Akane Hits the Big One, Repeatedly

Author's Notes: Brain worm struck again and this one looks like I can squeeze it into a one-off item. All the "failed wedding" scenarios seem to focus on Ranma, especially the "Desperately Seeking Ranma" series (main story and prequels) by PixelWriter1. If you're going to tackle that, first read the prequels so you're familiar with the events and characters that lead up to "Desperately..." BTW, TVTROPES has a rundown on the tropes in that story. But, what-the-hey, reading the entire story is a lot more fun as not all of the tropes got listed... Yes, I'm a big fan of the series and am waiting very patiently for the next update, last update May, 2016 - see his blog for details.

Anyway, Akane has remarkably good fortune and strikes out on her own, definitely not the dutiful daughter she seems to be. Sows murder and mayhem (figuratively, that is.)

Akane looked over the cleaned dojo and then bowed to the Butsudan for her mother. "My apologies, Mother, for what I am about to do. I have many faults, the least of which is my temper; but I've decided on what my course must be. Watch over me, please."

Straightening, she looked over to the doorway and saw Kasumi and Happosai, standing in the doorway.

"Is everyone else gone?"

Kasumi smiled. "Everyone except Ranma. Someone dosed him with cold water..." and gently reached over and tapped Happosai on the head. He batted her hand away and smirked.

Akane glared at the old pervert. "OK then, grandfather, YOU go chase down Ranma and POLITELY tell him that you'll show him some new chi techniques. No glomping or sarcastic remarks or SWEETOs, but you all have to be out of here in the next ...", a quick glance at her watch, "two minutes. And don't come back before noon. Wakarimas?"

Happosai pouted. "That's no fun... But then, he'll be expecting me to be doing just that, which not doing anything untoward will annoy and frustrate him to no end of things." He then turned, picked up his washing kit and strolled in the direction of the house, quietly intoning "Raaaanmaaaaaa... Akane says that we have to be gone now or she'll start Hammering Time, on you then me, and we don't want that."

A en-femme Ranma-sized blur howled past the end of the dojo, snagged the free hand of Happosai and dragged him off. "It's because of you that I'm late, MASTER, now you've got Akane mad and I'm not going to take the fall for your pranks AGAIN!"

Akane and Kasumi both stood in the doorway, looking at the pair exiting the property by clearing the wall beside the gate and then rooftopping their way down the street in the direction of the neighbourhood sentō, though it looked more like Happosai was airborne all the time. All they heard was the patter of feet on tiles and Happosai howling "Wheeee!"

Kasumi, picking up her washing kit, looked at Akane.

"You sure...?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I've planned this as a surprise for everyone, INCLUDING YOU. Go. Have a nice soak and come back at noon. No snacking or getting yourself filled up; and that applies to everyone. I'll be providing lunch for everyone."

Kasumi's left eyebrow quirked up as she took an expression of surprise.

"I'm getting it catered and it'll be arriving just about now..." and a truck's air-brakes sounded outside of the gate. "See? They're here and you need to be gone. So, go already!"

Kasumi's expression shifted to her "Smiling Madonna" mode and she walked away, to have Nibiki step in through the gate, looking back at the truck stopped outside. Kasumi slipped her arm through her sister's and gently pulled her along. "Don't ask where the money is coming from, 'Biki-chan. We've been given our orders and we must obey. See you at noon, A-chan!"

Nibiki was making sounds like a motor-boat if you could call it that from the "but-but-but" sounds she was making as she pointed at the name on the truck as Kasumi dragged her down the street.

Akane smiled as she walked over to the gate and opened it wide. "This way, gentlemen and ladies. The dojo is clean and ready for you."

Several hours pass while the Dojo is prepared. No one gets even a peek until the Big Reveal, and this includes the readers...

Everyone returned to the Tendo compound and found Akane sitting in front of the dojo, sipping on a cola drink while people moved rapidly between the kitchen door and the dojo. She bounced up and rocked back and forth on her feet, then looked at everyone with a cheeky grin on her face.

"Ah, we're expecting guests, so I need to have everyone go to your rooms and get dressed in your finest. Actually, I've provided that as well, plus there's people to help you. Don't worry, they're not rentals; they're now yours."

With that, she scooted past them and went over to the gate and talked to the major-domo supervising the ongoing activities.

Kasumi, Nibiki and Nodaka all looked at each and sighed. They then looked at the men, including the now-masculine Ranma, who all shrugged back in return.

"Oh, Ranma!" came Akane's voice from the gate. "Since we're going to have lots of water and cold beverages around, I've anticipated that Ranko will be putting in an appearance. Make sure it happens, okay? I've provided that so don't get all embarrassed, at least not on my account."

Sighing enough to match the ladies, Ranma took his partially-full water bottle and squeezed it into his face, triggering the change and then stomped into the house, muttering. Moments later, a shout rang out from the upstairs guest room, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME! AKANE!"

Akane shouted back. "DON'T WORRY! IT SUITS YOU. WEAR IT!"

The remaining members of the household all looked at each other, then prodded by a "WELL?" from Akane, headed into the house and their respective rooms.

Half an hour later, or so...

Kasumi looked at Nibiki. Nibiki looked at Kasumi. Neither of them could believe what they were wearing as it was way beyond the yakutas that they'd been wearing to temple festivals and such. The furisode that they were wearing were obviously of extremely fine and expensive silks and fabrics and obviously had been crafted for their dimensions. Definitely not off-the-rack garments.

