Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, that would be the amazing JKR.
AN: Fluffy in some parts, mostly canon with a few exceptions.
**** I wrote this with the idea that it was a movie and the narrator is Ginny, so the parts without dialogue are like voiceovers, the parts that have dialogue are where we slip into a memory, except the end which is where her thoughts catch up to her. I know it's not that confusing, but I thought I'd tell you anyway.
Harry Potter is the first boy I ever truly loved. The kind of love that I never thought I'd have but always wanted. The kind of love that consumes you, that changes you and everyone who comes into contact with it.
"You're beautiful." I heard Harry whisper. I looked up to find him watching me instead of working.
"And you're incorrigible." I said in a teasing tone. No matter how often I tried to get him to do his homework, he refused. He always said, 'I would rather watch you than stare at my work for hours without making any progress. We have so little time together as it is, why waste it with homework?'
"Ah my dear, there you are correct. However, isn't that why you love me?" He asked, with a wide smile. He was such a flirt, even now after we had been together for nearly a year.
"Why I do believe you caught me." I said, raising from my chair and crossing to sit on his lap. "It must be that, it couldn't possibly be your incredible smile, your eyes, your unruly mop of hair, or your smile that's just for me. It couldn't be your loyalty, bravery or selflessness; it must be the fact that you are inevitably, unbelievably, perpetually undisciplined when it comes to your academic responsibilities." I finished, kissing him softly before pulling away and smiling at him.
"You wound me." He stated with a twinkle in his eyes. I merely laughed and began to rise. His hands restrained me, pulling me back down to his lap. I looked at him, confused. His smile had been replaced with an intense look, one I couldn't look away from even if I had wanted to. "I love you. I love you more than anything, you know that right?"
I nodded and said, "I love you, Harry. You are everything to me." He does this every so often, proclaiming his love in such a serious manner. I'm afraid that the constant threat of Voldemort reminds him that every moment is precious and that he must be prepared for anything to happen next. I can see it in his eyes sometimes, that he is almost bracing himself for the inevitable chaos and pain. I wish I could tell him everything will be okay, but I feel something coming too. I don't know what, and I don't know when it will come, but something big is not far off the horizon; and with him being the Chosen One, I know without a doubt, that whatever is coming, is heading straight for him.
"Ginny, something's coming, I can feel it." He said, gripping my hand.
"I know Harry, I know." I laid my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him. He hugged me back, tight. There were no words, nothing of comfort to say. All we could do was hold on to each other, and try to give the other strength to get through what would come next.
...
Dumbledore is dead. I can't seem to wrap my head around this fact, even as I walk down to his funeral. He and Harry had left the castle to do something, Harry won't tell me what. When they returned the Headmaster was murdered. I remember the chaos before they returned, spells flying everywhere, bodies on the ground but no time to see if there were still alive. Death Eaters were everywhere; the castle corridor was crumbling from the spells hitting it. Then there was a sudden change in the fight, Death Eaters we hadn't been fighting until then came running through the corridor, jumping over bodies, sidestepping spells, then Snape came. I didn't have a chance to wonder why he was with the Death Eaters before Harry came running, charging after them. That's when they started retreating, all of them running towards the entrance hall to escape.
Pulling myself from this terrifying memory I sat down next to Harry and grabbed his hand. I could tell he was still in shock from the whole situation. Harry has lost so much, his parents, his godfather, his mentor and friend. And he is being hunted by the most cunning and evil wizard the world has ever seen. I don't know exactly what he feels, but as I squeeze his hand he looks at me and I don't see the pain like I thought I would, yes there is sorrow there, but more importantly I see determination. From that one look I know he is preparing for something, something I won't be happy about. I can see the struggle deep within, I shouldn't really be surprised. This is Harry Potter, his sense of nobility and responsibility is what drives him. He didn't choose his fate, but he won't walk away from it. Now it seems he is preparing to run straight towards it, and I know from looking in his eyes that I will not be running with him.
"Ginny, we need to talk." He said, after the service ended. We walked hand in hand around the lake, away from everyone else.
