Tsuki to Taiyou
Fai pushed open the door to the roof and poked his head out curiously. After being in the light for so long in the house, it took his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness outside. Then he spotted his prize and his usual grin spread across his face; the ninja was sitting on the edge of the roof, silent and still. Fai had been so successful in opening the trapdoor stealthily that Kurogane hadn't even noticed his presence. The blond wizard took advantage of this rare opportunity to watch the ninja in his solitary moments. Kurogane was staring pensively up at the night sky, a curious expression playing across his features. An ignorant person might have called it annoyance but Fai had worn a similar expression himself many times and so recognized it for what it really was: loneliness.
As silently as possible, Fai heaved his slim frame out of the hole onto the shingled surface and crept up behind the brooding ninja. Kurogane was so lost in his thoughts that, despite his advanced training, he didn't even notice the wizard approaching. The smile on Fai's face widened and became mischievous.
"Kuuuurowan," Fai sang softly in Kurogane's ear, his lips grazing the warrior's skin.
Quick as a flash, Kurogane whipped out his sword, darted around behind Fai, forced the wizard's head back and held the blade to the blond's throat. He did this all in one swift, graceful movement. Fai didn't even flinch; he just grinned innocently up at the ninja, waiting to be released.
When he realized who his attacker was, the dangerous flame in Kurogane's eyes died down and was replaced with annoyance. "Oh, it's you," he grunted.
Kurogane gritted his teeth angrily as he shoved his blade back in its sheathe and heavily resumed his spot on the edge of the roof. "What do you want?"
Fai sat down next to Kurogane before answering. "I was curious as to where you'd disappeared off to."
"What the hell for?" the ninja snapped.
"I thought you might be lonely," Fai replied. "I was right, wasn't I?"
Kurogane made a derisive noise in the back of his throat and stared up at the starry heavens once again. So he didn't deny it, Fai noted. The two fell into silence as they studied the foreign landscape that sprawled out in front of them. Everything was peaceful in the moonlight and only the sounds of a slight breeze rustling through the leaves of scattered trees and the babble of a distant river punctuated the quiet night. Syaoran, Sakura and Mokona had already gone to sleep, worn out after a long day of searching for the princess's feather, which left only the ninja and the wizard still awake. Alone at last.
It was Fai who finally broke the silence. "Do you think the sun ever gets lonely?"
Kurogane turned his head to look at the blond, a scowl marring his features. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I've always wondered about that…" the wizard said thoughtfully, ignoring the question. "I mean, it's so big and powerful, and so many things depend on it but it could destroy everything if it wanted. It burns so bright and strong that no one ever suspects that it might be lonely."
"Just what are you getting at?" the ninja demanded.
"It's all by itself up there in the sky though," Fai continued. "And if the sun had a problem, it would just keep it to itself because who could the sun possibly depend on? No one, right? Nothing. It's looked at as a source of reassurance, and it inspires awe and sometimes fear in the hearts of us mere mortals."
Kurogane's scowl deepened as he tried to fathom the meaning of Fai's words. Why was he personifying the sun like this? Was he trying to draw an allusion between it and someone in their group? Could that someone be him, the ninja, or the mage himself? He wished Fai would just make his point; it annoyed him when people talked in riddles like this.
"The sun is wrong, though," Fai said in a voice that was scarcely above a whisper.
Kurogane looked at his companion, puzzled.
"If it was lonely, it could talk to the moon. The moon would listen. Even though people think of the sun and moon as opposites, they really aren't that different. The moon knows how the sun feels because…it's alone up there too. So if the sun wanted to talk, the moon would listen with all its heart."
The mage's eyes were clouded, as if he were there physically but mentally, he was a million miles away. Kurogane got the feeling he knew what Fai was trying to say now. He decided to play along, just to see where the conversation would go. A strange feeling was stirring inside him, the likes of which he had never experienced before. It was almost like being sick to his stomach except that the feeling was in his chest. No, the ninja decided, it's different than that. It's more like…excitement. That puzzled the ninja more; nothing was happening, after all. He was just sitting here on a stupid roof with a stupid wizard who had a stupid smile and stupid ideas. Damn that Fai. What right did he have to confuse the greatest warrior in all of Japan, in all of the world, perhaps?
As the wizard's name crossed his mind, Kurogane experienced another new feeling; one that terrified the ninja beyond comprehension. It was sort of like a warm, fluttering feeling. Strangely, the feeling was not at all rough like the harsh, raw emotions he was used to; it was very soft, like that of a flower petal brushing against one's skin, and it was this that scared him so badly. But…why? A tough, brutal warrior like him shouldn't be afraid of soft things such as flower petals. It's not like those kinds of things had any power. He could dominate them, crush them without even trying. So why did this sensation make him want to run forever and never stop? He felt that his only way of possibly justifying himself was to pursue this conversation that Fai (there was that feeling again) was leading him on.
"B-but," Kurogane stopped and cleared his throat, hating the trembling uncertainty that his voice was showing, before trying again. "But why would the moon bother listening to the sun? Doesn't it realize that the sun could melt it down so far that it no longer exists?"
Fai pondered this for a moment. "Yes… I suppose the moon is very aware of that. But I'm willing to bet that it's also aware that sometimes things are more than they seem. Maybe the moon knows that when the people on earth look at it, they can only see a portion of it. They can see its bright, happy side so they think that that's all there is to the moon. But the moon knows that there is a dark side to itself; one that it's careful not to show anyone because it's afraid of what might happen if they saw it. Maybe the moon suspects that the sun has a side like that too. And that makes the moon realize that maybe it's not so alone after all. Perhaps there is someone just like it, that feels the same things, that sees things in a similar way and that gives it hope. And even if it could get burned by trying to find out more about the sun, it feels that it's worth a try because if it can get to know the sun a little bit better, then both could feel like there is hope for them after all."
