The Storm Outside: Children of Rain
By Dark Blaze
Pairings: shonen-ai, implied pairings Warning: spoiler for episode zero and possible spoiler for the series (Revised 06/24/02) (One "major", noticeable change in consideration to Dyna Dee's comment)
I never told anyone what it is about rain that fascinates me. If you can call it that, fascination. Because it's not fascination, not exactly. More like being drawn. But none of the others know that. All they know is that every night when it rains, I wake up, open the window wide, and lie back down to watch the dark, wet world outside as the damp, cool air fills the room with the sound of shower on earth. And when it's a rainstorm, I'll sit by the window, draped in a blanket, to watch, until morning comes. Or at least until the storm passes.
Heero, my roommate, once caught me staring outside when it rained. It was during the war. He didn't tell me until about three years later. He also mentioned - more like mumbled - something about eyes glowing in the dark like lurking death. Sometimes he's amusing like that.
Trowa caught me sitting by the window once during a night storm, when we were assigned together and stayed in a safehouse which one and only bedroom happened to have no window, and I had to settle with sitting in the living room.
Wufei did once too, when I partnered with him on a Preventer mission and had to room with him. And for once, just for that one time, he didn't ask and didn't comment, didn't even grumble about "injustice" or "baka's" or "letting the cold air in" or "water-damage" or even "not enough rest before the mission can get your ass fried". I think, in his own way, he understood.
They all think - or thought - it's the rain itself that fascinates me. The notion of so much water being poured so liberally over earth.
You see, I came from a colony. L2. Also known as the dump in space, no disrespect meant. I love that place, I really do. It's my first home. And despite what most people think, it was where most of my happiest memories took place. But I'll still be the first to admit that L2 is the filthiest, poorest colony that ever exists.
Let me explain this a bit. Water, is the first essential thing that makes a place feel clean and live-able. Air is the second essential thing.
There isn't much water in the colonies to begin with. Never was, never will. We don't have springs or rivers or lakes, despite what most people think. Earthlings have no idea how lucky they are, honestly. On Earth, people have fresh, natural air to go with the fresh, neverending supply of water. I know you're thinking "fresh?" and are giving me that doubtful look. Trust me. I know about the pollution and all that crap, but that's nothing compared to what the colonists have to deal with. People on Earth are so used to this luxury that they take it for granted. It's hard for them to imagine what it's like in the colonies.
Well, in the colonies, the air is artificial and has been recycled at least five times. It smells faintly plastic and metal, and, on the occassion of the circulator system breaking down, smoke. Tastes like that, too. The water is very limited and has been recycled at least ten times the air. It's thicker than Earth's water, slightly turbid, and faintly acidic.
I see your grimace. Don't worry. It's still safe for drinking. Besides, you get used to it.
But see, that's how it is in the colonies. Now imagine it to be ten times worse than that. The air heavier and more suffocating, with filth hanging so thick you can taste it in your mouth. The water so rare that you'll be glad for even a little drizzle because that means you'll have your first bath in at least two months, even though after you collect the water, you'll still have to wait until at least fifteen other younger kids have taken their turn before you can use that same bucket of water to clean yourself. That's what L2 is like.
Yeah. Now you know what I'm talking about.
L2 is a dump. I'll be the first to admit that. No one in their right mind will want to live there, and no one should. At least it's better now that the war is over, and 'Lena-'Jousan constantly manages to coax the fat- pursed fat-bellied pompous aristo-rats to spare a trickle of their wealth for L2 kids.
Yeah, I really despise authorities that much, especially the politi-asses who will argue for hours over petty things but are reluctant to spend even a minute when it comes to orphans, widows, and the like.
What can I say? We just aren't couple-material. Thankfully, we have 'Lena- 'Jousan who's more than willing to speak and fight for those kids tooth and nail, sometimes almost literally.
