Chapter 1: Déjà Vu

Lance always wanted to go to space. He used to dream about it, read about it, and talk about it. He remembered being six years old and picking out blue glow-in-the-dark stars and plastic planets to stick on his bedroom ceiling. He remembered jumping up and down excitedly as his father stuck them up there. Once they were up Lance's father turned off the lights and pulled the curtains shut. Lance watched the little glowing stars thinking they were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Look," His papa whispered placing a hand on Lance's shoulder "now you have your very own solar system."

Lance loved those plastic stars. He fell asleep underneath them for years and years, growing up until he was tall enough to touch the stars that once seemed so far away. It gave him hope that one day he could touch the stars for real.

And maybe he did, who knew?

He remembered a lot of things about when he was young when his dream was nothing but a hope. The problem was after that, Lance didn't remember much.

He remembered getting his acceptance letter from the Garrison. He remembered going out to dinner with his whole family and that his parents cried. He remembered packing buzzing with nervous excitement. He remembered turning off his bedroom light and glancing at his blue stars one last time before shutting the door for the last time for many years. But after that moment, nothing.

Just blackness.

And logically Lance knows it's been years since he left for the garrison but it feels like it was only weeks ago because that's how Lance remembered it. One moment he was shutting his bedroom door the next he was waking up in a hospital surrounded by his family who was somehow older.

Apparently, he'd been to space. Some serious Garrison men had visited Lance in the hospital and told him so. Lance had been sneaking out with some friends and he got caught up in some conspiracy involving Takashi Shirogane, Lance had seen this Shirogane guy on TV before but that was all he knew of him.

The Garrison men told Lance that he'd disappeared into space with some of his classmates and then appeared alone a few weeks later crash landing in the desert in an escape pod from some foreign ship. He'd been in a coma for years after that, sleeping while the world burned.

And that was all they knew.

Lance wasn't sure if he believed them, something about it seemed off and so at first Lance searched for answers.

He researched Takashi Shirogane, apparently, he was the captain of The Atlas and the former leader of Voltron. His place as black paladin had been taken up by some guy named Keith Kogane who had led Voltron to victory over some aliens called the Galra.

Though, it seemed it had cost them because Voltron was now officially disbanded after losing two of it's paladins in the final battle.

There was no information on the other paladins, the two dead one nor the green and yellow paladins who were still alive. Lance looked but all the message boards and Voltron groups online said that the other paladins kept a low profile and anyone who knew their names were sworn to secrecy, and apparently information on the dead red and blue paladins was classified, kept under lock and key by the government.

So after a bunch of dead ends, Lance gave up. Maybe he had something to do with Takashi Shirogane, maybe he had some kind of connection to Voltron, maybe not. Eventually, Lance realized that it didn't matter.

Maybe he'd been to space, maybe he achieved his dream. But he was here now.

Lance had his family and his farm and he was happy.

He was happy despite the way his stomach dropped every time he saw Takashi Shirogane or Keith Kogane on TV. Despite how Veronica choked on her drink the one time Lance commented on Keith's awful mullet. Despite the yearning, he felt each time he looked up at the stars at night. Some reaching ache like he was missing something.

And it was cruel, it was so cruel that Lance had been to space and he couldn't remember, it was cruel that Lance didn't even know what or who he was missing.

So Lance stopped looking at the stars, and he stopped watching the news the day it was announced that Keith Kogane was leaving earth to run relief missions with the Blade of Marmora, Lance cried, he didn't know why.

Two years passed and Lance was happy, he told himself he was content to live his life like this. Until one fateful day, Lance was on the road for an agriculture conference in Texas when he decided to stop by and pay Veronica a visit.

He knew Veronica lived in Texas, he didn't know why. Lance didn't think Texas was a particularly pleasant place but Veronica had some top secret job for the government and Texas was where they wanted her.

So Lance pulled his old blue truck into her driveway late on a Sunday afternoon, the sun was beginning to set and everything was painted shades of orange, gold, and red. It reminded Lance of something but he didn't try to remember what, he knew he'd only come up empty-handed.

There were two other cars besides Veronica's parked in her driveway but Lance shrugged it off and climbed the steps up to her porch. If she had serious company he could come back later but it was probably just her best friends Charlotte and Lana.

Lance run the doorbell and waited as it rang through the house. There were footsteps and the door was swung open. Veronica stood there for a moment gaping at him before the let out a shriek and swept him into a hug.

"Oh my god!" she beamed pulling away after she's sufficiently bruised his ribs in her hug "What are you doing here?"

"I had an agriculture thing nearby I figured I surprise you with a quick visit."