Kurogane was silent, not knowing what to say to this response. It hadn't been the answer he had expected. Perhaps the moon was right; perhaps there were more to things than there appeared to be.
"I still don't get it," the ninja frowned, looking at the blond wizard once more. "What would make the moon think it wanted to know the sun in the first place? There are plenty of other things it could be friends with out there. I mean, it has the whole damn universe. There's the Earth, for one. It's a hell of a lot closer to the moon than the sun. What makes it think there's something so freaking special about the sun?"
Fai smiled patiently at Kurogane, shaking his head slightly.
"I'm sure even the moon doesn't understand it fully," the wizard said softly. "And I'm sure that it doesn't have any problem with the Earth. The moon probably likes the Earth very much. It just sees how the sun shines and remembers how dark and cold it was before it discovered that sun. When it's with the sun, though, it doesn't feel so cold anymore. It feels warm. Before, it didn't even really know what warmth was. It thought it did, but really, it had no idea. It wasn't until it met the sun that it realized that what it had before wasn't warmth at all; it was just cold so intense that it burned and scarred the moon for eternity."
"Doesn't the moon realize that the sun can't make its scars go away?" Kurogane growled. "Even if the sun wanted, even if it tried its very hardest, nothing it did could ever make those marks disappear."
There was a lapse then before Kurogane added "Besides, I'll bet the sun doesn't even know how to accept the moon's requests. It might really want to but so few have ever made those kinds of suggestions to the sun that it doesn't even know where to start."
The wizard looked up at the ninja and smiled again but this time, it wasn't a fake smile like those he so often wore. It was real. Kurogane felt that terrifying sensation in his chest again and quickly looked away.
When Fai spoke next, he was resting his chin on Kurogane's shoulder so that the mage's lips were very close to the warrior's ear. "The moon knows that no one is perfect, even the sun. But if the sun will let the moon get to know it, if it will just let the moon get a little closer, then the moon will know that its requests have been accepted even if the sun doesn't say a word. Though nothing was said, it will be enough for the moon. But if the sun feels like it wants to say something or try to say something, the moon won't make fun of it. It will just smile and wait patiently. That much, I know for sure."
There was a note of finality in Fai's voice that told Kurogane that their little conversation was over. Though he was still confused and a little frightened of these new emotions he was having, somehow, just having Fai at his side made Kurogane sure that in the end, everything would turn out ok. It would be a cold day in hell before Kurogane told the smug wizard that, however, so he remained silent and did his best to keep his face from showing what he was thinking.
The sun and moon sat together in silence for a long while, reveling in the moment, each reflecting on what the other had said and each feeling happier than he could ever remember feeling before. Neither one moved for fear that the other was just under some sort of spell that would break at any sign of motion. They both sat stock still until Fai began to nod off, coming dangerously close to falling off the roof. Kurogane snarled and grabbed the blond by the back of his collar.
"What the hell is the matter with you?" he growled. "You nearly fell off the roof, dumb ass."
"But I'm sleepy, Taiyou chaaaaaaaan," Fai whined, though there was a lazy grin on his face. "And it's cooooooold," he added, rubbing his hands on his thin arms to generate warmth.
"My name isn't Taiyou chan, bastard," Kurogane said dangerously, carefully not looking at the wizard.
"Awww, Taiyou myu is a meanie," Fai pouted.
He sat there for one more minute before sighing and beginning to drag himself to his feet. Before he could get all the way up though, Kurogane's hand darted out from under his cloak and snatched the corner of the mage's shirt, stopping him. Fai looked down at him, bewildered. Kurogane was carefully avoiding his gaze but didn't let go, so Fai took this to mean he was supposed to sit back down. He did so obediently. For a moment, nothing happened and Fai wondered if maybe he had misinterpreted the ninja's actions. He was just about to ask what Kurogane wanted when the warrior reached up hesitantly and put his hands on Fai's shoulders. Fai watched his companion carefully but Kurogane was looking determinedly at the ground below.
Then, he roughly brought Fai to his chest, holding him there tightly. The wizard's eyes were wide with surprise for a moment before he smiled and climbed happily into Kurogane's lap, nestling his cheek into the ninja's warm chest. He could hear Kurogane's heart beating furiously as he closed his eyes. Awww, how incredibly adorable! Fai thought, he's embarrassed! He kept his mouth shut however, knowing that to voice these thoughts would be pushing his luck and would only serve to embarrass the ninja further and thereby shatter his confidence.
"Taiyou kun, you're so warm," Fai muttered sleepily. "Promise you'll never let go, ok?"
Kurogane made another derisive noise in his throat but said nothing. Not until Fai's breathing had become slow and rhythmic did the ninja chance a downward glance at the sleeping wizard. His fine, pale beauty really did have lunar qualities now that he thought about it.
Kurogane reached down and brushed a lock of fair hair away from Fai's forehead with a tenderness that scared him. Just then, a strange thought occurred to him: if he, the sun, was holding Fai, the moon, did it make a solar eclipse? Very slowly and nervously, Kurogane touched his lips to Fai's forehead and the mage's last words echoed in his head. "Taiyou kun, you're so warm. Promise you'll never let go." Alright, Tsuki kun, Kurogane thought as he drew Fai's slender frame close once more. I promise.