As much as I seem to complain constantly about my homeland though, I'm still grateful that I was raised there. I have lots of reasons, but the most obvious one is.. Well.. No disrespect meant, but if I'd been raised elsewhere, say L4, I don't think I'd have survived the war; I know I definitely wouldn't have been anywhere half the pilot I was. Now don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with Q's homeland, and Quatre himself was one hell of a pilot; he was almost as good in that as he was - and still is - as a strategist. L4 is more than an okay home. It's just that street- life, and Solo and Father and Sister, made me the kick-ass Death Harbringer I was, the best among the best pilots, and the person I am today.
You're probably thinking now that I had it easy there. You can't be more wrong. I won't compare my life to Heero's, who had been trained to be a fucking machine - no pun intended - when he was still supposed to be playing football or basketball with other kids, or at least playing with the swings in the park. Or Trowa's, who never even remembered his real name and already had to fight in a war he didn't really understand for as long as he could remember. Still, I'm not raised a spoiled brat (I'm not pointing fingers here). I had my share of a harsh life, too.
I still remember the times when I was still on the street and we would go to sleep hungry at night and wake up to see one more of us had died during the night from malnutrition and the lack of sanitary. Or the times when we were lucky enough to have a drizzle because the Control felt like seeing a little rain, and we would play outside, knowing it would be colder than usual that night but feeling happy anyway because for the first time in months we could wash away a bit of the grime and slime, and for at least one week afterward we would be able to get past the shopkeepers a bit easier because we would be cleaner and wouldn't smell so badly.
And there were times when me and Sister Helen and Lam and Kim and the other older kids would go outside to collect the raindrops so we could bathe that night and have fresh supply of water to drink and cook. Oh, the Colony did sell bottled water for the last two purposes even back then, but the Church didn't have enough fund for it. Sometimes we didn't even have enough to feed all the children twice a day. On those days, Father and Sister wouldn't sit at the table to eat with us and would simply assist the younger children with what little portion they had so that not even a little bit of the precious food would be wasted. On those days, when we happened to have bread or biscuit, some of us wouldn't eat ours at the table right away. At night we would slip out of our rooms one by one in a silent agreement to deposit our little "treasures" in Father's and Sister's rooms. In the morning-afters of those nights, Father and Sister always greeted us with their eyes shining a bit too bright, the "you shouldn't" hanging from the tip of their tongues but still left unsaid because they knew it didn't matter and we would keep doing it anyway, and they gave us extra hugs.
We didn't do it for the extra hugs. We did, because they had done it first for us.
Sorry. I degressed.
But yeah.. With sanitary condition like that, I'm sure you can understand if I tend to enjoy my showers and baths a bit too much. The others often protest when I hog the bathroom for almost an hour, but inside, I know they understand.
I remember the first time I had the chance to take a real, decent shower on Earth using clear, fresh water. It was in Peacemillion - the sea-ship, not the battle-ship - soon after I'd arrived on Earth on the rigged Operation Meteor. I stayed exactly fifty five minutes in the shower - forty five minutes under the spray after I was done with the real cleaning - and thirty two more minutes afterward just to enjoy the pleasant feeling of freshness and clean-ness (is that even a word?) of after-shower. I got out only after Howard threatened to install the dancing hippo-in-pink-tutu virus in Deathscythe if I didn't come out immediately. Of course, I know, knew, that he wouldn't. He loved the big guy almost as much as I did. Besides, he knew even back then that I was one hell of a hacker, programmer, and mechanic; I could and would make his life a living hell - not literally - for months - or at least days - if he'd carried out his threat and messed with my gundanium partner.
So I tend to exaggerate. Sue me.
By the way. In case you're wondering, I did make Heero's life at school a living hell for two days after he took Deathscythe apart - you don't want to know how, trust me - and I did send Trowa the dancing hippo in a pretty package with a shiny red bow after I found out that he had been the one who'd blown my partner to pieces. It took him four full days before he gave up trying to neutralize the virus alone, asked for reinforcement from Heero and Wufei (that took another three days), then finally just begged Quatre to persuade me to rid him of the non-stop dancing hippo. He did, of course, and in case you're wondering, yeah. I did. Took me less than a day.
