I have this universe that I like to write JJ and Hotch in because I can do so much with it. I sit for hours planning out what I'm going to write, and something about this family makes me enjoy it enough to produce pages after pages of these stories.
If you think them having 6 kids is silly, I'm going to show you that it isn't. Not every couple chooses to have 6 children, but some actually do. JJ and Hotch are a living example of that. They work long hours, have not one, but two children with type 1 diabetes, and on top of that, they have to manage raising 6 children all 11 and under.
These stories are not over-exaggerated, as I have done extensive research. So, the bottom line is, it might not sound realistic to you, but for someone who's going through this, or even understands what's happening, this will mean a lot.
Thank you to my wonderful friend, Courtney (andreearaducan) for planning my ideas out with me. I truly adore your talents and hope to one day produce work like you do.
Without further ado, here is my new story, The Sugarless Plum.
The 5 year old's heart fluttered with pride as she exited the stage. Her legs shook with the last of her nervousness, and her face was flushed with worry.
"Grace! You did amazing!" Eleanor beamed, pulling her into a giant hug.
The girl shook her head and looked into her friend's hazel eyes, "no, I didn't, Ellie.. I did bad."
Eleanor frowned, fixing her earring. Grace was the best dancer in the class. She caught on easily, moved elegantly through the motions, and her turns were exquisite. She didn't understand why someone like her could ever feel so bad about themselves.
"You were amazing," the darker haired girl assured, "okay? Don't worry."
Grace nodded, playing with the end of her dress. She was very self conscious about her pump. None of the other dancers had devices to make insulin so they could live. Nobody else had to prick themselves with a needle to know how much blood sugar was inside of them. It made her feel so different. Even standing in the packed theatre, she'd never felt so alone.
She turned around when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Looking up, she realised it was her mom.
"Mommy! Did you see me dance?" She chirped, jumping into her arms.
JJ laughed and pressed a giant kiss to her forehead.
"You were absolutely incredible, baby!" She exclaimed, cuddling her little girl tightly.
Grace shook her head, those thoughts coming back.
"No, mommy, I wasn't good! I think I'm low," She frowned, scratching her head.
JJ put her daughter down and bent down to her level. She examined her red face and bit her lip in worry. This disease wasn't supposed to stop her daughter from doing what she loved, nor was it supposed to make her feel any less than she was.
"You were a little high before you went on, so you shouldn't be too low now," JJ said, shouldering her purse, "i'm going to check your pump. You shouldn't have gone down much."
Grace fiddled with the bottom of her dress as JJ checked the number on her pump that sat on the waistband of her light pink tights.
"4.4," JJ said to herself, pulling up her daughter's tights.
JJ lead Grace out of backstage and into the hallway. She let her daughter press the elevator button while she fiddled through her purse, trying to find her phone.
Grace looked up at her mother, "what is it, mommy?" She asked, studying her expression.
"Uh, nothing, Gracie," she put off, watching the doors ding open, "nothing for you to worry about."
JJ and Grace stepped into the elevator. Something was off, and Grace knew it. She was determined to figure it out.
"You did phenomenal tonight," the mother said, changing her tone, "I watched you and you were spectacular."
Grace smiled, staying close to her mother's side. She looked up to her mom more than anyone. They were so close to each other, and both felt like they could tell each other everything. Only, Grace was often confused as to why her mother couldn't tell her everything.
"Really?" Grace asked, looking up, "because I think I did bad, and everyone knows I have diabetes."
JJ felt her heart break a little more than it already had. Her child shouldn't still be feeling this way. Sure, there would be ups and downs, but her daughter was 5 years old. She shouldn't be worrying about what others thought of her.
"Grace Victoria Hotchner, listen to me," JJ said softly, as the elevator door opened, "you are my little girl, and no little girl of mine should feel that they're different in a bad way."
Grace sighed, holding her mom's hand as they walked through the hallway to their hotel room.
"Mommy," she whined, "nobody else has to prick their finger! Why do I have to?"
"Grace," JJ sighed, annoyedly, "we have been through this a thousand times, and I will tell you again. Having diabetes will not stop you from dancing and playing soccer and doing what you love. You and Henry can do just as much as Jack, Luke, Tyler, and Ben can, and you know that. Don't feel bad about yourself."
Once they reached their room, JJ opened the door. Instead of Grace running in excitedly, she practically dragged herself through the room and got into bed.