He opened his mouth to speak, but I spoke before he could, "Don't Harry. I know, I think I have known this day would come for awhile now. I don't know exactly what it is you need to do, and I understand why you won't tell me. Whenever you have to leave, I want you to be able to do so knowing that I understand and that no matter what I will always be waiting for you. I love you, you are my world, and I will always love you. When the time comes I won't pretend to like it, but I promise you I will support it, support you. Now let's just enjoy whatever time we have left, together."
"You have always known me so well, haven't you?" He smiled softly, "I love you Ginny, but this is something I have to do, and I have to do it soon. I don't know how long I will be gone, or if I will ever make it back to you. I need you to know that now, I can't tell you I will be back, because I honestly don't know if I will. If you want to move on with someone else, I won't…"
Here I cut him off, "You are the only one who can make me happy. Now, can we just forget everything else for a moment and just be us?" I replied. He took my hand and pulled me to the lake, sitting down he pulled me with him. I settled myself against his chest and his arms came around me.
"We can do anything you want, love." He breathed, tightening his hold on me.
I relaxed into the embrace, we sat there until the sun had completely set, not talking, just holding each other.
Over the next few weeks we spent almost every waking moment together. We took walks, we holed ourselves up in the Room of Requirement away from everyone, but mostly we talked. We talked about how much the other meant to us and how we didn't want to lose each other. He still wouldn't tell me what he had to do, he said it was for my safety, but he did tell me that it was the only thing that would help destroy You-Know-Who.
...
Eventually summer came, and our plan to get Harry safely to the Burrow ended with Mad-Eye Moody's death. Nearly a week later I found myself sitting outside just after dark, right at the edge of our protection enchantments, hidden from view by a large tree. I knew what was coming, and despite promising Harry I understood and I would support him I felt my heart breaking.
"Ginny?" Harry's voice came from behind me. He sat down beside me and grabbed my hand. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I have to put you through this; I know that it's not fair. None of this is."
"No Harry, it's not. But it's not your fault anymore than it's mine, and we just have to live with what happens."
"It is my fault Ginny, everything is my fault." His voice broke and he started crying silently. I know I'm the only person he let's his guard down this much with, and I can't help but feel privileged that he trusts me so implicitly, but that is overshadowed by the fact that he is blaming himself for the actions of a madman.
"No Harry, it's not your fault. You didn't ask for this, you're not the one starting a war. None of this is your fault, do you hear me?" I found myself pressed against his side, holding him as he cried.
"But it is my fault. I may not have started it but it's my fault that everyone is hurting. It's my fault that my parents, Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore and Mad-Eye are all dead. They died protecting me, and helping me. Or they died simply because they were in the way." A small sob escaped his mouth as he finished and I held onto him tighter.
"Harry, everything that happened, was because You-Know…Voldemort made it happen. Everything was because of him. You can't blame yourself for this or it will destroy you." I rubbed his back soothingly.
"Look at me, crying about everything while you sit there so strong." He said, smiling through his tears.
"I'm not as strong as I seem."
"I'm sorry." He whispered, and I shook my head, there was nothing he needed to apologize for. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he started talking again. "I wish I could tell you more, you deserve to understand, but I can't risk you getting hurt. You mean too much to me Ginny. That's why we have to break this off, for now. Because otherwise someone can use you to get to me, and I can't put you in danger like that." Harry said his voice full of regret.
I didn't know what to say in response so I just grabbed his hand and held it tight. I saw tears in his eyes, I watched as they spilled over onto his cheeks and I reached out one hand to wipe them away. When my fingers touched his face Harry's eyes found mine. His fingers tightened around my hand while the other hand came up to my face. He stroked my cheek lightly.
"I love you so much Ginny."
"I love you too, Harry." I breathed. He looked in my eyes one more time before leaning in and brushing his lips against mine softly, then kissing me fully. I gasped into his mouth; the intensity of the kiss surprised me. Weaving my hands into his hair I kissed him harder before pulling back and looking into his eyes. A small groan escaped him, full of sorrow and passion, before he crushed our lips back together, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me firmly against him. After a minute my hands moved from his hair to his face, stroking softly and the kiss turned soft and sweet. It felt like a goodbye.
With a sigh Harry pulled back. Unbidden, a tear streaked down my face and he kissed it away before pulling me into an embrace. We sat until we heard my mother calling for us to come inside. He helped me up and we walked in silence, through the house and all the way to my room before we both stopped. He took my hand and placed it over his heart and said, "You are my heart, please be safe," before leaning in and whispering in my ear, "I love you."
