Funny Story 'Bout Love Written by Shera

Disclaimer: none of the following characters are mine, only the evil things II do to them .

A/N: I never planned it to turn into this long ficlet but the muses prodded me and took my candy away cries

"And I never want to see you or your stupid ponytail again!" Ino's voice could be heard over the DJ's music as she stormed into the wedding reception hall. Even though the sudden noise had surprised them all, her friends had grown accustomed to sudden outbursts between Ino and Shikamaru. Sakura sighed to herself. She had hoped that the merriment of Naruto's and Hinata's wedding would have prolonged their current fight. She apologized to Hinata and went to look for Ino.

As Sakura was leaving Shikamaru entered the room. The boys crowded around him.

"What did you do to her this time?" Choji asked while sticking a fork into a piece of cake.

Shikamaru sighed, "Women," he shrugged.

Sakura found Ino standing by the elevator, rapidly pushing the button. She stood next to her blond friend; glad to see her face had turned back to a somewhat normal color. Her eyes blazed at Sakura, "Men!"

"What did he say to you this time?" Sakura could already fell a long rant coming along.

Ino rubbed her temple, "I don't even know."

"Then why all the fuss if you can't even remember."

Ino looked at her pink haired friend sadly, "Sakura doesn't it seem like this happens all the time"
Sakura made a face, "Don't even pretend you haven't noticed. You don't even flinch when I scream anymore."

Sakura tried to laugh it off, "Ino, not even your face can scare me anymore."

Ino's face clouded over, "I think it's really over this time," she said as the elevator doors opened and they both stepped inside.

"You two should just get married. You already fight like an old couple," TenTen murmured to herself.

"Yeah married life is great!" Naruto said as he slipped his arm around Hinata's shoulders.

"What would you know? You've only been married five hours!" Choji asked.

"I know what I like!" Naruto grinned while giving his new bride a kiss on the cheek. There was a collective rolling of eyes.

"Either way," Hinata murmured, "You shouldn't end the relationship on a sour note. If you don't end it honorably you will come to regret it later."

Shikamaru sighed, "Troublesome," he caught a few glares that were directed at him, "Fine, I'm going." He put his hands in his pockets and walked toward the elevator.

Ino flopped onto the bed after Sakura opened the room's door. "Men are just impossible," Ino said flatly. Sakura sat in one of the armchairs because the rant she had predicted was finally coming.

"They are lazy, forgetful, and can't multitask," she gripped tightly onto a nearby pillow, "Women don't really need men anymore. We can take care of ourselves. They just make life more complicated."

"Women do a pretty good job making life complicated for men too, Ino." Sakura said while putting her feet up. She felt as though she should have been wearing oversized glasses and scribbling things down in a notebook.

"Yeah, but women understand each other." A slight spark appeared in Ino's eyes as a sudden thought crossed her mind. "Hey Sakura," Sakura felt the urge to run and run fast, "Men are difficult to deal with right?"

"I suppose so…"

"What if we didn't have to deal with them?

Sakura blinked, "What?"

"C'mon, Sakura, stay with me here. What if we stopped dating men altogether?" She grinned, "What if we dated each other?"

Shikamaru lazily pushed the elevator button. It may have been faster to take the stairs but he didn't want to risk expending too much energy and possibly getting sweaty. He didn't mind the wait too much because he needed to think about what he was going to say to Ino. When the elevator did arrive he stepped inside and leaned against the wall. He put his fingertips together and by the time the elevator arrived at Ino's floor he had a battle plan.

Sakura looked at her friend. She couldn't figure out how serious Ino was about her 'master' plan,
but she could see the intense look Ino was giving her.

"I think it's a lousy idea, Ino-Pig," she said flatly.

"No it's a good idea! Seriously, when was your last date?"

Heat came to her face, "That's not the point-"

Ino put her hands over Sakura's and leaned in so their noses were almost touching, "It could be fun."