What can I say? I'm a sucker for puppy-dog eyes. Besides, Quatre does have a way with words to make you see things his way. I guess that's why he's the strategist and I'm not. And no, trust me. You really. Really. Don't want to know.
Back to the original topic though.
Rain reminds me of L2, the kids, Father, and Sister. But that's not why I'm drawn to it. Not many people know this, but AC 195 wasn't the first time I ever set foot on Earth. My first was about a year before that, when I was still with the Sweepers.
What? You didn't really expect us to spend those two years from 193 to 195 just drifting about in space without porting anywhere just so G could train me, did you? Hell, we were the Sweepers. It would have been very conspicuous if we just abandoned business. Besides, it brought an extra income, so it had a double benefit.
Anyway.
It was summer. We got goods to deliver to Earth. We landed in South Carolina, drove to North Carolina, and stayed in a friend's place. It was only for 48 hours, but we didn't feel like refusing the offer of free food and lodging, fresh water and air, plus a bit of sight-seeing. Besides, his place was at the countryside and a bit isolated. It was safe, and it wasn't like we would draw too much attention. So we went.
That night I got to see a real rainstorm for the first time. It was. Absolutely. Amazing. It was everything I said before. Rain pouring so hard, it drenched the entire world, droplets pounding the soil as if to punish it, forcing it to relent and form small, muddy puddles, lighting flashing, showing glimpses of Nature in an eerie glow, thunder grumbling and rolling in deafening booms, wind blowing and howling in high pitches like tormented ghosts...
But all I could see was the rain. Wet. Water. Lots of water. Lots of fresh, clean water.
I left the house for a walk. It wasn't the smartest thing I'd done, but I did.
It didn't take long before I was drenched, and I started to shiver from the cold wind's assault. The strange thing was, I didn't even give a damn. In fact, I almost yelled all out in delight, as nerdy as it sounds. L2's drizzles always felt a bit sticky and warm. This Earth rain... It was harsh and relentless and freezing and fresh and smelled like freedom and... It was.. just...
Even now I'm still at a loss of words.
I let my feet carry me away, deeper into the storm, and out into the hills. In the distance, I could see the lighting flash closer and closer, followed seconds later by the deafening growl of the thunder (which, now that I think about it, sounded a lot like Wu's growls but a lot louder). They were incredible. Powerful. Nature at full blown rage. Frightening and mighty and majestic and liberating at the same time.
We don't have lighting or thunder in the colonies.
I had never walked in full-force storm like that before. It was much more tiring than I'd thought. I finally decided to rest under a tree.
For the first time I realized that it was getting late, and the others probably were starting to wonder where I was. As much as I didn't feel like going back, I knew I had to, or they would start looking for me. As it is, I would probably have to face G's scowl. Much as I was grateful for everything he'd done for me, and much as I respected him, that guy had a nasty way of using sarcasm to make you feel like a total idiot. So I decided to turn back then, and I did.
I hadn't even taken ten steps when the lighting struck.
One second, everything was fine, and I was still on my feet.
The next second, I was on my butt on the ground, shaking and staring at the had-been tree.
My mind was blank for eons, and I couldn't move.
When I finally remembered to breathe, and my sanity returned...
I remember it vividly everytime I look back. How I had this calmness about me that only a real shock could induce as I slowly stood and stared. I wasn't shaking anymore, even though my eyes stayed wide open, and I didn't remember to blink. My braid had become undone, and the wind tugged at my hair, swirled it, pulled it, and spun it around me, the wet strands whipping against my back, arms, and legs. My wet clothes were plastered to me like skin-tight leather. And I simply stood and stared at the black, burnt stump of the had-been tree, knowing I had been standing underneath it only seconds ago.