A door further down the hallway slid back and Nodaka stepped into the hallway. At least they were sure that it might be Nodoka. The big difference was that she was wearing a very formal tomesode and was missing the usual bundled katana or the tanto stuck in her obi. In fact, she looked quite flustered as she had nothing to occupy her hands. She looked up and saw Kasumi and Nibiki staring at her, then realized that they were just as formally dressed.

"Oh, my!" they all went at the same time then giggled. Nodoka came over and joined the other two, bowing slightly. The sisters bowed back.

Another door in the hallway slid back and Akane stepped out, also wearing a beautiful furisode but one that was just a bit "more" than those worn by her sisters, featuring a uchikake with a crane motif in addition to the sky-blue colour scheme. Pushing her door shut, she smiled at them and tripped her way over and gently bowed.

"My helpers have told me that everyone is waiting downstairs or are already in the dojo, and the remaining guests are going to be here momentarily. Shall we join them?"

Nodoka nodded and smiled back. "Pardon my curiosity, but this is all very….. uh…. much for you…."

Akane nodded. "Yes, and all will become clear after lunch has been served."

Nibiki giggled and then covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Next, I suppose that you'll start cackling like Kodachi…."

Akane shook her head gently. "Actually, Kodachi was also invited for lunch, and given strict orders to behave herself. Satsuke is going to keep a close eye on her and has been equipped with a dart gun with enough tranquilizer to put a water buffalo to sleep. Poor Kuno has been told to stay away with pictures of myself and Ranko being promised as a reward for his good behavior. And no, Nibiki, you aren't going to get any copies."

NIbiki sighed. "I guess that you've secured all of my cameras."

"Oh, yes, especially the pinhole ones, as you've already found out. We have a photographer here today, so you need only enjoy yourself and you'll get pictures of everything."

Kasumi hooked her arms through the corresponding ones of her sisters and started down the hallway to the stairs. Nodoka giggled and tottered along after them.

When they reached the dojo, Akane looked around and said "Where's Ranma? And Happosai?"

The question was answered by a shout of "SWEETO!" followed by a feminine scream and then Ranko's raised voice growling, followed by the sound of running feet and then a crash that shook the dojo.

Remarkably, while Akane was the furthest away from the entrance, she was the first into the dojo, clearing everyone who was standing around and shoving Genma and her father to the side as she kicked the closed door off of its track and stepped inside the building, followed by everyone else.

Ranma, or rather Ranko, was standing in front of Happosai, who was jammed against the wall beside her mother's butsudan, with the tanto from the shrine resting on Happosai's throat and the katana held in a ready-to-strike position.

"Come on, old man! Make one move and I'll separate your PERVERTED head from the rest of your PERVERTED little body! By the Kami, I promise. One move! You just couldn't suck it up and behave yourself for one day, could you? You had to grope one of the waiting staff from the caterers! Now the police are going to get called and you know what will happen? Besides you getting a 'time out' at the local police station until you escape and go on some training trip for a couple of months until things cool off, have you given any thought to the impact that this little stunt of yours will have on the School of Anything Goes? Genma and Suon have been busting their butts trying to attract more students, and you pull something like this? You think that any ladies or girls are going to come, even if their lessons are free? Go ahead! Make one move and so help me Kami, I don't care if I soak this kimono in blood, you WILL pay the price!"

Ranko was not only glowing with his battle rage but it had flowed down both blades, making both look even more sharp and deadly.

Akane walked up behind Ranma and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Shhhhhh! It's okay, Ranko. Just settle down and let Happosai breath. It's not worth it. Taking his head will not solve the problems, it'll just make them worse, massively. Come on, settle down…"

Looking over his or rather her shoulder, Ranko whispered, "why are you so calm and collected? Normally, you'd be yelling about me being perverted in addition to Happosai, and waving your chi-mallet around and hitting me."

Akane nodded towards Happosai. "Yeah, but today's different and we, or rather I, don't need it destroyed with the police initiating a murder investigation as well as one for a sexual assault."

Ranko stepped back and lowered the weapons. Pointing the tanto at Happosai, he growled, "Do not give me a reason to regret this, Grand Master Happosai. As of right now, I am a hair's-breadth from packing in everything and chucking the whole school, and tendering my resignation by offing your sorry excuse for an ass. Consider that when you're down at the police station."

Stepping further back, he hooked his foot on the sheath for the katana, and flipped it into the air, then sliding the blade into it without really looking at the sword or sheath, releasing the blade and grabbing the sheath, then inserting it through his obi, all in one smooth sequence without even glancing at where the various items were. He then stooped to pick up the tanto's sheath without even glancing at where the sheath was laying and slammed the blade into it and then stuffed that into his obi alongside the katana, all the while glaring at Happosai, who stayed in exactly the same position until Ranma stepped over to the butsudan and placed the blades back into their original positions, then bowed deeply before it.

Happosai relaxed fractionally and then adjusted his neck and swallowed deeply, then bowed towards Akane. "Excuse me, I'll just go over there and wait for the police." He then stepped around Akane and then moved to the back of the dojo, pulled up a cushion and then sat down and went into a meditative posture.

A hand gently came down on Akane's shoulder and she turned to see Ranma looking at her. "I'll go over and check on Happosai's victim and call the police. My cellphone is buried in here somewhere."