Shikamaru read the list of numbers and figured out which direction to take in pursuit of Ino's room. He took a deep breath and walked down the hall. He knew Hinata was right and that annoyed him. The problem was he didn't want to end his relationship with Ino. In fact he had been looking at apartments for them to live in, the problem was Ino's eye for detail and his indifference. He didn't care so much about the colors of the walls or the styles of the trim, all he wanted was to be with her. She, unfortunately, took it as an insult whenever she held up two different sets of curtains and he shrugged his shoulders.

He heard the elevator doors open again and Choji appeared from behind them. Choji grinned at his best friend, "I thought you would need moral support."

Shikamaru laughed, "Thanks, I may need it."

They walked in silence until they reached the room's door. They both exchanged glances. With a deep breath, Shikamaru raised his hand and knocked on the door.

Ino heard a knock on the door. She looked down at Sakura and then back at the door. Sakura wiggled out from under her to see who was at the door, "It's Shikamaru and Choji," she hissed, "Should I answer it?"

Ino thought about it, "Not yet. Let's drive them wild first."

Shikamaru waited and listened intently to the goings on in the other room. He was going to knock again when a breathless, "Who is it?" came from the other side along with an exaggerated giggle.

The boys exchanged glances again, "Um, it's Choji and Shikamaru," Choji replied.

Giggles continued, "Just a moment please."

The door swung open slowly. Both of the boys' jaws hit the floor. Ino stood in the doorway wearing only her satin panties and one of the hotel bathrobes, which wasn't closed so they both could see her lacy bra.

"Come on in," she murmured as she returned to the bedroom.

I think I'll just stay out here-"

"Oh no you don't, Choji! You are coming with me. There is no way I'm dealing with THAT by myself!"

"Coming boys?" Ino's voice echoed back at them. They both gulped and walked into the room.

Sakura laid on one of one of the beds. She was wearing one of hotel bathrobes but hers was securely tied. She silently cursed herself for being persuaded to do this. Ino would owe her big time.

Ino plopped down next to Sakura on the bed and started to brush her pink hair. Sakura raged on the inside but remained calm on the outside, "What can we do for you?" she said trying to pretend this was normal.

The boys exchanged glances but Shikamaru spoke first, "Well, I wanted to speak with, Ino."

"Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Sakura," she said while giving Sakura an affectionate pat on the head.

"Using me as a shield, how dirty!" Sakura fumed on the inside.

Shikamaru squinted his eyes at her, of course she was going to be difficult, "I would rather do it privately."

Choji and Sakura exchanged glances and wondered vaguely how they got into this mess.

"Well in order to do that I would either have to leave the room or make Sakura leave, but due to our attire, neither of us are going anywhere."

"No one told you to take all your clothes off to begin with," he said stubbornly.

Ino's face redden, "I can do whatever I want to!"

"So I guess that includes wandering around hotel rooms in your panties!"

"If that's what I want, then yes! You don't have any control over me!"

"Oh really?

"Yes, really!" her eyes blazed and he started to regain control over his temper.

"Okay, Ino," he said taking a step towards her, "If you really believe that, then show me."

"What?"

"Show me how little control I have over you," he took another step forward. They stayed silent for a long time. It became an intense battle of wills so great that Sakura could feel her hair stand on end. Choji felt equally uncomfortable and wondered how long it would be before he had to break up a physical fight.

Ino laughed to herself, "Of course he'd have a battle plan already to go." She met his gaze as she stood up, "Well for one thing, I can kiss anyone, not just you."

He shifted his weight but still stood firm, he thought he saw her look at Choji for a second, "Oh really?"

"Uh, huh."

"I dare you."

A devil of a smirk spread across her face. In a matter of seconds she had Sakura's chin in her hand and her lips firmly on hers. The move had surprised Sakura but slowly she gave into the kiss after remembering the plan. They took their time breaking the kiss as the boys stood with their mouths agape. Shikamaru hadn't factored THAT in his plan.

"That-that…" Shikamaru stammered. They had played mind games before but nothing to this extreme. He had secretly hoped Ino would have backed down but he knew better.

"What do you say Sakura-chan? Should we kick these boys out so we might do that again?"

