A/N Not my best writing I'll admit but let me know what you think.
Song: If You Come Back By Blue
Enjoy! x
- Come Back...
C'mon c'mon
Yeah
Can you feel me?
(Baby can you feel me?)
I've got something to say
Check it out
For all this time
I've been lovin' you girl
Oh yes I have
And ever since the day
You left me here alone
I've been trying to find
Oh, the reason why
18th of June:
"I'm sorry Draco I can't do this," Hermione Granger sobbed as the tears from her eyes rolled down her flushed cheeks. "I can't do it anymore, I can't choose, I can't pretend..." The big black entrance gates to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry were wide open. Hermione looked around her, the space was crowded, people crying and hugging, Witches and Wizards of all shapes and sizes promising their friends they would keep in touch. "I love you Draco...I hope you know that...but I can't...not anymore...It's not fair on any of us..."
Silver eyes met with Caramel. Pleading mixed with regret and sorrow. "Don't do this..." Over the past year Draco Malfoy had discovered there was a whole lot more to life than becoming a Deatheater, Hermione had taught him different, risked her friends and safety for him. No one had ever done that before...no one had ever cared for him like she had, and now she was going to dissapear, walk out of his life if he didn't stop her. "Please...don't leave me...I need you...don't leave me now, not after all we've been through together."
He was making it harder than it needed to be...every word knoted her insides tighter and tighter until she found she couldn't breathe. "No...you know I have to...We can't." her chest ached terribly and her heart was snapping into two, and then again after that into more pieces until she realized if she didn't go now then she never would.
"We can! We can, we can go anywhere, we can move away, into the countryside, away from all this, be together just you and me..." Draco found he was now holding Hermione's arms tightly as he desperatly pulled random ideas from his head.
They were in a corner of the yard anyway, just out of view of everyone else which was a blessing in a way. Hermione didn't want to just dissapear or make a scene, she wanted to explain. Say goodbye. He was right in a way, they could run away, but she knew that was the cowards way out, she was needed to fight this war, support her friends and the Order, she couldn't just abandon them... "Draco..." it came out as a mere whisper. "You know that won't work, I can't stay here and fight against you, I just can't," Caramel eyes blinked and a fresh set of tears slid down her cheeks, almost instantly they were wiped away by Draco's thumbs and soothing words were whispered into her ear as he pulled his little girl into his arms. Because that was exactly what she was...on the inside Hermione was still only a little girl. Sure she had done a very good job over the past of masking her true feelings and being exceptionally brave but Draco knew. She just wanted to be held and told she was more beautiful than every star in the sky, to be told she was wanted and she that there was no need to worry anymore because someone was there now. There to take all the pain away. Tell her it would all be okay. He knew he was making it hard, but he couldn't give up. Not after everything they had together.
Hermione knew if she didn't do it now she never would, un-clasping her hands from around his waist she looked up at him breifly before their lips moulded together in a passionate kiss. Draco knew as well as she did that this was goodbye. They both wanted it to last, to be their most memorable, most meaningful. Weather or not anyone was looking the two couldn't care less. Nothing else mattered, just the two of them locked in a loving embrace. It was Draco who pulled away hoping he might get the chance to purswade her. "Please Don't-" Hermione pressed a finger to his lips as she watched him wanting to take in every minute, record every faint line on his face, everything, she wanted to remember him, she never wanted to forget. "I love you...don't forget that." she whispered, eyes closed before she removed her finger, reopened her eyes, turned and began to walk towards the gate.
Not looking back at the man she had fallen in love with, not looking back when he called her name, she carried on walking, one foot after the other. She wouldn't let herself look back.
"Hermione!"
"Hermione I love you, don't leave! We can find a way!" a distant strangled voice pleaded with her as he watched her bushy brown hair disappear amongst the other students whom had also just graduated. Draco desperatly wanted to go after her...but he was glued to the spot, tears running down his own cheeks. He didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. Hermione only ever mattered to him, she was his sole purpose for living and now she was gone. Gone. Now there was nothing. Nothing mattered now.
So if I did
Something wrong
Please tell me
I wanna understand
'Cause I don't want
This love to ever end
4 years later:
Hermione threw down the polishing cloth and flopped onto the sofa next to Ron who was reading yesterdays newspaper and sourrounded with snotty tissues. It was a lovely hot summer's day, and she had a week off from work; a week which she was hoping to spend having fun and relaxing. She wanted to go on holiday but Ron had decided to catch the flu so Hermione had invited Ginny and Harry to stay for the week insted. Hermione walked into the kitchen and pulled out a butterbeer from the fridge and poured some more green liquid into a glass. It shocked her that suddenly she was thinking about Draco Malfoy. Again. It had been fours years now and she was still having dreams about him, wondering what he was doing...if he was okay. Many times Hermione had thought about showing up on his doorstep or ringing him, but she decided against it everytime. Four years was a long time, he had probably moved on anyhow. It hurt to tell herself that she need to aswell. Ron and her were not married, not yet atleast. He had asked her just a year after they had left Hogwarts and bought a house just outside of London, but Hermione couldn't she was still mourning for Draco. He wasn't dead but he may as well have been. Comming out of her daze she picked up the beverages and joined Ron on the sofa.