Akane stood and watched as Ranma walked off, his battle aura dropping away from him like water from leaves, and really becoming the lady that would be wearing the jūnihitoe kimono if the normal Wrecking Crew craziness hadn't kicked off. Ranma bowed and talked quietly to the young lady groped by Happosai and then to the major domo who was organizing everything. Ranma surreptitiously reached into his sleeve and pulled out a smallish inro and pressed it into the hands of the young lady, who stood up and bowed to Rankjo. Akane made a small smile as she caught sight of the netsuke hanging from the inro, a more than passing copy of Ranko, wearing a kimono half-falling off of her shoulders.

Akane watched as Ranma looked like he was pulling a cellphone out of his obi, but actually extracting it from a chi-pocket. He quickly made the call and then put the phone away in the self-same pocket, this time without trying to be subtle about it. He looked over at Akane, nodded and then went over to the spot where he was supposed to be seating and then lowered himself unto the zabuton, and adjusted his garments, looking more like a noblewoman who had to chastise a butler for dropping a vase. Akane couldn't decide between snickering or giggling, so the two came out at the same time. Ranko looked up at her, shrugged and seemed to sink into meditation and ignored everything happening around her.

Akane walked over to the major domo and the groped young lady, who were now quietly talking. Coughing gently, she introduced herself and started. "Ah, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. The police have been called and will be here shortly. Sir, if you wish to cancel the contract for today and leave, I will not hold it against you and will honour the original contract. Miss, I'd like to know what you'd like to do. I mean, not about you talking to the police about Happosai, but what you want to do after you've talked to the police. If you want to go home, I will cover any and all expenses…."

The young lady in question smiled and then bowed. "I completely understand, as my manger has been describing to me what the company's response to this incident will be." She giggled a bit, then covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Sorry, but this is the first time that this sort of thing has happened to me, so I'm not at my best. I'd like to finish my day, but I'm not sure if I can…."

Akane looked past her to where Happosai was seated, now surrounded by everyone else from the household as well as the other guests. Her glare went straight to the Grand Master and he looked up then looked at the floorboards in front of him, but studiously ignoring what was taking place around him. Gathering her thoughts around her like a coat, she returned her attention to the young lady and the major domo.

Sargent Imia with The Book tucked under his arm stepped into the dojo and looked around. Spotting Akane, he strode over and did a short bow and salute. "Ranko said that I should be talking to you."

Akane quickly brought him up to speed on what had happened and introduced the young lady. "Ah," Sargent Imia intoned after taking a quick glare in Happosai's direction. "A non-martial artist. I must say, Master Happosai, this sets a new low for you. In front of witnesses, too.' Passing The Book to Akane, he pulled out his police notebook, flipped it open to the next available page, checked his watch for the time and started taking notes, asking for details occasionally or repeating comments made earlier for clarification and validation, he detailed the event up to and including the actual assault. Flipping the page, he started recording Ranko's reaction and the ensuing action with the sword and tanto.

Taking a good look at Ranko/Ranma, his eyebrows climbed as he took in the current dress being worn and muttered "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". Everyone in the room, including the major domo and the groped young lady snickered and nodded. Ranko sighed, stood up and then walked over and bowed to the Sargent.

"I apologize, Ranko. It just slipped out."

"Apology accepted, Sargent. I lost it when the Grand Master groped this young lady. As a martial artist, I was raised to protect the innocent and the helpless. Having the Grand Master of the Anything Goes School of Indiscriminate Grappling do something like that in front of me and te invited guests, many of who are also non-martial artists…."

Sargent Imia nodded and took notes. "I assume that the sword and tanto in the butsudan are the weapons in question?" and pointed his pen in the direction of the shrine. Ranko nodded. A few more pen scratches took place as he recorded the fact.

The Sargent nodded as if confirming his opinion and snapped his notebook closed, tucked it away in his breast pocket and held his hand out to Akane, who suddenly realized that he was requesting The Book which was still in her arms. She extended it out to him with both hands and he gently removed it and opened it to Ranma's page and made some notes, then opened it to the very full pages for Happosai and took more notes. Closing the book with a snap, he stuck it under his arm.

He looked at Ranko and stated: "Ranko, while you have used sword and tanto, you did so in the defense of a civilian following an assault on her person. You are deemed to not be at fault, but are being cautioned not to make a habit of such activities."

Turning to Happosai, he stated "Grand Master Happosai, you have committed an unprovoked assault on the body and person who is not a martial artist. Consider yourself to be under arrest and you will accompany me to the station where you will be formally charged and taken into custody. Do you understand this?"

Happosai nodded, sighed and looked at Akane. "Akane, I apologize for having disturbed the reisei of the dojo and your gathering. I apologize that I must now leave."

Sargent Imia nodded and did a short bow in Happosai's direction Looking back to the young lady, he bowed again. "Miss, while you need to come to the station to sign the formal complaint, you can do so at your convenience. I'm sure that Akane here can provide you with an escort or transportation…" Akane nodded as did the major domo.

Bowing to the young lady again, he finished. "Well, I'd love to stay and see why everyone, including the Amazons are all dressed so fancily but I have my duties to perform. Come along, Master Happosai."

Happosai stood and walked over to the door, followed by Sargent Imia. After the Sargent had left, the young lady looked confused.

