ELIZABETH BENNET'S STOLEN KISS
Another Pride and Prejudice variation
By Ronnie Allan
Author's Note: I used many of the immortal Jane's words whenever they fit my story as, with many Pride and Prejudice variations, I wrote this story thinking what might have happened if a small change to the original plot had happened. Comments are welcome.
1.
Fitzwilliam Darcy hurried out of Netherfield Hall on his way to the stables. He told a groom to saddle a horse for him, he did not care which horse it was as these were Bingley's horses and not his own much better mounts at Pemberley. He just wanted to get away from the house before Bingley's sisters, especially Caroline, found him. He had had enough of her fawning over him over the past weeks. He just wanted some peace and quiet and was glad that he had only two more days before he would leave Hertfordshire for London and his Pemberley estate in Derbyshire. As much as he wanted to help his friend Charles Bingley settle into his newly-rented estate, there was a limit to his patience. He knew that Caroline Bingley desperately wanted to be mistress of Pemberley, but there was no way that was going to happen.
As well as the aggravation of Miss Bingley's unwelcome attentions, he had had to face the annoyance of what passed as the local gentry. Their manners were simply so rustic and even, occasionally so embarrassing, that he could barely tolerate being in their company. He especially disliked being the center of attention from mothers with unmarried daughters. He had noticed that the attention paid to him had lessened recently, but Bingley was still the victim of desperate mothers, including the insufferable Mrs. Bennet. He knew that Bingley insisted he was in love with Jane Bennet, who he had to admit was one of the most handsome women he had ever seen, but he had seen Bingley quickly fall in love with other handsome women many times before. None of those other infatuations had lasted for more than a few days or weeks at most. If he had seen Miss Bennet return Bingley's regard in any way, he would be less sure of trying to get Bingley to leave Netherfield for as long as it took him to find someone more suitable. All he had seen were her gentle smiles at Bingley; certainly nothing that might suggest she returned his regard to any extent. Even though he argued with Bingley that Jane Bennet's family was completely unacceptable for someone in his position, he still could not get her younger sister Elizabeth out of his mind. Since meeting her at a local Assembly, he had begun to appreciate her keen intelligence, her subtle wit, and especially her fine eyes. He had to admit to himself that her apparent indifference to him, which bordered on antipathy, was so different from the keen attention he normally provoked, that she was very intriguing to him.
Impatient to get away from the house, he had to force himself to be patient while the horse was saddled. When the horse was ready, he jumped into the saddle, kicked the horse's flank, and set off at a canter. While he had no specific destination in mind, he unconsciously turned the horse's head to a distant open field without even realizing where he was headed. Only when he shook his head did he realize why he guided the horse to this field. This is where he had seen Elizabeth Bennet walking several times at about this hour. Elizabeth! She haunted him with her sparkling eyes and delightful conversation that often bordered on argument. She was so different from other ladies who constantly tried to flatter him and get his attention. He felt surprised at her lack of interest in him; this intrigued him. Subconsciously he wanted her to pay warmer attention to him, no matter how much he would have argued that his pride did not require her admiration.
He knew he should not go where he might see her again. No matter how much he rationalized his thoughts, he could not get her out of his dreams. He knew why he should not even think about her: she was completely out of his social class being but the daughter of a minor country gentleman, and her family exhibited such an embarrassing lack of proper behaviour and manners to be completely insufferable. But Elizabeth had bewitched him with her flashing eyes, brilliant wit, and unusual intelligence. He was glad he was leaving Netherfield to get away from her before he did something that might compromise her and mortify him.
He shook his head and slowly became aware of his surroundings when he was already a couple miles from Netherfield. This is where he had seen her on her long rambles far from her home of Longbourn. It was a fine day, sunny with little wind, perfect for a long walk. The open meadows were broken by copses of woods along the edges. He easily remembered her vigorous strides, so obviously enjoying her youth and energy. Such exuberance was just never exhibited by ladies of his class, where languorousness was the accepted norm.
Something attracted his attention by a copse over at the edge of the field, interrupting his reverie. It was a flash of colour waving at him. He rode over and was very surprised to see it was his Elizabeth in the flesh; no! not his Elizabeth, sitting on the ground. He quickly dismounted and tied the horse to a bush.
Running to her, he said "Miss Elizabeth, what's the matter? What happened?"