"Can you believe it's been four years since we left Hogwarts?" Ron said as he took a sip.
Hermione cringed whenever he brought up the subject, her memory flooded with memories and thoughts of her and Draco, time they had spent together, things that had been said...done. She would never forget the first time they made love. Although most people assumed Draco to be a heartless, cruel wizard incapable of any emotion like his father, Draco was actually quite the gentleman, Draco Malfoy was seriously misunderstood, he was really the most gentle, caring, thoughtful, passionate person she had ever met. There was this completly different side to him, the side that no one except her ever saw. The most clear memory she had however was not one she cherished, it was one that haunted her most nights in her sleep. The day she left him, left him standing there, calling after her, the day she walked away from him despite the fact he kept calling for her, despite the fact she desperatly wanted to run back into his arms and never let go of him, she kept walking and she hated herself for it.
Yes it may have been for the best but ever since a part of her had been missing and the gaping hole inside her only grew larger and larger every time she thought of the blonde haired wizard she still loved despite everything. It hurt to remember, it hurt to think and ask herself why she did it, why she left, why had she not got back in touch? tried to find him? Why hadn't he tried to get back in touch with her? the awnser was simple. She knew it, but she didn't want to accept it. Draco had moved on. And prehaps now after four years it was time for her to move on too.
"Seems a long time ago," Hermione agreed.
And I swear
If you come back
Here's my life
Baby, till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
Oh yes you are
An entire manor to himself, a big pile of bricks that was of no use to Draco Malfoy. The house was cold and unwelcoming, just as it had been since he could remember growing up in the miserable house. His mother dead, his father in Azkaban and Voldemort lurking in some unknown place no doubt planning his next attack. The dark mark used to be the only thing on Draco's Christmas list, since the age of two every year he remembered sitting at his desk and in his best handwriting he would use his fathers green ink to write:
Dear Santa.
All I want for Christmas is the Dark Mark.
Not many years after the countless letters his wish was granted. The thought made him feel as if he was drowning in guilt. Maybe if he had listened to Hermione and not got the mark, and gone to Dumbledore, maybe she would not have left him…Maybe she would be here right now.
His mother had made him believe in Santa clause. He supposed it was something for him to look forward to instead of the beatings from his father. He missed his mother so much. He missed Hermione so much. It had crossed his mind many times that maybe he should contact her, find her, beg her to take him back...But it had been four years, four years was a very long time, there was no point. Hermione had probably moved on anyway...
I watched you go
You've taken
My heart with you
Oh yes you did
Every time
He had her address and had tried to owl her, but composing a letter was much harder than it sounds. What should he say? Each letter began with her name, each letter ended with his. It was the writing in the middle that was missing. If he wrote the truth it would go something along the lines of: I know I've messed up and I know I don't deserve you but I wish I hadn't let you go, I think about you all the time, it's killing me not knowing your okay, it's killing me that I can't be with you, you've still got my heart Hermione, you always have but I need you, here, with me. I know it sounds cliche but I can't live without you, can't breathe, can't eat, sleep, smile. I miss you so much. Please, take me back. Or if he were to make the letter simple it would look something like: Long time no see Granger, how are things? Four years went fast didn't it? Fancy meeting up somewhere, catch up? That of course was a complete lie, these past four years had gone excrucatingly(sp?) slow. Should his letter be personal or formal? Forever yours or Yours sincerly D.M?
I tried to reach you
On the phone
Baby you're never there
Girl you're never home
Did she want to see him again? Was she missing him as much as he was she? Were her dreams filled with thoughts of him as his were of her? Was this the way it was meant to be? Did she really want him back or was she only dreaming that she was missing him?
So if I did something wrong
Please tell me
I wanna understand
'Cause I don't want
This love to ever end
No, no, no, no
The last time he had seen her replayed in is head over and over and over like a broken record her words echoed. Again and again the images flashing right before his eyes.
I swear
If you come back
Here's my life
Baby, till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
Oh yes you are
No it wasn't a letter Draco Malfoy needed to write, these things need to be said in person. Grabbing a handful of floo powder he stepped into his fire place "28 Serpent Drive." although he was nervious he found that quite amusing.
Maybe I didn't know
How to show it
And maybe
I didn't know
What to say
It wasn't exactly a big posh, house but it had Hermione Granger written all over it. As the curious Malfoy approached the house he could now see the cream coated walls and the hanging baskets of flowers. The patch of freshly mowed green grass and a red convirtable outside in the driveway. By time he had reached the door and knocked on it twice then one again with a two second interval Draco was beginning to doubt his decision. Was this really what he wanted? Was it fair? On either of them? Should he bring up the past again? Take the risk of it causing more hurt? What if she slammed the door in his face? What if-
"Drink up Ron, it will make you feel better," Hermione took hold of the glass and handed it to him.
"But it tastes discusting..." Ron sniffed, his nose all blocked
"My mother always told me the nastier it tastes the better it is for you... So drink up." she replied smiling.