Akane leaned over and provided the information. "That book that Sargent Imia was writing in is a list of all the martial artists in Nerima. If the offense is great enough, such as Master Happosai refusing to accompany the Sargent, or he escapes from jail or doesn't complete his punishment, the word goes out to all the merchants in Nerima and he won't be able to get any food or accommodations, and the same would apply to any other martial artists who assisted him. Even the least of the martial artists in this room right now could remove any handcuffs put on us and walk out of the police station. It's only pride and the threat of empty stomachs and The Book that Sargent Imia is carrying today that is keeping Happosai in line."

The major domo leaned over, and whispered "all the food that we brought was for lunch for sixteen, now fifteen, martial artists and a few other other invited guests, plus all of us."

"Oh, my!" she murmured. "You wouldn't want all that to go to waste." Two of the maiko came over at Akane's gesture.

"Please go with these two maiko, and they'll get you properly dressed for lunch, and I'll introduce you to your table-mates, all of who can help you, okay?"

The young lady nodded and then bowed to Akane and her manager, and then followed them out of the dojo. Akane turned to the major domo and smiled. "Guess that we should get everyone seated and started on lunch before anything else comes howling out of the woodwork."

He nodded and waved at the other members of his staff. The geishas and remaining maikos started towards their assigned duties as Akane headed for her guests.

Ten minutes later…..

The two maikos accompanied their fellow worker back into the dojo, now swaddled in another furisode from Akane's collection and brought her to the table that Akane was standing at.

Akane looked over and smiled. "Ah, Mikoto-sama. Please be introduced to Doctor Tofu Ono who is a chiropractor and Japanese/Chinese medicine specialist, Doctor Mariko Konjo who is a psychologist who's just put up her shingle and specializes in treating martial artists as she is one herself, and Misters Kinjiro and Touma Fukushima who are lawyers that deal with my family's legal problems. Having said that, have no fear that I have any ulterior motives by seating you here. It's just a table of people associated with the family. However, if you have the need for any of their services, please make use of them and I will cover any expenses. Anyway, regardless, enjoy your lunch and watch the floor show later. It'll knock your socks off!"

Akane smiled and then turned to the guests now piling up at the dojo entrance. Standing just inside the door was Cologne and Shampoo, looking around nervously, not only from wearing their respective furisode and tomesode that matched their physiques, to the point that Cologne was not pogoing on her staff, but also that Akane was seemingly in complete charge of everything and not exploding in her usual fit of temper and mashing everything in sight.

Stopping before them, Akane smiled and then bowed. "Thank you for coming and wearing what I'd provided. I was not sure if you would come."

Shampoo looked flustered and unsure of what she wanted to say, and Cologne stepped in diplomatically. "Thank you for the invitation. You'd said that it was important that we all be here and that we set aside our differences if only for a lunch and an afternoon. I see that Happosai is out of the picture, so we should have a lot less distractions. We promise to not provoke an escalation of a situation and will not try to cause one as well. Is that sufficient?"

Akane nodded, bowed slight and said, "thank you for coming, and I will endeavor to make the day one that is interesting and very much unexpected. Ah, Uyko, thank you for coming. That furisode really does suit you."

Cologne and Shampoo, turned and were surprised to see Uyko and Konatsu both blushing and looking uncomfortable wearing proper attire for their actual sex and not cross-dressing and wearing them quite well. In fact, Konatsu and Uyko were closely matched and were just a hair off from wearing formal wedding kimonos.

Uyko gathered herself, blushing even more than she had previously, and bowed to each of those facing her. "Thank you for inviting me, Akane. As Cologne just said, so do I agree to set aside our differences and will not do anything to escalate or cause situations. Though I am surprised that you are requiring everyone to wear formal attire and then providing that attire."

A gentle cough cam from behind Uyko and Konatsu, who turned to face Kodachi Kuno, also dressed in a furisode, one sporting a subtle wash of black roses across the kimono. Sasuke accompanied her, looking distinctly uncomfortable in his non-standard-for-him formal kimono that seemed more suited to his being a groom to Kodachi's bride, though her kimono was distinctly not a bridal houmongi but looked awfully close to one.

Kodachi lifted her hand as if to stifle her usual laugh, then lowered the hand and smiled. "My congratulations, Kounji Uyko. I am surprised not only to see you here but seeing you in such formal attire and not your usual dress. Alas, I see that someone has also attired my manservant to the same levels as yours. If we were not under the terms that Tendo Akane had provided, I think that we both would be thinking that this is more than a coincidence and verging on a conspiracy."

Uyko looked Kodachi and Sasuke up and down and then nodded and bowed to a formal level. "If you are willing to accept coincidence, so am I, Kuno Kodachi."

Kodachi bowed back.

Akane smiled (almost smirked) and then waved the path to where the threesome couples were to be seated. "Please come this way. I tried to arrange seating so that everyone would be able to see everyone else. Unfortunately, it seems to mimic the arrangement for a wedding interview, which is not the intent." With this, she lead their way to the long table that sat at the front of the dojo, running parallel to the one currently occupied by Ranko. The arrival of his three other fiancees was not lost on her, who barely kept her expression of semi-indifferenece. When the other sat down and then bowed towards her in recognition, she bowed back in just as a formally neutral manner.

