Kulmari, a Buffy fanfic told in a Teaser & four acts.

By Zach Garland

[As of June 5th, 2002 the fan fiction I've posted to fanfiction.net should be read in the following order:

"House of Mirrors" midseason six, somewhere between "Tabula Rasa" and "Hell's Bells."

"You Slay Me" faux season 7 episode 1 (relatively soon after real season 6 episode 22 "Grave")

"As You Know It" faux season 7 episode 2

"Unrest" faux season 7 episode 3 (with shades of sequel to real season 4 episode 22 "Restless")

"Kulmari" faux season 7 episode 4

This piece is rated PG but there's really nothing in it that couldn't be pulled off in prime time tv. This is a rough draft. If you have any questions or comments feel free to write to zachsmind@yahoo.com. The basic gist of the plot is that the Kulmari have been unleashed on Sunnydale and the Scoobies have been asked by the Coven at Devon to stop them. Also, Tara has returned from the dead in the form of a ghost and attempts to further connect to her friends.]



TEASER

Scene: A light forest. Actually it's a cross between a meadow and a forest, or perhaps a large clearing in a forest with some trees. There is a log cabin here that appears lived in and cozy. It's midday. The camera's panning over the scene from left to right, in the distance we can hear wood chopping, and as we pan right the sound quickly grows closer until we see Xander by a large tree trunk chopping pieces of wood with an axe. Like he's making firewood. He appears to be enjoying himself, but he's on some kind of deadline. (Think the scene in Star Trek Generations when Picard meets Kirk in the Nexus, and Kirk is chopping wood.) He's wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans, and looks like a haggard woodsman.

XANDER: (to himself as he's chopping wood) I need more wood. I have to finish the cabin. …I need more wood. I have to finish the cabin…

He repeats this two or three times, then he continues murmuring it or variations of it until his next line. The camera should show that in the background, not too far away, there is a forest. There is wood here. Also, the cabin looks very finished. Still, Xander is hard at work. Xander's back is to the cabin, but there is a tree standing nearby in plain sight of him.

Camera cuts to a different angle of the same scene, but now Tara & Buffy are here several feet away from Xander. She is wearing a blue top and gray slacks. Around her neck is a black leather collar, which is linked to a large chain. This chain goes down to the ground and is wrapped loosely around Buffy, who is dressed like The First Slayer. Rags, dreadlocks or badly kept hair, and gray or white clay on her face. Buffy is crouched down and is digging in the grass. Tara holds the chain in one hand as if Buffy were a pet. However, though when Tara moves Buffy follows her as if she's a trained dog, it should be very clear with the collar who is really in charge of whom.

Tara walks over towards Xander, who is still chopping wood and doesn't notice them. She observes what he is doing. Buffy picks up a piece of wood that Xander has recently chopped. Buffy sniffs at it and feels it. She tries to eat it. She admires it as if she's never seen chopped wood before. Xander notices that a piece of his wood is missing. He looks over at Buffy.

XANDER: Hey! That's my wood! Put that back.

Buffy growls at Xander and takes a ferocious defensive posture. Tara looks over at Buffy and nonverbally indicates for her to sit. Buffy looks at Tara quizzically, then reluctantly takes a sitting position, not unlike a dog. However, she still keeps the piece of wood near her.

Xander walks over after a beat and takes the piece of wood away from Buffy, who growls again. Xander doubletakes at Buffy, then looks up at Tara, who shrugs.

XANDER: I'm low on wood. I have to finish my cabin.

TARA: Xander? It's me. Tara. I didn't leave.

XANDER: You should keep that mongrel on a leash.

Tara & Buffy both look at the thick metal chain, which connects them, and then look at each other.

Xander returns to his stump, and picks up an axe and a block of wood.

TARA: I'm trying to reach you guys but it's very difficult. I'm still new at this.

XANDER: I'd love to talk, but I need to finish my cabin.

TARA: (looks at the cabin) Looks done to me.

XANDER: Looks can be deceiving. Trust me when I say it's not.

Buffy impatiently tugs on the leash, getting Tara's attention. They nonverbally sorta.. pop their eyes out at each other. Buffy is trying to tell Tara to go. Tara is trying to tell Buffy to be patient. Buffy is growing noticeably more impatient.

XANDER: I have to finish.

TARA: Can't you finish later? This is important.

XANDER: It's not gonna build itself.

TARA: It's already done, Xander. Look behind you.

XANDER: No time. I don't have any time.

Buffy has had enough. She shakes the chain loose from around her body, then jumps on the tree stump like a frog, just as Xander's about to strike the wood that she pushes aside. Buffy stares him down. He lowers the axe. They stare at each other. Buffy's being very feral but inquisitive, cocking her head to one side. Xander drops the axe.

XANDER: You really should put this mongrel on a leash.

TARA: She was on a leash.

XANDER: Looks to me you're the one on the leash.

Buffy attacks Xander, pushing him over. There's a bit of a scuffle. He tries to get away but she drags him over to the log cabin and, grabbing his head, makes him look at it.

Tara walks up to them carefully, the chain dragging behind her.

TARA: See? She says it's done. You can stop. She wants me to speak with you.

XANDER: It's done? Wow. I've been working so hard all this time. I didn't know.

BUFFY VOICEOVER: Too many tree.

XANDER: What did she say?

TARA: She said you couldn't see the forest for the trees.

XANDER: (still in Buffy's clutches) She should be a psychiatrist. Gee is there something you can do to get your mutt off of me?

