERTIME~

Placing down the last dish, which was Rin's favorite salmon with leeks, I sighed and sat down, saying 'ikadakimasu' with Natsu and Rin. After fifteen minutes of silent eating, Rin spoke up.

"Hiroki, when are we going to hunt?"

"I don't know. Sunset again? Maybe at 6. Yeah, 6. But this time until 9." I said that as I chewed on pork, and Rin and Natsu stared at me wide-eyed, and Natsu took a spit-take out of his Coke.

"9?! Are you crazy?! That's a long time!"

"Mhm! Nourin-Chan is right! We can't go for that long!"

"You can! Last time we went over two hours and thirty minutes! If we can do that, then we can do this! Tell you what, after we do that I'll take off work early tomorrow and we'll buy KF* and...go to anywhere you guys desire! Okay? Lucky for you I'm getting my paycheck tomorrow! I still have 75,890 yen in my piggy bank!" I tried to make it sound as convincing as I can, with fried chicken and money. I really wanted to go over our usual time because I want to help that poor HOT homeless mentally ill guy find his cat, Milord. I mean, that cat...I want it! I want it and rename it England!

"Sigh. Hiroki, you can't keep bribing us with fried chicken and money! We have human stamina that can go nonstop, but if you think about our fatigue, three hours already makes us sleep right on the spot!" My lip quivered as I tried to think of something. I can't tell them about that cat! No! If I don't, the cat with FABU eyebrows will be eaten! I have to!

"I just really...want to find this cat that belongs to a HOTmentallyillhomelessperson!" Okay, so the last part was totally no worth saying, but damn! His eyes are fine! Fine eyes! Ey-Ahem. Sorry.

"A cat? A kitten?"

"Hot...Mentally ill...Homeless?..."

"Okay, so the last part wasn't important! But today that guy entered M*Donald's shouting 'Milord!' and I felt really bad! Please?" They stared at me with confusion and conflict as I pouted and whined a bit.

"Sigh. Fine. If it's a cat that's worthy of noting."

"Only if you love me more than the hot homeless guy!~" I grinned and hugged them both over the table, taking Rin by surprise and Natsu squeezing us even more.

"Natsu, I'll always love you more than a random HOT stranger! Rin, if we find the cat, I'll find a way to let the HOT guy give the cat to you!" So...what I said was more wrong than anything else that I'll say in my entire life.

~TIMESKIP TO 2 HOURS LATER~

I take off my mask I wear while hunting and stare at the bright city from a skyscraper's rooftop with Natsu and Rin, scanning the area for Phantoms and Milord.

"You see Milord?"

"Nope. You're going to advertise again, aren't you?" I look at Rin guiltily, holding purple spray paint in my hand. Spraying the last part of the advertisement, I quickly put the spray paint in the holster I have around my leggings. The advertisement says:

NEED FRESH FRIES? OR WATER PIPE REPAIRS?

CALL GODDESS ARUOMOICHA! 090-626-1031

"Sigh. You need to stop advertising. You already have a job and I'm starting to find a job again. Also, you might get fined for graffiti." I pouted and sighed, kicking a stray pebble off the building.

"Fine. Sigh. But we really need the money. And...I'm afraid you'll be used like last time." Rin was being used as a tool at his last job that he quit 15 years ago. Natsu had many jobs, being a baker at 85 Degrees Celsius, but got fired at all of his jobs from being either too clumsy or distracted at times. Ever since their horrible experiences, I forced them not to get jobs and just tend to our apartment, the regular stuff.

"I won't be. I have something I want to tell you. I-"

"Hiroki-Chan!~ I see a Phantom!~" Being cut off by a grinning Natsu, Rin clicked his tongue and starts to pinpoint the Phantom's location. I put on my mask and counted down.

"Phantom seems to look like a frog. Frog is running towards the suburbs. Ready in-"

"Three...Two...One! Nakatsu! Nourin! Go!" A combination of purple and green glows came from Rin and Natsu, turning them into my personalized holographic guns that also are boomer-blades, blades that act as boomerangs. Natsu, being the smaller one, is gripped in my left hand, and Rin as the bigger one in my right. Following the Frog Phantom, I jumped from one rooftop to the next, trying to catch up. Several minutes later it spotted me, jumping up an apartment complex. Its tongue came out, trying to eat me. I dodged it and ended up slipping, falling off. In air, I adjusted myself and pointed Natsu and Rin to the ground, shooting at the pavement, trying to keep me from sustaining heavy injuries. Just seconds from the ground, I eyed a fire ladder on the side of the building. I quickly extended my leg, getting my foot caught on the ladder. Unluckily I banged my head, which made me drop Natsu and Rin.

"Fuck! Sorry guys! I'm gonna grab you in a sec!" I could hear Natsu whining about his poor head and Rin cursing under his breath as I got my foot out of the ladder. Jumping down, I grabbed them, and looked up to see the Frog Phantom. Well shit.

"Fuckkkkk! Run bitches!"

"We're in your sweaty ass hands, idiot!"

"Well I'm sorry that I'm nervous while being chased by a Phantom!" I ran in a zigag pattern, trying to confuse it. Not long later, we reached the suburbs. Not wanting to disturb anyone in their houses, I ran straight for an empty lot. Sliding on the cement, I readied Natsu and Rin. The Phantom roared, which sounded more like a bull frog's mating call to me. I started shooting bullets in its mouth, piercing the tongue and sides. It roared louder and hopped. I side-stepped to avoid getting squished, resulting in me getting a slight cut. I hissed, and ran to buy me some time after I got the cut. Not running very far, I ended up in a cabbage field. Why is their a cabbage field here?! Anyways, I started picking up cabbages to throw into its mouth so I can kill it, but it swallows the cabbages too fast for me to shoot.

