Disclaimer: All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just borrowed her characters to play with them.

AN: Yes, I hate it too. English is my 2nd language so I am in great need of beta!!!! Please PN!

After Edward left me I was devasted. My whole world broke down. He was the only guy I ever loved, the only guy I let close to me. He was my prince- beautifully perfect. The reason, why I lived- now with him and his whole family gone I didn´t know, if I could go on.

You may think it stupid. Yes, I was only 18 years old and my whole life lied ahead of me. But at this point I didn´t see it.

School was hell- I didn´t have any friends anymore. I spent my whole time with the Cullens and therefore abounded my old normal human friends- yes human friends, you got it right. Edward was no human. He and his whole family were vampires. Not the Dracula like vampires, but animal hunting, in the sun sparkling, golden eyed vampires.

I loved the whole family. His parents Esme and Carlisle were a second set of parents to me. Alice his little sister was my best friend and they just left me without a goodbye.

Jasper Alice´s husband, the newest addition to their family, tried to attack me on my birthday after I got myself a papercut. Yes, only stupid me could get a papercut in a room full of vampires. Edward brought me home right after the incident. Some I knew right away something was wrong, very wrong. He seemed so distanced and angry, but I didn´t know, what to read into it.

It never prepared me for what was about to happen. I never saw them again. 3 days after my birthday Edward took me out in the forests behind my house to talk. He had no kind words for me. He said he never loved me. It was my blood, that attracted him and my silent mind. Yes Mr. perfect was also a mind reader, but for some strange reasons my mind was silent to him. He claimed his family only bared with me to make him happy. They never wanted me. Edward didn´t want to pretend anymore. He had had enough "fun". Alice has seen his real soulmate.

So this was it. I´ll never forget his face, while he talked. His normally warm golden eyes stared down on me- hard and merciless. His last words still scream in my mind "Maybe it had been better the van crashed you. It would have spared my family a lot of trouble. Forget we ever existed. Goodbye, Isabella!"

The next days I only cried. I couldn´t talk, couldn´t eat, couldn´t sleep. I just got up, went to school and went to bed again to float in my misery.

My dad Charlie couldn´t take it anymore and shipped me away to Jacksonville, Florida to my mum Renee and stepdad Phil. I hadn´t the strength left to fight Charlie´s decision. I knew in a sunny place like Jacksonville I´d never see a vampire again. I feared I´d forget them in some time. I hadn´t anything to remind me of them, except the tiny vampire scar bite the nomad left me.

My blood was very appealing to him. So he just decided make it his goal to suck me dry for fun. He liked a challenge. And a human protected by a vampire family was even more fun for him. Poor James didn´t think it´d end in such a way. The Cullens stopped and destroyed him, but only after he bid me. Edward sucked his venom out and finally tasted my sweet blood.

I was sitting in my new room in Florida. Just thinking and sulking like always. But as I stared at the little scar I came to the conclusion:

Edward never wanted to spend eternity with me.

After he tasted my blood he wasn´t interested in me anymore

Now I saw the little signs I should have noticed much more earlier. It all came back- little flashes in my mind. After he tasted my blood Edward wouldn´t touch me by choice. Every touch, every light kiss seemed forced. He never wanted to take our relationship a step further- even as I pushed myself onto him. The bastard wasn´t interested in me, but my blood. 'Yes quick-witted he told you so almost a month ago. Remember forests big break-up scene?' , my mind screamed at me.

I couldn´t believe it. How could I be so stupid? He had has his candy, so why bother to further pretend.

I promised myself to fight- for me, for my life and the ones, who still loved me Renee, Phil and Charlie- although I didn´t even acknowledge them properly in the last few weeks. I still felt broken, hurt beyond belief, but I wouldn´t let a sparkling vampire fuck up my life.

Part of me will ever love him and his family, but the greater part of me wanted to go on, start over, just live again.

As I looked outside my window and saw the sinking sun over the beach, I also saw a tiny glimmer of hope. One door closed forever, but many still to open.