Before Sakura could respond Shikamaru cut in, "It's not a real kiss! She's your best friend! Anyone can kiss their best friend!"

"Is it that simple?" she grinned, "Show me."

THIS wasn't in his plan either but he couldn't let Ino one up him. He grabbed Choji roughly by the shoulders. Choji face turned completely scarlet but he understood how important this was to Shikamaru. Shikamaru kept thinking about how much BBQ he would have to treat his friend to later as he leaned in closer. The kiss was award at first and didn't improve much when Shikamaru tasted a slight residue of cake frosting on Choji's lips. Theirs lasted half the time that the girls' had. They both felt embarrassed and the girls felt embarrassed for watching.

After he regained his composer Choji said, "You guys can't continue doing stuff like this."

"Why aren't you having fun?" Ino purred while taking a step towards him.

Shikamaru grabbed her wrist, "Choji's right, we shouldn't have gotten them involved in the first place." Ino was going to protest when he continued on, "You two leave, I have words to say to Ino." They looked at Shikamaru and decided not to argue with him. Choji opened the door and Sakura followed him out. She closed the door behind her. He gave her the look over and she flushed when she realized that she was still only wearing a bathrobe.
He sighed to himself, "Come on. I think I can find something from my suitcase that will fit you," he smiled, "Unless you want to walk around in that."

Sakura shook her head, "no."

He took off his suit jacket and put it over her shoulders, "This will cover you better until we get to my room."

"Thank you, Choji."

He smiled and led her to the elevator. She could smell his scent from the jacket. It was a faint, sweet smell that intoxicated her. She bit her lip and kept her thoughts to herself as they rode in the elevator in silence.

He unlocked the door and held it open for her. She slipped inside as he found the light switch. Suitcases were scattered around the room.

"Sorry about the mess," he said with his hand behind his head. "It's a roomful of bachelors." Sakura laughed a little in spite of herself.

He climbed over a duffel bag and kicked a pair of boxers under the bed. He pulled out his own suitcase from under the table and threw it onto the bed. She walked though the mess, only stubbing her toe once.

"Take whatever you want, although it looks like all of my shirts would be like a dress on you."

She picked though his shirts and could tell that he was right. Sakura pulled out a light blue t-shirt. "I'll just use the bathroom to change in," she said while opening the door.

"Oh, yeah go ahead," he sat down at the table.

Sakura closed the door and untied her bathrobe, "What a great situation you left me in, Ino," she muttered to herself.

She slipped the shirt over her head, she smoothed out the fabric to her knees. It was too lose in the middle she decided. She looked around and noticed a reddish-brown belt on the floor. She slipped it on and tightened it. Now her attire could pass off as a summer dress.

"You're not allowed to laugh," she called as she pushed the door open.

"Alright," he replied back.

Sakura opened the door slowly the rest of the way. He was still sitting in the chair but he was now munching on a bag of chips. He looked up and dropped the bag.

"Whoa, my clothes look good on you, I mean not that I want you to wear my clothes, not that I mind, I mean you look better not wearing my clothes, wait that's not what I meant! I mean…I mean-" he rambled trying to figure out a way to get out of the hole he was digging for himself.

"Hey, Choji," she whispered as he looked back at her, "would you like to go back to the reception hall, and, um, dance with me?" He looked slightly stunned and Sakura blushed slightly,
"It's okay, if you don't want to."

He held out his hand, "C'mon."

"Really?"

"Yes, but on one condition."

"What condition?" she wrinkled her nose.

"You'll share a piece of cake with me after."

She grinned and nodded her head "yes". She took his hand as they walked out of the hotel room together.

Ino watched as Sakura closed the hotel room door. She looked back at Shikamaru. They had been teammates, friends, and lovers. She trusted him with her life and she with his, but she couldn't tell if she could trust him with her heart anymore.

He led her to the bed and sat down next to her. They sat in silence until she heard him sigh.

"Well you got your wish. What was so important that you had to talk to me alone for?" she muttered. He was watching his hands in his lap, "What is it?" she refused the tears in her eyes, "Shikamaru?"