Tara picks up a stick on the ground. She teases Buffy with it by tapping it on the ground and waving it in the air. Buffy starts acting like a domesticated puppy, she looks at the stick and watches it moving around. Tara throws it off camera, and Buffy goes scampering after it on four legs.

Tara helps Xander stand up.

XANDER: Gee. Thanks.

The scene shifts. We're now in a psychiatrist's office. Tara is now dressed in a conservative outfit, but she still wears the collar. The chain is gone. She's wearing black rimmed glasses and holding a clipboard, as if she's the shrink. There is a couch here and a chair. Behind that is a desk. Tara motions for Xander to sit down on the couch. He does so. She sits in the adjacent chair.

TARA: It will take awhile for her to find us here. I have some things I need to tell you.

XANDER: Okay. Shoot.

TARA: It's important that you remember this when you wake up.

XANDER: Well, I make no promises. The log cabin is done.

TARA: Yes. Now. You need to let Jonathan do his part to stop the Kulmari. You're going to try to stop him but you are not to do so. Do you follow me?

XANDER: Jonathan? Who's he?

TARA: You'll remember.

XANDER: I gotta finish my cabin.

TARA: The cabin is finished.

XANDER: It is?

TARA: (to herself) oh this is hopeless.

XANDER: No it's not. You want me to finish the log cabin.

TARA: You already finished it. Stay with me. Focus.

XANDER: Okay.

TARA: Willow knows how to reach me, but it's locked in her head, and that necklace is keeping her from seeing or hearing me. You are NOT to remove the necklace. Do you understand me? She's not ready yet.

XANDER: I don't remove the necklace.

TARA: Right.

XANDER: And then I'll finish the cabin?

TARA: You finished the cabin. This has nothing to do with the cabin. We're not in the forest anymore. We're in a doctor's office.

XANDER Right. And THEN I'll be done with the cabin?

TARA: You're not listening to me. The Crone gave you a parchment. It's still in your pocket. Follow the directions on the parchment. Do not let Willow remove the necklace. Even when she's sleeping.

XANDER: I really need to flush out the squirrels. They keep making nests in the pantry.

TARA: Xander!

The door opens. It's Buffy still in the First Slayer costume. She's panting like a doggie, and the stick is in her teeth. She gallops into the room and jumps up on Xander, who takes the stick from her mouth and begins petting her like a doggie. Buffy rubs up against Xander and licks his face. Xander's loving this. It's like watching a child and his long lost puppy reunited.

XANDER: (laughs) Sparky! Hahaha cut it out that tickles!

TARA: (utterly disappointed) I'll have to find another way to get through.

XANDER: See the stick? Lookit the stick!

Buffy becomes mesmerized by the stick and smiling with her tongue sticking out she follows it as Xander dances it in front of her. Then Xander throws the stick through the doorway and Buffy scampers off after it.

Xander turns back to Tara soberly.

XANDER: There's the parchment the Crone gave me. I forgot about it last night. I need to read it this morning. I should probably show it to Giles. Willow is not to take off the necklace. Even when she sleeps. You have very important things to tell me, and I finished the log cabin.

TARA: (looks at him astonished) ..y-y-yes

XANDER: Anything else?

TARA: (shrugs) Wake up and get ready for work.

Scene changes to Buffy's living room. We see a moderate close up of Xander whose eyes are closed and he's been drooling. Suddenly his eyes pop open.

XANDER: Damn! I'll be late for work!

WOLF HOWL. OPEN CREDITS.



ACT I

Camera follows Tara through the house. Tara's wearing a blue top and gray slacks. She looks normal. She starts upstairs looking in on Willow who's sleeping with the necklace on. Tara smiles at her then gets up to walk down the hall. She looks in on Dawn, who's sleepily brushing her hair.

Note: actress portraying Tara should be conscious of not touching or moving any furniture or other objects whenever possible unless specifically directed in the script, without being obvious about it.

TARA: Hey Dawnie.

No response. Dawnie doesn't see her. Tara didn't seem to expect a response. She walks down the hall, a little sad but determined. Clem is walking up the steps. Tara stops at the top of the stairs and then tries to concentrate. Clem stops as he gets near her.

TARA: Clem? Do you see me?

CLEM: (to himself) Another cold spot. (calls down hall) Hey Dawn!

Dawn sticks her head out of her room & looks down hall at him. Clem walks through Tara as he finishes going up the stairs, he continues walking towards Dawn. .

DAWN: (forced whisper) Shh!! People are trying to sleep!

CLEM: (forced whisper) I found another cold spot.

DAWN: So? That got old last night.

CLEM: But maybe Tara's up here now?

DAWN: Are you gonna make my bed? You slept in it.

CLEM: Sorry. You sleep on the couch?

DAWN: No I gave Spike the couch. He needed it.

CLEM: Sorry. I was kinda out of it last night.

They walk into Dawn's room and their voices fade, but we're still looking at Tara. She looks very sad and alone. She turns around and camera cuts to downstairs, showing her making her way down the steps. No sound by the way. She doesn't make any sound when she walks.

Anya is sitting in a chair. She has a hand with a pencil in it on a notepad. She's concentrating on the pencil in her hand. Tara looks at her for a few seconds. Also in the room is Spike, but we can only see his blonde head because

TARA: Hey Anya. Whatcha doin'?

Anya is surprised and jumps a bit. She addresses Tara but looks straight ahead. She can't see her.

