Leap of faith
By Googlekins
A/N: Sadly, these characters do not belong to me. But please enjoy. And give me feed back. Its like Crack to me ;)
Sweat slowly trickled down the chiseled feature of Dr. Maura Isles as she jogged up the hill to her house. Lost in thought, the 5 miles seemed to go by faster than usual. Her Vibram FiveFingers made a slight squeak with each stride. Looking down at them, she smiled as she thought "they really do make me look like a mallard duck." just like Jane had said to her a few months ago. Jane. The very person who had been occupying her every thought through the entirety of her jog. Jane's wild hair. Jane's off beat sense of style, or lack there of. Jane's eye roll when she got frustrated. Jane's eating habits, which Maura still had plans to set straight. Jane's eyes sparkling with her trade mark half smile. Jane's warm heart. Jane's deep throated chuckle when she was amused. Jane. Jane..
Maura couldn't stop thinking about her best friend. Perhaps it was because of Jane shot. Or because Jane's mother was staying with her in her guest house. Or perhaps, just maybe, it was because Maura was beginning to realize the true feelings she held for Jane.
Maura walked the last quarter of a mile to cool down, and try to gather her bearings. When she reached her mail box, she stopped; stood in the middle of the entrance to her driveway, and sat down. The ground was cold, and slightly damp from an earlier rainfall, but Maura didn't care. The feelings where overwhelming her, and she couldn't keep them straight. She was in love with Jane. She may have been for a long time; but only in this moment, did she completely realize, and accept that fact.
A feeling of pure Joy seemed to fill Maura with warmth. Everything seemed brighter, even in the dim of the evening. She swore she could smell lilies, though none were around. She felt more peace than she had felt in many, many years.
And then, Maura's always analytical, reasonable, brilliant mind took a path that filled Maura with utter darkness. What if Jane didn't feel the same? Would their friendship be able to survive that kind of hurdle? Could she even BE Jane's friend knowing she couldn't be loved back the same? Maura started to feel her chest tighten and her eyes began to sting and tear. Her usual calm was shattered and panic began to set in. She wasn't used to all these sensations all at once, and to be quite honest she didn't care for it. As one single tear escaped her lashes, she had made a decision.
Maura would tell Jane, somehow, that she loved her. No matter the consequences. It was too important to Maura to keep inside, and Jane deserved to know. Maura knew the extent of the consequences, and the gravity of what this could do to them; but she also knew Jane, perhaps more than she knew herself. Jane was a surprising, kind, and passionate woman, and the best friend Maura had ever had. Maura knew Jane would never be cruel, no matter how she took the news. And for all Maura knew, Jane would be hiding reciprocating feelings deep inside; just as scared as Maura was.
Maura whipped that tear off her cheek quickly and stood up with renewed optimism. She was going to do this, and she was going to do this soon. She was going to do this the same way she did everything; with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, and in the most magnificent means she could conjure.
The next morning, Maura walked into the Morgue feeling excited and scared to death. She knew should couldn't wait long to tell Jane she loved her, but she needed to do it at the right time. Looking over the body of their newest murder case, was not that time. Maura knew Jane would be down any second to collect Dr. Isles' findings, and the anticipation coursing through Maura's veins was almost hypnotic. Jane sauntered in through the open doors as Maura was scrounging to find her paperwork.
"Hey Maur, How was your night? Ma said you went for a long run, everything ok?" Jane asked. Startled, Maura spun around and let out a tiny gasp. The papers in her hand dropped to the floor.
"Ja.. Jane! You scared me!"
Giggling, Jane gave Maura her trademark half smile and walked over to stand in front of her. Bending down, Jane picked up the papers and set them on the table next to Maura. Maura, on her part, found it difficult to move, let alone breathe.
"sweetie, you gotta stop bein' in your head so much. I know that's a million dollar brain in there, but ya gotta be more aware of your surroundings." Jane said and placed her hand on Maura shoulder, letting it slide down Maura's arm till they were holding hands. Maura was captivated, but Jane was getting worried.
"Maur.. Whats ups sweetie?"
Realizing she hadn't really said anything Maura's brain snapped into focus.
"OH yes, Im quite fine. Just a little tired from my rigorous exercise last night."
Jane's features soften in relief. And that trademark half smile was back on her face.
"ok. Good. What'dya got for me Doc?" Jane said as she let go of Maura's hand, and Maura almost thought she felt Jane linger just a moment. And did Jane's thumb just caress her palm? Maura got lost in thought once again as she was over come with "what-if's"
"ummm. OH yes, of course. This is all I have for you, unfortunately." Maura handed the papers to Jane and continued, "I will have more for you this afternoon." and before Maura could stop herself she almost spoke to quickly as she said, "and would you like to have dinner at my place tonight? I promise I won't make a dish you cannot pronounce." Maura surprised herself. She hadn't planned on an invitation so soon, but there it was. Out on the table. Maura held her breath as she waited for Jane to process and react to everything she'd just said.
