Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Sasuke and Hinata would end up together and life would be unicorns and rainbows.
Okay, this is just something simple I wrote in about 20 minutes. I accept story requests. Just leave the pairing and I'll do it! P.S. It may seem boring in the beginning but it gets funnier in the middle ;) Enjoy! And at what you THINK is the end, it's not the end, keep scrolling and there's another funny moment. Review and I hope you enjoy.
MYATTEMPTATALINEDONTLAUGH
"Gaara, what the hell are you doing?"
Temari found herself asking that more frequently than ever since the arrival of Ran.
She was staring at a masked Gaara who was hovering over a baby's crib with his hands occupied with toys.
"This is the only way I can communicate with him. I frighten him."
Temari rolled her eyes and sat down in front on his desk, Shikamaru in tow.
"Stop being ridiculous, you don't scare him."
"When I hold him, he cries."
"All babies cry!" Shikamaru butted in.
"Maybe it's the fact that when you hold him you hold him with your arms out like you're scared of him or even worse hate him."
Gaara set down the toys, and gently lifted up the red headed, blue eyed 11 month old. He walked up to his large chair and sat down. Ran began playing with his fathers' hands.
"You wouldn't comprehend good parenting skills."
"What are you trying to say?!"
"Nothing...But where's Mitsuki?"
Shikamaru looked at Temari and she snapped her head to look back at him with wide eyes.
"Damn it!"
"Shikamaru!"
"I'll go find her." The 200 I.Q. holder said as he stood up and left the room to find his troublesome 5 year old daughter. Temari turned her eyes from the door and back to her brother. She couldn't see his face but she knew he was smirking at her under that ANBU mask.
"Shut up!"
"Anyways, where is Ino?"
"She went to go visit her parents in Konoha. She should be coming back today."
"Hm... How's been Ran?"
"He's doing fairly well. He keeps mumbling about a panda to In-" the fifth kazekage's voice was cut off with a sudden intrusion.
"Uncle Gaara! Aunt Temari!"
"Hi!"
"Hey!"
Three identical little boys who looked fairly similar to Kankuro came inside with their face painted father and weapon obsessed mother.
"Hey, guys. Just thought we'd stop by." said Tenten as she leaned against the wall along with her husband, polishing the kunai in her hand with the hem of her shirt.
"Hey, what's this?"
"And this?"
"Oohh, and this?"
Kankuro's sons began putting their tiny hands on everything. Their parents scolding them but they didn't care.
"Uncle, why do you have that mask on?"
"Ran is scared of me, therefore I disguise myself so he-" he stopped his sentence when he felt the mask being lifted of his head.
"Let me try!"
"No, me!"
Gaara mentally face palmed himself. He looked down at his son and saw tears brimming in his eyes.
1.
2.
3.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ran's screams erupted into the room.
"Damn it." He stood up and held out his son for Temari to take."I have to take the mask back. Ichigo! Come back with that mask." he said as he chased the 4 year old around his office.
"I'm not Ichigo. That's Ichigo. I'm Ruki. Ryou catch!" he handed the mask off to his sibling making Gaara change his obstacle course.
"You little fuc-!"
"Don't use language around my sons!" Tenten interrupted.
"Well, maybe, I wouldn't have the need to if they weren't so ignorant."
"What are you trying to say about my kids?"
"Ignorance is a noticeable quality in them."
"Oh, I'll show you ignorance!" Kankuro said as he dove for Gaara wrestling him to the ground.
Tenten rolled her eyes, and started to chase her sons for poor Gaara when she slipped and flipped the desk on its side making all the paperwork cascaded all over the floor.
"Ahh, let's make a swimming pool out of papers, Ryou!"
"Paper fight!"
The three triplets began grabbing the paper and throwing it in the air. Tenten tried to get them to stop but they stopped believing her threats using weapons against them a long time ago.
Temari was just about to step in and tell Kankuro and Gaara to quit fighting but noone heard her previous attempts that were being overshadowed by her nephew's relentless wailing.
Shikamaru walked in the messy room holding his daughter by her shirt in the air.