ANYA: (forced whisper) Geez, Tara. Don't do that.

TARA: Sorry. What'd I do?

ANYA: You snuck up on me.

TARA: I didn't mean to.

ANYA: (calming down) It's okay. This just gives me the willies.

TARA: (looks down) I'm s-s-orry. I'll go. (turns to go)

ANYA: No! (whispers again) I mean. Please don't go.

Tara turns back. Takes a cautious step to Anya, who continues looking straight ahead, still holding the pencil and the paper.

ANYA: I like talking to you. I miss you. We all miss you.

TARA: (kneels beside Anya) Could you tell them to stop missing me? I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.

ANYA: We know but, well it's just weird. You said the First Slayer "reassigned" you?

TARA: Not the First Slayer. Somebody above her. I don't know who, but she had something to do with it.

ANYA: And you're in something called the second but you don't know what that is?

TARA: Maybe it's like.. p-p-purgatory? But I don't think I'm being punished for anything. I think I have a job to do.

ANYA: (smiling) Like angels? Are you an angel?

TARA: No. I think I'm just a ghost. Nothing special.

ANYA: (consoling) No wings, huh?

Tara shakes her head.

ANYA: You still there?

TARA: Whoops! Sorry. I shook my head.

ANYA: Well I can't hear when you shake your head.

TARA: I know. I'm sorry.

ANYA: It's okay.

TARA: Whatcha doin'?

ANYA: Automatic writing. Giles and I talked about it last night. Not having a lot of success.

TARA: Well I tried it a bit when I was living but I've never been on this side of it before.

ANYA: Oh. So, I can hear you. Buffy can see you. Sometimes. And Willow is supposed to be able to feel you?

TARA: That's what I gathered. From my trips in the second. So far it seems to be true.

ANYA: But Willow wasn't really feeling you well last night. She turned in early.

TARA: It's that necklace. It keeps her from feeling.

ANYA: It does? Maybe we should take it off?

TARA: NO! I mean… There'll be time for Willow to communicate after she feels better. I want her to get better.

ANYA: Oh I do too. Y'know out in public I won't be able to talk to you. People will think I'm one of those old homeless ladies who push a shopping cart muttering to herself.

TARA: (shrugs) Maybe they're talking to ghosts?

ANYA: Well I just don't wanna wake up and realize I'm one of those kind of people.

TARA: (nods. Beat) Uhm, I understand. Well maybe I can hear your surface thoughts?

ANYA: Maybe. What number am I thinking?

Anya concentrates real hard. Tara just sits there.

ANYA VOICEOVER: (distant at first then louder) Eight. Eight. Eight. Eight.

TARA: Eight?

ANYA: Yay! Yippie! This is fun. …Now wait did I just say that to myself or did you say it cuz it's kinda hard to tell the difference.

We hear Spike giggling in the background, but his face is still out of view.

TARA: Don't I sound like me?

ANYA: Well yes you do but...

TARA: Wait. You're trying automatic writing, right?

ANYA: (being reminded of the pencil and paper) Yeah. Giles thought it might be helpful to try. All I've been getting so far are circles and stars.

TARA: That's like white noise. Here let me try to hold the pencil and move it, and I'll draw a number eight. And you'll know it was me.

ANYA: (smiling. Still looking straight ahead) Okay.

Tara reaches down and touches the eraser tip of the pencil. Suddenly the pencil shoots out of Anya's hand and hits Spike on the back of the head.

SPIKE: Hey!!

ANYA: Woops!

TARA: Sorry!

Spike looks at Anya angrily.

SPIKE: I'm trying to sleep.

ANYA: Tara says she's sorry.

Spike gives her a dirty look.

ANYA: Uh, I'm sorry too. We'll be more careful.

Spike groans and turns around, goes back to sleep. Anya stifles a giggle. Tara giggles without stifling since Spike can't hear her. Anya has more trouble stifling her giggling when she hears Tara giggling.

Camera cuts to Buffy in the kitchen. She looks damn tired. She's wearing her Doublemeat Palace uniform. There is a three foot long submarine sandwich on the table. Buffy appears to be in some kind of morning automatic mode. She takes a knife and chops off a chunk of it. She then puts it on a plate and goes to get something to drink. From the fridge.

Dawn walks in all sleepy and sits at one of the stools.

DAWN: Hey Buffy.

BUFFY: Hey Dawnie. (yawns) Good morning.

DAWN: You have to work today?

Buffy nods

DAWN: It's already light outside. Are you gonna be late?

BUFFY: (shakes her head) I'm working swing.

DAWN: Ahh… (takes the knife and cuts a chunk off the sandwich) Where'd this come from?

BUFFY: (shrugs as she sits back down with her drink) I dunno. I didn't think we had the fixings for a sub. Someone must have ordered it last night.

DAWN: (though still drained of energy she shows excitement) Wasn't last night wonderful?

BUFFY: (shrugs) I'm still confused about what happened last night. (takes a small bite.)

DAWN: We communed with Tara! (takes a bite sleepily)

BUFFY: "communed?" (makes a face at the sandwich) You my dear sister have been hanging out too much with Giles. He's rubbing off on you. Before we know it you'll be using nothing but college words and I won't be able to understand you. (takes a bite)

DAWN: (calms down a bit. Talking with her mouth partially full.) The lights were flickering, and stuff was moving around. The séance was really cool.

