I love this song by Honor Society, but this piece didn't come out quite as nicely as I had hoped…If you haven't heard the song, now would be a good time to go listen to it! If you need motivation- it was co-written by Nick Jonas. Lol
It's a really cute song!
Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock characters or Honor Society or their songs.
I'm having trouble to believe
I was ever on your mind
It's getting harder just to breathe
Cause you left my heart on the battle lines
The wind blew her hair around her face, but she took no notice because her mind was much further away. Shane was gone-some party he "needed" to get to that night. Obviously, he didn't care enough that he had left Caitlyn at the hospital with her sick mother. It was hard to breathe when the realization hit her. Shane had left her alone.
You played the game
"This is my girlfriend, Caitlyn." Shane introduced her to yet another unfamiliar face, and as was expected, she put on a smile as best she could. The evening droned on and she was bored, but Shane definitely played the part of boyfriend very well that evening.
You called the shots
"Let's not go tonight, Shane," Caitlyn sighed, "I'm really tired of being in front of the cameras and we haven't had some fun-just the two of us-in forever." Shane lifted his face from the sheet of paper in front of him, a frown in place.
"But everyone expects me to be there." He stated, as if that was a good enough reason to go. It wasn't as though he was required to be there-it was just one of those parties that most celebrities went to.
"Please, Shane, I miss being with just you…" Caitlyn seated herself next to him, placing a hand on his knee and pleading him silently to agree.
"I gotta be there, Cait, sorry." Shane shrugged, turning back to the scribbled words of the song in progress he had in front of him.
You get what you want
But it's not enough
Caitlyn went with Shane, deciding that it was better to be with him in annoying surroundings then not with him at all. She'd admitted defeat; he got what he wanted from her-again.
"C'mon, Caity, we can't leave yet-people would see us being one of the first to leave." Shane stated in annoyance, trying to speak all this with a fake smile still plastered to his face in case someone was taking their picture.
"First to leave?" Caitlyn grumbled, "A lot of people have left already, Shane, and I'm really tired and these heels are killing me."
"Just a little longer?" he tossed her a hopeful look, "For me?"
"I didn't even want to come tonight, but for you, I did." She sighed, giving him a shurt look that she seemed to be in capable of doing enough 'for him', "Isn't that enough?" Shane simple gave her a blank look before shaking his head."
Well I come to you
With a broken heart
So before I go
Gotta let you know
"Shane?..." Caitlyn hated the way she sounded so weak and vulnerable. Which she was at the moment. Was she really making the right decision here? Yes, he'd broken her heart on numerous occasions, but she still loved him. She was just too scared that he would be mad if she told him so.
"Yeah?" he sounded irritated again that she was interrupting his working on putting music to a song. Brown eyes failing to keep the annoyance out of them, Shane waited for her to go on.
Well you never did care
Enough about me
Anyway
Despite his protests-Caitlyn's tears sped up when she realized they were weak-she left his house and climbed into her car. It took a moment for her to sit and gather all that had just occurred. Maybe her hesitation was actually an excuse to see whether he would come after her.
The front door of his house remained closed.
So I guess it'd be best
For both of us
If I didn't stay
She tried to keep the tears at bay as she drove home, wondering where she'd gone wrong. What had she not done for him? Caitlyn had twisted and changed her schedule for almost every single week to match his insane one.
Obviously it was best that she didn't stay.
Well you never did care
Enough about me
Anyway
When she reached her house, Caitlyn couldn't help it. She checked her cell phone to see if he'd called or texted, feeling the tears falling again when even her answering machine hadn't a message on it.
He never did care enough.
Left my heart
On the floor
Now you know
Gotta go
My own way
Caitlyn loved him. She had loved him as deeply as possible, but in return it only felt as though Shane had left her heart on the floor. To be trampled or forgotten. Even though she loved him, it was plain to see she had to leave him.
I can't stay
She would only be a nuisance if she had stayed. Maybe Shane had been waiting for her to give up and leave. Maybe he really had hoped she wouldn't stay much longer.
My own way
Caitlyn tossed and turned before falling asleep, telling herself the next day would be much easier. It would be her first step to going her own way, for once-instead of Shane's.