Above me the thunder rolled again.
I don't know how long I stayed there, standing and staring, but in the end I simply turned around and left without saying a word, without shaking, and without breaking down. I don't think the gravity of the situation had really registered in my mind then. Or maybe it had.
The guys and G saw me return dripping wet, but none of them said anything. Not right then, and not ever afterward. Later on they would tell me that I'd been gone for only about fifteen minutes or so. It felt like eons.
Since that night, I have had this strange connection with rains in general and rainstorms in particular. I somehow know when they'll come and how long they'll stay for a visit. It was pretty handy back during the war; I often used it for tactical advantage against my enemies. After a while, even the others - when they stayed with me - relied on my sixth sense to decide what kind of explosives they'd use and how they'd slip into the enemy base, destroy the said base, complete the mission, and all that shit.
So yeah. As unrealistic as it may sound to you, I didn't get traumatized. I certainly didn't develop a phobia, or G would've replaced me right away. And no, that's not the reason why I'm not scared of rain or rainstorm. This fascination is real, if you want to call it that. The others do. I don't.
I don't know what to call it, and I don't know how to describe it. I'm just drawn to rain. It's hypnotizing, and much more. It's like.. I have this psychic link with the rain, and I just.. know.
It's weird, I know. I don't blame you if you don't understand. None of the others really do, I think. Maybe except Trowa. He's a bit like me, only with him, it's the snow.
So now you know why every night when it rains I just have to go and open the window then lie back down and let the rain hypnotize me. Or when it's a rainstorm, like tonight, I go to curl up quietly on my favorite seat by the window, draped in a bedsheet, and stare at the relentless shower outside, the lighting striking occassionally and without warning, giving me glimpses of the wet world.
"Duo...?"
"Hm?" The bedsheets whisper softly behind me as my roommate slowly sits up on the double-bed and blinks sleepily at me. I know, even though I'm not looking at him.
"It's almost three. What are you.." There's a pause. He's more awake now, and he knows. "Rainstorm?"
"Hai."
"..Will it rain tomorrow?"
I smile at the storm outside. "Don't worry. It will stop by morning, just in time for the wedding."
"..Ah."
The pause hangs thick in the cold, damp air. I can feel his eyes on me, intense yet soft, watching me. I know he wants to, but he won't ask me to come back to bed. He knows enough by now to realize that I can't, won't. I know it's not sleep that he has in mind, though. He just wants to be with me tonight because of what will happen tomorrow. Especially because of that.
He's sweet like that.
I turn slightly to look at him with the genuinely happy half-smile only he ever sees and offer him my hand. Surprise shines in the depth of his beautiful blue eyes along with a little disbelief. It's replaced almost immediately with joy.
He gets up, the blanket around him and dragging on the floor with a soft rustle, and comes to me to take my hand. I scoot over a bit to give him room. We end up curling against each other, him practically sitting in my lap, his cheek resting on my shoulder, his arms around me just like mine are around him. His eyes, like mine, are transfixed at the storm outside.
"Utsukushii, ne..." he whispers after a while, his voice almost inaudible, warm breath caressing my cheek. [1]
Outside, the lighting flashes.
"Hai," I whisper back. "Sou desu yo." [2]
Both of us fall silent then, entranced.
He doesn't ask me again about the storm or the rain. He doesn't ask if I'm sure it'll stop before our wedding. Somehow I know that he knows now at heart that the Rain will stop by dawn so Her children's union can take place outside in St. Helen Chapel's garden among the summer blooms, just like we planned. Neither of us are worried.
The thunder's rage ceases softly, and the rain continues to fall for the rest of the night.
~OWARI~
[1] "Utsukushii, ne". It's beautiful, isn't it. The emphatic "Ne" is to ask for confirmation. [2] "Hai. Sou desu, yo". Yes, it is. The emphatic "yo" is to emphasize an agreement.