BUFFY: Giles still thinks there's a rational logical explanation for all of this. Like group hallucinations or something. Gas leak. Swamp gas. I dunno. (takes a bite)

DAWN: I didn't see him this morning where did he go? (takes a bite of her sandwich)

BUFFY: He went to the college to borrow some equipment he thinks will help us better validate what's going on.

DAWN: (makes a face) Eww! There's cherries in it. (she opens the sandwich and starts inspecting it)

BUFFY: (looks at sandwich) I thought it was just that my tongue wasn't awake yet.

Tara & Anya enter the kitchen doorway. Buffy sees Tara the second she enters. Dawn doesn't react. Tara & Anya appear to be heading outside. Anya is leading and talking while staring straight ahead, heading for the backyard door. Tara's following her. Anya still has the pad & paper in her hand.

ANYA: I hope Spike didn't think I did that on purpose, Tara.

TARA: Oh he's probably already forgotten about it.

They're walking through the kitchen towards the backyard. Anya stops at the doorway and has trouble with the knob. Tara stands behind her at a small distance.

DAWN: Hey Tara.

TARA: Hey Dawnie.

ANYA: Hey guys I'm going outside with Tara to try some automatic writing—

Anya goes for the doorknob, and then her eyes get wide at Dawn's words.

BUFFY: (smiles) Hey Tara.

DAWN: It tastes weird but I like it.

Tara spins around and looks shocked.

Buffy & Dawn give each other a wide-eyed look. Then they turn in unison to face Tara.

The three of them look at each other all wide eyed. Tara looks at Buffy & Dawn. Buffy looks at Tara. Dawn's looking at Tara.

Dawn rushes towards Tara happily in hug mode, but Tara puts her hands up defensively. Dawn goes through her and bumps into Anya, who hits the kitchen door with the back of her head. She bounces back and catches herself.

BUFFY: (makes her way around the counter) Anya you okay?

ANYA: (rubbing her head) Ow!

TARA: Sorry Dawnie.

BUFFY: Tara I can hear you!

DAWN: (steps back away from Tara shivering) I can hear you AND see you!

TARA: (smiles) I don't understand it but.. Yeah!

BUFFY: How come?

DAWN: Ooh you're cold!

TARA: (sees the sandwich for the first time) How'd this get here?

Tara crosses over and looks at the sub.

BUFFY: You didn't put it here? It tastes like cherries.

DAWN: Ooh I'm really cold!

ANYA: (looks at Dawn) You're shivering. Did you walk through her?

BUFFY: Dawn are you alright?

Dawn nods affirmative but she's really shivering. Anya gives her a hug and tries to warm her up. Buffy crosses over to the two of them to check on her sister.

ANYA: How can you two see her? I still can't see her.

BUFFY: You don't look alright.

DAWN: I'll be fine.

Tara's concern is divided. She's unhappy she may have just accidentally hurt Dawn, but she's also looking at the sub sandwich.

TARA: (picks up the sandwich) This darn thing's been following me around all over the second. Momma said it was my gift. It's part of the gift she gave me.

Spike walks in with the blanket on his head. We see from his perspective there is a floating sub sandwich in the middle of the kitchen, where Tara was standing a second before.

SPIKE: (not scared but confused) There's a floating sub sandwich in the middle of the kitchen.

BUFFY: (smiles) We know.

SPIKE: Tara's holding it?

Buffy nods.

SPIKE: (referring to the sub sandwich) hey Tara.

TARA: Hey Spike.

ANYA: It's William now.

TARA: Oh.

BUFFY: Want a bite?

SPIKE: No. I may have a soul now but I still have no appetite, unless you can puree it.

ANYA: (to Tara) you mean this came from you?

TARA: It's been following me. I was asked by my mother to make a bowl of cherries and this showed up instead.

DAWN: So this is Tara's sandwich? This why we can see her now?

SPIKE: Ick!

ANYA: (also appears repulsed but is hiding it better than Spike) Ah, spectral plasma residue.

SPIKE: How repulsive! (he tries to compose himself) No offense, Tara.

TARA: (confused) None taken.

DAWN: What do you mean?

SPIKE: It's spectral plasma residue! You ate that?!

DAWN: What's your problem?

They still don't get it.

TARA: Perhaps Giles could perform some kind of test to be certain but what you two are eating is perhaps Tara's excretions.

SPIKE: It's ghost poop!

Beat. Buffy & Dawn get it. They make icky faces and don't know what to do with themselves.

TARA: Yuck! Oh gee guys I didn't know!

BUFFY: Tara poops submarine sandwiches?

SPIKE: Usually it's all slimy and clinging off the walls like sewers. Old banshees are particularly bad. Spike never saw it in this form

ANYA: Anything that materializes from Tara comes from the release of whatever's created by her spent up energies.

TARA: Oh gee guys, I'm so sorry!

BUFFY: Y'know Spike you talking about yourself in the third person? Getting old.

SPIKE: Try to stay on topic, will you Buff?

BUFFY: I gotta go anyway. Time to head for work. I'll call on my lunch break to see if you guys learn anything else about this ghost sandwich thing, and tonight I'll scout around for those Kulmari guys. Maybe now I'll be able to see'm better.

Everybody says bye to her she waves and heads to the front door. Dawn watches Buffy go.

TARA: (trying not to cry) I feel terrible.

ANYA: Oh it's okay Tara. You couldn't have known.

TARA: First I give Dawnie that whole cold shiver treatment and then she and Buffy get botchilism.

DAWN: I don't have botchilism!