Akane smiled in having accomplished a near-miracle in getting everyone seated without sparking an argument or worse, and then headed to the door to welcome the next set of arrivals.

An hour and a half later…..

Akane felt the breath of a breeze behind her as Doctor Konjo slid in behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. Akane looked over her should and sighed. "Yes, not the greatest of luncheons was it, Mariiko?"

"Ah, I was going to suggest that you move on to the main event as everyone is getting to be very nervous about what will be happening. They've been very impressed by everything but are starting to wonder if this is a massive prank or something worse. Even your fellow fiances, including Ranko, have been trying to keep from sliding into trap-and-battle mode."

Akane looked over the tables. "Well, dessert's been served and everyone is as relaxed as they're going to get. Dad and Uncle Genma seem to be very relaxed, judging from the expressions on Auntie Nodoka and Kasumi. Well, might as well start the countdown and give everyone their gifts."

Akane stood and caught the eye of the major domo and the head maiko and gave them a quick sticky eye expression. They nodded and disappeared to perform their roles in the final act of the day.

She then stepped in front of the batsudan and bowed to the shrine and then turned and faced everyone at the tables scattered over the dojo. When the room was silent, she deeply bowed and started into her speech.

"Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for taking time from your busy day to have lunch with me. This is actually a celebration event and all will become clear shortly. For those of you who are concerned that your kimonos are rentals and have to be returned in immaculate condition, I apologize. I should have been clearer: these are yours to keep and enjoy in the future."

When the murmur of conversation died down, she continued. "I have recently come into some good fortune and decided to share it with my friends as well as the neighbours and acquaintances as a token for having put up with the last several years."

"In addition to providing lunch and your attire for the event, I have a number of gifts for specific people who have figured in my life. Don't worry, none of these are pranks or are intended as insults. Also, with the help of the Fukashima brothers, I have also made arrangements to pay all the taxes for today. If you do get a tax bill for today's gifts, please contact them and they will make it disappear. Okay, on with the gifts."

"Miss Hinako," looking at the young lady in the somewhat tight furisode, having absorbed a fairly massive dose of chi from all the martial artists surrounding her. "Thank you for putting up with all of the antics from myself and Ranma over the last years, what with Kuno and the Hentai Horde, the challenges and the rival fiances. I thought about what I could do to make an impact on your life for the better and really could not com up with anything except to help you with your professional development as well as a small token. You will shortly be receiving a letter for an all-expenses first-class trip to the hot spring spa of your choice as well as funding for a year of advanced training. Thank you for your patience, your teaching and your examples over the years." Akane bowed and received one in return.

"Yuka and Sayuri, Makoto and Shikako, my classmates as long as we have been going to school. We've gone through ups and downs together, boyfriends or the lack of same. I would like to contribute towards whatever career or post-secondary education you decide upon. I'm not going to say how much, but it will be sufficient for a local college or university, and maybe a year at Tokai, depending upon what you decide to do." The squeals from that table drowned out any response from Akane.

"Doctor Ono. You have always been there for my family over the years. I'll admit that I've enven had a very serious crush on you, one that you never returned due to your crush on my sister Kasumi. I would like to pay my family's and the Tendo family's bills in full a well as putting aside a fund in anticipation of future needs. I also want to address your very peculiar reaction to my sistem Kasumi as this is really impacting your capabilities as a doctor and our fellow patients. I have set aside sufficient funds for you to go to Doctor Konjo and resolve your reactions to and your relationship with my sister. I have also set aside a fund for any needed improvements to your clinic as well as vacations or a honeymoon if that really is in the future. Sorry, but no refunds, returns or exchanges are allowed."

"Speaking of Kasumi….. Sister, I thank you for everything that you've done for us and especailly me since our mother died. I kniow that you've set your dreams aside for our sake. I'd like to give you back those dreams. I've set aside sufficient funds for you to get yourself new clothes, not Mother's old clothes that you seem to be always wearing. Also, there are enough funds for you to finish high school as well as to get the nursing or medical degree that you want. I've seen the books that you've been borrowing from Doctor Ono, so you really have not excuse to give up on that dream. If you decide to stay as a perfect mother and housewife, I want that to be a decision that you have made for yourself, not had forced on you by circumstances that you have had no control over.'

"Well, we can't leave out my other sister out. NIbiki, you sacrificed a lot more for the sake of the family, and have been the one to make sure that we keep a roof over our heads. It's only how you went about that that most people including myself have issues with. There's not much that I can do to restore your reputation from what you've done in the past. I can only help you going forward. For that I have set aside sufficient funds so that you do not have to run your various schemes to raise funds. I've also set aside your university tuition and covered the cost of accommodations if you decide to go elsewhere to study. If you decide on Tokai, I know that your skills at squeezing the blood out of every yen will stand you in good stead without having to sacrifice your integrity and honour."

