Disclamer: I don't own the characters of how to train your dragon or Skullette she belongs to my friend Kelseyalicia, I only own FireFang. This takes place in Dragon city which belongs to Kelseyalicia also the song lullaby belongs to Nickelback
A.N. this story is based off of a couple of days before writing this story. I just need to get this off my chest and out of my head, or who knows what will happen.
I know the feeling
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain't no healing
From cuttin' yourself with the jagged edge
I'm tellin' you that it's never that bad
And take it from someone who's been where your at
You're laid out on the floor and you're not sure
You can take this anymore
FireFang stormed out of the Dragon City mall and into the humid night air, work had been hell. She was so mentally and emotionally drained and defeated she was unsure if she could make it home safely. She was angry, panicked, anxious, and depressed all at once, they swirled around her mind as she felt her mental stability start to slip away. FireFang had been worried this sort of thing might happen which only added to her panic. She had started a new medication which was supposed to help her emotional stability but had a major side effect of making her depression worse. She had talked with her aunt earlier that night not long after she finished her break at work, but her aunt determined she hadn't been taking the meds long enough for any side effect to show.
So just give it one more try
With a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reachin' out to let you know
That you're not alone
FireFang sat in her car, her anger and anxiety had ebbed into depression and panic. She decided to text her uncle that she wasn't feeling safe. Just as she did this her phone started to ring, it was her uncle. They talked for a while and FireFang started to calm down, her panic state started to lessen, and she began to calm down, but her depression remained. Her uncle told her to try and get home safely but if she felt she couldn't make it home to give him a call and he would go and pick her up. FireFang said she'd try and hung up. She made it maybe a mile before her panic started again, she pulled over into a parking lot and tried to do some of the deep breathing exercises her friend Hiccup said always helped him when he was having a panic attack. She turned on her Self-harm prevention playlist, it was a playlist she had put together of mostly christen songs and a few others that were uplifting and seemed to be (at least to her) written to prevent self-harm or suicide.
And you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Well honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
Please let me take you
Out of the darkness and into the light
'Cause I have faith in you
That you're gonna make it through another night
Stop thinkin' about the easy way out
There's no need to go and blow the candle out
Because you're not done, you're far too young
And the best is yet to come
When she was unable to calm herself down with either music or breathing she decided it was time to call her uncle to come get her. Her uncle wasn't surprised when FireFang called, he said he'd wake her cousin/big sister Skullette to take him over to her. She gave him the address she was at, which just so happened to be a dance studio. After hanging up, FireFang continued listening to her self-harm prevention playlist and watched the cars drive by. As she was doing this a sour thought crept into her mind. She could very easily, get out of the car and walk out into the road and have someone hit her and hope it'd kill her. This thought scared FireFang and she immediately pulled her phone out and texted her friend Hiccup. She had texted him earlier but he didn't answer, so she prayed this time she got an answer. (A.N. this is strait copy and paste from my phone the texts I sent to my friend)
F: Hiccup I need you, I wanted to hurt myself again and attempted it with my box cutter on my lanyard but no success as it's a safety box cutter so it's designed to minimize injury.
F: I could walk out into the road, maybe someone will hit me
H: Fire listen to me ok, there are bound to be times where I don't answer for one reason or another I expect you to look back on the thigs I tell you and have taught you to get through things when your alone and thinking like that, look what you did to me when I was like that.
F: I'm probably gonna have my uncle take me to the hospital
H: I think that's the best honestly
F: me to
H: I hope you get the help you need Fire I'm sorry I couldn't have been better help.
So just give it one more try
With a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reachin' out to let you know
That you're not alone
And you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Well honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
FireFang continued to watch the cars go by as the minutes slowly ticked by, song after song played but wasn't doing anything for her mood, she only continued to sink lower into depression. She thought back on how she had treated her friends at work earlier that day.
Flashback:
6:30p.m FireFang clocked back into work and headed to her locker to dispose of her bag. Shutting it and reattaching the lock she walked past the small office space where managers and human resources had there computers, it was an open space so employees could stop by and chat or sign up for extra shifts. She stopped to chat a bit with Fraigha the human resources manager. FireFang had been concerned about one of her coworkers a girl named Asta who was never where she was supposed to be always running off to the kids department to chat with her friend. FireFang had been unaware that Asta had signed up to fill empty shifts in kids due to most of the workers going back to school, she was fine with this, but upon learning that she was supposed to be in pajamas (which was her assigned department) that night, and she failed to show up for most of the night, firefang became annoyed as this always happened, whether it was Asta running off to the kids department to chat to her friends or going to the bathroom with them to chat for hours on end, she was never where she was supposed to be.
Well everybody's hit the bottom
And everybody's been forgotten
Well everybody's tired of being alone
Yeah everybody's been abandoned
And left a little empty handed
So if you're out there barely hangin', on
On top of that the only other person who was assigned to pajamas usually didn't come in till 6:00 p.m. FireFang enjoyed talking to the girl, named Ase but this particular day FireFang had not been in the mood to talk as Asta had already pissed her off. However Ase was not getting that she was not in the mood to talk, as Ase had said no that she was not going to leave FireFang alone, even when she begged the girl almost in tears to leave her alone. FireFang had finally had enough and brought it to a supervisors attention. While this had the desired effect as Ase did eventually leave her alone for the rest of the night, she learned that her worrying about where Asta was during the night apparently got her in trouble with a manager and people started calling her a snitch, which only made her more angry.
Just give it one more try
With a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reachin' out to let you know
That you're not alone
She stared out the window and saw headlights pull up beside her, her cousin Skullette was driving and she got out of the car and gave her uncle a big hug. She wanted to cry so badly but the tears wouldn't come. "Uncle can you take me to the hospital?" "lets get you home first and we'll see how your feeling, ok? You can cuddle with Airclaw and if you need to I'm sure Skullette will be happy to sleep on the upstairs couch with you if you need a sleeping buddy." Her uncle replied. " FireFang proceeded to spill everything to her uncle, everything that had happened at work, and how she had acted and that she had thought of getting herself hit by a car.
And you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Well honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
Well honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
After Firefang and her uncle talked a bit more, they decided to go home. FireFang hadn't eaten anything since she left work, so they stopped at a drive threw and got some food and ice cream. Upon arriving home Firefang proceeded to fall into bed, her dog Airclaw came up on her bed and cuddled beside her. She needed to get out of her work clothes and take her pills. She changed into her pajamas and took her pills, whereupon she proceeded to watch videos on YouTube till 11:00. Turning off her computer she put it away and turning her phone on silent plugged it in to charge, and making sure her watch was charging shut off her light and went to bed, hoping that tomorrow was a better day. It turned out she was able to get the day off on Sunday because she unintentionally sounded sick over the phone when she called into work. She didn't bother to correct them or clear her throat, she just agreed and hung up. She spent that Sunday helping her family in the yard.