SPIKE: You walked through Tara?

DAWN: Yeah.

SPIKE: Neat wasn't it?

DAWN: It was cold!

SPIKE: Banshee ran through Spike once. (shivers but in a way that indicates he enjoyed it)

DAWN: How can something this good be gross? (takes another bite)

SPIKE: (is repulsed by Dawnie) Ugh!

ANYA: I-I-I don't think that's healthy.

DAWN: You mean eating this is like eating Tara?

SPIKE: It's like eating what Tara flushed down a toilet!

DAWN: Tara tastes like cherry cough syrup. I like it.

ANYA: (takes sandwich from Dawn) Just to be on the safe side, maybe we should wait and let Giles do some tests on it before we eat anymore of it.

TARA: I think I've just poisoned two of my best friends oh my god!

SPIKE: (comforts Tara) You didn't know.

Tara looks at them. Really sorry. Dawns look at Tara. They look at each other. Still holding the sandwich, Tara turns around and runs through a wall full force. Where she hit the wall, the sandwich morphs into green icky stuff, glows a bit and where her body hit the wall this greenish blob of slime appears on the wall.

ANYA: No wait Tara it's okay!

Everyone in the room sees the green slime form on the wall. Their faces squinch up almost in unison. Spike holds his stomach.

DAWN: (points at wall) Now that's gross.

SPIKE: That's what you've been eating.

Dawn remains there for a beat. Then she runs to the sink and tries to put her mouth under the running faucet. Spike & Anya look at each other with knowing looks.

ANYA: Humans!

SPIKE: Yeah I know what you mean!

END SCENE. COMMERCIAL BREAK.



ACT II

Scene: It's dark at first. We're actually in the basement of Buffy's house, but that shouldn't be readily apparent at first. Tara's down on all fours, as if she just fell. She's breathing heavy, and she's crying. She looks around but can't get her bearings. She's talking to herself. We should get the idea that she's grown accustomed to talking to herself.

TARA: (to herself) Oh great. Now I'm in the second again. I lost my concentration and now I've lost Buffy's. How am I gonna find my way back?

She crawls around. It's real dark. There's a candle lit nearby and someone breathing heavy. Surrounding the candle there's some mystical energies in the ether. It's not over the top but it's mildly impressive. She crawls towards the light but it's not until she's almost right on it that we see a short male wearing a scary mask holding a large bone. He's sitting Indian style in front of the candle and there's a dead rabbit in his lap. It's JONATHAN, but we the audience & Tara don't know this at first because he's wearing a mask.

Tara screams in surprise right in Jonathan's masked face, thinking it's some kind of monster. Jonathan screams back at her from behind the mask, in response to Tara's scream.

Jonathan rips off the mask, and Tara almost screams again. Then she stammers. Then the mystical energies dissipate and she sees as we do, that it is indeed Jonathan.

JONATHAN: (starts to stand up) Who's that? Who's there?

TARA: Jonathan? What the- What are you doing?

Jonathan stands up and looks around, holding his magic bone up like a defensive weapon. Tara giggles, because in the light without the mask he looks pretty stupid. He starts walking backward away from the candle and is trying to determine the source of that scream. He ends up against a corner near the stairs.

The door at the top of the stairs opens. We see Spike and behind him Anya.

SPIKE: (calling down the stairs) Who's down there?

JONATHAN: I-I-It's me! Jonathan.

ANYA: You're still here?

JONATHAN: I was trying to do my spell. Been trying all night but it's not working. Then I just got screamed at.

SPIKE: (starts heading down the stairs) I shoulda kicked you out last night.

TARA: Wait!

ANYA: Spike, wait!

Spike doesn't slow down, still going down the stairs during the following dialogue. Jonathan scrambles back to his magic equipment, throws everything he can into his cardboard box as Spike grabs him and starts dragging him back to the stairs. Spike does NOT hit him or cause any physical harm to him. He's simply operating as a bouncer.

SPIKE: What is it?

ANYA: Tara, what is it?

SPIKE: Oh great, the spook's speaking again.

DAWN: Ask her if she's alright!

ANYA: You alright Tara?

TARA: Yeah I'm fine I thought I got lost in the second again but this must be the basement.

ANYA: (to Tara) Oh okay. (to Dawn) She's fine.

JONATHAN: I'm not done! I'm almost done!

SPIKE: Oh you're done alright.

TARA: Tell Spike to stop!

ANYA: Tara says stop.

TARA: Let him go!

SPIKE: Tell Tara I don't take orders from spooks.

ANYA: Spike says—

TARA: Yeah I heard him, Anya. I can hear him.

ANYA: Oh yeah. Well this is just confusing to me!

SPIKE: It's not confusing to me. This is the short little pipsqueak who Buffy wanted out of her house last night and I think he's overstayed his welcome.

ANYA: What were you doing down there anyway?

TARA: I think he was working on the Kulmari thing.

Anya takes Jonathan's box of magic things from him as Spike pushes him up the stairs. Spike pushes Jonathan through the door and back into the kitchen. Jonathan hits the counter in pain.

JONATHAN: Ow!

Spike screams in pain and a hand goes to his temple.

JONATHAN: (spins back around to face the others) What's his problem?

DAWN: Never you mind that.

ANYA: (reaches hand into box & absently pulls out the dead bunny) Could you please explain what you were doing with (notices the bunny and screams as she drops it back in the box) these ..magic components down in Buffy's basement?

JONATHAN: The Kulmari!

