Don't Own Star Trek or the characters, no profit involved!
The Lovers, The Dreamers, and Me
Having made his decision, Spock quickly sprang into action. There was much to do and very little time to do it in.
Spock got it all done, with just a little time to spare. He made it back to his quarters, showered, changed into his Science Officer's uniform, and finished packing his gear. He arranged to have what he wasn't taking stored. He would carry two duffels, a Vulcan harp, and a guitar case. He would need nothing else.
On his way to the shuttle bay, Spock contacted Pike. No, Kirk did not have a Science Officer or a First Officer yet. Spock was taking a gamble, going to the Enterprise, submitting his candidacy for these positions. Kirk would be within his rights to throw him off the ship. Somehow, Spock knew that wouldn't happen, he belonged on the Enterprise, with that crew, and with Nyota.
Now there were just a few minutes left before the last shuttle departed to the Enterprise.
Sarek spotted his son first, tall and proud in his blue uniform shirt. So, he has chosen, just as he had chosen eight years ago. This time Sarek is neither angry or disappointed. Even he knows that this is Spock's destiny. His son has not abandoned the Vulcan way, rather he embodies it. Spock is IDIC, Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination. His son is different, as he should be. For after all, Spock is Amanda's Grayson's son.
Spock quickly made his way over to Sarek, baggage in hand. "Father, I..."
"You have made your choice, my son, and have little time to spare to accomplish it. I believe that you have chosen wisely. I will support your choices. You are are much like your mother. You have chosen love and adventure, and married them to your sense of duty. You will continue to serve our people from a far. Live long and prosper, my son.
"Live long and prosper, my father."
Spock had to actually run to make that shuttle. He was barely inside when the pilot began their departure. Minutes later he was on board the Enterprise. Spock picked up his gear and checked it with the Quarter Master. He had no quarters aboard this ship, not yet. Not an official member of the crew, he was essentially an intruder, as Kirk had once been. The irony was not lost on him. Spock steeled himself, and made his way to the bridge.
Nyota had cried almost nonstop for two days. She wept for Gaila, for her deceased classmates, for the students she had tutored, now lost. She mourned the loss of Vulcan and most of its people. She grieved over Spock's mother Amanda. Mostly, she cried over Spock. They had seemed so close on the Enterprise, in his time of need. But now, he had distanced himself from her. Would he go to the New Vulcan colony without so much as a goodbye? Would he be lost to her forever? Finally, there were no tears left. After her graduation, she spent some leave time with her family. Then Nyota reported to the Enterprise. Hard work would help take her mind off Spock, help her forget.
Kirk had agreed to have him. It would not be an easy fit. Their outlooks and life experiences were very different. Spock would have to struggle for acceptance, and to make his way. No matter, he had done just that all his life.
Nyota seemed glad to see him, though somewhat annoyed. Spock understood. His actions toward her had been shameful. He had acted with cowardice, avoiding her, thinking that if he withdrew from her, it would ease the pain of separation for both of them. He had deluded himself. Spock had once been able to compartmentalize his feelings, but that was before he had fallen in love.
Their watch would be over in a few minutes. Kirk had called a dinner meeting for the bridge officers. After that, Spock would have to face Nyota.
"After this meeting, I'm gonna kick me some Vulcan butt! He is in so much trouble! Not one word, and he just shows up. Still, I'm glad to see him...." Nyota continued to stew in her own juices. "Spock had better beware!"
The meeting was short, but uncomfortable, held in the briefing room. They sat around the large table. Kirk required each bridge officer to introduce themselves and reveal two things not generally known about them. This was a "team building" exercise to help them get to know each other, and frankly Spock detested it. He did not like disclosing personal information, no matter how harmless or trivial. In the past it had always been used against him. Kirk liked motorcycles and grew up on a farm. McCoy came from Georgia and liked country music. Sulu was into French literature and fencing. Chekov was a whiz at video games and snorkeling. Scotty liked to play poker and eat sandwiches. Nyota was a singer who loved Bugs Bunny cartoons. (Spock had not known the latter!) All Spock could think of to say was that he enjoyed in-line skating and Heavy Metal music.
McCoy had snorted "I can't believe it! A hobgoblin metal head on wheels! Next he'll be playing the electric guitar."
Spock saw no reason to reveal that he had in fact brought an electric guitar on board with him.
After the meeting broke up, Spock returned to the Quarter Master's office, got his room assignment, and retrieved his possessions. He had been issued the same quarters as before and knew their location. He stowed his gear inside, placing his instruments in the closet. He would finish unpacking later. It was time to speak with Nyota, he would delay no longer. Spock obtained her room assignment from the computer. She was located on the same deck as he, several doors down.
As he stepped out of his quarters, he nearly collided with Nyota.
"You've got some explaining to do, Mister."
"Yes, I have. Would you like to come in?"
Nyota pushed her way into his quarters, her hands on his shoulders. The door closed behind her. "What were you thinking? Why did you shut me out?"
Spock removed her hands, holding them in both of his. He had never done this before. "I was confused as to my course of action, unable to decide to whom I owed my loyalty. We were grieving our losses. I thought it would be easier on both of us if I pulled back, gave us some distance. It was not easier, though it did help clarify my need for you."
"Your need for me?"she asked. Spock nodded.
"Does this mean you are sticking around? Not running off to the Vulcan colony or joining the "breeding program"? Nyota's hands were on her hips now. She had taken them back from Spock.
"I am staying with Starfleet. And I hope that you still want me, that you will forgive me."
"I forgive you. Just don't ever do anything like that again. For a logical, intelligent being, you can be such an idiot sometimes. It's really quite a paradox." She sat down on the bed, shaking her head. "I still want you. I love you, need you."
Spock sat down next to her, and then he did something else he had never done before. Whenever they had kissed before, Nyota had always initiated it. This time, Spock took her in his arms and kissed her.
Then he put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Need? Nyota, what do you need? Tell me."
"I need you, you butt head. Come back here!"
In the weeks since Vulcan's destruction and his mother's death, Spock had not once touched his harp. Tonight, he felt like music. He would sing for Nyota, a song from his childhood, one his mother often sang for him. As he sang it, he wondered. Was he a lover, a dreamer, or something in between?
Why are there so many songs about rainbows,
And what's on the other side.
Rainbows are visions but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it,
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, The rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
Who said that ev'ry wish would be heard and answered,
When wished on the morning star.
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star-gazing,
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, The rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic!
Have you been half-asleep And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
It's something that I'm s'posed to be.
Someday we'll find it, The rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me
A/N
The Rainbow Connection by Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher.
Sarah McLachlan singing it .com/watch?v=r4GBnpS83As