Grar. I'm not really pleased with this, but I need to get back into a writing mood. Constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. Seriously. I need a beta reader badly. Really bad. As in, someone contact me if you're interested, because I can't get anyone at home to help me.

I also was kind of sick of all the fics that bashed Barry. Yeah, he had the worst lines in the game, but he's not stupid, folks. As far as I can tell, there aren't a lot of stories that involve his family, either. I just thought it would be kind of cute to write something where he spends some time with his daughter or something, but with a RE twist. Or something. Gah.

By the way: I don't own Resident Evil. If I did, Leon Scott Kennedy would be chained to my bedroom wall. Pretty much anything else that's mentioned in here doesn't belong to me either.I would be a very happy girl if I did, though.

Barry Burton reclined comfortably in his favorite overstuffed armchair and settled down to watch some television. He flicked through the channels repeatedly before finally stopping on the news. None of the locations mentioned in the report really rang a bell; it had barely been three weeks since he uprooted his family from Raccoon City and moved them all to Canada. Although the move had been violently protested by his two daughters, Moira and Polly, he knew that he had to get them out of that city before something like the Spencer mansion incident occurred again, but in much more epic proportions.

"Daddy, I want a bedtime story."

He looked up. The speaker was his daughter Polly, clad in a giant sleepshirt Barry had won some years ago for participating in a marathon and gray, baggy sweatshorts. She clung tightly to an old, ragged teddy bear that was as big as she was and, of all things, her yellow security blanket.

"What's wrong, Polly?" he asked. "Aren't you a little old for that sort of thing?"

She shook her head, her mouth set in a stubborn line. Soft brown eyes stared back into Barry's light gray ones. "Please, daddy," she asked. "You haven't told me one in forever."

"Gah…" He hit the power button on the remote and the TV shut itself off with a decidedly final click. The large man heaved himself out of the chair and escorted his daughter down the hallway to her room. She snuggled under her lacy, flowery bedcovers while he stood at her bookcase, trying to pick out a story she might like.

Barry's first choices were immediately shot down, effectively eliminating Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Cinderella, Goodnight Moon, and several issues of Nintendo Power magazine. He finally held up a rather large, violently neon green book with a hamster on it. "How about Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie?"

Polly thought about it for a moment. "I've heard that one a million times." She smiled sweetly, pouring all of her charm into one sweet gesture. "Why don't you make up a story?"

Make up one? What did his daughter think he was, some sort of children's book writer? He was a member of S.T.A.R.S., for Chrissakes! …Or, at least he used to be. He quit almost immediately after the higher-ups claimed that he and the rest of the S.T.A.R.S. survivors were on some sort of hallucinogenic drugs. Barry sighed and racked his brain for anything that could be used as story material.

"Okay," he said after several long moments. "This is a story about a… uh… knight."

"What's his name?"

"Um…" Barry hadn't thought of a name. He had simply planned on calling him "the knight" throughout the story. He suddenly had a flash of inspiration. "His name is Sir Barry."

"Sir Barry?" Polly giggled.

"Yes. Sir Barry," Barry said with finality. "Now, the village where Sir Barry lived was being plagued by some very mysterious monster attacks, so the king ordered some of his strongest, most powerful warriors to investigate: Alpha team and Bravo team."

"What kind of monsters were they?"

Why was she so curious, dangit? "Um… scary monsters. So scary, that if I told you about them, you'd probably be so scared that you wouldn't be able to go to sleep."

Polly raised her eyebrows at that. Barry found that rather ironic; he had faced the inhabitants of the mansion and he hadn't been able to get a good night's sleep for several days afterwards. "So anyway, the warriors finally found out that the monsters seemed to be living in a creepy mansion in some spooky woods. Then Bravo team piled into their airship-"

"Their airship?" Polly looked incredulous.

"Do you want to hear the story or not?" Barry tried to look stern and crossed his arms. He looked rather ridiculous trying to be gruff in a room that looked like a rainbow had staggered in drunk and thrown up in. Polly simply kicked her adorable little girl charm up a notch and widened her eyes, making her look not quite unlike Bambi.

"Gah…" Barry knew he had lost that particular battle of the wills and continued the story. "The airship flew over the spooky woods, searching for the creepy mansion, but all of a sudden, the engine malfunctioned and they went crashing down."

"What does 'malfunction' mean?" Polly whispered.

"It broke. So anyway, before airship hit the ground, Richard, one of the warriors, was able to send a message to the rest of the warriors back home with his magic… uh… radio. All the Alpha team warriors heard his message, so they all piled into their airship and went to help their friends."

Barry's daughter cocked her head. "Who were the people on the Alpha team?"

"Uh…first there was Sir Barry… and Sir Chris, Sir Barry's best friend. Then there was Warrior Jill, the master of unlocking, and Sir Joseph, who made sure the airships worked." Polly smiled at the names; she recognized them as people who worked with her father. "Finally, there was Wesker the Traitorous Bastard."

Polly's eyes widened at the use of what her mother would call foul language. She wondered vaguely if her dad would have to wash out his mouth with soap before she nodded for him to continue.

"So Alpha team flew around the spooky woods before finally spotting their friends' airship," continued Barry. "They landed to take a closer look and discovered that nobody was in it. They spread out to search for what might have happened to Bravo team, when those dangerous monsters suddenly attacked Sir Joseph. Sir Barry and all his friends tried to help Sir Joseph, but it was too late."

The young girl stifled a small gasp. Although she wasn't informed of the circumstances behind her family's move to Canada, she was beginning to have an inkling that this was part of the cause.

"Wesker the Traitorous Bastard spotted a creepy mansion and they all ran towards it. As Warrior Jill, Sir Barry, and Wesker the Traitorous Bastard burst into the main hall, they realized that Sir Chris had been separated from them during the confusion. Warrior Jill wanted to go back outside to find him, but Wesker the Traitorous Bastard knew that the monsters were right outside the door and stopped her. Suddenly, they heard a gunshot fired somewhere in the creepy mansion." Barry suddenly stopped and leaned forward. After a brief pause he said, "Aren't you going to question why they heard guns in a fantasy setting?"

"No…not really…"

"Oh. Anyhow, Warrior Jill and Sir Barry were sent to find out the cause of the gunshot. They entered a dining room, where they found blood. Sir Barry stayed behind to investigate the blood while Warrior Jill went to find more clues. In the room beyond, she found one of her friends, Kenneth the Brave of Bravo Team, dead at the hands of one of the monsters. Several moments later, Jill burst into the room again, chased by one a monster. Sir Barry quickly dispatched it with his Colt Python."

"Wait a minute!" Polly interjected. "I thought Sir Barry was a knight. Knights don't use guns!"

"It's… uh… a gunblade."

"Oh."

"So anyway, Sir Barry and Warrior Jill decided to report back to Wesker the Traitorous Bastard, but when they went back to the main hall, he was gone. They looked for him for a bit before separating to search for him. However, Jill got caught in one of the spooky mansion's traps: a ceiling that slowly fell to crush her. She was nearly turned into a sandwich before Sir Barry was able to kick the door down and save her."

Barry suddenly looked at his watch. "It's pretty late. You should try to fall asleep now."

Polly frowned. "That was hardly enough for a bedtime story!" she said sullenly. "You better tell the rest tomorrow night."

Barry smiled, reaching down to ruffle her hair and kiss her forehead. "Don't worry, I promise." He stood up and stretched, flipping the light switch on his way out. As he walked out to the hall, heard his daughter's voice call after him, "Good night, Daddy."

"Good night Polly."

Yeah, I'm not happy with this, you can probably tell why. This is why I need a beta reader. hint hint