This was something I had to explore.

.

.

They'd been sitting together an hour, the way they'd done so many times. They always found a corner, a ledge, a bench, some place to recoup, to talk or not talk. This time Clint brought the vodka. After the long silence and half a flask shared between them, Natasha finally began to speak. Clint listened like he always did. Her words and her silences had told him everything over the years. This time, there was a sadness in her voice that not even he had ever heard. When her pause invited his input, he began cautiously.

"You thought because you were both monsters…"

She nodded, not looking at him.

"Tasha." he spoke softly. She didn't turn her face to him. "Tasha." he coaxed again, this time gently knocking his knee against the side of hers. She looked toward him.

"You're not a monster."

"You know I'll always be."

She had held that belief as long as Clint had known her and yet it still stung him. "So, you did feel something for him or you just thought you'd be in good company?"

Natasha looked back down at her hands in her lap. "I thought I loved him. When I was with him I didn't feel like the only one anymore…" Natasha closed her eyes. "His monster recognized me, felt safe with me."

"Bruce cared about you, Nat, even loved you, but he knew better. He knew what a real monster was."

"He tried to tell me that the big guy was an obstacle between us. I didn't listen."

"Maybe you were right. Maybe he wasn't an issue for you, but he was for Bruce."

"That's why he ran away."

"Yeah." Clint nodded. That pained him too. Bruce was his friend.

"I miss him too. ...For what it's worth." Clint added.

Natasha's mouth quirked into a small smile. "Not worth a lot."

Clint chuckled softly. "I know."

Both of their smiles faded as they grew silent again. Clint picked up the small flask that sat beside him, took a sip then handed it to Natasha. She too drank a little and set it back down.

"So love isn't for children, huh?" Clint asked.

"I always thought so, but you and I both know I've never experienced it, not really. Only mimicked it and judged it."

"I know," Clint said soberly "...I'd never seen you like that with anyone, not sincerely."

"I didn't know how else to be honest? Children say exactly what they feel when they feel it. So I said what I felt when I felt it, like a child. …I've never done that before."

"Been honest?" Clint asked, all too ready to refute that lie. She had never been anything but honest with him.

"Been a child." She said quietly.

It wasn't news to him but it still hurt.

"I know." Clint didn't say anymore than that. His arm holding her close, his thumb rubbing softly against her shoulder, and his forehead against her temple, that was all there was to say.

.

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In this one shot, If Clint is married and they are just best friends, or Clint is single & they are best friends who could become more... TOTALLY up to you, dear readers. :)