Title: 50 Ways to Kill an Ordinary

Author: Dark Roswellian Angel

Elizabeth McDowell

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. If I did, "Dark Angel" would still be airing, and Jensen Ackles would have been in every episode. And Logan... Logan who?

Copying/Downloading/Posting: Please let me know first, and let me know where my work will be posted as I would love to come visit it. Make sure that it is put under my name, as I would love to hear how others feel about it. Thanks ;)

Rating: T for now, may increase to M later.

Synopsis: Max starts having some seriously disturbing dreams- only does she really find them that disturbing? How do they affect her feelings for the men in her life?

A/N: In case the title and disclaimer didn't make it obvious, don't expect this to be too nice to Logan :) But please keep in mind that this is meant to be just for fun. After all, they're only dreams, right???

Funky Whacked Dreams

One morning, an extremely tired looking Max came out of her bedroom yawning.

"You aiight, boo?" Cindy asked looking up from the coffee she was just about to drink.

"No… yeah…," Max shook her head to clear it but couldn't shake the discomfited look from her face. When Cindy gave her a look, she answered, "Yeah. I'll be fine. Just had some weird dreams."

Cindy's look became sympathetic. Max had shared some of her nightmares in the past, and they were major doozies. And to think they were based on experiences Max had actually lived through. Sometimes her boo's life was just plain mys-ti-fyin'. How she could have gone through all that and be the fine, upstandin' female she was- it was amazin'. It just went to prove how all-powerful good Max was on the inside that she could overcome all that craziness. "Nightmares, huh?"

"No… yeah… no." She looked at Cindy and saw she was getting the same look again. "Not really nightmares. Just weird dreams. But… they weren't really all that... disfavorable, I guess you'd say."

"Okay, shugga, you gonna have to break it down for me, 'cause you got me all kinds of confused now."

"I kind of killed Logan."

"What? What do you mean you kinda killed Logan? You do mean in yo dreams, right? You didn't go on touchin' him or nothin'?"

"No, I didn't touch him. I just kind of accidentally killed him in my dreams last night."

"And just what does that mean? How did you accidentally kill yo boy?"

"I kind of pushed his head through a meat slicer," Max said, ending her statement with a questioning tone while shrugging her shoulders.

"Uh- what?" Cindy couldn't even begin to believe what her ears were tellin' her they were hearin'.

Max couldn't meet the other girl's eyes. She couldn't even begin to believe that she'd had the dream she'd had. What the hell was wrong with her? Were her Frankenstein genes finally making her whack? Was she losing it? Like Ben? Was she going to go postal and slice and dice all that she held near and dear? Was this how her reign of terror and mayhem started?

"Earth to Max. Original Cindy's thinking that she must've misheard her girl, 'cause there just ain't no way that you just said what she's thinking you did." When Max didn't respond. "Okay, that's some serious screwage. Maybe you ought to just tell me the whole story."

"Well, he invited me out to dinner. But then instead of letting me eat, he took me to this store and started going on and on and on about some mission that Eyes Only wants me to go on. So, I started getting real hungry, and I realized it was a butcher's shop, so I decided I was going to slice myself a sandwich. Only… I got a little confused."

"Yikes. That's some serious mix-up, shugga." Original Cindy sat staring at Max, who was obviously still bothered by something else. "Okay, fess up, what else?"

Max looked at her, obviously trying to decide if she was going to admit the rest. Then she seemed to make up her mind. "Well, as I was cutting up Logan, Alec came in and asked what I was doing. I told him I was having a sandwich, and then I looked at Logan and realized what I had done. I was really upset and started crying, so Alec came around the corner and started rubbing my back. Well, that felt really good, so I started cuddling with him. And then… we wound up doing it on the counter in the butcher's shop."

To Original Cindy's credit, she was able to take this information in with only a couple of blinks. "Huh. So how was Hot Boy?"

Max smiled, whether from relief that Original Cindy wasn't going to press any further and seemed okay with her dream and didn't think she was going crazy or from remembering the rest of her dream, neither one was entirely sure, "He was pretty good."

"Well, aiight, then, we best get goin', boo. We gonna be late for work again, and Normal's gonna have yo head." With that, OC picked up her bag from the counter and walked to the door.

With a smile, Max picked up her bag and followed her.

Half an hour later, they were at Jam Pony just about to leave to run their separate packages to sectors 5 and 8 when Max looked up and immediately looked away from the male walking down the ramp. Trying desperately to look anywhere but at him, she turned to OC only to catch her friend looking at her with a big smile on her face. "You gonna haveta face him sooner or later, boo."

In response, Max looked back at the swaggering young man with the devilishly handsome smirk plastered across his face. "Later."

"Hey, Maxie, how's it goin'?"

She tried to ignore how smooth his voice was, and how her mind immediately responded by dragging up visuals of the more pleasant parts of last night's dreams. Instead, she forced a dirty look on her face, looked at him dismissively, and walked past him without a word.

"Great. Just great. And just what have I done this time?" Alec muttered to himself, not expecting an answer. But he got one anyway.

"Don't worry about it, man. Max's just havin' some problems dealin' with the real."

"Meaning what exactly?"

"Meanin' she had some epic dreams last night and is tryin' to wrap her head around them." Cindy walked past him, effectively ending the conversation.

Hmmm, Max is having dreams about me, huh? Niiiice, Alec thought with a more natural smile replacing his normal smirk.

Several hours later, Max was over at Logan's house. He had called up and invited her to enjoy some steak with him, but when she got there, he had been working on the computer. He turned to her with his little-boy-excited smile and began telling her about how he had worked through his network of informants to find one who was willing to rat out a minister who had been partaking a little too much of the communal wine. "So, then I talked to this guy who once worked for a magazine that had run this article on…"

Sloosh-sloosh-sloosh-sloosh. Max tried to hide the little smile that crossed her face at the remembered sound by wiping her hair behind her ear. She tried to refocus on what Logan was saying.

"… and of course, he told me that she had once denied saying that she knew him…"

Sloosh-sloosh-sloosh-sloosh. Max's eyebrows rose as she remembered again the more pleasant activities that she had engaged in soon after she'd finished with the machine, but she quickly turned her mind back to what Logan was saying.

Sloosh-sloosh-sloosh-sloosh. Man, I am really hungry. I wonder how much longer this is going to take. It's not like this is actually going anywhere- not even a mission is going to come out of this one. I wonder if it would be rude for me to start eating while he's still talking. But I'm not really in the mood for steak. What do I want? Max didn't even notice that her face was twisting into a clear look of confusion. Logan just kept going, believing that his story was so amazing that she was becoming astounded. Meat. Definitely meat. Maybe... a sandwich? Yeah... that sounds real good. A cold-cut sandwich, heavy on the meat. When she began to lick her lips, Logan became completely distracted but tried to continue with his story. She looked down at Logan and realized he was still talking about how he met his prize-of-the-night informant. "Hey, sorry, I gotta blaze."

As she immediately got up and walked out shouting out a, "See ya later," Logan looked up at her back dumbfounded. What just happened?