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his body. "It's never easy is it? You plan out what you're going to say in your mind but when it's time your body refuses to work."

She rested her head on his chest, "Maybe you should just say it."

"Troublesome," he smiled as she pouted at him. He held her closer, "You remember that one mission when all three of us were sent to that frozen wasteland and we had to huddle for warmth."

"Yeah, you and Choji built some sort of ingle that we all slept in."

"I don't really remember how cold it was," she looked up at him, "I kept thinking how I had to keep my best friends alive. Then I looked down at your sleeping face and saw your lips turning blue. I pulled your body close to mine, just like it is now, and I prayed. I prayed for the morning and the snow to stop, but mostly for you to wake up and smile again." Ino sniffled, "I think that's when I finally realized how much I loved you."

He wouldn't look at her. He seemed far away in his own thoughts. It was almost like he was watching the clouds go by.

"I remember waking up with yours arms around me," Ino started, "I thought how strange it was to wake up in your arms without having to posse someone else's body. I didn't think too much about it then." He slowly started to come back to her. "Another time when we were training your air tie got snagged on a tree branch and you lost it." She laughed, "Our whole simulation was slowed down because you couldn't see. I happened to have a ribbon on me but you refused to wear it. You were so stubborn."

He smiled at her, "Yeah, then you threaten to posse me and find a matching dress to go with it." They snickered as they twined their fingers together.

"The look on your face was precious. Maybe I knew then," she tugged on his ponytail affectionately. Her tone got serious again, "What's going to happen to us, Shikamaru?"

"Well that all depends."

"Depends on what?"

"On you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, it all depends on what you say after you see this," he pulled out a small blue box from his jacket pocket, "In this box in her hand. She lifted the lid gingerly as a diamond ring winked at her.
"I went with Naruto to pick out his for Hinata because it was too much effort to go by myself."

She started to cry, "That means you've had this over two years."

Shikamaru continued on with his story, "It was really hard to keep Naruto quiet too. He has such a big mouth, what a pain." He smirked at her as he cupped her chin in his hand.

"All this time, and you, you," she sniffled, "This was all planned out, and you pretended like you weren't up to something."

His lips brushed hers. "Keep this in mind. I'm always up to something." He wiped her tears away with his thumb. "C'mon, I wanted to see you smile when I finally got around to giving it to you." A choked laugh came out of her throat. "Please, smile," he murmured near her ear. "Please," he whispered as he kissed her neck. She giggled as he did it again, and again.

"I'm smiling, stop it, stop it." She pushed him back slightly so he could see the broad grin on her face.

"So," he started, "if you put this ring on then I can guarantee you a lifetime of cloud watching, eating ribs, missions, and all sorts of other troublesome events."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fully on the mouth. The heat of that single kiss made all of their previous fights seem unimportant. "Yes," she breathed into his ear.

"Yes?"

"Yes!"

"Yes?!"

"YES!" she shouted as she glomped the life out of him. They stayed in each other's embrace, neither wanted to leave it even though both of them were suffocating.

Choji twirled Sakura on the dance floor. He was surprisingly light on his feet and Sakura was enjoying his company. Naruto and Hinata joined them. "So what's going on with those two?" Naruto asked the other pair.

"We don't know. We got kicked out before any blood shed." Hinata looked worried, "It's only an expression!" Choji explained, "but I think he may have,"

"Really?" Naruto's eyes grew wide, "Even after earlier?" Choji nodded and the girls looked at each other puzzled.

Shikamaru returned to the reception hall with one hand in a pocket and the other in Ino's. Ino had put the dress she had been wearing back on but she wore a completely new expression on her face.

Ino waved to her friends and dragged Shikamaru over to them. As Ino showed her friends her new engagement ring they started to talk about wedding arraignments and minor details like color schemes. Shikamaru overheard them giggling over them, "This is going to be troublesome," he sighed.

"What did you say?" Ino's mouth was covered by Sakura's hands as everyone let out a sigh of relief. They knew that they would start fighting again tomorrow but for now they were glad for the moment of calmness.

The End