JJ put her purse down and threw her phone down onto the bed beside her.
"Can you get your kit out for me, please?" She asked, grabbing her toothbrush from the bathroom.
Grace jumped down from the bed and landed lightly on the floor. She walked over to her mother's purse and dug through it until she found her testing kit. She then brought it over to the bed and unzipped it.
JJ finished brushing her teeth and removed her makeup. She tied her hair into a messy bun and walked out into the main area. She pulled Hotch's soccer coaching sweatshirt out of her bag and threw it on.
"Right," she said, getting the lancing device ready, "I want you to tell me why exactly you've changed your mind on diabetes."
Grace swallowed thickly upon hearing the click of the needle pricking her skin. She looked down at her finger as JJ squeezed the blood out of it and onto the test strip to be submitted into the meter.
"Lily told me you fed me too much sugar when I was a baby, so I got diabetes," She said, flat out.
JJ's eyebrows raised as she wiped the blood off of her daughter's finger.
"Okay, is that it?"
Grace nodded, pulling her finger back.
"You developed type one diabetes shortly after you were born, Grace. When you were 7 weeks old, the doctors told us you had type one, and that morning, we watched them prick your foot for the first time, so they could test your blood sugar."
"My foot?" The girl asked.
JJ nodded, reading the meter, "your fingers were too small to use."
She got off of the bed and went to the fridge, trying to find something to give her daughter as a bedtime snack.
"But I'm not normal," Grace sighed, following JJ.
The older blonde measured the carbs on a juice pouch before handing it to the girl.
"You are normal. Everybody is different. I don't want you to feel like you matter any less, okay? You're a fighter, you know that? You were less than a year old, already taking needles like a pro. And for that, you are my special little girl."
Grace beamed, still not completely filled by what her mother had said. She turned around as JJ began to unzip her dress.
"Does Henry ever feel not normal?" She asked quietly, looking out to the dark sky.
JJ pulled the dress off of the girl and nodded, helping her take her tights off.
"Yeah, he does. He's the only boy on his soccer team that has diabetes, and he doesn't feel like he belongs there. But, you know what? They all play soccer, right?"
Grace nodded.
"So, it doesn't matter. And, who cares if they know? His body and your body don't produce insulin and theirs does. That is the only difference, and it shouldn't make you feel bad."
Once Grace's clothes were taken off, JJ handed her some pyjamas and let her put them on as she put the dress back into it's bag. She then took her child over to the window and let her look out to the city while she french braided her lovely long blonde locks.
"And we all dance, so it doesn't matter." She said.
JJ smiled, wrapping the light pink elastic around Grace's hair.
"Exactly. Don't let this stop you. Now, go brush your teeth."
The girl ran off to the bathroom, while JJ went to the bed to grab her phone. Reading the noifications, that sinking feeling in her stomach had returned.
She didn't know what to say. She stared at the 2 words on the screen.
'Missed Call'
It had been nearly 45 minutes since she received the notification at the elevator, and she still hadn't done anything.
She turned her phone off and slipped it under the pillow, just as Grace came out of the bathroom and turned off the light.
"Are you okay, mommy?" She asked innocently, climbing up onto the bed.
JJ nodded, cuddling the small child under the covers, "just a missed phone call."
Grace gasped, "from who?"
"It's just the doctors.. For mommy stuff. Don't worry."
The small blonde moved herself closer to JJ and closed her eyes shut.
"What about awards?" She asked, worriedly.
JJ pressed the child's head to her chest, "they had a mix up, so they're doing them in the morning. It's really late, and we have a big day tomorrow, so try and get some sleep, okay?"
"Okay," Grace whispered, burying herself in her mother's warmth.
JJ had waited for a while before even attempting to pick up the phone again. Her daughter had become more curious than ever, and was beginning to interrogate her mom.
After awards had finished, Grace's stress had certainly dropped. She bounced into the hotel room with JJ on her tail, carrying her 1st place trophy. The thing itself was nearly twice her height. Then again, the child had taken on her mother's short height trait. Either way, the trophy was certainly the biggest she'd gotten, and she was mighty proud.
"Finally," JJ sighed, placing the trophy in the corner of the room, "we get a trophy to put up amongst all the boys' awards."
Grace nodded, jumping onto the bed, "and it's my first competition!"
JJ laughed, agreeing with the young girl, "and there will be many more to come. Okay, over here. We gotta do a site change."