DAWN: The Kulmari are down there?

JONATHAN: No!

TARA: He means well..

ANYA: Just a moment, please, Tara. It was a friend of this small man who killed you.

TARA: But it wasn't him.

ANYA: Tara hush! Jonathan? Care to explain yourself?

JONATHAN: While you guys were communing with spirits all night last night, the Kulmari attacked the police station and for all we know they've taken over half the town by now.

SPIKE: Oh really and how'd you escape?

JONATHAN: One of them tried to possess my body but said something about me being too smart or strong willed or something.

SPIKE: Why do I have difficulty believing that?

JONATHAN: I told you guys last night I went back to the police to turn myself in for what I've done and do my time but they already had their hands full.

DAWN: So what were you doing downstairs?

JONATHAN: I believe I know a spell that can help slow the Kulmari down but it's very complex and it's taken me all night to try and get it right and I almost got it right I thought but then something screamed at me and broke my concentration, and then you guys interrupted me. I'm gonna have to start all over again!

DAWN: Why should we trust you?

JONATHAN: Oh come on guys! While you stand here wondering whether or not I want to save some lives there are a bunch of really big meanies out there who want to steal lives! I don't care if you trust me or not but we have to do something! We have to stop this!

DAWN: The lady at the Coven in England said that all we need to do is find the guy who brought these things into the world and kill him and when we do that it should make them all go away.

SPIKE: Is that why you're trying to hard do stop the Kulmari, little man?

JONATHAN: What?

SPIKE: (begins closing in on Jonathan intimidating) Did you accidentally bring these undead warriors into this world and you're trying to undo the damage before they turn on you?

JONATHAN: No!

SPIKE: Or before we turn on you?

JONATHAN: No, please!

SPIKE: (grips J. by his shirt) Maybe you'd like the Slayer to gut you like a fish?

JONATHAN: No it wasn't me!

SPIKE: Oh and you just happened to be at the police station when the Kulmari showed up? Don't tell me it's because they like men in uniform.

JONATHAN: I didn't do it! It was Andrew!

Reaction shot from the group. Spike backs off him a little bit. Jonathan sighs painfully knowing this is a bad thing.

ANYA: Andrew?

TARA: Who's Andrew?

ANYA: I should have let Willow kill the two of you when you were in jail!

JONATHAN: Look we were in Mexico and we got thrown in jail.

SPIKE: Thrown back in jail? Oh, that's rich.

JONATHAN: They took all my magic stuff that I had on me so I was helpless. Then they were dragging me out of the jail and they were gonna rape me and Andrew. Andrew summoned a Kulmari to help us escape but the Kulmari turned on him and took him over.

DAWN: Took him over?

JONATHAN: Apparently that's what they do. The Kulmari said Andrew was the key to bring his brothers into this world, so he jumped into Andrew's body and next thing I knew I was being carried by Andrew and Andrew was talking funny and he was flying in the air. He dragged my ass all the way back here from Mexico and we landed at the police station.

SPIKE: Why the police station?

JONATHAN: I don't know! Ask Andrew!

SPIKE: Thank you I think I will.

Spike lets go of Jonathan and walks towards the door. Then he stops himself.

SPIKE: After dark of course!

END SCENE



Scene: Inside the Sunnydale police station. Everything looks normal at the front desk. There's usual activity. Policemen in uniform walking around doing whatever it is policemen do in police stations. There has apparently been some damage to the place and there are construction workers filtered about too. They're either fixing a wall or examining and surveying the area, doing preliminary construction stuff. There is also a curiously large amount of donut boxes all over the place.

As the camera pans across the place to give us an establishing shot, the camera goes close to the face of the smiling policeman behind the desk. His eyes glow green just briefly as we go over his shoulder and into the captain's closed office behind the front desk guy. A couple policemen are standing by the door. One of them gives a file to the other. The one now holding the file walks into the captain's office and we follow him in.

Inside the office we see an older guy who is the chief of police who is standing behind the desk. Near the desk is one of those standalone water dispensers. Also in the room is Andrew wearing a police uniform that's too big for him. The police chief is playing with some stress-relieving toy that was on the desk, acting like a ten year old. The man holding the folder walks in and hands it to Andrew. Andrew looks it over.

ANDREW: Did you do as I ask?

OFFICER: Yes brother. Any and all traces of any wrong doing by your vessel and his two cohorts has been confiscated and destroyed. All records of their criminal past have been deleted from the memory banks of the police computers, and the guys downstairs discovered a way to get something called 'free porn' from a satellite feed.

ANDREW: Excellent!

CHIEF: (still playing with the stress-relieving toy) Why do we care what these guys did before we came along anyway? In less than a year's time we'll have taken over this entire planet.

ANDREW: In the mean time we must protect this vessel. He's the only way we can bring more of our brothers into this world. Have you done a headcount?

OFFICER: Last night you were able to bring forty of our brothers into this reality. The people who were in this building at the time you entered have either been killed or incarcerated upstairs. When the morning shift came in we acquired another thirty-five policemen and then you took over some of the prisoners who were in the prison cells. Unfortunately they took out all the other prisoners who were in there with them before we could get them out.

ANDREW: Then when we made that trip to the donut shop I successfully took that whole place over.

OFFICER: (smiling & nodding) Yeah now we get all the free donuts we can eat!

CHIEF: And anyone who when you looked at them looked back at you funny I just sent them home with pay.

ANDREW: Why'd you send them home with pay?

