Author's Note: In case you can't figure out my insanity, Kasey is Farnsworth's overweight girlfriend from the episode 300 Big Boys. Weatherly (to be featured in part 2!) is the cross-species dresser (called Grrl in her Omicronian costume) from the episode Lrreconcilable Ndndifferences. The italicized words at the bottom of each section are song lyrics that inspired the pieces. I would like to give a shout out to MissusPatches, whose beautiful art on inspired the pairings for Aries and Scorpio (which will be in part 2!). MissusPatches, your art is so beautiful!
Disclaimer: Futurama and these characters do not belong to me.
The New Zodiac, Part 1
by Mika Casey
Capricorn, The Sea-Goat
January 27th, 3012
"Kasey?"
The brunette woman lying in bed with Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth rolled over so she could face him properly. Her eyes were soft with sleep as she responded to him. "Yes, Hubey?"
Hubert bit his lower lip. His body was once again made youthful by stem cells, a tradition he and Kasey had been celebrating annually. She would slim her body down with her belly ring and the professor would smooth out his wrinkles so they could spend the night together in surreal bliss.
After licking his lips, Hubert spoke. "I can't sleep." He brought a hand up to caress her soft, pale cheek. "All I want to do is look at you." He cupped her face with his palm, brushing her skin with his thumb.
Kasey blinked her chocolate brown eyes as she smiled sadly at him. "Look all you want, Hubert. Tomorrow I won't look like this."
Hubert couldn't stand her being sad. He winked at her playfully. "Kasey, I'll still look at you tomorrow. And I will still love you tomorrow." He leaned toward her and kissed her forehead. He felt the sheets move as she did.
Sighing, Kasey shifted closer to Hubert. "And I'll love you tomorrow. As well as the day after that, and the day after that..." She giggled deliriously as her eyes fluttered shut and her breathing slowed down.
Hubert watched happily as the pretty brunette drifted to sleep in his arms.
So much to see tonight,
So why'd you close your eyes?
Why can't I shut mine?
"Save Me" by Avenged Sevenfold
Aquarius, The Water Bearer
March 9th, 3012
Amy Wong stared in disbelief at the message that appeared on the small screen before her. She had just taken an electronic pregnancy test, and was appalled by the result. The words flashed in green on the screen.
Two embryos. Genetic contributors, Dr. Amy Wong and Lieutenant Kif Kroker.
She'd missed her period that month, but hadn't said a word to Kif yet. She wasn't sure how to feel yet, or how Kif would react. Their children that Kif had bore were still living out their unusually long infancy on Kif's home planet. The grand midwife had sent word to Kif that four tadpoles had survived the first few years. Three males and one female. Kif and Amy named the boys Kif Jr., Leo, and Brannigan. The girl was named Inez.
Now, Amy sat on her couch with proof that their brood was about to get bigger. She pressed a hand to her flat, exposed stomach.
"Amy, I'm home!" Kif's jovial voice filled the apartment, and Amy quickly turned over the pregnancy test so Kif couldn't see. He strut into the family room, mouth widened in a smile. "Our patrol around the centauri system went as planned. No catastrophes to speak of!"
Blinking up at her fonfon-rou, Amy bit her lip nervously. "That's nice. Hey, Kiffy, I need to tell you something."
Immediately, Kif could tell this was urgent. He seated himself next to her on the couch. "What's wrong, dearest?" He wrapped an arm around her, squeezing her gently and then leaning his head slightly onto her shoulder.
"I'm pregnant. With twins." Amy told him, smiling nervously.
Kif's face lit up. "Oh, Amy! This is great news!" He leaned down so he could press his ear against her stomach. "We won't have to wait another ten years to start our family!" He kissed Amy square on the mouth, lingering close to her after doing so. "Our children will finally have our DNA." Kif was referring to the fact that the older four were genetically Leela's children.
A smile decorated Amy's previously troubled face. "You're right, Kif. And they'll be perfect."
Kif looked into Amy's eyes very seriously. "Because you're their mother, my love. And I am the father. That is why they will be perfect." He took her hand and held it close to his chest.
A tear slid down Amy's cheek as she nodded.
Round and round and round and round we go,
Where we're going to stop, nobody knows.
"Round and Round" by 3 Doors Down
Pisces, The Two Fish
April 2nd, 3012
"Leela, watch this!"
The cyclops woman churned her arms through the water she was swimming in so she could face the voice that had bounced across the water.
A shock of red-orange hair bobbed just above the surface of the black water. The moonlight illuminated the water, making Fry and Leela look like darting black shadows in the water.
As Leela turned to watch Fry, she saw him move so he was floating on his back and could spread his arms and legs on the surface of the water. He was completely devoid of clothing, as was Leela, and he looked like an angelic vision on the darkened water.
Unable to keep herself from grinning, Leela gazed at Fry affectionately. Fry flipped in the water and ducked under the surface. For a moment, Leela couldn't see him beneath the swirling blackness.
Leela shrieked happily when she felt Fry's hands grasp her ankles. She closed her eye as she felt him climbing up her body.
He surfaced, his eyes glittering with mischief as drops of water trickled down his face. He brought his right hand around to the back of her head, spreading his fingers over the nape of her neck. "You are so beautiful."
Smiling, Leela pressed her mouth against Fry's cheek. She whispered quietly, "I love you, Fry."
"I love you too, Leela."
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find?
"Drops of Jupiter" by Train
Aries, The Ram
May 4th, 3012
Tinny Tim's footcups clicked loudly as he ran down the sidewalk of downtown Cookieville. He clutched a bouquet of roses against his chest as he turned a corner onto a desolate, almost empty street, called Sweetwood Lane.
The Bender B. Rodriguez Orphanarium loomed in solitude before Tinny Tim. It seemed empty and abandoned.
