Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. This is a BADE story and it takes place right after the 'time out' scene on BOYK. I was inspired by the story Bad Habit

Jade felt like it was all too much. She couldn't handle it anymore. She was tired. She hated the arguing and the fact that Beck was always siding against her and with Tori and the feeling like she had to cut! The first time he got mad at her she nearly cut then and subsequently every time since she felt the urge stronger and stronger. She had to take control. She wasn't going to get back to that point again. She had promised Beck a long time ago she wouldn't cut. But she needed to get that urge under control.

"Okay Jade," Beck said, "I think that's enough. Now we need to 'talk'."

"No," Jade said, "We need to really talk. I... I need to tell you something and I need you to listen."

"Is something wrong," Tori asked.

Jade bit back a sarcastic remark.

"Vega," Jade said, "I need to speak with Beck alone."

Everyone nodded and left the room until it was just Jade and Beck alone.

"What's up," Beck asked.

He could tell in her voice something was wrong and he went from being angry to being concerned.

"Ever since the first time you got mad at me... I have felt the urge to cut again."

Beck's eyes widened in shock. He assumed that Jade was just being typical Jade. When he got mad at her it subdued her for awhile but it had led her into a dangerous path.

"Have you ever... actually done it again," he asked terrified to know the answer.

She shook her head.

"Jade I had no idea. I really thought I was doing the right thing by getting mad at you. I even thought acting cold to you afterward was the right thing to do. In my mind I wanted you to understand how Tori was feeling. I didn't think that it was going to h- I mean..."

She put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know what you mean Beck. You didn't think it would hurt me to the point where it would be dangerous."

"Right," Beck said, "I thought it would teach you a lesson not make you think that cutting was your only option."

"I don't know what to do," Jade said, "I'm scared"

"What are you scared about," he asked.

"That I'm gonna lose you to Vega," Jade said, "That the 'incidents' will go to far. That I won't be able to-"

"Okay first of all you will never lose me to Tori. I love you Jade. Tori is my friend though and it bothers me when you embarrass her or put her down when she's feeling bad"

"Then why did you get mad at her in the first place," Jade asked.

"I... don't know," Beck said, "I thought that it... well you know I've been going through a lot at the time and I really didn't have the-"

"You know if I talked like that you would say I was making excuses," Jade challenged.

"I know," Beck said laughing, "But getting serious now you need to get help. You need to see a therapist"

"Fine if you'll go with me."

"Would it make you feel better if I did?"

"Yes"

"The I will," Beck said, "and by the way thank you"

"For what," Jade asked confused.

"For listening to me"'

"You're welcome," she told him.