"Oh, Mr. Darcy. I'm so glad you came by and saw me. I tripped and hurt my ankle and cannot walk on it. Would you be so kind and ride to get help for me?"
"I cannot leave you here; that is out of the question. How much does it hurt? Do you think it might be broken? What can I do to help alleviate the pain? Here, let me wrap it with my cravat to keep it stable," Darcy said as he removed his cravat.
"It does hurt even when I am not putting any weight on it. I do not believe it is broken; likely just sprained."
Darcy knelt down beside her, "Please excuse me, but I must lift your leg to wrap your ankle to keep it from moving." He carefully lifted her leg and wrapped his cravat around her ankle, securing it to her boot. "I'll take you home on my horse. Please forgive me for this, but I have to pick you up to put you in front of the saddle."
"No, no! I could not possibly ride with you; there is not enough room for two on your saddle. If I fall off, I likely would break my ankle for sure. What else can we do except for you to ride for a carriage to take me home. No, please don't pick me up! Just ride for help."
Darcy ignored her pleas and put one arm under her back and the other under her knees. "Please excuse me, but I must pick you up."
"Mr. Darcy! You cannot! This is most unseemly."
He very gently lifted her up in his arms and walked over to the horse, unconsciously holding her close to him. The horse was a bit nervous and moved away from them.
Elizabeth had never been in such close contact with a man before, but realized how comforting it was to have someone so manly to look after her. It took her only a moment to relax in his arms and lean against him. She realized that she trusted him completely and was willing to let him look after her, which she had never done before as she prided herself for her independence. She contrasted her earlier impression of his being so haughty and disdainful with his current decisiveness in taking charge of the situation and looking after her in such a gentle manner. His immediate taking control of the situation was not something she would have expected of him as her impression had been that he deemed himself to be above the common folk of Hertfordshire. She wondered if she had misconstrued him in other aspects as well.
"Whoa boy. Easy now." Darcy gentled the horse to get it to stand still. He had to reach up to set Miss Elizabeth on the front of the saddle. He was glad it was not his own favourite mount at Pemberley, which was much bigger than this horse. He untied the horse and jumped up on the saddle, inadvertently jostling Elizabeth in so doing. He immediately put his arm around her to ensure that she did not fall. When he mounted the horse beside her, she said "Oh!" in a painful tone.
"I am sorry to put you in such an awkward situation, but I do not know how else to get you home. I could not just leave you there on the ground. Are you comfortable there?"
"Not really. Perhaps if I moved back a little." She squirmed but could not move back without jostling her ankle.
"Let me help. Please excuse me again." In their awkward positions he could not move her back. "You will have to help me. I cannot move you as we are. I hesitate to ask you to do this, but would you mind helping me by putting your arms around my neck and holding on tight so I can lift you and move you?"
"Mr. Darcy! Is there no other way?"
"I'm sorry but I cannot think of any other way. We are several miles from your home and you must be more comfortable. I do not want to do anything that might hurt your ankle more than it already is. Just turn towards me and put your arms around my neck, then hold on tight so I can lift you and move you back."
Elizabeth turned toward him to put her arms around his neck, clasping her hands together. She had to look up to him as he was so tall, even sitting in the saddle.
"Hold on tight while I lift you. There, is that better?"
Elizabeth still had her arms around his neck, looking up into his face which was just inches from her own. Darcy looked down at her and she impulsively pulled him down, kissing him, automatically closing her eyes.
Darcy was completely astonished by this but did not pull away. He quickly realized how wonderful that kiss felt and closed his own eyes, returning her kiss, chastely at first, but then more deeply. He soon realized how inappropriate their kiss was and pulled back, reluctantly releasing her lips.
Very quietly he said, "Elizabeth, we must not do this, even though this was the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt. I did not know a kiss could be so stirring. The feeling was so pleasurable that I would like to keep doing it again and again." He smiled as he said this as gently as he could, not wanting to upset her. He continued to hold her tightly against him.
Elizabeth, startled into awareness, pulled back and turned her head away from him. She was too upset to realize that he had called her Elizabeth, rather than Miss Elizabeth.
"Oh! What have I done? Why did I do that? What must you think of me?" She started to cry, sobbing into her hands, pulling away from him.