CHIEF: They wouldn't leave without pay.

ANDREW: Well we're spending taxpayer money. My vessel believes this place must be rolling in it.

OFFICER: The damage control is underway. We've called a local construction company and they're outside working now.

ANDREW: Is it wise to bring in more outsiders?

OFFICER: The more outsiders we bring in, the more mortals you can surreptitiously bring in to the fold.

ANDREW: (lightly taps on Officer's head with a finger) Surreptitiously! Good word!

CHIEF: Yeah, my guy knows a lot of big words too!

ANDREW: Yeah that's nice.

CHIEF: Like laryngitis!

ANDREW: That's nice.

CHIEF: And gonorrhea!

ANDREW: (takes Officer aside out of earshot of Chief) Are you sure we can't get rid of this guy and appoint me Chief of Police?

OFFICER: Oh no sir. My vessel's memory indicates that everyone looks up to this guy and in fact some people would look at you spending all morning in here with the Chief as a little strange if you know what I mean.

ANDREW: (nods twice but the nod turns into a shaking of the head) Yeah yeah no I don't know what you mean.

OFFICER: (leads Andrew towards the door politely) Why don't you go out there and see if you can surreptitiously convert some of those construction guys and the Chief and me will talk about how we can get the cops out driving around who you haven't converted yet to arrest some good looking women and bring them in for you huh?

ANDREW: Say that's a great idea! I'll go talk to the construction workers.

OFFICER: Yeah, you do that.

ANDREW: Remember guys! Infiltrate, invade and conquer!

OFFICER: You're the boss!

ANDREW: Yeah!

They high five.

OFFICER: Great.

ANDREW: Okay!

OFFICER: Yeah bye.

Officer opens the door for Andrew, who smiles and waves at the Police Chief, who waves back, and the Officer closes the door behind Andrew.

OFFICER: Man, I thought he'd never leave.

CHIEF: I know how to say superkalifragilisticespialidocious!

OFFICER: Great, am I the only smart one?

The water tank in the standalone water dispenser bubbles for no noticeable reason and the Officer's attention is diverted.

Camera cuts outside as a pickup truck with construction men and equipment backs up to just outside the front door of the station. It's being driven by Xander, who's wearing a plaid shirt, blue jeans, and as he exits out of the truck we see he's got a tool belt on and he grabs a clipboard and a helmet and puts the helmet on. The other construction workers he brought with him pile out of the truck and start taking equipment into the station.

XANDER: Alright boys, saddle up! And someone take me to the chief of police I'd like to talk to him— (notices a policeman wandering outside) Ah! Man in blue! Just what I'm looking for.

Xander puts his arm around the guy who walks with him towards the station's front doors.

XANDER: Look, my boss said this is real short notice and highly irregular but we really love helping the police department and we just need to square away some paperwork and get some things signed so my boys know they're getting paid.

As they reach the front door, Andrew meets them smiling widely.

ANDREW: You the leader of these construction workers?

XANDER: (taken aback) You!

We see Andrew make eye contact with Xander. Andrew's eyes glow green briefly. Then Xander's eyes turn green.

ANDREW: Me what?

Xander's eyes remain green for a second and the look on his face changes, as a Kulmari spirit possesses him.

XANDER: You… You really know how to pick'm, brother! This guy's confidence is so low it was a cinch taking him over!

Xander and Andrew hug.

ANDREW: Welcome to the fold, brother!

END SCENE. COMMERCIAL BREAK.



ACT III

Scene: Double Meat Palace. We're in the back kitchen area. Buffy is flipping burgers in her Double Meat Palace uniform. There's a couple other employees in the background. They all look like zombies. Buffy's kinda zombied out. She's apparently been there a few hours.

She's flipping burgers. Looks okay other than the blank stare and the "I really don't wanna be here" demeanor. Then she looks down at the burgers.

Cut to close up of the burgers frying on the grill. Camera zooms in slowly on one of the patties. It looks normal, but it also just looks disgusting.

Cut to close up of Buffy looking at the frying meat, and getting grossed out. Camera goes back and forth a bit between Buffy & the burger. The look on her face slowly begins to look like she's about to throw up. Then we hear her stomach gurgle over the sound of a frying patty. She looks down at her stomach, puts a free hand to her tummy, looks away. She thinks she's got it under control. She looks back at the grill. She's fightin' the green.

The Double Meat Palace assistant manager comes up to her with a clipboard and one of those silly hats.

ASST MAN: Hey Buffy, the manager wanted me to talk to you about your recent tardiness and absenteeism?

BUFFY: Yeah?

ASST MAN: Yeah once it was reported you just walked off the register one night and left with a customer. What was that about?

BUFFY: I did?

ASST MAN: Also the front said one of the guests complained about their patty being too over done?

BUFFY: Yeah?

ASST MAN: Yeah he said it tasted like charcoal.

BUFFY: That's nice.

ASST MAN: Hey are you okay? You don't look well.

BUFFY: (uncharacteristically angry) You work here! Does anyone here look well?

Camera cuts to shots of other employees noticing that there's an unbusinesslike 'outburst' occurring. One person looks surprised. One person looks like they're looking forward to something mildly exciting happening for once. We hear her stomach gurgle again.

ASST MAN: (taken aback) Hey, Buffy. I'm just trying to help you.

BUFFY: Ugh I think I'm gonna be sick.

She runs off camera.

ASST MAN: (calls off after her) Well that's another thing you've used up all your sick time.