"Aww. Thanks for stopping by. Come in!"

She ushered Lance inside shutting the door behind him.

"Do you want something to eat?" She asked leading him towards the living room.

"Aw nah, thanks Ronnie but I'm good. I saw you had company I don't wanna impose."

She stopped suddenly as they entered the living room and Lance rammed into her. "Oh my god, I have company."

And indeed she did have company. Sitting on her couch was none other than Takashi Shirogane and Keith Kogane along with some other guy Lance didn't recognize.

The room was filled with a moment of weird silence while Veronica's guests stared openmouthed then Veronica said in a forced cheerful voice "Um guys this is my brother Lance!"

There was an awkward beat before Takashi Shirogane was pushing himself off the couch and holding out his hand "Hi Lance, I'm Shiro." He said kindly.

"Um yeah, I know." Lance blurted out.

Shiro's eyebrows shot up "You do?" he asked sounding a little choked.

"Oh yeah, I've seen you on the news."

"Oh right." Shiro cleared his throat "Well it's nice to meet you, Lance, Veronica speaks highly of you."

"Oh um thanks?"

Shiro smiled "This is my fiancé Curtis," he said gesturing the guy Lance didn't recognize. "And my little brother Keith."

Curtis stood to shake Lance's hand with a smile and Keith followed echoing his movements but with a smile that looked considerably more pained.

"It's nice to meet you Lance," Keith said.

Lance should have responded in kind but instead, he panicked overcome but some emotion he couldn't place and so he blurted out "Your hair looks even worse in real life."

"Oh my god, Lance," Veronica hissed.

"What?" Lance asked his sister who was glaring at him "he has a mullet! Honestly, he's asking for it. Who the fuck has a mullet nowadays?"

For a moment Keith looked like he was about to cry, his eyes were glassy and Lance wondered if he'd honestly offended the guy. But then Keith let out a small laugh.

"That's not the first time I've heard that," Keith said his smile soft.

"No? Well then maybe you should think about getting a haircut."

Keith shrugged "Maybe I will."

"Wait seriously?" Lance asked.

"Sure."

"Okay, I take it back! Don't cut it, I was kidding, I like it."

Keith's eyebrows shot up "Really?"

"Yeah," Lance shrugged "It kind of suits you."

"Hm," Keith cocked his head peering at Lance like he was some kind of mystery "Thanks."

"So," Veronica said as the room settled back down again "I'm honestly a little surprised you stopped by Lance, I hadn't heard from you in forever and mama said you weren't returning her calls."

"Oh yeah, I've been busy."

"With the farm?"

"Um yeah, something like that."

Veronica's eyes narrowed "What does that mean?"

Lance shrugged.

"Did you meet someone?"

Lance sighed "For the millionth time Ronnie I'm not interested in meeting someone. Why do you always bring this up?"

"Why not?" She asked accusingly.

"I dunno, not the romantic type."

She snorted "You used to be, c'mon Lance you were the biggest flirt."

"I used to be? Ronnie, I was fourteen when I left home I definitely wasn't flirting with anyone. I was so awkward."

"Ugh no not then after."

"After?" Lance raised his eyebrows "I disappeared and then I was in a coma. I'm not sure if I was flirting but if I was you definitely weren't there to see it."

Veronica winced realizing she'd made a mistake "No you're right, of course. Sorry, I must be mixing you up with Marco."

Lance made a face "Wow, I'm insulted. Marco's on like his eighth girlfriend this year and it's only April! How could you mix him up with me?"

"We have a lot of siblings okay! Don't tell me you don't get people mixed up sometimes. Like who was it that filled the toilet with pickles when I was in 6th grade? Was it Luis or Marco or Rachel? Who knows?"

At that Lance let out a loud snort. "Actually it was me."

"What!" Veronica jumped up nearly knocking a glass of water over.

"I thought it'd be funny."

"Oh my god, Lance." She shook her head "Mama and Papa grounded us for a month because they couldn't figure out who did it, the only one who they were sure was innocent was you!"

Lance smiled wickedly.

"So why exactly did you fill the toilet with pickles?" Shiro asked looking perplexed.

"I was eleven, honestly who knows? I knew my parents wouldn't suspect me at the time and I thought it'd be fun to pit my siblings against each other. I told my parents that I thought Marco had done it and I told Marco I'd seen Veronica do it, told Veronica I'd seen Luis with the pickles that day, and so on. The all blamed each other and nobody ever suspected it was me."

"Wow," Curtis laughed "You were like a little criminal mastermind."