Pairings: shonen-ai, implied pairings Warning: spoiler for episode zero and possible spoiler for the series (Revised 06/24/02) (One "major", noticeable change in consideration to Dyna Dee's comment)
I never told anyone what it is about rain that fascinates me. If you can call it that, fascination. Because it's not fascination, not exactly. More like being drawn. But none of the others know that. All they know is that every night when it rains, I wake up, open the window wide, and lie back down to watch the dark, wet world outside as the damp, cool air fills the room with the sound of shower on earth. And when it's a rainstorm, I'll sit by the window, draped in a blanket, to watch, until morning comes. Or at least until the storm passes.
Heero, my roommate, once caught me staring outside when it rained. It was during the war. He didn't tell me until about three years later. He also mentioned - more like mumbled - something about eyes glowing in the dark like lurking death. Sometimes he's amusing like that.
Trowa caught me sitting by the window once during a night storm, when we were assigned together and stayed in a safehouse which one and only bedroom happened to have no window, and I had to settle with sitting in the living room.
Wufei did once too, when I partnered with him on a Preventer mission and had to room with him. And for once, just for that one time, he didn't ask and didn't comment, didn't even grumble about "injustice" or "baka's" or "letting the cold air in" or "water-damage" or even "not enough rest before the mission can get your ass fried". I think, in his own way, he understood.
They all think - or thought - it's the rain itself that fascinates me. The notion of so much water being poured so liberally over earth.
You see, I came from a colony. L2. Also known as the dump in space, no disrespect meant. I love that place, I really do. It's my first home. And despite what most people think, it was where most of my happiest memories took place. But I'll still be the first to admit that L2 is the filthiest, poorest colony that ever exists.
Let me explain this a bit. Water, is the first essential thing that makes a place feel clean and live-able. Air is the second essential thing.
There isn't much water in the colonies to begin with. Never was, never will. We don't have springs or rivers or lakes, despite what most people think. Earthlings have no idea how lucky they are, honestly. On Earth, people have fresh, natural air to go with the fresh, neverending supply of water. I know you're thinking "fresh?" and are giving me that doubtful look. Trust me. I know about the pollution and all that crap, but that's nothing compared to what the colonists have to deal with. People on Earth are so used to this luxury that they take it for granted. It's hard for them to imagine what it's like in the colonies.
Well, in the colonies, the air is artificial and has been recycled at least five times. It smells faintly plastic and metal, and, on the occassion of the circulator system breaking down, smoke. Tastes like that, too. The water is very limited and has been recycled at least ten times the air. It's thicker than Earth's water, slightly turbid, and faintly acidic.
I see your grimace. Don't worry. It's still safe for drinking. Besides, you get used to it.
But see, that's how it is in the colonies. Now imagine it to be ten times worse than that. The air heavier and more suffocating, with filth hanging so thick you can taste it in your mouth. The water so rare that you'll be glad for even a little drizzle because that means you'll have your first bath in at least two months, even though after you collect the water, you'll still have to wait until at least fifteen other younger kids have taken their turn before you can use that same bucket of water to clean yourself. That's what L2 is like.
Yeah. Now you know what I'm talking about.
L2 is a dump. I'll be the first to admit that. No one in their right mind will want to live there, and no one should. At least it's better now that the war is over, and 'Lena-'Jousan constantly manages to coax the fat- pursed fat-bellied pompous aristo-rats to spare a trickle of their wealth for L2 kids.
Yeah, I really despise authorities that much, especially the politi-asses who will argue for hours over petty things but are reluctant to spend even a minute when it comes to orphans, widows, and the like.
What can I say? We just aren't couple-material. Thankfully, we have 'Lena- 'Jousan who's more than willing to speak and fight for those kids tooth and nail, sometimes almost literally.