"Guys, do you think that you can penetrate the mouth while it swallows the cabbages?"

"We can try!"

"Good! Cause I have a plan! Natsu, prepare to be on Boomer-Blade Mode! Rin, give it all you've got!" Natsu glowed a dim green, slowly turning into a Boomer-Blade. Grasping Natsu so hard I cut my hand, I stabbed Natsu in a rotting cabbage, preparing to throw him into the Phantom's mouth. I threw the cabbage, with Natsu in the front, ready to pierce. While Natsu was floating in the air with the cabbage, someone intervened, kicking the Phantom. When the cabbage hit the Phantom on the side, it roared loudly. I looked to see a girl with a pink scarf yelling 'Jungle Savate!,' and the HOT mentally ill homeless person carrying Milord with her. What the hell?...

"Nakatsu! Release!" Natsu came back to me, now in human form. I decided to have Rin still in hand, in case if they attack. The Phantom is still attacking them as the unexpected guests run in my direction. I leaped forward, landing on its face. Trying to shake me off, I started shooting the eyes. I tried to hold on by calling Natsu back again, Boomer-Blade Mode. Stabbing the left eye, I maneuver around it, stabbing it each time I move. Once I got close to the mouth, I called Rin to Boomer-Blade Mode too, and entered the mouth. Because of the stink, I held my breath and tried to run further inside, slicing the gums. The tongue tried to stick to me, and I cut it off with Rin. When I got near the end, I put both of my Regalias in front, penetrating the Phantom. Exiting it, I made a dramatic pose as it disappears behind me. Covered in goop and what smells like barf, I saw the girl and HOT guy staring at me. Shit.

"You...Killed it..." I brushed off some of the goop, and called Natsu and Rin to their human forms. Standing proudly, I took off the mask since I was almost suffocating. The guy looked surprised to see my face, and the girl was already surprised. I'm pretty sure the girl is Half-Phantom, and the guy might be the same, but he smells different. Like the REALLY good kind of different. Even from several yards away, I could smell it. He smells like...Actually, I can't describe it. It smells really good but was indescribable. Anyways, I approached him and made the worst impression I made in 357 years.

"Hell yeah I killed it, Mister HOT guy that I talked to that might be mentally ill and homeless! I see you found your kitty cat! Hello, cutie-pie! Aren't you a little fucker, England?..." I was somehow holding Milord right now, and he nipped my finger, making me curse in front of them. The girl was sweatdropping as the HOT guy was awkwardly trying to take Milord from my hands. Without hesitation, I gave Milord back to the HOT guy, afraid that Milord would bite off my precious middle fingers that I flip people off of. Rin pulled me close to him, with Natsu standing by his side, glaring at the girl and the HOT guy.

"Who are you? Why did you interfere?" Dammit, Rin, you're gonna get goop and who-knows-what over you! I don't want you hogging the shower when we get home!

"You haven't heard of me, the GREAT GOD YATO?! Really, I should advertise in more public places.. Anyways, this is Hiyori Iki, a Half-Phantom, and this is Milord a missing cat!" Rin held me tighter, and Natsu bawled his hands into fists. Why are they so skeptical of the guys anyways?! And...I KNEW IT! THE GIRL'S A HALF-PHANTOM! I removed Rin's arm that was around my waist as his eyes widened in fear.

"Hiroki, don't! What if they're dangerous?!" I flipped him off with both fingers, rolling my eyes. Sheesh, can't a goddess otaku live without over-protective bodyguards? I guess not...

"Rin, stop being so over-protective. If I die I'll just be reborn again. Nothing personal. Anyways, sorry about Rin. He can get a little over-protective with meeting strangers along with Natsu. My human name's Hiroki Murasakino, but I'm better known as Aruomoicha, the goddess of alcohol and toys!" As I did my magnificent pose with Rin and Natsu despite them sweatdropping, Yato and Hiyori stared at us blankly. We held the pose for a few seconds until it got awkward and Rin cleared his throat, which is our cue to stop.

"You...Haven't heard of the great and almighty Aruomoicha? Jeez, maybe I should make my own anime instead..."

"Aruomoicha, you have two Regalias?" I stood proudly and hugged Rin and Natsu.

"Yep! It's rare for an unknown goddess like me to have two Regalias, but hey! They're my finest addition to my 30+ harem! The kuudere, AKA Rin, and the Italy, AKA Natsu! And lemme tell you, their abs are the absolute highest quality I can find! Look at it! Touch it if you will! It's stone cold solid!" I held up both of their shirts so I can display their FABULOUS abs and of course touch them. Yato seemed interested and Hiyori was blushing. Hah, a high school girl like her brings me back to my days when I was first looking for my harem of 30+ men!

"Hiroki, our shirts?..."

"Oh yes! Sorry about that, you two! Anyways, do you have a question for the AWESOME goddess?"

"Can I borrow one of your Regalias? I recently rel-FIRED my own, so I'm in a desperate situation! Please!" I thought about giving either Rin or Natsu, but...I know! I clapped my hands and danced around, humming the opening of Black Butler.

"Okay! But on one condition: You have to join my harem!"

~Author's Note~

Yay! Finished writing this! I'll try to post a chapter every 2 weeks or once a month since I have other fanfics going on and I'm still in school. I know I know. What an awful name for an OC goddess! Hiroki is a brand of alcohol and Murasakino means purple, and Aruomoicha is a blend between words aru ko haru (alcohol) and omoicha (toy)! Yeah. I'm just SOOOOO original. Anyways, here's a fun fact!

Fun Fact: Even though Hiroki got Rin and Natsu wayyyy before anime was created, their vessel names are Nourin and Nakatsu. What do their names have in common? They all associate with anime names!