"Elizabeth, I think you are the most fascinating lady I have ever met. Please don't cry; you do not need to be so upset. I cannot tell you how wonderful that felt. I wish we could do that again and again, but we must not. Your father would not approve." He pulled her against him and put his arm around her more tightly. "Just rest there for a moment until you are all right. Now we know why kissing is forbidden except between husbands and wives; it is just too inviting for further intimacies. Elizabeth, please forgive me for speaking about this; I am still in such a state of euphoria that I cannot stop. I have never felt this way before."
Elizabeth wanted to pull away, but did not. She continued to sob even as she again realized how comforting it was to be held by him.
"Forgive me for calling you Elizabeth, but it feels so right under the circumstances. Please tell me, is this the first time you have been so close to a man?"
"Yes, of course," she whispered.
"And forgive me again, but was this your first kiss?"
"Oh yes, but please don't talk about it."
"Just one more question. Did it meet your expectations?"
"Yes, yes, yes! But you must think of me as some kind of a loose woman. I cannot believe that I did that."
"I do not think of you in any negative way; I could never think of you like that. I believe you are a wonderful, spontaneous woman; the kind I would like to have with me like this forever." Darcy urged the horse into a slow walk so as not to jostle Elizabeth's ankle. "Since you confessed your secrets to me, I feel that I owe you a confession as well. I have to confess that it is also the first time I have ever been so close to a woman. It was also my very first kiss, and yes, it exceeded my expectations. I have never imagined it would so nice. I will confess something else—it was so nice that I would like to kiss you again and again."
"But Mama always says that all men only want one thing from women; they just want to corrupt them, then leave them ruined. How can this be your first kiss? Surely you have met many women who would be only too happy to kiss you; you are very handsome."
"Do you really find me handsome? I thank you, but you are very attractive as well. Some men are as you describe, but not all. Yes, I believe I have met women who would have been willing to kiss me if I tried. I admit that when I was in university, friends took me to places where the women would have kissed me, and more, but I was so disgusted that I just left. But I wanted my first kiss to be with the one I love; the one I wanted to be with forever."
"I am so sorry I spoiled that dream for you. Please forgive me. I should not have given in to temptation." With these words, Elizabeth started to sob again.
"Elizabeth, you may not have spoiled my dream at all. You are the most wonderful woman I have ever met. I admit we do not know each other very well, but I would like to get to know you better, and I would like you to have a chance to get to know what I am really like when I am in more comfortable situations."
"How can you say that you would like to get to know me better, when you do not even like me?"
"What do you mean that I do not like you? Where did you get that idea? Of course, I like you, very much so. Even more now that I have discovered a side of you I would never had expected. You are a wonderful lady and I could never think of you in any other way."
"At the Meryton Assembly you called me only 'tolerable' and refused to dance with me!"
"Did I really say that? That was completely unforgiveable of me. If I had known you then as I know you now, I would have danced every dance with you, no matter what people thought. I can only apologize for my very impolite words and beg of you to forgive me. You are much more than just tolerable; you are beautiful.
"If you will let me explain…I very much dislike being in crowds, especially when I do not know anyone. I feel as if everyone is looking at me, assessing me and my position in society. I went to the Assembly only because Bingley insisted that he wanted to meet his new neighbours. If you recall, I danced only with the women I knew, which were Bingley's sisters. I did not know you, so I did not want to dance with you or any of the other local ladies. I do not dance often as it seems to mean that ladies and their mothers expect too much from it. Again, I can only ask for your understanding and forgiveness."
"And I heard such terrible things about you, how you refused your father's death-bed request that you help someone you knew from childhood."
"I assume you mean George Wickham? I should have known he would say something like that. Please let me tell you what actually happened. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates. His good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him, and on George Wickham, who was my father's god-son. His kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge. This was most important assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman's education. My father was not only fond of this young man's society, whose manners were always engaging; he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it.
"As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. His vicious propensities—the want of principle which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friends, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which my father could not have.
"Here again I shall give you pain—to what degree you only can tell. But whatever may be the sentiments which Mr. Wickham has created, a suspicion of their nature shall not prevent me from unfolding his real character. It adds even another motive.
