Leave me out with the waste this is not what I do, it's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you, it's the wrong time, for somebody new, it's a small crime, but I got no excuse.
Michelle
It's been two months since Tony and I split up, and I'm happy. I swear I'm happy.
Richie's nice, really nice and he would never hurt me. But I just can't stop thinking about how much he isn't Tony, how much I want him to be Tony when he pushes into me.
No one could make me feel like he did.
I usually try to pretend its Tony whenever Richie's in me, but it's hard to, considering it just doesn't feel the same. I feel like im cheating on him, on both of them. I should be thinking of Richard while he is pounding into me but I just can't. I should be with Tony when I'm being pounded by Richard, pounded is not even a good word to use as Richie doesn't do that, he likes to go slow and take his time and im just lying there like " Fuck sakes someone please speed him up" He's a fucking pussy and I get more satisfaction with my own fucking fingers. Tony's fingers.
Fuck, shit, bollocks. I shouldn't be swearing this much I apologise, it's just so frustrating. Not once in my entire relationship with Richard have I came, it's like he just doesn't fit properly with me.
Is that alright yeah? Give my gun away when its loaded. That alright yeah? You don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it. Is that alright yeah? Give my gun away when its loaded. That alright yeah? With you?
I miss him, but I can't let him win.