All characters, settings, identities, names, space-time travelling vehicles of a certain blue nature, and other copyrights that have been used in this story are the property of their respective owners. I take no credit for the creation of these. Is anybody still reading after that?

The Most Massive Sci-Fi Crossover In The History Of Mankind

An epic tale by PotassiumNickelIron

Introduction

(AKA "The bit you can skip if you want to")

This is a story that takes place in James Cameron's universe. It is a universe in which the Titanic has crashed and sunk with two lovers on board. More recently, two other lovers...sorry...gag...have come into existence in this universe. The universe that is now being called the Avatar universe. What most folks don't know is, Titanic and Avatar happened in the same universe, as did Aliens (albeit in a different part of the universe, which would explain why you don't see flesh-eating bug monsters beating the crap out of Na'vi.)

See, each piece of fiction will exist in its own universe, sometimes as one big universe with lots of other stories (see Stephen King's works as well as the View Askewniverse). The problem is, who's to say the author can decide when a work can exist in his universe. When a ruthless little miscreant like me comes along, it all goes...er...queue up, shall we say.

So, this is the idea I have formulated: an idea so epic, you may lose control of your colon. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Most Massive Sci-Fi Crossover In The History Of Mankind! In this extravaganza, for what I hope is the first time, almost all of the sci-fi books, films, plays and TV shows will come together for what may be one of the biggest meetings of all time.

I hope you enjoy the meta-fictional morsel, the splendiferous sensation, the alliterated ambience that is:

The Most Massive Sci-Fi Crossover In The History Of Mankind!

Chapter I

The Beginning Of It All

Part of Pandora was enveloped in shadow. It had just turned its face away from the star Alpha Centauri A, one of the closest of Earth's neighbours. But it wasn't dark here. From above the moon's surface, light could be seen shining through. Everything on Pandora was bioluminescent, even the most sentient natives, the Na'vi, had illuminated freckles. The trees glowed. The planet was one of the single most bright things in the entire solar system.

Yet, things were not to be so peaceful soon. The thing is about the universe, it can be really nice one second, and then, it'll dunk you in a vat of sadsauce (whatever that is). Unfortunately, it had decided to play dirty.

Very dirty.

Thoom! An explosion had erupted 8.7 light years away. The fabric of time and space was stretching, like elastic or latex, twisting and bending, until the matter split, with something incredibly out of control whizzing through the hole and into space. The object continued to move rapidly and jerkily, turning left or right without warning.

Inside, a young-looking man was running around the control panel, screaming.

'No, no, no, no, no, you stupid, stupid machine!' he shouted, taking a mallet and thumping the panel repeatedly. It was no use, if anything making the situation worse. The machine began to fade in and out of reality, approaching Alpha Centauri A at near-light speeds...

The man flicked one switch, and while he didn't slow to a comfortable speed, his oddly-shaped craft now at least wouldn't achieve infinite mass. The machine rolled through the air, gyrating.

'Hold on, girl, we're going down,' the young man said, safely tucking himself into the foetal position, his arms wrapped in a coat, wearing a pair of All-Star Converses on his feet.

Crash. The small spaceship had crashed, by chance, near a lake on Pandora. A vertical crater was embedded into the cliffside where the ship had landed. It was now in the middle of the night. Several fan-lizards leapt to safety like little helicopters, glowing and becoming beacons around the crater. The spaceship's door swung open, and its operator stepped out, coughing.

It was only then that he realised that the air on this planet was toxic to his lungs. He dashed back inside the ship and opened a panel on the floor using a cigar-shaped device. He sifted through several items, including a packet of jelly-babies, and picked up a box of pills, reading 'Aero-Pills: The Pills that help you breathe easy.' He swallowed one. The pills would create a thick mucous membrane in the lungs that acted as a filter for poisonous gas, making the Doctor able to breathe on Pandora.

He stepped outside, only this time, he was surrounded. Several blue-skinned aliens, at least twice his height, surrounded him, with their bows and arrows drawn. They began shouting things in their native tongue, but the man knew what they were saying, due to an automatic telepathic translation in his head. He was still holding the cigar shaped device.

'Who are you?' shouted one of the tallest aliens, his heavily-accented English bearing down on the smaller man's ears. 'Tell me, or I will kill you!' he continued. The man took his device, calmly laid it on the ground, and stood up, raising his arms.

'Who am I?' he replied.

The alien stood back in shock. How did this man speak his language? The smaller man continued.

'Who am I? I am a man that has been through more than any of you could imagine. I am a man that has been shot, pushed 50ft to his near-death, irradiated by spiders. I am the last survivor of a great war. I suggest you lower your weapons now.' The aliens did so. 'Who am I? My name is not that important. But I think you should call me...

The Doctor.'

The Doctor explained that he was not a human or 'sky person' as the aliens called them. He proved this by showing he had two hearts, two pulses. He said that he was 900 years old, something the natives could not comprehend due to his youthful build. He was told that the humanoid inhabitants of Pandora, 12 to 9-foot-tall blue-skinned people were called Na'vi. The Na'vi hated humans.

The Doctor was impressed by the amazing way in which these solitary people lived. He was fascinated by the way they thought like humans, looked a bit like humans, even had facial expressions recognisable to humans, but they weren't like humans. They weren't biting warriors that would blow each other up at the slightest provocation. The Doctor did like human beings, but was always dumbfounded by the way that the human race could kill itself so easily.