"Hibiki Ryoga. You are one of the most powerful martial artists here in Nerima, as shown by your having mastered several techniques that you learned under the tutelage of the Amazon Elder Cologne, that is exceeded only by two of your three main faults. One, you tend to be pig-headed and carry a grudge way beyond what is reasonable or even humourous. Second, you have a double-dose of your family lack of a sense of direction. This has gotten you into more situations that it even boggles the brains of trained martial artists. For the first and second faults, I have arranged with Doctor Konjoto help you with them. For the second fault, I am giving you the most advanced GPS dervice available, one that can be easily recharged with a small solar panel so you can attach to your backpack as well a univeral power convertor. The GPS also gives you direcgtion and distance to selected destination as well as giving you your local position such as country and nearest large city. Since your inability to remain in one location for extended period has interfered with your education, I have arranged with a correspondence school to provide you with the needed learning materials to gain your high school and even college or univeristy equivalence as well as mentoring to help you develop a career that makes use of your very unique disability or help you to minimize it. I am also providing you with an education fund as well as a drawign account so you will never to again have to resort to dehydrated ramen as you basic food staple. Finally, about your third fault: I know about the pig. Think on that and learn to live accordingly."

Sighing, Akane looked at her father and the Saotomes.

"Father, I know how Mother's death affected you back then and is still affecting you. I've arranged with Doctor Konjo for you to talk with her and to get the help that you need in moving forward. This does not mean that you will forget Mother but you will be in better control of those feelings such that you fall victim to. I've also put aside funds needed to fully restore the house, dojo and property until you and Uncle Genma can get the dojo running properly and are earning a proper income. Bad news is that those funds will be under the control of Kasumi and Nibiki to prevent you from pouring them into sake bottles or any of Uncle Gemnma's schemes."

"Uncle Genma. Aunti Nodoka. I'll tell Uncle Genma his bad news first. You get nothing. Your various schemes have been at the root of all of the chaos here at the Tendo dojo since you arrived. You will not be given any funds that you can drink or wench or gamble away. I have paid off your debts and set aside funds to pay for any future fiance claims in the future. The only income that you have will come from your odd job and the Ono clinic or through the dojo from teaching. Aunti Nodoka, I know how you've struggled with Uncle Genma taking Ranma on that be-damned training trip and all the chaos. I've arranged to have your house restored to your requirements and have arranged for your to have full title to that property. I've also arranged for a small fund to supplement your income, and have arranged for time with Doctor Konjo for counseling to help you with your issues with honour and manliness, which all appear to be focused around Genma and that training trip."

"Which leaves us with Ranma and the fiances. And me. Chaos personfied. I can see the wheels turning in their heads - she's trying to buy me off so she can have Ranma." "Wrong! As much as I'd like to, I've thought about this long and hard and have come up with a solution that helps all of us. You see, two of Ranma's problems is his sense of honour and not wanting to hurt anyone. That's resulted in his indecisiveness to actually making up his mind one way or the other. You see, he really does care about all of us, even Kodachi. To that end, I'm going to provide the means for them to consider everything and to not be held up by lack of funds, education or help. I can't solve everything but I fan help. I've arranged the following for each of you: I've paid off any and all honor debts or lost dowries, have set up for counseling with Doctor Konjo to help you work through all of your issues, have set up funds for you to get any needed education for your chosen careers, and have taken the necessary steps to deal with your any issues that would interfere with you making a clear-headed decision."

Akane walked over to the dojo doorway and faced everyone.

"Ah, I can see it in your eyes: 'what about Akane?' Well, you see, this lunch, the clothing, the gifts that I've given, the taxes that I've prepaid on, your behalf… All this is less than a quarter of what I've received."

NIbiki leaped to her feet, or rather as quickly as she could considering the amount of cloth making the kimono that she was wearing and pointed her finger at Akane. "You! You! You're the Twenty Billion Yen Girl! The one that the papers have been talking about for the last year!"

Everyone was suddenly talking or just sitting there gob-smacked. Akane finally got everyone to quiet and responded to her sister.

"Ah, Nibiki, trust you to figure out that. Actually…the press had it wrong. It's not TWENTY but FOURTY. At least that's my share."

NIbiki, who had just taken a glass of water from the table and was half-way though a swallow, spit-taked over Genma, triggering a curse-change. The panda then fell backwards with a mumbled "GWORF!?" and held up a sign saying "40?"

It took a full minute for the pandemonium to settle.

Akane signed and looked over everyone. "Yep! Fourty, and it all started when my pen-pal in Canada bought me a lottery ticket for my birthday. Had the single winning number for a prize of twenty million Canadian dollars , that's 1700 million yen. Well, stupid us, we decided to keep on buying tickets, or at least a thousand dollars more in the various lotteries in Canada. Won again, Five million dollars plus lots of second and third places. We did this for a month, and wound up with about sixty million dollars. We decided to go international and played some of the US, European and Japanese lotteries. Well, within the next six months, we'd managed to trigger the must-be-cheating alerts for all of Canada, United States, Europe and Japan, who all have asked the two of us to stop playing their lotteries. Even the Yakuza, and the various Mafia organizations. AND all the government treasury departments. All agreed on two things: we had won fairly and honestly and not using any form of marital arts technique, and the only conclusion is that some Kami or god had been playing loose with the laws of probability to have a lot of fun with a lot of people, least of all the two of us. We gave a massive amount of our winnings to charities, gave the Yakuza, Mafia and the governments a cut of the rest, and the two of us wound up with around fourty billion yen each tax-free."

Two Maiko came up and helped Akane out of the uchikake. A third maiko came up and stood behind Akane.

