Extreme! Kingdom Hearts II Interview!

With your host: S&C44!

Who owns absolutely none of this. Seriously. If I did, Donald and Goofy wouldn't suck donkey balls in the second game. And the levels wouldn't be a bad re-enactment of the movies…(I played this game for 15 hours straight the first day I got it, don't think I don't appreciate it).

My queer intro song:

This is my interview! With who? The KH two crew! Woo-hoo! All the other interviews blew…mine is something new! Cast members just for you!

Thank you; thank you. Now, on with the original program…

Interview Number One: Shadow Heartless – The most evil bug around

S&C44: "Welcome! Welcome to the first installment of my Kingdom Hearts II interviews. Here I talk to and about the characters we see in the second installment of this kick-ass game for your reading pleasure. Due to an extremely low budget (and lack of people to kidnap the really cool characters) our first guest is…Shadow heartless!"

/Shadow hops out from behind the curtain to very mild cheers and applause from the 17 audience members there. Sinking into the ground, it scurries up to its chair and peers around

S&C44/Grabs note cards and shuffles them around\ "So, Shadow – may I call you that – you've become quite famous over the past 4 years. Since the debut of Kingdom Hearts you've been the symbol of all Heartless everywhere. What's it like being the superstar?"

Shadow/Makes squishy noises\

S&C44: "I see…very interesting. I didn't realize you could reproduce at all, let alone with a CAT. And Mittens has been your spouse for how long?"

Shadow/More squishy noises\

S&C44: "25 years…wait, the franchise came out in 2002! You lying bastard! I bet you can't even reproduce!"

Shadow/Cries\

S&C44: "Okay…look, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have been so harsh." /Reaches over to comfort Shadow\

Shadow/Bites S&C's hand and kicks him in the head, knocking him unconscious. Then crawls over to S&C's limp body, snags his wallet and runs off\

(Intermission)

5 minutes later...

S&C44/Groans and stands up slowly\ "Ouch…that bastard. Well this interview was going nowhere anyway, and besides - …That motherfucker took my God damn wallet! Oh, as monkey! Well any – fucking – way, I have to go find something that closely resembles a keyblade and get my wallet back. And don't forget to join me next week when my guest doesn't SUCK SO MUCH!" /Hollers backstage\