He went back into his spaceship. It was a 6-foot-high by 2-foot-wide blue box, bigger on the inside than the out. He called it 'TARDIS'. He was going to figure out where he was so he could get correct coordinates to Tudor Britain, as he'd been wanting to give William Shakespeare another visit. The screen showed nothing. It was as if the moon he was on did not even exist.

He left the spacecraft, confused. Perhaps the circuitry had been damaged. He walked back outside to speak to some of the Na'vi.

'Which tribe is this?' asked the Doctor. The tribe was known as the Omaticaya, who were effectively like the equivalent to the United States on Pandora: they had led a huge revolution, and won their independence, while bringing other tribes in to help (oops, bit of mean satire there, pay no attention to me).

It was explained by some of the warriors that only a couple of years or so beforehand, 'the sky people' had viciously held an iron fist on Pandora, mining it for what they-rather unimaginatively-called 'Unobtanium', which to the Na'vi was like any other useless rock. After several special trees had been destroyed, including the Hometree, which was-yes-the home of the Omaticaya-there had been a war caused partly by this, lasting probably only one afternoon. After everyone had been killed/disarmed, they were forced back home to their-pardon my French-crappy planet.

The Doctor shook his head in disgust.

'Typical.' he muttered. Like I say, he didn't dislike humans, he just thought they could be incredibly stupid. He didn't suppose any of these folk knew about space travel or better—coordinates, but he decided to give it a shot.

'Erm...' he began, tapping a hulking Na'vi on the back. 'Hello, sir...' the Na'vi turned round.

'I'm female...' she growled.

'Oh, sorry, ma'am,' The Doctor replied, awkwardly. 'Terribly sorry, I was just wondering if you could help me get to a spiritual leader or chief or something?' He was given a brief blank stare.

'Take-me-to-your-leader...'

The woman pointed at a large tree, absolute kilometers away. The Doctor had been staying at a warrior camp, which would explain the small amount of soldiers that had threatened to kill him. He couldn't leave the TARDIS alone, nor walk or run that far, so he jumped into his spaceship, not caring that the thing was embedded in a crater.

'How the hell is that supposed to escape?' asked one of the warriors. WOOSH! WOOSH! The space craft simply faded away. The soldiers stared in shock and awe as the blue box disappeared, the vertical, oblong-shaped hole where the small box was collapsing in on itself as if nothing had been there. The warriors stood in shock.

Jake Sully, often known as Jakesully to many Na'vi, was the young, active Olo'eyktan of the Omaticaya tribe. He had been assigned to the Avatar Programme two years back after his brother was, in his words, 'murdered for the paper in his wallet'. Jake was a hardened, tough, paraplegic war veteran when he began, but after the Hometree of his betrothed, Neytiri, was destroyed, he sought revenge on his own race, and got it.

What he was focusing on now was keeping his tribe stable. He wasn't even thinking about having kids at the moment. From below, he suddenly heard a whooshing. Must have been the wind, after all, this was a forest. It was only when he saw glowing from below that he got scared. Frightened that missiles had ripped through the base of the tree and he was going to die, he leapt downwards to get to the bottom floor, only to run into a man half his height.

'Hallo!' the man said, cheerfully, looking up at Jake's half-human, half-feline face, his hands in his pockets. 'My name's the Doctor! Mind if I come in? I must say, I'm impressed I got here with no coordinates!' He flopped on to a root of the tree that was conveniently like a bench.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Jake suddenly exploded, quite angered this man had invited himself in.

'Oh, I'm sorry,' the Doctor replied, realising his bad manners. 'Jelly baby?' he asked, holding a bag. 'You know, I forgot how much I liked these things...'

'You still haven't answered my question!' shouted Jake, getting more and more frustrated.

'OK, calm down, sir! You are a "sir", right?'

'Yes! Now either tell me what or get out of here!'

The Doctor noticed that Jake had an American accent as opposed to the Carribean/African/Hispanic lilt the native Na'vi had.

'You're not one of them, are you?' he asked, having flipped into a serious personality. Jake wasn't going to reveal anything to some random guy who had just waltzed in and taken a seat.

'Yes, I am!' he lied. 'I was born and raised on this planet.'

'Really?' replied the Doctor, taking out the cigar-shaped device, reaching and buzzing it in Jake's face.

'The hell is that?' Jake asked, the buzzing irritating him.

'This is a Sonic Screwdriver,' replied the Doctor, continuing to buzz in Jake's face.

The Doctor pocketed the device. 'Human DNA. You're a hybrid.'

'Alright, I'm a hybrid. What does it matter?'

'Because,' the Doctor replied, 'That tells me that humans were once here—or are here.'

'How?'

'Humans are intelligent enough to splice their DNA with an apple-they can splice with a Na'vi-' -the Doctor clicked his fingers- 'Just like that.'

Jake began explaining his life to the stranger, and the Doctor sat and listened—only one other person had ever done that for him—nodding occasionally.

'Your wife, Neytiri. Where is she?' the Doctor asked.

'I don't know...somewhere in the forest, probably,' Jake replied.

There was a pause. 'Er, Jake, you say you were a member of the Marines?'

'Yeah?'

'Do you know anything about coordinates?'

'Er...a little, it was, like, mandatory, but I never took the full course-'

'And I stole a TARDIS without a licence once. These things happen.'

The Doctor explained to Jake that he needed to get to Earth. After drawing several complex maps on the ground, the Doctor came to the conclusion that he wasn't going anywhere until he could get the thing's automatic recognition software up and running again. Still, Pandora was a nice place, he could stick around a while.