It's getting harder to believe
You were ever on my mind
It took awhile for me to see
Now I know that you were lying
His face flashed into her mind again as Caitlyn walked hurriedly through the studio. It had been two weeks and she couldn't believe he was still on her mind. Shane hadn't tried to contact her in anyway, and Caitlyn finally came to understand and see the truth.
Shane had been lying all along.
Well I played your games
For long enough
Everything she'd done was exactly what Shane had asked of her. She'd played the part of girlfriend. She'd gone through numerous parties that were nearly torture for her. She'd smiled for the cameras. She'd only said nice things about him when a reporter asked her.
I took all your shots
In the end you lost
It had been a habit to try to twist the situation to make herself believe he really cared. Really loved her like she had come to love him. Caitlyn had taken every roundabout insult as Shane's unique way of helping her to improve her faults. His every negative observation of where she fell short was his strange way of showing he cared and wanted her to strive for the best.
You and me
Wasn't destiny
It obviously wasn't destiny for them to be together, or else it wouldn't have worn on Caitlyn to remain by his side for so long. Love shouldn't hurt so bad when it was supposed to be intact. Her love on one side and Shane's lack of on the other had weighed them both down, so they didn't move forward correctly.
But from the start
Wasn't meant to be
She should have known from the start. Their first kiss hadn't even seem to mean anything to him. Caitlyn brushed the fact aside, telling herself inwardly that he was just too suave to react or show his emotions.
But no, it just hadn't been meant to be.
Well you never did care
Enough about me
Anyway
Walking through the large building, Caitlyn sighed that she'd fixed the mix up between a few coworkers. The date for the band's first album release had been incorrect due to some lack of communication but everything was sorted out right.
Lost in her own thoughts, Caitlyn stopped in her tracks at the sight she saw. Shane walking down the hall in her direction, Mitchie clinging possessively to his arm. Struggling to act casual, she took calm steps until his words stopped her.
"Hey, Cait, haven't seen you in awhile." He stated simply, making her heart crumble even further. It had only been two weeks since their breakup, "Sorry, but I've gotta be somewhere."
And just like that he was gone, not even caring about Caitlyn's hurt look. He never did care much.
So I guess it'd be best
For both of us
If I didn't stay
All the memories haunted her for the rest of the day. Shane was showered with her affect, her attention and love of him in the past. It had been her that kept them together and going for so long. Now that Caitlyn looked back on the past, she realized he had rarely done her a favor or showed even a hint of affection.
Well you never did care
Enough about me
Anyway
The next day was much better. Caitlyn figured her anger at Shane was a step toward recovery and let the fury burn inside her, keeping the tears from falling. Maybe she would get over him yet.
Left my heart
On the floor
Now you know
Gotta go
My own way
The lie she told herself all day, though, was just that- a lie. Caitlyn scolded herself for letting her feelings run awry and falling for someone like him. Her mind spun when he had been around but he always had something negative to say when she kissed his lips when they were alone.
I can't stay
She tried to keep the anger alive, but it was hard. Caitlyn kept telling herself to move on, go her own way. The thoughts quickly faded into sorrow, though. She hated the self pity she felt.
My own way
What was her own way, anyways? Shane had been her everything. With him gone, where was she supposed to go? Sure, Caitlyn had her music producing taking off, but one can't drown themselves in work forever-that would result in suffocation.
I gave you everything
But nothings ever good enough
I tried to be the one
You'd call, the one that you could trust
When she heard of Shane and Mitchie breakup mere days after seeing them together, Caitlyn scoffed. The jerk had successfully broken another girls heart yet again. But finding him seated on her doorstep when she got home was the last thing she had expected.
"Shane?" Caitlyn felt the familiar word pass her lips, and her stomach dropped when he looked up and met her eyes with a sad look.
"Mitchie broke up with me." He stated simply, "Why does that keep happening?"
"What are you doing here?" she snapped, annoyed that her plan of moving on was melting at seeing him look so disappointed.
"You said you'd always be there." Shane stated slowly, looking at her as though she was crazy, "You said that no matter what it was, I could call you, trust you."
But the games have all been played
And there's nothing left to say
"I'm not a doormat." Caitlyn hissed, "I said that back when I thought you cared. That you'd say the same thing. I tried being there for you, Shane. I tried being the one you could trust. But while I was serious, it was just a game for you."