"My excellent father died about five years ago; and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last very steady. In his will he particularly recommended to me to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow, and if he took orders, desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it became vacant. There was also a legacy of one thousand pounds. His own father did not long survive mine, and within half a year from these events, Mr. Wickham wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved against taking orders, he hoped I should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage in lieu of the preferment, by which he could not be benefited. He had some intention, he added, of studying the law, and I must be aware that the interest of one thousand pounds would be a very insufficient support therein.
"I rather wished, than believed him to be sincere; but at any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal. I knew that Mr. Wickham ought not to be a clergyman.
"The business was soon settled. He resigned all claim to assistance in the church were it possible he could ever be in a situation to receive it, and accepted in return three thousand pounds. All connection between us seemed now dissolved. I thought too ill of him to invite him to Pemberley, or to admit his society in town. In town I believe he chiefly lived, but his studying the law was a mere pretence, and being now free from all restraint, his life was a life of idleness and dissipation.
"For about three years I heard little of him; but on the decease of the incumbent of the living which had been designed for him, he applied to me again by letter for the presentation. His circumstances, he assured me, and I had no difficulty in believing, were exceedingly bad. He had found the law a most unprofitable study, and was now absolutely resolved on being ordained if I would present him with the living in question—of which he trusted there could be little doubt. He was well assured that I had no other person to provide for, and I could not have forgotten my revered father's intentions. You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition of it. His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances—and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others, as in his reproaches to myself. How he lived I know not.
"There was another very personal treachery undertaken by him last summer, but as it involves another person very dear to me, I cannot give you details. But please be assured it was of a very dishonourable nature. I will never forgive him for trying to harm me through such an innocent person.
"And that, Miss Elizabeth, is a faithful narrative of the events in which Mr. Wickham and I have been concerned together. What version of these events he told you, I know not, but I hope you will believe what I have told you."
Elizabeth was quite surprised by this rendering of events that were so different from what she had been led to believe from Wickham's words. She was sure that, as a gentleman, Mr. Darcy would not tell her anything other than the complete truth. Suddenly she realized that Mr. Wickham's telling her such stories about Mr. Darcy, when they had only recently met, was something that a gentleman would never do. She felt ashamed of what she had accused him. She realized just how mistaken her initial impressions of Mr. Darcy were.
"Oh, Mr. Darcy. Please forgive me for accusing you so falsely. It was inexcusable. I should have known better than to believe him. A true gentleman would never have spread such tales, especially to new acquaintances. And I had always believed that I could accurately discern people's characters. How could I have been so wrong?"
"I cannot blame you. You were misled by someone who is not a gentleman and is a very convincing teller of tales that are not true."
As they neared Longbourn, Elizabeth thought of the possible consequences of her impulsive act. "Mr. Darcy, you won't tell my father what I did, will you? He might consider me compromised and insist on our marrying."
"Do not worry, I see no need to tell him and have no plans to do so. I will not lie to your father, but I will not volunteer details of our encounter. We do not know each other well enough to consider marriage, or even to talk about it. My views on marriage are based on my parents' marriage; they liked each other, respected each other, and loved each other. They had a very close relationship. My father was completely devastated when my mother died and basically withdrew from all contact, even from his children. That is the kind of marriage that I want. I suppose that is the main reason I am not married already. The women I meet all seem to want to marry me just for my position in society and my Pemberley estate, and disregard everything else about me. I want to be able to get to know a woman, and for her to get to know what I am really like before I ever consider marrying her.
"I admit that I find it very unusual that we can talk about such things even though we do not know each other very well. After all, it has only been a few weeks since we met and this is the first real conversation we have ever had. It must the result of how close we are in this situation and the unforgettable memories you have given me with your kiss; I will never forget it. Whenever you see me smile you will know what I am thinking about," he said with a big smile.
Elizabeth looked up at him and blushed at the mention of the kiss, but said, "Mr. Darcy, I believe that is the first time I have ever seen you smile. Usually you look so forbidding. You look much better when you smile; you should smile more often. When you smile you do not look so fearsome. When I see you smile from now on, I will suspect what you are thinking of and will smile with you even though I in turn will remember my very inappropriate act. I know that I should blush rather than smile."
Darcy was surprised at being teased like this, until he remembered that Elizabeth's wit was one of her main attractions to him. "We are almost at Longbourn, we must become more presentable." Mr. Darcy removed his arm from around her, causing Elizabeth to feel keenly the withdrawal of his comforting closeness.