"But-"
Ron didn't have time to argue, there were a series of short but firm knocks at the door which was funny because it sounded a lot like the secret code Draco would use when he snuck up to her room in the middle of the night. Unlocking the latch Hermione pulled on the handle and swung open the door expecting to see the mail man or someone...anyone execpt who she was now facing. No, Draco Malfoy standing on her front door step was definiatly unexpected.
"Long time no see." As soon as those words left Draco Malfoys mouth he instantly regretted them because they sounded very harsh and cold hearted.
What was he doing here? Hermiones mouth began to open and close like a fish until Rons questioning of who it was came from behind her. "No one important, listen I'm going out, we're out of milk," she stepped out and closed the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"
"Thought that might be obvious..." Draco replied rolling his eyes "I thought maybe we could talk?"
Althought it had been four years Hermione knew it was definiatly Draco Malfoy, his eyes were still the same metalic silver and his nose was still perfectly straight, his hair still an unkept scruffy mess, a blonde disarray. However he had certainly gown much taller and he obviously was still working out judging by the muscular look he produced. "Talk? About what? It's been fours years Draco, why did you pick now?"
That was a simple question which could be replied with a simple awnser "Because I can't live without you anymore, I know I've left it too long, and you've probably moved on but...I just needed to see you again..."
Hermione was lost for words and so she simply nodded slowly as she began to walk down the road towards the town centre, Draco caught up within a few steps and the two of them silently walked side by side.
This time
I won't, this time
Then we can
Build our lives
Then we can
Be as one
Why now? Four years...Ron...Draco...Four years...
"You and Weasley havn't...you know...gotten married?" Draco watched the beautiful woman beside him pause in her tracks so she could face him and shake her head in disagreement before she continued walking. That was enough of an awnser for him. For now atleast.
I swear
If you come back
Here's my life
Baby, till the end of time
(Come back to me
Come back to me
Here's my life)
Oh yeah
And I swear
I'll keep you right
By my side
'Cause baby
You're the one I want
(Come back to me
Come back to me)
Oh yes you are
"I'm sorry I left...I never meant...I thought..." Hermione was babling to Draco as they both sat in the corner of a small cafe with a cup of hot chocolate.
"I know," Draco was nodding watching her stare at him and then the drink. "I know why you did it, I don't balme you, I'm sorry I put you in that position to begin with..."
"You can't help who you fall in love with Draco, You think I planned falling for you? Trust me when I first met you I had no intention what so ever..." Hermione contiuned to stir her steaming drink.
"So...how have you been?"
Hermione sighed "Not bad I guess, I moved into that house with Ron pretty much straight after graduation, then I started my job at the Ministry. Harry and Ginny got married..."
"Potter and Weasley got married? Are you serious?"
Hermione frowned "Don't be like that, I think they make a perfect couple." she sipped at her drink then clincked it back onto the saucer. "So how about you? I heard about your mother...I'm sorry, I did think about comming to see you, really I did."
Draco pulled his mouth up into a half smile "I miss her, I miss you...I assume you know about father too? Then again who doesn't, Front page news for a whole week."
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't be...I'm not, he can rot in there for all I care. Besides mother left me the house, the entire estate is mine now."
"Draco...What exactly are you here for? What do you want from me?"
Draco frowned was it not obvious? "I'm here to make you listen..there's not been a day that's gone by when I havn't thought about you or tried to write you a letter. I havn't stoped loving you, never have never will, I know I screwed up big time, I know trust me I know and if I could take it all back...if I could go back and start over then I'd have listened to you and I wouldn't have been in this mess, you and me could have been together, happy."
"Draco..."
"No please, hear me out, then you can make your decision...I know I've made mistakes but all I'm asking is that you give me another chance, just one, please, I've changed Hermione, You changed me. These past four years have been nothing but hell and I really could have done with you being there, I've really missed you. Everywhere I go, everything I do you're there, in my head. But that's just it, I don't want it to just be in my head anymore. I want the real thing. We're both much older now, we can make better decisions. Hermione I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I know it's going to take time, But all I'm asking is that you try. Give it a year atleast, fine if it doesn't work out I'll leave, you'll never see me again."
He meant it alright, Hermione could tell by the way he was looking at her. Trouble was she hadn't been expecting that and therefore she was lost for words. What about Ron? Harry? What if it doesn't work out again? What if the Ministry take it the wrong way? This could all go so horribly wrong...
"Please Hermione, Just please, one more chance, please," Draco reached across the table and took both her hands into his "Please,"
Hermione watched his eyes while she searched desperatly inside her head for the right words "Draco...it's not that simple...Ron...Harry..."
"I'll be nice, I'll be good, I'll do anything for you, for us...all I'm asking is that you try, that we can give it a go..."
"Its going to take time Draco...it won't be instant..."
"One chance...all I'm asking for is one year." he replied looking into her eyes, the seriousness boring into her.
Was he serious? Oh Merlin he is...Could it work?
Draco got up from his chair and held out his hand
Hermione gazed up at him wide eyed until she eventually took his hand and rose from her chair.
Maybe I didn't know
How to show it
And maybe
I didn't know
What to say
This time
I won't, this time
Then we can
Build our lives
Then we can
Be as one
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