This is my VERY FIRST fan fic...EVER...so cut me some slack, ok? This idea has been rattling around in my head for a while, and I finally got it down on paper...so to speak. If you have any suggestions as to where the story should go, PLEASE let me know, becuase I have absolutely no idea.

Thanks,

Bowlingforshrimp

I sat in front of the stupid house for eight friggin' hours and not once did Kevin Bower come out. My name is Stephanie Plum, and I am a bounty hunter, aka Bond Enforcement Agent. I'm not very good, but I'm lucky and I have my moments.

This was not one of those before mentioned moments. I had to pee like a bitch. I needed a shower. I was hungry. But I knew that even if I took a three minute pee break, I would miss a double murder slash car hijacking. So there I sat, in my new used Mini Cooper. It was two thirty in the morning, and yet I persevered.

By three I said screw it and drove back to my apartment. Rex, my hamster roommate, was fast asleep in his soup can after a hard night's workout. I never did understand why he ran on that wheel.

I took a well earned shower, letting the hot water pound on my back as I began to relax. Today—well, yesterday—hadn't been the best day in the world. I ripped a hole in my new jeans chasing Bubba Kisling, and on top of that when I finally got him we both tripped and fell onto a pile of garbage bags. To add insult to injury, Joyce Barnhardt got to watch. Stupid whore.

I rapped a towel around myself, padded into my bedroom and dropped a t shirt over my head. Then I proceeded to fall on the bed and go lights out. I woke up to unmistakable sound of the chain on my door swinging freely against the door. My clock read 5:56. Great, I get two and a half hours of sleep and then the psychos show up. I quietly slid out from underneath the covers, and groped in the darkness for something I could use as a weapon. My heart was threatening to burst out of my chest. I finally grabbed a coat hanger and waited.

"Steeeeeeeeph…you home?" called the newcomer from the living room.

A form appeared in front of me and I almost fell over.

The girl grinned wide and leaned in the door frame, "Death by coat hanger, eh?"

I couldn't speak. I was so surprised. I thought she was dead. She disappeared five years ago, and was never heard from.

"Jamie?" I managed to croak.

Jamie grinned wider and caught me in a bear hug and swung me around, laughing.

"God it's great to see ya, sis. What's it been? Five years?"

She set me down and I just stared at her, still stunned, "We all thought you were dead, you know," I said slowly.

She looked surprised at that. "Really? You didn't get any of my letters? I wrote a whole bunch."

I just shook my head, "I got one four years ago, but that was it."

She looked down at her feet, deep in thought, "I guess I forgot to send them," She looked back up at me, "oh well. I'm back now."

Jamie is my baby sister. She is nine years younger than me. She's a mix of Valerie and me, with something else thrown in. When Jamie was a kid she wasn't scared of anything. She used to sit up at night and wait for the monster under her bed to come out so she could clobber him with her baseball bat. She was smart enough to know that she couldn't fly, but jumped off the garage roof anyway just for fun. She snuck out of the house at night to hang with her friends, sniped people from the roof with her bb gun, drew, read, laughed, and was constantly on some fantastical adventure in her head.

Five years ago, at the age of sixteen, Jamie ran away. She left a note saying she couldn't stay home any longer without going nuts, and left without a trace. One year after her abrupt departure, I got a short letter in the mail saying she was just fine and having the time of her life. After that not a word.

"So where have you been?" I said, my voice a little higher than usual.

The really wide grin returned, "Everywhere. I've been fucking everywhere. You name it, I've been there. I freaking traveled the world."

"Wow," was all I could say.

"So you don't mind if I crash here tonight, do you? I was gonna go home, but then I thought of mom and how she would be blubbering all over me, so I came here."

"Of course you can stay. I'm still stunned to see you though. I seriously thought you were dead."

Over the past five years, every time I caught a glimpse of a kid with braids, I would look twice. Jamie hadn't changed much. She was as tall as me, her brown hair tamed into two braids that just reached her shoulders. She had on a red bandana pirate-style, a ratty jacket, baggy jeans, and boots. I noticed a belt with a gun shoved into it, and a large knife. She had my blue eyes and brown hair, but she had inherited more of the Plum side of the family, like Val.

