I'll tell you a story about Chuck E. Cheese, and why whenever I see his commercials I want to put my hand through a wall.

My name is Juan. In the 1970's I was a young teen, and I was going to move into this new neighborhood called Thor Ave. It was a silent neighborhood, and there was a lot to give you the creeps. I heard that there had also been murders. About three missing teens. My mom did not want me to go out, ever, when it got dark.

I never know what could be out there.

I was also looking for a job. Unfortunately, nothing came up. Nothing but a pizza place called Chuck E. Cheese Pizza Time Theater. So I thought 'What if I were to work at Chuck E. Cheese's?'

I went in and told them I wanted to work at Chuck E. Cheese's. They told me the night shift was available at the restaurant, so I did. I was not scared of the animatronics, so the job seemed good enough. Most people wouldn't take it because they were too scared, but I was brave(mostly) and could do the night shift.

So I heard something out back, and I went to go look but I got back and one of the animatronics was gone. When I was looking with my flashlight in the Parts & Services section of the building, I saw the Chuck E. Cheese mascot looking at me with evil, black bleeding eyes. I just stared back at it and felt my bones shaking more than I could not handle. My legs turned to jelly as he started playing the Chuck E. Cheese song, you know, the ones you hear on the stage during the day. I screamed when he got closer and yelled at him,

"Go away, Chucky! Get the fuck away from me! Please, just leave me alone!"

I fell to my knees as he ignored me, continuing to stare. I whispered,

"I'm screwed. So very screwed."

I flew out the door to go home with my Employee Uniform still on. I slammed the door shut and sighed deeply. 'He cannot get me in here,' I thought. But that didn't make anything better. I pulled up my blinds and I began to cry, because I saw him.

The same Chuck E. Cheese mascot looking at me.

I heard his mouse laugh. It sounded like a little girl's laugh, but squeakier and meaner. I just said to myself as I pulled down the blinds, "I'll tell my boss I'm going to quit tomorrow."

The next day, I woke up and thankfully forgot about that horrible incident last night.

Now, nothing will ever make me forget what happened that fateful week.

I worked the day shift later that afternoon. While leaving for home after my shift was over, I saw something weird.

I saw the Chuck E. Cheese mascot( minus his bleeding eyes, strangely enough), the same one from the day before behind the restaurant, go through the door to the backstage with a girl. They never came back out. Not for a whole hour did I think anything of it. I might even have imagined the day before with Chuck.

Boy, was I wrong.

A bloodcurdling scream emanated from the restaurant, and it shook me to the core. I ran to the backdoor and pulled it open. It was all black inside, but thankfully I hadn't taken off my Employee Uniform, and still had my flashlight. I walked through the door and turned it on.

At this point I was really freaked out.

I thought, 'It's a joke. The girl's probably with the manager, trying to scare me. Assholes! I knew it.' That made me chuckle, and convinced me everything was alright.

I got home that night and before I was even in the doorway I saw him again.

He was in my house. On the staircase to my room.

His black, bleeding eyes were back and his smile showed off his daggerlike teeth. In short, he was creepier than ever.

He stared for one whole minute at me.

I went into the kitchen, and almost threw up at the sight.

There were human guts in a bowl. Two eyeballs the color or my fucking mother's in a cup of ice, and hair stuck to the cotton candy maker we bought a few weeks ago. I sobbed and gave out a yell of rage as I grabbed the biggest and sharpest knife I could. I heard Chuck's mouse laugh again. He said with a chilling, childlike voice,

"Your time is up, Juan!"

I screamed as I charged and tried to stab the son of a bitch, but he jumped away with a cackle. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK!" I screamed at the mouse.

Before I knew it, Chuck was gone. I wasn't able to save my parents, or avenge them.

Despite my grief, I was relieved that the evil animatronic was gone, so I called the cops and told them there had been murders at my address, and that a new lead on the missing teens I mentioned earlier could be found at the Pizza Time Theater. They went over there, went through the backdoor I tried that afternoon, and there they were. The bodies of the missing teens, and the girl I had been dumb enough to allow to die. Mortuary Services came and picked up the bodies. The 'manager' had known about the condition of that particular Chuck E. Cheese machinery for quite some time, as he admitted in court.

The families of the teens murdered sued him and won. So much money was taken that the company went under, and Chuck E. Cheese and Co. became nothing but a bittersweet memory for most of America.

But not for me.

I still remember.

I still see his face, and the bodies, and the eyes and guts and everything else I saw that week, over twenty years ago.

I always will.

Proudly Co-Written with Mr. Blu-All Will Be Well