Love is Not War
Chapter 1-Baby
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto find themselves in an awkward situation that is related to a school project. SasuNaru or NaruSasu depending on my mood at the moment I write. AU.
Disclaimer: No matter what you may think I do not want to own Naruto. It's too much work.
I closed my eyes tightly and opened them, nope, not a nightmare, so...why is Sai... kissing me. I had been pulling things out of my locker, when I had suddenly been turned around and my hands had been pushed into the wall above my head, Then I had felt a mouth on mine and lips prodding it open, My eyes had widened to extremes and I had just realized it was Sai, aka cold bastard who always called me 'dick-less' was kissing me.
This made me want to gag but Sai was unfortunately stopping this reflex by shoving his tongue into my mouth, and choking me with it, I bit his tongue slammed my locker shut and ran.
I went out side to a group of friends and recalled what had just happened to me, they had all glanced at each other and laughed, this was what was currently confusing me they were laughing at my disgust to Sai? My eyebrows rose and I went over to my louder friend.
"Kiba..."I closed my eyes and waited until he finished gulping for breath and laughing, "What is so funny about a bastard kissing me?" Kiba blinked and sat up "That's not what's funny, idiot." He coughed out "so what is funny" I asked crossing my arms; Kiba sighed and grinned, "Ya, know the cold bastards?" I nodded, the cold bastard included Sai, Sasuke, Lee, Neji, Shino and Gaara,
"Yes Kiba, what about them?" He grinned "Well they came over here on a dare and asked us to dare one of them to do something, that's out of character, Well we thought as this as a good joke, so Shikamaru dared on of them to dare one another, cause we thought this would be a good laugh to watch them, but then Sasuke smirked and dared Sai..."
I growled so it was Sasuke-teme's fault I should have known "Where's the teme?" I asked cutting him off mid rant; He glared at me but answered "He's inside getting ready for class." I grinned I was in all Sasuke's classes, so I knew exactly were he would be going and I could cut him off "See ya at lunch Kiba, Shikamaru!" I waved and ran back into the building and waited out side the Com. Arts room, until I saw the duck butt, "Oi, teme, you asshole, why would you dare Sai something as disgusting as to kiss me?"
I questioned, school had not yet started but it was open to students, even with barely any teachers, Sasuke smirked, and rolled his eyes "To piss you off, why else other than my own amusement" He answered, I growled and tackled him we rolled around punches flying my fist contacted with his cheek bone when he kicked me off with all his strength,
I flew off him and landed a few feet away on my butt I sat up to see him wiping some blood of the corner of his mouth, he glared, his glared would usually scare anyone into wetting themselves but I was use to it and it had no effect.
"NARUTO, SASUKE! IN MY OFFICE NOW!!" I looked over to see the Com. Arts teacher, Iruka stalking over to us and pointing at a door right out side his class room. We both were grumbling as we stood and stalked into his office, I sat at the far left and Sasuke sat of the far right one seat between us and one behind Iruka's desk.
Iruka came in short after us and sat in the seat behind his desk "Why were you two fighting?" He questioned his voice more calm but full of tension, I glanced over at the teme but averted my eyes quickly "Why does there always have to be a reason to kick this bastards ass?" I asked Iruka, a vein began to pulse on said teachers head
"NARUTO! LANGUAGE!" he shouted my grin fell "DETENTION! TWO WEEKS BOTH OF YOU!" my eyes widened in shock me and the teme got two weeks detention just for a minor scuffle?! Iruka must be in a BAD mood, usually he would just let us off with a warning, I looked over at Sasuke he had already started to glare at me, I flinched inside, Sasuke's glares may not affect me like it does everyone else but it still was a tiny bit spooky
"Don't blame me teme! It's you're fault for antagonizing [1] me!" Sasuke smirked, "Big words for a small brain usuratonkachi." I stood and Sasuke examined his nails ignoring me completely "THREE WEEKS!" I looked back at Iruka and my eyes widened I had forgotten he was even there
"Hn..." I felt my nose twitch, BASTARD! If I actually screamed then we would probably get four weeks. "Fine Iruka." I said sitting back in my seat "When does our detention begin, is it after school or during lunch?" Sasuke asked his tone having nothing in it, I felt as if I was being drained of all feeling from just being around the ebony haired asshole. [2]
Iruka calmed at Sasuke question "After school today. Be sure to call your--" He cut off mid sentence and looked back and forth between us...he had been about to say parents. The unsaid word still stung, we would have no one to call... I smiled gently "Iruka it's...its fine, just a slip." I told him he tensed and relaxed simultaneously.
I once again glanced at Sasuke, his eyes caught mine and we held the contact until I turned once again to face Iruka. "Mm sensei, how long is each detention going to be?" I asked. He looked at the ceiling then back down at us smirking "Two hours each." My jaw dropped, and I whimpered "b-but Iruka we can't stand each other!" his eyes glinted evilly "I know..."I pouted but didn't say a word.
