"I don't understand..."

"Britt, we talked about this morning yet... what else is there to say?"

"When we talked about it?"

I really didn't know if she was serious or not. I was watching her gaze on me and it was indecipherable.

But I couldn't believe that our discussion took place less than seven hours earlier might have been completely forgotten.

"Britt, so... do you remember what happened this morning?"

"No"

She was serious.

I sighed and when I opened my eyes I found her waiting for me with that puppy face squeezing my heart as if she wanted to kill me.

"Britt.." I breathed again. It is been hard the first time, this was the second one ".. this morning we decided to go back to being friends, just friends... no benefit.."

I left her the time to understand what I've just said. But without even changing expression she said:

"Why?"

She just didn't understand the reason for that choice, she didn't understand the meaning that was acquiring that kind of relationship that we had in the past two months.

Same discussion of that morning: same explanations and same answers.

"Because we are friends.." I tried to explain.

"Finn and Rachel are friends"

It was incredible that she continued to say the same things that I've already heard and I let her did it without to change direction.

"We are two girls.."

"Portia is my model"

And so she took me to the only explanation that would have been able to convince her; the only one, the false one, the lie that would have silenced her questions, the one which would hurt both for different reasons but with the same force.

"I don't want be with you"

And than her mouth shut on itself, unable to replicate this time.

I saw her eyes moisten. I imagined that her throat had suddenly dried up like mine, that her nose was burning and had to use all her forces not to cry.

I saw a tear to plow through her face. Maybe not all of her forces.

I wished fervently running to hug her, comfort her in my arms.

I couldn't believe I was the one to hurt her, to break her heart, because I was the same person that I would have kicked in, as I did with all the guys that Britt had left behind herself.

I avoided to hold her, I avoided to kiss away the tears from her cheeks and I looked her suffering in silence. I didn't want that she misunderstand.

And she was proud enough to want to hide from me, I was her idol.

"Can you hug me?"

I hesitated visibly with panic in my eyes.

"I don't know if.."

"I have just been ditched. I need my best friend now, do you think you can at least do this?"

Without another word, sincerely impressed by her words, I wrapped her with my body, like nothing could hurt her in this way, even though I was the cause of her broken heart.

I should protected her better, I should protected her from myself, and I would have to avoid falling in love with her.