"I love you." I replied. Pulling back he kissed my lips softly. He backed away until my arm was almost pulled from his grasp, then looking me in the eyes he kissed the palm of my hand and turned, walking up the stairs. I watched him until he was out of my sight, tears streaming down my face. "Goodbye." I whispered, before turning to my room.
The next morning Harry was gone. He, Ron and Hermione had left before anyone had woken up. As I fell asleep that night, I cried. I cried for all the things I so desperately wanted and had been so close to having. I cried for Harry, for what he was being forced to endure. I cried for the future I was afraid I had lost forever.
...
I caught glimpses of Harry during the final battle, but I never had a chance to speak to him, and when I finally saw him in Hagrid's arms, presumably dead, I died inside. "NO!" I screamed. I tried to run to him, I wanted to hold him, I wanted to kill this evil creature who took away my love and my future, but my father held me back. I fought against him determined to kill Voldemort myself. After everything that had happened, after everything Harry had been through, after everyone had sacrificed themselves to keep him alive, we lost.
When Nagini was killed by Neville and a battle erupted I saw Harry, alive and fighting. I saw a spell fly from his wand and time seemed to slow, when the spell hit Voldemort his body lurched forward, falling, all traces of life gone. When he hit the ground the Death Eaters all turned to Harry, furious and ready to kill. Harry was too far away from anyone on our side, the Death Eaters formed a wall that would be impossible to get through in time. In desperation I screamed, "Harry!" His eyes snapped to mine, "RUN!" I could see the conflicting emotions, he didn't want to leave. Pleading with my eyes for him to listen I mouthed 'I love you.' His face crumpled in agony, pain and sadness pouring from him so intensely I could practically feel it from here. 'I love you' he said back. The Death Eaters converged, almost covering him from view. "Run! Please!" I cried, my voice cracking with emotion.
He turned and ran full-speed toward the gates. The Death Eaters ran after him, some were gaining on him. "Stupefy!" I yelled, tears running down my face. "Stupefy!"
At least ten Death Eaters escaped that day, and haven't been found. I haven't heard news of their deaths, nor have I heard new about Harry. I hope he is still on the run, and that the Death Eaters haven't caught up with him. We have no way to contact him and he hasn't contacted us. Whether that is because he believes we are being watched or because something has happened to him I don't know. I only know that I cannot live without the hope that he is alive, and that someday he will make it home.
...
Four years have passed since then and I still love him, it hasn't lessened, it hasn't dwindled, my love for him is as strong today as it was then. Four years later I still feel the pain, and the overwhelming feeling of emptiness. I expected it to fill over time, to lessen, but it hasn't.
I haven't moved on, not really. I got my own house, not far from the Burrow, and I began working for the Ministry. Ron and Hermione have two kids whom I adore and help watch every now and then, as well as Teddy, Harry's godson, but mostly I am alone. My family worries that I have become too much of a recluse, but it's something I can't help. I go to family parties, I have a few friends I see occasionally but I can't move on, I can't let go of what could have been.
Maybe I haven't tried hard enough to move on, maybe I'm stunting my own growth by holding on to him, but maybe not. Maybe it's because a love like ours, though we were torn apart, is strong enough to last a lifetime. Maybe I felt so much for him that my heart doesn't have enough left to give to another in that way.
I'm sure you're wondering what the moral of the story is, the reason everything happened. I can't give you that because I honestly don't know myself. Maybe it's that everyone has heartache, but you can keep on living. Maybe it's that you have to experience loss to appreciate when you have something beautiful. Maybe it's simply to let things happen, without interference, because it will lead you to where you need to be, instead of where you want to be. Or maybe, just maybe, the reason my heart never allowed me to let go of him, the reason our love still lives on is because we were destined to find each other again.
...
I was pulled from my reverie by a knock on the door. After dragging myself to the door I pulled it open. I stared, unable to form any words, finally composing myself I managed one.
"Harry?"
AN: So what do you think? Good? Bad? It was a very different way of writing than I've tried before so I'm curious if it turned out well. Is it a good ending, or should I write the actually reunion between Harry and Ginny?