Akane continued. "So where does that leave me? My first stop was Doctor Konjo, to help me deal with my feelings of guilt over my amazingly good fortune, and also my anger, and my feelings and relationships with Ranma, Ranko, the other fiances and my family. To the latter, I have a simple answer. NO. I decline the arranged marriage as both Ranma and I are not ready for such a move and may never be. Couple that with Ranma's ongoing lack of a decision on any of the four fiances and never actually saying that he loved one or the other of us in public. This may dishonor me in the eyes of my family, my friends and my community, but I cannot continue living a life that makes my so unhappy and which I could see no way of resolving it outside of my death or becoming a brainless doll of myself, giving up all hopes and desires for just remaining standing still. So, for now, this is farewell. I may see you again in the future but not for some time."

Looking over her shoulder, Akane nodded to the maiko, who pulled out a tanto from her obi, raised it high and brought the blade down the back of Akane.

Akane shrugged and the kimono fell down her arms and unto the floor, the back of which had been sliced between neck and waist, revealing Akane in a tight gym leotard. Akane stepped out of the remains of the kimono, stepped into a pair of sneakers and then pulled a small backpack from beside the doorway unto her shoulders. She then bowed to everyone and then sprinted down the stairs, across the lawn and over the wall, her footsteps sounding along the pavement into the distance.

Six and a half hours later…..Ōizumi-gakuen Station, Nerima

Akane felt the breath of a breeze behind her as a massive sense of Deja-vu washed over her. A quick glance at the surrounding area showed no one paying attention to her, as did a review of her Chi senses. Hearing a polite cough, she turned her head to the other end of the bench that she was sitting on to see another young lady about her same age, looking a bit embarrassed as she pointed the the back-pack sitting taking the remainder of the bench.

"Excuse me, is that yours?" the young lady asked.

Akane started, realizing that she'd pretty well had nodded off. "Sorry, here, let me move it." she said as she easily shifted the large pack unto the floor and between her feet.

The young lady sighed and shucked her backpack off and assumed a similar position to Akane's at the other end of the bench. She glanced between the pack at her feet and the one between Akane's. "Either you're a martial artist on a training trip or you're running away" came her succinct remark.

Akane straightened up and took a hard look at her benchmate. "And what leads you to that question?" came the slightly catty response.

The young lady turned towards Akane and smilled. "Easy. Apply basic knowledge and logic: big pack, with lots of sharp corners meaning books and or boxes. You easily picked it up so it is either very light or very heavy. The clunk that it made when you set it down on the floor indicates that weight is moderate to heavy. Ergo, you are a martial artist who relies on strength - a ground-based school probably. The bag itself indicates that it was recently purchased as there are very few wear marks. It's mid-term so you can't be a university student. Your clothing is sturdy-looking but not inexpensive. Ergo, training trip, going away to live with relatives or running away. Since you are by yourself and do not look particularly unhappy but not sad would indicate the first and third options. Clothes being sturdy as for rough use would indicate against moving to be with relatives unless said relatives are on a farm."

Akane smiled and said"you know what I'm about to say, don't you?"

The other girl laughed "What? No shit, Sherlock?", the latter bit if full-fledged snarky teenager attitude and sarcasm with fists on hips.

Akane laughed and then reached her hand over. "Akane."

The other young lady returned the favour and said "Most call me Shan or Xian, but I answer to 'Kitty' with my friends."

Both stopped and then felt each other's hand in their own grasp. Realizing what they were doing, the both laughed. Akane regained control first. "Ah, you've done martial arts yourself."

"Yes, it runs in my family, mostly in the female line." She sighed at this point.

"Sounds like family is part of your problems," Akane observed.

Kitty nodded and looked sad. "Not the way that you're probably thinking. I got myself into a marriage agreement with no way of my being able to back out without losing massive amounts of face and honor. My fiance was reluctant to fulfill the agreement. In fact, it reached the point where my clan got involved and I was given a set of choices, none of which are acceptable to me or my great-grandmother who's the only one in my family to stand up against the will of the clan. So, I'm off to study in another city until things get resolved one way or the other. Of course, my family and clan won't know where I'll be so I've gone ronin."

Akane nodded. "It's an arranged marriage for me. What no one expected was for another three fiances to pop out of the woodwork, plus all sorts of chaos from additional fiances, challenges and the occasional kami or wannabe-kami thrown in for variety. The odd thing is, I think that I could have been friends with the other two main fiances, maybe even the third. However, everyone seemed to dig in their heels and there was no give anywhere from anyone. Then I had a lottery win that helped me plan to get away and really do something for myself rather than me filling a role that others had given me: dutiful daughter, dojo master, wife… No room for Akane to be Akane. So where are you off to?"

"Don't laugh, it's a school for maikos. My clan looks down on them with a vengeance, thinks that they are traitors to women. And don't get them started on geishas. Attitude is about 200 years out of date and think that they are prostitutes or worse."

Akane nodded. "I've meet some recently, skilled in martial arts, too."

Kitty nodded and tapped a pocket. "Have an invitation that my family and clan know nothing about, not even my great-grandmother. My funds are just about untraceable and I can supplement my income with the odd odd job like delivery services. Of course, the school will probably give me a list of do-not items. SIGH Just going to have to wait and see. Well, Akane, what about you?"

Akane sighed. "That's the rub. NO real plan beyond bailing and getting away. I've got money to last some time, but the more that I use, the easier it will be for me to be chased down. Got some plans and resources to push that off but it all comes back to money moving around. So, the life of student for me for the next while. Wonder if your maiko school has room for a total kitchen-wrecking klutz who can't boil water?"

