Chapter 1 – The Beginning of the End.
JPOV
And then a single drop of blood slid onto the carpet. I had subconsciously wandered closer to Bella than usual in curiosity about her present and I was much too close to her. Her sweet floral scent was already starting to permeate into my brain. Bloodlust shot into the air from the five other vampires in the room and it only fuelled my own thirst. I shut my brain down instinctively and cut off my unneeded air supply.
Excess venom pooled in my mouth and the thought of tasting her blood was driving me crazy, teasing me with what I desperately craved for. Why did she have to smell so damn good? I mentally groaned. I was already getting ready to back off when I felt a surge of protectiveness and fear and hazily registered somebody roar with despair, "NO" and then saw Edward crash into Bella flinging her onto the table. Her arm made contact with the broken pile of glass she had landed in. The broken grass sliced easily through Bella's fragile skin and blood slowly started trickling out of her arm. The sight of it made me see red.
I took an unnecessary intake of air. Bella's floral scent hit me so hard I could've staggered back, and suddenly everyone was incredibly thirsty, I tried to over-ride everyone's bloodlust but it was damn well near impossible. Bella's blood now pooling on the floor and the thirst of five 'vegetarian' vampires was enough to send me into a crazy frenzy of blood lust. My legs brought me forward in the next microsecond and I crashed into Edward. My teeth were snapping maniacally mere inches away from his face, but I was beyond reason. I was a predator and Bella was my prey.
Growls erupted from my chest and in my head I had already pictured me sinking my mouth into her jugular and piercing her soft skin easily and her sweet nectar flowing into my throat. Cooling that thirst that was never quenched from feeding off animals. I swallowed the venom that had flowed into my mouth from the thought of draining Bella. The only thing in my way was Edward. I tried to shove past him unsuccessfully. Emmett had my hands locked in an iron grip in the next second. I struggled on, my eyes locked squarely on Bella.
Carlisle had now stepped in and calmly ordered Emmett and Rose to take me out of the room in a voice that rang with authority from centuries of the emergency room. "Come on Jasper" Emmett said in an almost soothing tone. But I was beyond soothing. I was still beside myself with blood thirst and my eyes were wild and locked on Bella's small frame. Emmett tugged, well dragged me out of the room with Rose trailing behind him occasionally helping wrestle me out the door. Esme was opening the door with one hand pressed over her mouth and nose. Esme's face was stricken with shame. What am I doing? I froze in horror. As soon as we were out the door, Emmet released his grip enough for me to shrug him off. I needed to get away, to hunt. I ran away from what remained of Bella's stupid party, I ran away from the feelings of disappointment and shame, I ran away from the colossal disaster I had just caused.
I pounced after a mountain deer and caught it swiftly. I bit down on his jugular and blood spurted into my mouth. Only after I had drained a few more mountain deer had my mind started to register what I had been staring at with blood thirsty eyes. Bella had looked so fragile, so terrified, and so breakable. Bella should never have to see that, to see the monster that I tried so hard to overcome. After years of training, how easily it should spring to the surface now. How one drop of blood could turn me into a ravenous monster I have tried so hard to turn away from. I sank onto a rock and vaguely noticed I was a mess. My clothes were ripped and my hair was matted with dry blood and dirt. I dropped my head into my hands. I just sat there and welled in my self-pity and disgust. Would Alice hate me for trying to drain her best friend? Would I have to return to the Cullens and have them look down on me in pity again? What would Bella think of me now? Would Edward ever forgive me for trying to drink his mate's blood? So much for self control. All these questions seemed to pound into my head over and over again. I chastised myself for not having the self control to resist one stupid drop of blood and for being so damn weak.
When I finally came back to the house, the overwhelming feelings of pity, disgust and shame seem to crash over me like waves, threatening to pull me under. Edward came back to the house announcing our departure from Forks. Of course, Alice had already seen his decision and the impact it would have on Bella. "It will destroy her, she will die without us!" she yelled at Edward uncharacteristically. "Alice, stop being melodramatic. We're not good for her. She'll find someone else to make her happy," Edward grimaced and I felt his pain just as clearly as it was mine, but then he composed his voice to speak in a calm façade, "she'll live to a ripe old age and will die in her bed. The normal way, the way it should happen if monsters like us didn't exist".
Frustrated, Alice turned her rage onto me; I always thought Alice was beautiful when she was mad but the way her voice seemed to contort and quiver with anger and disgust made my dead heart sink. She couldn't believe that I could try and kill her best friend. And I couldn't either. I let her bang her tiny fists against my chest uselessly. The Alice I had known and loved for so long hated me. The pain I felt at this point was overwhelming. I hadn't realised that I was projecting until Alice cried out in pain and crumbled to the floor. I immediately snapped out of it and reached for her. She cringed away from my touch in revulsion. "I'm sorry Alice", I groaned pathetically "Tell me what I can do to make it better."
She was on her feet in the next second; she glared at me with clear disgust and fury. "Nothing" she spat "you've done enough". I flinched from her acid tone. My figurative heart was just as dead as my real one now. "I…" I trailed off hopelessly. "Leave" ordered Alice with such finality that my shoulders slumped over and I hung my head in shame. I packed what little things I had and left. I was going to start again, start afresh. I was no longer Jasper Cullen, I was now Jasper Whitlock.