Rushing around the building to the back, Tinny Tim saw a ten foot tall chain link fence. Just beyond the fence, many little human orphans played with various toys. He heard a squeal of amusement from beyond the fence.
Approaching the chain link, Tinny Tim pressed his face the metal fence and his the flowers behind his back. He peered into the yard, looking fervently for a familiar face.
Tinny Tim's eyes lit up when he saw a brunette girl sitting cross-legged only a few feet from the fence. She was looking down at her hands, which were deftly creating a crown out of weeds she had probably picked from the yard. He could just see her glowing brown eyes as she focused on her project, and he could also see the third ear that sat directly in the middle of her forehead.
Barely able to control his excitement, Tinny Tim exclaimed. "Miss Sally!"
The girl looked up. A smile graced her face when she saw Tinny Tim pressed against the chain link fence. "Hello Tim!" She greeted him, standing up and abandoning her project in the dirt. Approaching the gate, Sally smiled at Tinny Tim.
Tinny Tim was unable to speak for a second. Her smile made him feel like every circuit inside him was running at full capacity. When he was finally able to calm down, he spoke. "I, um, I brought these for you!" He looked down at his footcups and brought the flowers out from behind his back and slid them through the links on the gate.
When Tinny Tim looked up, he was delighted to see that Sally had a grin on her face as she accepted the roses. She hugged them happily against her chest. "I love them, Timmy!" She laughed. "Come here!"
Although Tinny Tim was confused, he pressed his face to the fence once again. Sally leaned close to him and planted a kiss on his mouth.
Again, his circuits were put on overload. He felt like his entire body was overflowing with electricity as her warm lips touched his mouth.
Sally backed away, winking at Tinny Tim. "Thanks again, Tim!"
"N-No problem, Miss Sally." Tinny Tim felt like he was glowing as he turned to walk away from the orphanarium.
It's not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree.
"Bye Bye Beautiful" by Nightwish
Taurus, The Bull
June 20th, 3012
All Linda could do was scream.
Her voice echoed off the walls of the alleyway she was trapped in. A large, burly man stood behind her, with his arms tightly wrapped around Linda's torso. "Come on, cutie. I'll take you somewhere that nobody will be able to hear you scream." His voice was gruff and hushed.
She whimpered. She had been doing an undercover story in a relatively bad neighborhood and hadn't considered the danger she was putting herself into.
Linda shut her eyes, and tears slipped down her cheeks as she realized she wasn't strong enough to fight off this creep.
"Get your hands off of her."
Looking up, Linda blinked to clear the tears from her eyes. She felt elated when she saw a familiar green monster standing a few feet away.
The creep that was holding her snorted. "Says who?"
Morbo, Linda's co-anchor on the news, grinned in return. The sight was almost sickening. "Morbo the annihilator." The green monster growled with rage.
Realizing that he probably wouldn't live after a fight with Morbo, the creep let go of Linda and scurried off in the other direction.
All Linda could do was continue to cry and stand there, shaking pathetically. Morbo wiped the grotesque grin from his face and rushed to her side, wrapping her in his warm green arms.
"H-how did you know I w-was here?" Linda asked, still quivering.
Morbo blinked. "You were doing an undercover story, I wasn't going to let you go alone." This time his smile was only slight, and was much warmer than his previous expression.
Snuggling into his embrace, Linda thanked him and let her eyes flutter closed. Morbo scooped her up into his arms so he could carry her out of the alley.
I will stand right by your side
I have made it through the fight
Now I'm coming home,
Now I'm coming home.
"The Aftermath" by Escape the Fate
Gemini, The Twins
July 11th, 3012
Cubert tapped his fingers unhappily against the desk he was sitting at during detention at the Wozniak Nerd Academy. He was all by himself, while his teacher sat at the front of the classroom browsing through a magazine.
Bored stiff, Cubert rolled his eyes. Three more hours of this? He whined inwardly. He was stuck in detention for having too many tardies, though this was usually because his father's stupid delivery crew never dropped him off at school on time.
The door to the classroom opened, and Cubert turned to look as it creaked. He was delighted to see his best friend, Dwight, step through the door. The teacher looked up from his magazine. "Mr. Conrad, what are you doing here?"
Dwight smirked. "This is detention, right?"
The teacher chose to ignore Dwight's entrance and returned to his magazine.
Taking the seat right behind Cubert, Dwight dropped his backpack on the ground next to his desk.
Cubert stared at the front of the classroom for about five minutes before Dwight leaned forward and whispered something in his ear.
"I have something for you, Cube."
Turning to face Dwight, Cubert blinked slowly and stared into Dwight's dark brown eyes. He felt goosebumps form all over his body. "Wh-what?" He stuttered.
Dwight's hand came up to gently grab the back of Cubert's neck so he could pull the Cubert's face toward his own. All Cubert could do was stare with his eyes wide open.
The dark-skinned boy kissed Cubert right on the mouth, holding his lips gently against Cubert's. Dwight pulled away slightly, then softly rested his nose on Cubert's chin.
Pulling away and letting go of Cubert's neck, Dwight turned to bend over and rummage through his backpack. Cubert turned back to the front of the classroom, but he could feel his face burning.
Cubert heard Dwight stand from the seat behind him. When Dwight was standing next to Cubert's seat, he leaned down and whispered in Cubert's ear. "That's all I wanted to do." Dwight nuzzled Cubert's ear gently before standing back up and walking toward the door to exit the room.
As Dwight was walking, the teacher looked at him and raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Clearly he hadn't seen what had happened between the two boys.
Dwight strode out of the room, and Cubert was left with his mind reeling and a hot blush lingering on his cheeks.
Wanted to take a look and see through a hole without a key,
See where I've been missing.
"A Cinderella Story" by Mudvayne