Jane very slowly began to smile; broadly. A smile she seemed to only show to Maura, and Maura found it quite contagious. A low chuckle escaped Jane's throat and she pulled Maura into a hug. Her arms around Maura's shoulders and Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's thin waiste. Jane's chin resting atop Maura's soft hair.
"Maura, sweetie you are the greatest." Squeezing Maura once more before letting go, she continued, "I'd love to!" though it didn't seem possible, Maura's smile got even bigger.
Jane took the papers and backed up. Before she turned to head back up to the bull pen to start her day, she reached up, touched the tip of her finger to Maura's nose, and said "boop!" causing Maura to giggle, and wrinkle her nose. "See ya, Sweetie."
And with that, Jane spun around and walked away with her usual masculine stride, which Maura happened to think was becoming quite adorable.
The rest of the day went by at an agonizing pace. Maura was distracted with scenarios and possibilities. Her mind was reeling in anticipation. Once all her reports were in, and her lab locked up tight, she sent Jane a text, that simply said meet me at 7:30. Bring Jo.
Maura rushed home so she could make dinner, and somehow get rid of Angela for the night. Dinner only took a half hour to make, and she treated Angela and Frankie to a Red Sox game and dinner. Since Frankie always seemed to be interrupting their conversations on a usual basis, she'd decided it'd be best to occupy him as well.
Maura showered twice, which seemed irrational, but she couldn't help herself. She then proceeded to changed her clothes 6 times, and tried on more than 20 pairs of shoes.
This is ridiculous, she thought. I'm acting like a teenager. Maura knew she was being absurd but she couldn't help herself. This would so be the most defining night of her life.
Just as Maura was putting on the finishing touches to the meal, she heard the front door open.
"Maur! I'm here!" Jane called from the living room.
Maura quickly turned on her heels and tried to head for the living room as well, but she miscalculated, and caught her shoe on a tile, causing her to fall, rather ungracefully on the hard floor. From the living room, Jane heard a tiny scream followed by a thud. She quickly ran to the kitchen, leaving Jo to sniff at Bass. She found Maura crumpled on the floor, she hair strewn across the tiled floor like gold.
"MAUR, oh Geez sweetie are you ok? What happened?" Jane kneeled down next to Maura and laid her hand on Maura's forehead. Slowly caressing downwards till she was cupping Maura's Cheek. Maura's head hurt, as she has slammed the back of it against the stove, but she was ok.
"Im ok, just a little bump on the head" Maura tried to stand up but her legs were in an awkward tangle, so Jane shifted to her knees, and effortlessly lifted Maura up so she was also on her knees. Both were facing each other, and holding each others forearms. Staring into each others eyes.
"Maura, can you stand?"
"..Yes."
"do you want to get up off this hard floor?"
"..ok."
Neither of them made any motion to stand up. Maura bit her bottom lip, and took a deep breath. Trying to calm her shivering. Jane just looked at her. Her eyes darting from Maura's eyes, to her lips, and back again. Maura slid her hands up Jane's arms till they were on her shoulders, then around to they were on her back, fingers stretched out. Jane moved closer as Maura wrapped her arms around and Jane slid her hands into Maura's hair. Maura closed her eyes and before she could open them again, she felt the softest lips she'd ever kissed pressing onto her own lips. Jane was kissing her. JANE was kissing her.
They didn't need words. They never did. They had both known, the whole time. A deep, primordial instinct that could no longer be suppressed.
Maura leaned into Jane as they shared the most passionate kiss either of them had ever experienced. Each woman poured all the love, devotion, and acceptance they felt into that first kiss. Only when oxygen became necessary did they pull away from each other. Still close enough to share the same air. Jane's left on hand in Maura's hair, and brought the other up to run her thumb lightly across Maura's bottom lip.
"Wow" Jane Whispered.
Maura just smiled, and pulled Jane into a hug.
"I Love You, Jane. I believe I always have."
Jane pulled back to look into Maura's eyes. A tear rolled down her porcelain face, and Jane caught it on the back of her finger; gently whipping it away.
"I Love You, too, baby. Always have. Always will.."
Maura leaned forward and pressed her lips to Jane's.
The peace Maura had felt with her realization in her driveway, paled in comparison to the tranquility she now knew. She Loved Jane. Jane Loved her. And that's all that mattered.