"Shikamaru! You're going to stretch out her shirt!"
"What am I supposed to do? She uses my own jutsu against me so I can't control her."
"Shikamaru!" Temari said with a roll of her eyes. "Hold Ran, I need to break apart my idiot brothers. Mitsuki sit down."
Temari handed Ran to Shikamaru resulting in an even louder cry from him. Mitsuki evilly smirked at her mother, using the shadow jutsu making her dance.
"Shikamaru!"
"What? That's not me!" he screamed so he could be heard over Ran's crying. "It's Mitsuki. I'll handle it!"
"Kankuro, get off me! My son needs me! It's not my fault your kids are brats."
"Brats?!" Tenten asked, as she chased her sons around the room. "For your information,they're at the top of their class. Kankuro, beat the crap out of him!"
Kankuro continued aiming punches at his younger brother that were all blocked. Shikamaru set down Ran on the floor to stop Mitsuki. He used his jutsu on Ran to make sure he wouldn't go anywhere as he tried to counterattack the identical jutsu. His daughter's shadow got to him first and he became paralyzed under his daughter's control, forcing him to let go of his control on Gaara's only son. He quickly became distracted and forgot about the baby that began crawling to the wall.
"Ichigo, those are important papers!"
"Mitsuki, let us go."
"Wow, I've got to give it to you Shikamaru. You trained her good. Too good. Thanks a lot. " Temari said. Sarcasm dripping from her words.
"Oh, so are you blaming it on me now? Troublesome woman." he said as he was forced to do the Macarena.
"Gaara, you're just mad because I got the courage to tell the girl I love that I loved her first and had kids before you did. Admit it!"
"Kankuro! This isn't about how or when I told Ino I fell in love with her. That was the worst comeback my ears have ever had the unfortunate opportunity to experience!"
"Stop talking like you're an old man!"
"Haha, Uncle Gaara is an old man."
"He's probably going to die soon!"
"Let's put him in a retirement home!"
"I'm right here! Kankuro, that's what you call 'Sophisticated'?!
"Shut up!"
"You shut up! Don't worry, Ran. I'm be right there as soon as I beat this motherfu-"
"What did I say about language?"
"Mitsuki. This isn't funny. We don't even like to dance!"
"Shut up!"
"Don't tell her to shut up! What do you even know about parenting?! Dad hired people to kill you! "
"You're lucky I left my sand gourd in the board meeting room!"
"Dance, Daddy! Dance!"
"Ichigo! Don't rip that. That's a signed treaty from the sound village!"
Ran crawled over to his father. His crying had ceased and he had a smile on his face. He crawled to his head and patted his similar red hair. Gaara felt something on his head and knew it wasn't Kankuro's usual hair pulling. He saw his son smile at him and tears began to brim his eyes as he continued to fend off a ticked off Kankuro.
"P... Pan...da. Pand..a... Panda." he called his father. Gaara nodded.
"You can call me whatever you want, Ran." A rough hand hit his cheek as he happily watched Ran crawl away. Content with the fact that his son wasn't scared of him anymore ( not that he ever really was) and he flipped Kankuro over to the bottom and he began punching him.
An anime sweat drop appeared on a heavily pregnant Ino's forehead as she opened the door to her husband's office.
'Oh no. Not again.' she thought.
She sighed, and semi closed the door when she saw Ran crawling in circles when his eyes enlightened with happiness. He spread his hands out gesturing for her to come and carry him.
She waved her hands, gesturing for him to crawl over to her. He blinked and then started crawling to the outside hall without anyone noticing. Ino crouched down and lifted her son up into her arms. She walked away towards the sleeping quarters.
"Panda. Panda! Panda!"
"Yeah, Daddy does look like a panda."
Just another typical day in the Sabuku no Household.
MYATTEMPTATALINEDONTLAUGH
After Gaara stood up from a bruised Kankuro, his green eyes scanned his office. "Where's Ran?!"
He looked at Temari who looked at Shikamaru who slapped his forehead.
"Damn it!"