Magical Mischief Makers
Prologue – The Sorting Hat's Tale
I'm the Sorting hat. I have a very important job; to put every student into his or her proper House here at Hogwarts. It's not as easy as you might think. But I do enjoy it, it gives me a chance to get out of the headmaster's office.
Take –oh, what year was it? 1970? 1972? I'm not sure. But I remember the Sorting. The students are always terrified, even though they try not to show it. That year, whichever it was, I was anxious to do an especially good job. You see –I'm getting up there in years, and I'm not too pretty anymore. But I know that I'm the smartest hat that anyone could ask for. I just wanted to prove it to Dumbledore. So I decided that every choice was going to be just perfect. None of that 'Well, I guess…" business that I tried a few years back.
The first student was a young girl, "Anderson, Jenny." She was very scared when she put me on. I assured her that everything would be fine and considered her mind. She was a bit timid, but I thought seven years here would cure that, for she had a brave heart. She had a nice mind, but nothing too spectacular, and was a generally decent human being. "Gryffindor," I decided, and was well pleased with my choice.
Next was "Bentley, Thomas," a fine young man with a keen wit. Him I made a Ravenclaw. The next student was also a boy; "Black, Sirius." Black was mischievous as I've ever seen them, but not a malicious mischief; he was very daring. And he was intelligent, no question of that. I decided that Gryffindor would be the proper place for him and sent him off looking very pleased with himself.
After that it was smooth sailing for a long time. When I got to "Lupin, Remus," though, I had a bit of a tough time. The boy was smart, well mannered, considerate, loyal, chivalrous and friendly. If he'd been anyone else I'd have placed him in Gryffindor right off the bat. But he was a werewolf. Not that I have anything against werewolves; I'd just never encountered one before. But I'd heard lots about them, and for a moment I considered Slytherin. Remus must have heard me, for his spirits sank. I knew then that he himself expected not to be put in Gryffindor, though he hoped for it with all his heart. "Gryffindor," I called, to my surprise, perhaps, as well as his. But when someone wants it that much, what's a hat to do?
"Malfoy, Elaida," was next. I had sorted her older brother a few years back, Sorted him right into Slytherin. I paused for a moment with Elaida, for she wasn't quite as sour as most girls who go to Slytherin. But I decided that would be the best House for her after all, and she didn't seem unhappy about that. I followed with, "McKinnon, Thomas," who I sent to Hufflepuff.
I just zipped along until I came to "Pettigrew, Peter." Then I had more problems. Peter was a nervous, scared little boy. He wasn't very brave, or very smart. I didn't think he was particularly loyal, and cunning…. I didn't think so. He gave me a hard time. Finally, I put him in Gryffindor, but I had my doubts. The next boy was no trouble at all. "Potter, James," was a Gryffindor through and through. Another intelligent and mischievous boy – I thought there might be interesting things happening soon, between him and Black. But I'm just a hat, and what I learn from the students is in strictest confidence.
"Redack, Naomi," became a Hufflepuff, and then it was time for "Snape, Severus." Snape wasn't really a bad sort, but he had a bitter streak in him already. He was extremely intelligent, though. I knew he'd do well. I made him a Slytherin.
"Sorenson, Elsie," became a Gryffindor, and "Tanly, Erin," a Ravenclaw. Next came "Vance, Lily." She was a bright and cheerful girl, eager to prove herself. With a nimble mind like hers, I didn't think she'd have much trouble. She went to Gryffindor quickly.
Now I was almost done. "Weasley, Bilius," joined his older brother Arthur in Gryffindor. "Zabini, Darin," was the last student. He went to Slytherin.
As I was taken out, I felt that I had done an excellent job sorting this year. We'll see what they make of themselves, I thought. Now it was time for me to have another long nap.
There, what did you think? The beginning of a new story from me! Yes, I know what you're probably thinking 'Another fifteen part story?' Well, possibly – I'm not sure. Why don't we wait and see?
Disclaimer: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily, and anyone else mentioned in the Harry Potter books are property of J K Rowling and her publishers. The rest of them are people I invented; please don't take without asking –although I can't imagine anyone actually wanting these people.
Let me know what you think!
This series approved by the League of Pettigrew Haters