As much as I seem to complain constantly about my homeland though, I'm still grateful that I was raised there. I have lots of reasons, but the most obvious one is.. Well.. No disrespect meant, but if I'd been raised elsewhere, say L4, I don't think I'd have survived the war; I know I definitely wouldn't have been anywhere half the pilot I was. Now don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with Q's homeland, and Quatre himself was one hell of a pilot; he was almost as good in that as he was - and still is - as a strategist. L4 is more than an okay home. It's just that street- life, and Solo and Father and Sister, made me the kick-ass Death Harbringer I was, the best among the best pilots, and the person I am today.
You're probably thinking now that I had it easy there. You can't be more wrong. I won't compare my life to Heero's, who had been trained to be a fucking machine - no pun intended - when he was still supposed to be playing football or basketball with other kids, or at least playing with the swings in the park. Or Trowa's, who never even remembered his real name and already had to fight in a war he didn't really understand for as long as he could remember. Still, I'm not raised a spoiled brat (I'm not pointing fingers here). I had my share of a harsh life, too.
I still remember the times when I was still on the street and we would go to sleep hungry at night and wake up to see one more of us had died during the night from malnutrition and the lack of sanitary. Or the times when we were lucky enough to have a drizzle because the Control felt like seeing a little rain, and we would play outside, knowing it would be colder than usual that night but feeling happy anyway because for the first time in months we could wash away a bit of the grime and slime, and for at least one week afterward we would be able to get past the shopkeepers a bit easier because we would be cleaner and wouldn't smell so badly.
And there were times when me and Sister Helen and Lam and Kim and the other older kids would go outside to collect the raindrops so we could bathe that night and have fresh supply of water to drink and cook. Oh, the Colony did sell bottled water for the last two purposes even back then, but the Church didn't have enough fund for it. Sometimes we didn't even have enough to feed all the children twice a day. On those days, Father and Sister wouldn't sit at the table to eat with us and would simply assist the younger children with what little portion they had so that not even a little bit of the precious food would be wasted. On those days, when we happened to have bread or biscuit, some of us wouldn't eat ours at the table right away. At night we would slip out of our rooms one by one in a silent agreement to deposit our little "treasures" in Father's and Sister's rooms. In the morning-afters of those nights, Father and Sister always greeted us with their eyes shining a bit too bright, the "you shouldn't" hanging from the tip of their tongues but still left unsaid because they knew it didn't matter and we would keep doing it anyway, and they gave us extra hugs.
We didn't do it for the extra hugs. We did, because they had done it first for us.
Sorry. I degressed.
But yeah.. With sanitary condition like that, I'm sure you can understand if I tend to enjoy my showers and baths a bit too much. The others often protest when I hog the bathroom for almost an hour, but inside, I know they understand.
I remember the first time I had the chance to take a real, decent shower on Earth using clear, fresh water. It was in Peacemillion - the sea-ship, not the battle-ship - soon after I'd arrived on Earth on the rigged Operation Meteor. I stayed exactly fifty five minutes in the shower - forty five minutes under the spray after I was done with the real cleaning - and thirty two more minutes afterward just to enjoy the pleasant feeling of freshness and clean-ness (is that even a word?) of after-shower. I got out only after Howard threatened to install the dancing hippo-in-pink-tutu virus in Deathscythe if I didn't come out immediately. Of course, I know, knew, that he wouldn't. He loved the big guy almost as much as I did. Besides, he knew even back then that I was one hell of a hacker, programmer, and mechanic; I could and would make his life a living hell - not literally - for months - or at least days - if he'd carried out his threat and messed with my gundanium partner.
So I tend to exaggerate. Sue me.
By the way. In case you're wondering, I did make Heero's life at school a living hell for two days after he took Deathscythe apart - you don't want to know how, trust me - and I did send Trowa the dancing hippo in a pretty package with a shiny red bow after I found out that he had been the one who'd blown my partner to pieces. It took him four full days before he gave up trying to neutralize the virus alone, asked for reinforcement from Heero and Wufei (that took another three days), then finally just begged Quatre to persuade me to rid him of the non-stop dancing hippo. He did, of course, and in case you're wondering, yeah. I did. Took me less than a day.
