PENNY:
"Penny! I'm in love with Baz!" Simon announced dramatically one morning, bursting through the door of the library.
"I could have told you that in first year." I replied calmly, not even glancing up from my book.
It's true, honestly. I just always thought that Simon had a hard time with it, and went out with Agatha to distract himself (it obviously didn't work- she dumped him last year). It appears, for once, my hypothesis was incorrect.
Apparently Simon is just that dense.
"This is bad Penny!" Simon flops down on the seat next to me, wearing a 'woe is me' look. "I can't be in love with Baz! He's evil! And plotting! And beautiful! And- and…"
"And?" I prompt
"And he's kind, and has perfect hair, and he….. NOT THE POINT."
Crowley, could this boy be any more smitten? What part of his skull did he fall on back at the orphanage to not make him realise he was in love with Baz for this long? He's been ranting about Baz ever since we first came to Watford. And I don't know how he didn't work it out in fifth year when he literally stalked Baz everywhere on the pretence that he was trying to find out if Baz was a vampire.
"What do you want me to do? Isn't this kind of your own problem?"
"Look, Penny I need help. Can't you cast a spell that'll make me fall in love with Agatha? Or some sort of anti-love spell? I have to kill him one day! And if I'm like this…"
"You'd rather let him kill you." I finish, snapping the book shut, giving up on studying altogether. If I try to combine work and Simon's matters of the heart, I'll end up answering 'Simon is a dense prat' on the next Magickal History test. And the professor of that class doesn't have much of a sense of humour.
"Yeah….The worst part is, he won't ever love me back. He hates me. He'd absolutely despise me if he found out I well…" Simon's voice dropped lower "loved him. Help me? Pretty please?"
I sigh. Just when did I become Simon's agony aunt? He better be willing to repay the favour if I ever get into a predicament with Micah. Actually, it might be better if he didn't return the favour. He'd probably end up being the reason I die alone with twenty cats. I face Sion, and speak clearly and slowly- as if I was explaining something to a small child.
"Simon, I'm not going to put a love spell on you, to make you fall in love with Agatha. It's unethical, not to mention illegal to put feelings there that weren't there befo-" I break off "That's it!"
"What's it?" Simon leaned forwards, propping his head up with his hands. If he was this eager about studying, maybe I wouldn't have to do his homework for him every day.
I smile.
"What if I told you there was a way to tell Baz your feelings, and not have him hate you?"
SIMON:
"I thought you said love spells were illegal?" I say anxiously to Penny, shifting from one foot to the other as she flips through a book.
She shakes her head.
"The only law against love spells is that you can't put feelings there that weren't there before. The same with anti-love spells. Which means?"
She looks at me expectantly. I blink.
"That people with crushes are gonna be pretty irritated?"
Penny groans.
"No Simon. We aren't going to put an anti-love spell on you. We're going to put a love spell on you." Her eyes sparkle slightly "Simon, are you up for a bit of acting?
Is it just me, or is Penny speaking in opposites?