The small blonde groaned and dragged herself over to JJ. She'd done site changes pretty much all her life, except for the time she spent on shots after her time in a coma, but that didn't make it enjoyable.
She lifted Grace's shirt up over her shoulders, taking it off, and then put the pump in stop mode. She quickly disconnected the infusion site, and then capped off the infusion set. With 6 years of practice, she had this down to a science.
Once the pump had been disconnected, JJ used baby oil to loosen the head set from her child's belly. She disposed of the old set and prepared the new set.
"Okay, ready?" JJ asked, squeezing the fat on Grace's stomach. The girl nodded, and held her eyes tightly shut as she felt the set click into her body.
"Done?" The little girl asked, her eyes remaining shut.
JJ nodded and connected the tubes. She pulled on them to check for fitting, and then taped them in place with a thick pink strip of medical tape.
"Done."
JJ and Grace were flying out of Arizona and back to Washington. Their weekend had been extremely busy, resulting in Grace's blood sugar levels being all over the place.
Once they had gotten through security and onto the plane, they could relax. The poor child was so worried about her mother, she had began studying her facial expressions. JJ looked very on edge, biting her nails, tapping her foot. You named it, she was doing it.
They had been in the air no longer than half an hour, when Grace worked up the courage to open her mouth to her mom. She knew it might make her angry, but she couldn't help but be concerned. She wasn't usually like this, and it hurt to see her mother so on edge.
"Mommy?" Grace asked, shaking her mother's shoulder.
JJ took a deep breath and looked down at her daughter, turning off her phone.
"What's making you sad?" She asked.
"I'm not sad, plum, I'm nervous," JJ admitted, covering Grace with her indigo blanket, "but I don't want you to be worried."
The young girl wasn't going to be shrugged off again. She was determined to get an answer.
"What are you nervous about?" The small blonde inquired, "I won't tell anyone, I pinky promise," She added, sticking her pinky out in front of JJ and wiggling it.
Sighing, JJ knew that giving her child a satisfying answer would stop her from asking questions. She knew that by expelling a small amount of detail, she would realise that it wasn't anything big.
"Um," JJ said, "it's the doctors, and I went the other day to get some blood tests done, and they've called me back. I wasn't able to answer, so I have to call them when we get home."
Grace took in this information and giggled, "are you scared of a phone call?"
The older blonde shook her head, "no," she laughed to herself, "I'm scared of what the doctor is going to say. My blood tests came back."
The child gasped, grabbing JJ's hand, "do you have diabetes too?"
"No, no, plum, I don't.." JJ smiled, "it's a different type of blood test."
Grace frowned, "no fair. I want to do the same blood test as you!"
JJ shook her head and sighed deeply, "Grace," she said firmly, "mommies can be tested to see if we have something in our blood that the doctors use to see if we're pregnant or not. That's the test I got back. It's not the same as blood glucose."
The girl's face brightened, "are you having a baby?"
"That's what I have to call the doctor about. You can't tell anyone. Not your brothers. This is for us girls only," JJ said, sticking her pinky out.
Grace locked her pinky around her mother's and smiled. Maybe she wasn't just the only girl in a family of boys. She wasn't so invisible, after all.
JJ's eyes opened as she heard the faint sound of her alarm going off through her headphones. She checked her phone, realising that it was time to test her daughter. She woke the child up, and then grabbed her testing kit from the carry on bag above her.
Grace heard the familiar click of the needle pricking her skin, and then went ahead and squeezed the blood out of her finger.
"So, I might get a sister?"
"Grace," JJ said, "I don't even know if I'm having a baby. I don't want you getting excited just yet, okay?"
The girl frowned and sighed, "okay."
The older blonde finished cleaning her daughter's finger off, when the reading came back. Smiling, she put the meter away and had a Grace stand in front of her. She read her pump to make sure everything was okay, and then gave her a juice pouch to make the slight correction that was needed.
As Grace settled herself again, JJ took a look at her. She'd been through so much in the short 5 years she had been alive. She was numbers away from dying, but here she was, dancing her little heart out. The mother couldn't help but be proud. The child didn't have to feel like she was constantly in the back shadows of their family, being the only girl. She could feel important.
"Get some sleep, we'll be landing shortly," JJ said, caressing her girl's head as she cuddled closer to her mom.
"Love you," Grace mumbled against JJ's chest.
The blonde leaned on her daughter and kissed her forehead, "I love you, too."
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