What can I say? I'm a sucker for puppy-dog eyes. Besides, Quatre does have a way with words to make you see things his way. I guess that's why he's the strategist and I'm not. And no, trust me. You really. Really. Don't want to know.
Back to the original topic though.
Rain reminds me of L2, the kids, Father, and Sister. But that's not why I'm drawn to it. Not many people know this, but AC 195 wasn't the first time I ever set foot on Earth. My first was about a year before that, when I was still with the Sweepers.
What? You didn't really expect us to spend those two years from 193 to 195 just drifting about in space without porting anywhere just so G could train me, did you? Hell, we were the Sweepers. It would have been very conspicuous if we just abandoned business. Besides, it brought an extra income, so it had a double benefit.
Anyway.
It was summer. We got goods to deliver to Earth. We landed in South Carolina, drove to North Carolina, and stayed in a friend's place. It was only for 48 hours, but we didn't feel like refusing the offer of free food and lodging, fresh water and air, plus a bit of sight-seeing. Besides, his place was at the countryside and a bit isolated. It was safe, and it wasn't like we would draw too much attention. So we went.
That night I got to see a real rainstorm for the first time. It was. Absolutely. Amazing. It was everything I said before. Rain pouring so hard, it drenched the entire world, droplets pounding the soil as if to punish it, forcing it to relent and form small, muddy puddles, lighting flashing, showing glimpses of Nature in an eerie glow, thunder grumbling and rolling in deafening booms, wind blowing and howling in high pitches like tormented ghosts...
But all I could see was the rain. Wet. Water. Lots of water. Lots of fresh, clean water.
I left the house for a walk. It wasn't the smartest thing I'd done, but I did.
It didn't take long before I was drenched, and I started to shiver from the cold wind's assault. The strange thing was, I didn't even give a damn. In fact, I almost yelled all out in delight, as nerdy as it sounds. L2's drizzles always felt a bit sticky and warm. This Earth rain... It was harsh and relentless and freezing and fresh and smelled like freedom and... It was.. just...
Even now I'm still at a loss of words.
I let my feet carry me away, deeper into the storm, and out into the hills. In the distance, I could see the lighting flash closer and closer, followed seconds later by the deafening growl of the thunder (which, now that I think about it, sounded a lot like Wu's growls but a lot louder). They were incredible. Powerful. Nature at full blown rage. Frightening and mighty and majestic and liberating at the same time.
We don't have lighting or thunder in the colonies.
I had never walked in full-force storm like that before. It was much more tiring than I'd thought. I finally decided to rest under a tree.
For the first time I realized that it was getting late, and the others probably were starting to wonder where I was. As much as I didn't feel like going back, I knew I had to, or they would start looking for me. As it is, I would probably have to face G's scowl. Much as I was grateful for everything he'd done for me, and much as I respected him, that guy had a nasty way of using sarcasm to make you feel like a total idiot. So I decided to turn back then, and I did.
I hadn't even taken ten steps when the lighting struck.
One second, everything was fine, and I was still on my feet.
The next second, I was on my butt on the ground, shaking and staring at the had-been tree.
My mind was blank for eons, and I couldn't move.
When I finally remembered to breathe, and my sanity returned...
I remember it vividly everytime I look back. How I had this calmness about me that only a real shock could induce as I slowly stood and stared. I wasn't shaking anymore, even though my eyes stayed wide open, and I didn't remember to blink. My braid had become undone, and the wind tugged at my hair, swirled it, pulled it, and spun it around me, the wet strands whipping against my back, arms, and legs. My wet clothes were plastered to me like skin-tight leather. And I simply stood and stared at the black, burnt stump of the had-been tree, knowing I had been standing underneath it only seconds ago.