"I have work after school could you make that an hour and a half I'll make up the missed time during lunch." Iruka looked at Sasuke and smile "I'm glad your taking responsibility for your actions Sasuke, and that sounds fine." my eyes widened, that meant Sasuke would get to skip out on half an hour of detention! "What room?" I asked quickly my mind drifting to the teachers that might let me leave early "Room 428." I thought quickly trying to figure out the initials for each number
4: G H I
2: A B C
8: T U V
I narrowed it down a bit more...Hat, a shortened form of the Language teachers last name Hatake...I groaned, Kakashi Hatake was the least likely teacher in the school to let kids leave detention early. The bell rung, Sasuke and I stood, Iruka waved a hand to dismiss us, Sasuke already ready for class walked in the class room next to Iruka's office without a second thought, I on the other hand was nervous to go to my locker.
I shook it off and walked down the hall stopping front of my locker I looked up and down the halls for Sai, or any of the cold bastards, and sighed in relief when none were spotted. I put in my locker combination:
29-15-43
I muttered it under my breath and pulled the locker open I grabbed my orange binder and dropped it on the ground, then I pulled out my economics book, and put it on my binder, after that I pulled out a black notebook with a red swirl on it, and an orange pen, an eraser and a #2 pencil, I stacked the things up and carried my binder, com. arts book, an note book with one arm an carried the pen, pencil, and eraser with my other hand and closed my locker with my shoulder.
This was normal routine and I was used to being late as were all my teachers so they gave me an extra 2 minutes to get my things I think they finally understand that no matter how many fights I got into I was short, not that I'm really proud of that but if it gets me extra time I'll take it. I grinned when opening the door and rolled my eyes when Uchiha looked up from his writing to glare at me.
There was defiantly a 10 foot pole stuck up his ass. I sat in my usual spot behind him [3]
Iruka-sensei lectured the class about our test scores and praised a few people including three of the cold bastards: Shino, Neji and of course Sasuke-teme.
"Alright class you'll be paired up into family groups to look after a baby." I rose my hand "An uh real one, don't ya think that's a little irresponsible after all we are teenagers" Iruka rubbed his temples and sighed "Not real babies Naruto, electronic ones that monitor and grade you."
There were snickers through out the class; laughing at my stupidity.
"Class quite down, you will be paired up according to you name and grade or my preference. The first group is Neji and Tenten. Please come up and get your child." Neji stood and Tenten did as well, they hated each other and stiffly walked up and took the baby from Iruka. "Next are Sakura and Ino." The class watched the blonde and pink haired girls walk to the front arguing about what they wanted to name the baby. There was a murmuring about same sex couples before the next group was called.
"Uh…Sasuke and" Each girl held their breath and I prayed to kami [4] that I wouldn't be the next name said. "Naruto, please get your baby." I stopped breathing and cursed kami.
Sasuke stood and I followed him down and we grabbed the electronic baby at the same time our hands brushed I jerked my hand back and Sasuke held the baby. "Aw…Sasuke-kun's holding a baby." I pouted and we both moved to go back to our own seats. After what seemed like forever Iruka called the last group.
"Ok now that you each have a child and a partner I will explain. The baby has a bag that has magnetic items in them let me show you." He pulled out a baby bag, and took a bottle from it. "This is how you feed the babies when they cry. There is a magnet in the nipple and you just hold it to the babies' mouth and it will make a sucking noise, it will coo when finished,"
He put the bottle away and pulled out a diaper. "Your baby has two of these and has to be wearing one at all times there is a magnet in the colored area and you have to change the diaper if the baby cries, when it coos you know you did the right thing,"
He put that away and pulled out a little bracelet. "You will have to have this and all the other things with you at all times and you identify your self to it by putting it over a baby when the make a ring sound you know they have identified you,"
He sighed. "You have to hold your baby's neck up at all times or they will get a 'neck support' which will take away from your grade" Iruka looked a bit stressed "Your babies cries will all sound the same so you may have to do all of the things before you find the right thing. There are four ways to calm this baby."
He looked around to be sure no one was sleeping. "Rock them, Change them, feed them, or burp them"
[1] I spelled that right isn't anyone proud of me I did that on my very first try yay!!
[2] My step-dad that no-one likes drains the whole house of every emotion except anger and makes us tired the minute we enter the house it feels like a weight has been put on our shoulders and once we leave you have no idea how much better we feel.
[3] OMG he's BEHIND Sasuke omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg I think I just had a stroke! OMG soooo perverted!!!
[4] Kami is like god in Japan so yeah that's why they pray to kami and not god.
Anyway I hope no one is too mad at me for replacing Love Is War for this. I jus didn't like my other story and it seemed badly written and hard to understand.