"So, you're taking your promise back now that-" Shane began to speak mockingly, eyes blazing at her cold words. Caitlyn shook her head and interupted.
"You didn't come here because of me, you came here because you want pity and attention. It's not going to work." She snapped, pushing past him to enter her house. Just before closing the door on his look of disgust, she spoke again, "That's all I have to stay."
So shut the door
Cause you have overstayed your welcome, girl
"Shane, Nate's in the hospital, you've got to come quick." Caitlyn spoke the instant he opened the door. After a car accident and an ambulance taking Nate away, she had been desperate to be of help, telling Jason she'd let Shane know. But he wasn't answering his phone.
"Caity, what are you doing here?" Shane asked flatly, eyeing her up and down with distaste.
"Did you not just hear me?" she folded her arms over her chest, "Nate. Hospital. Now."
"Don't tell me what to do." He stated, but Caitlyn's retort died on her lips at seeing Mitchie appear by Shane's side.
"What she doing her?" she demanded instead, "Wasn't she the one who broke up with you, resulting in you dragging your pathetic self to my doorstep?"
"I think you've worn out your welcome." He stated coolly, shutting the door in her face.
Don't call me back
Cause you know that I'll keep going on
They had a run in at the hospital a few days later. Nate was going to be okay so Caitlyn was in a good mood. That is, until she reach the parking lot and Shane managed to fall into step next to her.
"I miss you, Caity." He stated simply. The words almost made her believe him. Almost. Shane almost sounded like he was speaking with affection. Almost.
"No, you don't." she replied, "You miss the attention I used to give you. You miss having someone who fell so deep for you that they stuck around and always came back." She sped her steps up, eager to reach her car.
"Caity, wait!" his words met her ears, but she only climbed into her car and locked the doors.
I'm telling you I'm gone
He had another girlfriend the next week and Caitlyn was angry all over again.
I'm telling you…
She had loved him. And she still did.
Well you never did care
Enough about me
Anyway
"You're so special." Caitlyn whispered in his ear, sliding her arms around his waist from behind and kissing the back of his neck, "You're my everything."
"Thanks, Cait, that's sweet." Shane had replied simply, sounding distracted as he continued with what he was doing.
Caitlyn attempted to push the memory from mind, not sure if it was a good one, or a bad one. It reminded her of the freedom she once had to love him, but it also reminded her of his not caring.
So I guess it'd be best
For both of us
If I didn't stay
It had been a nice party. Jason's wedding was beautiful and Caitlyn had actually enjoyed herself. That is, until Shane happened to glance her way. Those eyes of his…those beautiful eyes that she used to love to have on her- because it didn't happen very often-burned into her.
She muttered an excuse to Nate, seated next to her during the reception, and left early.
Well you never did care
Enough about me
Anyway
"Kiss me before you go, Shane." Caitlyn pleaded softly, not sure why she felt so desperate that one night. He never kissed her before they parted for the day, why did it matter so much that night?
"Why?" he looked at her scrutinizing, but she only sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck, wishing she didn't have to be afraid of telling him of her love.
Without another word, he obeyed her request- kissing her with such fervency and passion that Caitlyn had thought he meant it. The joy and happiness at the thought filled her the next couple of minutes.
That had been one of the rare times Caitlyn believe that Shane almost loved her. Memories like that whispered to her that if he had tried a little harder, he would have fallen just as deeply for her.
Left my heart
On the floor
Now you know
Gotta go
The wedding was beautiful, and Caitlyn was beyond happy. He may have left her heart on the floor, but it had been eventually picked up again.
My own way
Happiness wasn't impossible any longer.
I can't stay
"Who was your first love?" her husband whispered in her ear after the wedding, and Caitlyn leaned into his chest from where they stood on the balcony that over looked brightly lit city.
"A man named Shane Gray."
"Do you still love him?" the confused words came at Caitlyn' strange tone but she only turned to rest her hands on his warm neck. Nate sighed in relief at her next words, having been temporarily worried.
My own way
"No. I found my own way."
Listen to the song! And thank you for reading! Reviews? Maybe?...