Above me the thunder rolled again.
I don't know how long I stayed there, standing and staring, but in the end I simply turned around and left without saying a word, without shaking, and without breaking down. I don't think the gravity of the situation had really registered in my mind then. Or maybe it had.
The guys and G saw me return dripping wet, but none of them said anything. Not right then, and not ever afterward. Later on they would tell me that I'd been gone for only about fifteen minutes or so. It felt like eons.
Since that night, I have had this strange connection with rains in general and rainstorms in particular. I somehow know when they'll come and how long they'll stay for a visit. It was pretty handy back during the war; I often used it for tactical advantage against my enemies. After a while, even the others - when they stayed with me - relied on my sixth sense to decide what kind of explosives they'd use and how they'd slip into the enemy base, destroy the said base, complete the mission, and all that shit.
So yeah. As unrealistic as it may sound to you, I didn't get traumatized. I certainly didn't develop a phobia, or G would've replaced me right away. And no, that's not the reason why I'm not scared of rain or rainstorm. This fascination is real, if you want to call it that. The others do. I don't.
I don't know what to call it, and I don't know how to describe it. I'm just drawn to rain. It's hypnotizing, and much more. It's like.. I have this psychic link with the rain, and I just.. know.
It's weird, I know. I don't blame you if you don't understand. None of the others really do, I think. Maybe except Trowa. He's a bit like me, only with him, it's the snow.
So now you know why every night when it rains I just have to go and open the window then lie back down and let the rain hypnotize me. Or when it's a rainstorm, like tonight, I go to curl up quietly on my favorite seat by the window, draped in a bedsheet, and stare at the relentless shower outside, the lighting striking occassionally and without warning, giving me glimpses of the wet world.
"Duo...?"
"Hm?" The bedsheets whisper softly behind me as my roommate slowly sits up on the double-bed and blinks sleepily at me. I know, even though I'm not looking at him.
"It's almost three. What are you.." There's a pause. He's more awake now, and he knows. "Rainstorm?"
"Hai."
"..Will it rain tomorrow?"
I smile at the storm outside. "Don't worry. It will stop by morning, just in time for the wedding."
"..Ah."
The pause hangs thick in the cold, damp air. I can feel his eyes on me, intense yet soft, watching me. I know he wants to, but he won't ask me to come back to bed. He knows enough by now to realize that I can't, won't. I know it's not sleep that he has in mind, though. He just wants to be with me tonight because of what will happen tomorrow. Especially because of that.
He's sweet like that.
I turn slightly to look at him with the genuinely happy half-smile only he ever sees and offer him my hand. Surprise shines in the depth of his beautiful blue eyes along with a little disbelief. It's replaced almost immediately with joy.
He gets up, the blanket around him and dragging on the floor with a soft rustle, and comes to me to take my hand. I scoot over a bit to give him room. We end up curling against each other, him practically sitting in my lap, his cheek resting on my shoulder, his arms around me just like mine are around him. His eyes, like mine, are transfixed at the storm outside.
"Utsukushii, ne..." he whispers after a while, his voice almost inaudible, warm breath caressing my cheek. [1]
Outside, the lighting flashes.
"Hai," I whisper back. "Sou desu yo." [2]
Both of us fall silent then, entranced.
He doesn't ask me again about the storm or the rain. He doesn't ask if I'm sure it'll stop before our wedding. Somehow I know that he knows now at heart that the Rain will stop by dawn so Her children's union can take place outside in St. Helen Chapel's garden among the summer blooms, just like we planned. Neither of us are worried.
The thunder's rage ceases softly, and the rain continues to fall for the rest of the night.
~OWARI~
[1] "Utsukushii, ne". It's beautiful, isn't it. The emphatic "Ne" is to ask for confirmation. [2] "Hai. Sou desu, yo". Yes, it is. The emphatic "yo" is to emphasize an agreement.