Kitty snickered. "I don't believe that about you, you're too too good a martial artist not to be that bad."

Akane stopped he laugh and quirked an eyebrow at her companion, then leaned forward and took a hard look at her face and then her hairline, then leaned back. "you got me, Sham or should I say Shampoo?"

The young lady collapsed and settled back. "Damn! Got too comfortable and fell back into the old habits of playing the dumb Amazon….." Tears crept out of her eyes and she sniffled.

Akane slid across and wrapped her arm around Shampoo's shoulders. "Want to explain things to me?"

Shampoo shrugged and looked up at Akane. "My supposed troubles with speaking Japanese was just an act, initially to put Ranma at ease, and then later at the Nekohanten to earn extra tips. I'm really good at languages but hide that so that others feel at ease and superior. Good ploy when you're a spy as others will have expectations on how you will speak and behave and you are able to do the opposite when they least expect it. Not so great when you're trying to make friends or catch a husband."

"What I've told you is true. The Elder's Council has decided that I am not going to win Ranma or even his genes and they issued a direct order: either secure the boy or the genes or come back in a cat carrier, and get it done by the next full moon. Great-grandmother also got her marching orders: be the one to bring me back or face the wrath of the Council. Great-Gran tried to get the orders reversed but our absence has broken many of the influences that she had with the Council before we came to Nerima, and that's when we found about your efforts to resolve the fiance situation. No, the attempt did not spark the council's actions, it came after the decision had been made."

She sniffled and patted her pockets looking for tissues, then fished in a chi-pocket for a packet and pulled it out, then blowing her nose and wiping her eyes.

Akane focused on one small comment. "Why do you have to return in a cat carrier? Are they afraid that you'll become a ronin and run for the hills? Or is it to further embarass you at your failure?"

"A lot of the latter," replied Shampoo. "I was always the best-of-the-best and they wanted revenge for all the slights over the years. What I am facing was running the gauntlet at the Valley of Sorrows, where I would have to run for my life with no weapons and at least one of the crowd having dipped water from at least one of the Springs. Even if I would win my way through the gauntlet, I would still be locked into my animal form for the rest of my life or made pregnant and become a brood mare for the Musk or both."

She sighed. "It was Great-Gran who said that I should turn ronin and find somewhere to hide from the Council. There are other Amazons who've done this in the past and are living in Japan. They might be willing to help me, just not now when the Council is determined on this course. It was at your lunch that I had a conversation with one of the maiko and was given her card and an invitation to join the school when she found out about the council and its order. Great-Gran made sure that all of my savings went to your lawyers to be added to the funds that you'd provided, so she can honestly say that she doesn't know where I am or where my money has gone."

Shampoo smiled weakly. "So here we are, both running away. I know that you probably don't trust me but I'm putting my trust in you. Even the clue of the maiko school would be enough to have them chasing me down. And they would be coming at me with every warrior out for my blood and no mercy for anyone found with me."

Akane frowned. "Well what can we do, swear a blood brotherhood or sisterhood or something like that?"

Shampoo went gob-smacked then blushed. "OK, there is but it's really going to push your hentai button. It's called shield-sisters, and it means that we totally trust each other and share everything, even our loves and battles."

Akane looked thoughtful. "Why do I get this feeling that there is a big BUT hanging around out there. Well?"

Shampoo looked embarrassed. "OK, but don't forget that you asked and I warned you. Here goes. We. Share. Everything."

Akane thought about it and then glomed on to the wrong facts. "You mean like the Fourty Billion Yen? That's OK."

Shampoo sighed and rolled her eyes. "Think about it, Akane. NO it's NOT the money. It's everything that we share."

Akane looked blankly. "I really am not getting this."

"Oh ye gods! Do I have to draw pictures?" Holding up one hand in an OK sign, she started poking her forefinger in and out of the thumb and forefinger circle. "I have an itch, you scratch. You have the same itch, I scratch. Either of us find someone else to scratch our itch, the other is there to cheer them along and take your turn when someone gets tired…. THAT sharing! Kami! Are you that slow or innocent?"

Akane got really embarrassed and started on a slow boil when she finally clued in. She then grabbed the front of the bench and took some long deep slow breaths. "OK, OK. I get it and I'm not going to go off on a temper tantrum. I'm good! I'm good!"

Taking one long deep breath, Akane closed her eyes and drew another. Opening her eyes, she looked at Shampoo and said. "Mikoto did say that I have lesbian tendencies that I rebel against and need to work upon. That's behind me now. So, how do we do the shield-sisterhood thing? We draw blood and stick our fingers together and pledge eternal trust and love, right?"

Shampoo snickered. "Well, sort of. I think that we're going to have to find a love hotel or get our own room at some point. If you're not up to that yet, I'm willing to take it easy. It's really the trust part that we have to work on first."

"You sure on that? This isn't some perverted twisted plot to get me to give you Ranma?"

"Absolutely! Amazon's Honor, or what's left of it for me to give. If I get pregnant by Ranma, you'll be just as pregnant."

"Good, I'll take that! Besides, I don't think that I could carry on with the blockhead Akane routine any longer without breaking up and giving it away. Hello, Shampoo! Nice to meet you. Would you like to be my friend?"

Shampoo shook her head and then reached out and took Akane's hand. "Yes, Akane. It is nice to meet you and I very much would like to be your friend."