A/N I really needed a little Finchel fantasy because the reality is kinda depressing me...but reviews would also cheer me up :)
She could never really tell the difference between reality and fantasy, because her life had always been about one or the other. She had always been able to define her reality by her dreams, she always had an end goal.
She had lived like this her entire life and she saw no reason to change. At least not until he happened. The day that Finn Hudson walked into her life was the day Rachel Berry stopped being able to define herself.
She had known it was completely ridiculous to throw everything she had into something she couldn't really have.
Until she could.
When Finn said those three magical words to her, he threw her world into another tailspin.
To say that she was shocked was an utter understatement, in fact that declaration had rendered her momentarily speechless, and that was most definitely not something she was used to. Rachel Berry always had something to say.
They existed in each other's worlds almost too easily, yeah sure they hit bumps, but really he was a sweetheart and she was enamoured with him. Together it was like they created a new world, one where the jocks and the freaks could live harmoniously (yes that might be a tad dramatic, but she was Rachel Berry after all).
But then she had to ruin it all, she had to be the catalyst in her perfect world, and watching him walk away from her while she was surrounded by Christmas trees and so many happy people was enough to make her want to curl up and die.
She was trying so hard, too hard maybe, but that was only because she loved him thatmuch. And she needed him to understand, she needed him to forgive her for this like she forgave him countless times, she just needed him.
But this is where her inability to see the difference between reality and fantasy hurts her, because her fantasy world tells her that singing him a pretty song with a romantic atmosphere will make everything better, but the reality made her watch him walk away from her. Again.
She wasn't really sure what to do anymore because she was sixteen and she makes mistakes and she's always sorry, it just never seems to be enough. She keeps trying, though, because maybe that fantasy world isn't crazy, maybe that smile he gave while they were decorating Mr. Shue's tree means that reality is finally catching up.
She certainly hopes so, because with two Finn-less weeks ahead of her, she's not all that sure how much more she can take.
But she'll do it.
She'll put in the time, because she loves him just that much and the thought of two weeks is nothing compared to the lifetime she could be facing.
Time. It's that fickle barrier between her fantasy and her reality, but she understands it's a necessary one.
She knows she's made the right decision when one week into her Finn-less time he shows up at her door, heart in hand, asking her to try again.
She looks at him, really looks at him, and she sees the pain and the anguish. The loneliness and the longing. But above all else she sees the love.
She smiles her trademark beam at him and tells him of course they can, and when his lips come crashing down on hers she knows this is the moment when fantasy and reality become one.