"Oh I don't know about that, most of my pranks were not nearly as well thought out and my siblings always busted them before I got very far. That's why my parents didn't suspect me, they didn't think I had enough skill to pull it off and hide it from them. I was always more for winging it back then." Lance shuddered "Can't imagine that now, spontaneous things never go well. Plans are best."

"But you deciding to come visit me was spontaneous." Veronica pointed out.

"Nah, I figured I'd come see you as soon as I found out the conference was nearby."

Veronica sighed "Well I think you should be spontaneous more often you could benefit from it. Fewer plans, I dunno take a risk."

The next words Lance spoke left his mouth before he could even process what they were, the felt almost like an instinct, like something deep inside him made him say them.

"Taking a risk is what got me into this situation in the first place."

It was like the air was suddenly pulled out of the room and everyone stilled.

"Um," Keith started tentatively "what situation?"

"Here." Lance's brow furrowed "Wait no- that's not uh. There? Space. Before it was all black…" Lance trailed off shaking his head. "Sorry I don't know what I'm talking about."

There was some tendril of memory on the outskirts of his mind and suddenly the sense of Déjà vu that Lance had become accustomed to was replaced by something much clearer, heat on his skin a familiar weight in his hand a gasp, a scream, fire, someone yelling his name.

Wait someone was calling his name, not in the rough frantic way in his memory though but softer different.

Lance snapped out of his head with a start. Veronica was kneeling in front of him her face lined with worry.

"Lance, are you alright?"

"Oh uh yeah, I'm fine."

"That's never happened before, what was that?"

"I dunno, a memory I think."

"A memory?"

"Yeah I don't know, it was hot and I was holding something and somebody was yelling my name. There was like a fire or something. I was burning I think."

"You were—" Veronica faltered and took a deep breath "Have you remembered things before?"

Lance shook his head. "No, I get like Déjà vu sometimes, I can't normally link it to something specific but there a few times like when the sunset is really golden some days it reminds me of something and I can almost imagine sitting next to someone watching it. But it's not a real memory just a feeling. I've never got anything solid before."

Lance didn't see the upset expression that crossed over Keith's face at the mention of a moment Keith remembered but Lance had forgotten.

"Do you think you're remembering?" Veronica asked.

"I don't know," Lance said quietly.

"Do you want to? Do you want to get your memories back?"

Lance paused for a moment to think before answering "I- I'd like to know who I am."

"You know who you are, you're Lance," Veronica said her eyes sad.

"Am I? I dunno I'm kind of tired of waking up every day with an ache in my chest for people I can't remember. I've never told you this Ronnie but I'm in love with someone, I don't even know their name! Hell, I don't even know if they're alive, if the love me too. I just know that they're out there somewhere waiting for me."

"I'm sorry Lance," Veronica said softly not meeting his eyes.

"It's fine, there's nothing you can do." Lance stood up "I actually should get going I still need to check into my hotel. But I'll stop in and visit you again later if that's okay?"

"Uh," Veronica knew she wasn't going to get anything more out of Lance so she sighed and continued "That sounds great, how long are you going to be in town?"

"I was planning on heading out next week. But I'll see you soon."

"Okay, I'll see you out."

"No, no," Lance brushed her off "its fine."

"Are you sure?"

Lance rolled his eyes "I can get to the front door without your help I swear."

"Okay," Veronica huffed "Fine, I'll see you yeah?"

"Yeah."

She kissed him on the cheek "Okay, I love you."

"Love you too." Lance turned to Shiro, Curtis, and Keith "It was nice to meet you guys."

They exchanged some quick waves and then Lance was out the door making his way down the driveway.

It was dark now the orange sky had faded to a soft purple dusk and bugs were happily making their nighttime noises hidden from sight.

Lance was unlocking his truck when he heard footsteps pounding down the driveway behind him. He turned to see Keith standing behind him eyes wide and dangerous. Lance was suddenly struck by the notion that he could get lost in those eyes, get swept up by the raging wind and fire inside of them and just die in them, he was surprised to realize he'd be completely okay with that.

Keith spoke first "What if you could get them back?"

"What?"

"Your memories, what if I knew a way you might be able to get them back?"

"You know a way?"

"I have some ideas."

Lance reached inside his truck and pulled out a napkin and a pen he quickly wrote something down and then handed it to Keith. "If you could help me remember then I'd say that this is the hotel where I'll be staying and you should come see me tomorrow at ten."

Before Keith could say anything Lance was climbing into his truck and pulling out of the driveway leaving Keith standing there clutching the napkin with Lance's messy scrawl like it was a lifeline.