Okay, this fanfic means a lot to me so please R&R!
This is not a song fic, but it would be better if you listened to "Lonely" by Akon on youtube while you read this.
Song I was listening to when I wrote this: Lonely by: Akon (that explains a lot :'(
I sat by the river, waiting. This is where I used to meet you used to meet you. Before…
I can't stop myself from coming there every morning, expecting to see you coming over the hill at any moment. But you didn't come. You never did. How could you? Edward Elric sat curled up in a little ball, silent tears flowing down his face. How long had it been? It seemed like just yesterday, and at the same time it felt like forever. How could you do this? Just leave me here, all alone.
The ceremony was nice. Every one cried, but not me. It was all so sudden, I was so sure you would just get up and say "just kidding." That would be so like you. But you never did. And when they began to lower your casket into the dirt, like unwanted trash, I had to resist every urge to jump on your coffin and stop them. And I did. I often wake up and find myself leaning against your headstone. You're still a pretty good listener.
Everyone keeps telling me its okay. But it's not okay. How can they say that? It will never be okay. Why did you go…why did it have to be this way? Out of all the things that you've been through…something so simple ended it all. Life is so fragile…we should have been more careful. If that truck…if you didn't push me out of the way…if you didn't care about me so damn much, you would still be here!
I hated you for a while. I hated you because I felt abandoned. I hated you because I'm so damn lonely. I hated you…I hated you because I loved you. But now, I love you just as much as ever. I miss you so much, you could never imagine. People were against what we had, but it didn't matter because we had each other. But what now?
Everywhere I go, I can hear them whispering. I often think that I'm going crazy. Maybe I am. And so, I find myself here again. I could just hear you know. "You know, you can' keep coming here every time you have a problem." Sarcastic bastard, even though I was an adult you still treated me like a child and kept up the short jokes, even though I was eye level with your nose. But now, I would give anything to hear a joke, to hear your voice…to feel your touch again.
Do you remember the first time? Sure it was awkward, and painful at that, but that is one of the memories I cherish most. You know that, don't you? We knew each other so well, we could practically finish each others sentences. In fact, I remember one time when I did that all day, but I would purposefully get them wrong.
"Ed, I have to go to-"
"the zoo!"
"No, Ed, to work. I'll be back-"
"next month!"
"No Ed! Later! I will be back later! It's so annoying when you finish my-"
"sandwiches!"
"GYAAHH! NO!"
I can't help but laugh at that memory. It's just one of the many things I will remember forever. But now, it's getting dark and it's getting cold and it's getting lonelier every second and I just wish you would come back and everything would be the same again and I wouldn't have to spend every night without you. I never thought of ever being with anyone but you. The truth is…I'm not really attracted to guys. There was only you. I can never picture myself with another man, and I never really did picture myself with a woman, so that leaves…no one. So there's no one for me? There was, but you are gone now.
I was never a religious person, but now that you're gone it makes me cry to think that you are just 'gone' and that's it. You're body is in the ground, and your soul…? Where did it go? Is it still…here? Or did it go someplace else? Is there someplace else to go? Now I can't just think that when you die, that that's the end. Because if that's true…I will never be with you again. So this Sunday, I am going to a place I haven't been in before. I am going to church, so salvage what is left of my soul. Because I need something to believe in, because when you left it shattered my belief system.
Brigadier General Roy Mustang, it has been 5 years since you passed. I had been 18, and I thought I had gone through hell. But I didn't know the half of it.
I know! Angsty, huh? I was listening to that song and it just came to me. I kinda cried while I was writing, I was like "why, cruel world! Why did you take him away!" But hey, I did write it. Please R&R and visit my message board to cherish the moments while they're still here! Edxroysanctuary.proboards82. com