"Great. I'll just sleep on your couch. But first I need a shower. See ya in the morning."

I laid back down on my bed, listening to the shower running, praying that this wasn't all a dream.

I woke up at precisely 8:02. I would have stayed in bed if not for the orgasmic cooking smells coming from the kitchen. I dragged myself vertical and staggered groggily out of bed, following my nose to the source of such a wonderful smell. I found Jamie in boy boxers and a t shirt cooking an omelet, bacon, and sausage.

"I know you don't like vegetables, so I left out green peppers and onions," she said, grinning at me.

"Mmm," was all I managed. I retreated back to the bedroom to shower and dress. When I came out, Jamie was eating at the dining room table and reading the paper. I sat down across from her and she pushed a plate laden with a yummy smelling breakfast and a mug full of coffee toward me.

"Where did you get the paper?" I asked through a mouthful of omelet.

"I bought it when I went out to get eggs. I also restocked your 'fridge. You didn't have any food in there, by the way."

"What, no donuts?" I looked around in case I'd missed the Tasty Pastry bag.

"No. From the way your cabinets looked, you really needed something healthy."

Jamie tagged along with me to the office. I needed to collect my money for Kisling, and I needed to give Connie back my file for Kevin Bower. I wasn't up to another eight hour stake-out.

"I'll do it for you," said Jamie, "I haven't got anything better to do. And besides, I need a job."

We were in the office, and I had already done the introducing thing to Connie. Lula wasn't in yet. Vinnie actually came out of his lair with a grin on his face and said he was really happy to see Jamie again.

"This guy is dangerous," Connie said to Jamie, "I don't know if you should go after this guy. He should probably go to Ranger."

Jamie's eyes lit up at the name, "Ranger? You mean like Ricardo Carlos Manoso the Cuban sex god mercenary Ranger?"

Okay, so obviously she knew Ranger. "Yeah. How do you know him?"

Her eyes were bright with laughter, "I stole his car a buncha years ago."

I was about to answer when I noticed Connie staring at something behind us. I hadn't heard a sound, so it could have been a giant spider descending from the ceiling, or Ranger. Since the room suddenly smelled of Bulgari, and Connie wasn't shrieking, I had my bet on the latter.

Jamie peeked over her shoulder and her grin widened, "Howdy. Long time, no see" she said cheerfully.

I turned to see Ranger projecting all 200 watts all directed at my baby sister. "Jamie. You finally got off the buoy, eh?"

Jamie narrowed her eyes, "yes. With no help from you I might add. And you owe me two hundred bucks, you prat."

Okay, so obviously they had known eachother for a while. But I was thinking that maybe someone who stole an ex-special forces guy's car wouldn't be calling him a prat.

I looked at Ranger, "You left her on a buoy because she stole your car?"

Ranger was still grinning, "I left her on the buoy because she shoved me off the boat."

"AND you said you'd come back in a week if you hadn't heard from me. Well guess what? I was on that hunk of plastic for eight friggin' days and NO rescue!" said Jamie, shooting her fool proof Burg glare at Ranger.

Ranger handed Connie a body receipt. He told to cut two hundred out of his check and write one for Jamie.

"So are we friends again?" he asked her, handing her the check.

"I never said we weren't," said Jamie, pocketing the check, "but sure. We're buddies again."

Ranger turned to me, "I need to talk to you outside. You can come to," he said to Jamie.

I said goodbye to Connie and followed Ranger and Jamie out onto the sidewalk.

"So how do you two know each other and what the hell is the buoy thing?" I asked.

"She stole my car. We ended up being allies," said Ranger, arms crossed, leaning back against his Mercedes.

"Yea and all I did was push you off the boat and you had to tie me to a friggin' buoy and leave me there in the middle of the ocean," Said Jamie.

"It's called payback, kiddo. You deserved it."