Camera cuts to the employee's bathroom. There's a sign prominently on the inside of the door saying "employees must wash hands before returning to work." Our angle is just offcenter from where the mirror over the sink probably would be. Buffy slams open the door and rushes to the toilet. We hear her puke once. Pause. She stands up a bit to the sink and turns on the water. Her head is over the sink. She splashes water on her face. She looks up and looks in the mirror, looking almost in the camera. Buffy looks like she's about to puke again. Then her eyes suddenly get wide and she gasps.

Camera cuts to show the reflection of Buffy in the mirror. In the mirror over her shoulder, behind her she sees that guy Manny who died at Double Meat Palace in a sixth season episode. He waves at her in the mirror. He's in his uniform. He looks a little roughed up.

MANNY: Hey Buffy.

BUFFY: Manny? (she turns around) Manny? You're dead!

MANNY: And what's your excuse?

BUFFY: (she points at the toilet) I just threw up.

MANNY: That's no excuse for you to be loafing on the job.

BUFFY: What?

MANNY: Get back to work, Buffy.

Buffy looks like she's about to yell at him, but then she gets sick again and turns back to the toilet. She throws up. There's a knock at the door. It's the manager of the DMP.

LORRAINE: (off camera behind door) Buffy?

Lorraine opens the door and lets herself in. Buffy is still throwing up. Manny's no longer visible. Buffy's stomach gurgles off and on throughout this scene.

LORRAINE: Oh dear me, Buffy. Are you okay?

Buffy pukes in response. Lorraine grabs some brown paper towels from a nearby dispenser and offers them. She makes sure the door is closed behind her.

LORRAINE: Buffy do you want to talk? Are you experiencing PMS?

Buffy pukes in response.

LORRAINE: Oh dear, I know. You must be experiencing morning sickness. Are you pregnant?

BUFFY: What? No!

LORRAINE: It's okay. You can tell me.

Buffy stands up and looks really bad. There's a little spittle out of her mouth. Lorraine uses a brown paper towel to help clean her face up.

LORRAINE: Look, Buffy. This is probably a bad time to do this. I was hoping the assistant manager would be able to get a good excuse out of you for all the time you've missed recently. Do you have a good excuse?

BUFFY: Nothing you'd believe.

LORRAINE: How about the truth?

BUFFY: The truth is precisely what you wouldn't believe.

She puts the top down on the toilet and sits down. Lorraine kneels beside her.

LORRAINE: Remember that conversation we had? About you knowing our (forced whisper) little company secret?

BUFFY: You mean about how the double meat patties (mock forced whisper) are not meat?

LORRAINE: Yeah that. Look I promised you you could work here so long as you kept that little secret to yourself, but I can't keep covering for you. The other employees are complaining that I'm giving you special treatment and well, it's just bad for morale.

Buffy growls at her.

LORRAINE: (beat) Well that was uncalled for.

BUFFY: I'm sorry it's just… (a light almost goes off over her head) I had a double meat burger for lunch and it tasted strange…

LORRAINE: Oh dear me was it undercooked?

BUFFY: I don't think so I—

A hand goes up to her mouth. She spins around and flips the toilet. Almost pukes but doesn't.

LORRAINE: It's just.. You're putting me in a very awkward position.

BUFFY: You're firing me, aren't you.

LORRAINE: You're just… sick. A lot.

BUFFY: (uncharacteristically accusing) I'll call every news media outlet I can think of from channel 3 to the New York Times to CNN and tell them everything I know! I'll bet there's a lot of lawyers who would love a piece of this action! I'll go to the hospital and get proof of botchilism and I'll shut this place down! I'll shut the entire company down!

As she finishes the line she goes from mean to pukeville. Her head's in the commode as Lorraine says her next line.

LORRAINE: Please, Buffy what do you want?

BUFFY: (head still in commode) Money! Lots of it!

LORRAINE: I'll make some calls. Don't do anything rash, okay?

Buffy pukes in response.

Lorraine gets up and rushes out of the room.

After the door closes, Buffy looks up from the toilet, that green slimy stuff like the stuff we saw appear on the wall earlier when Tara ran through a wall. That's what she's been puking out, only a lot more of it. The look on Buffy's face in this shot is almost feral. She's got a sick greedy looking smile on her face. We hear her stomach gurgle again but this time she doesn't react adversely when it happens. Kneeling before the commode with her hair unkempt and a little slime coming out of her mouth, maybe some on her face, we should be reminded just a bit of how she looked in the opening scene as the First Slayer. She appears to be mentally devolving into a more primitive First Slayer like state.

Camera cuts to show Manny standing above her and near the door. He's going "tsk tsk tsk" or making some other admonishing sound with his tongue.

MANNY: Shame on you, Buffy. I knew you were never a team player.

Buffy rises slowly, and looks dead even at the ghost of her former boss.

MANNY: You want to shut down my place of business?

BUFFY: (low growly) you're dead.

MANNY: I'm dead? You're dead inside. This is a beautiful place and you want to destroy it?

BUFFY: You're Dead.

MANNY: I should kill you!

Manny raises his hands and goes for Buffy's throat. She knees him and pushes him back against the wall. When this happens, he doesn't go through it but we see the mucous slimy stuff splatter on the wall around where he hits, as if it comes out of his back when he hits like popping a zit.

Buffy raises a leg and double kicks him in the face and chest cavity. Manny reels back and this time when he hits the wall, he splatters in pieces that turn into mucous stuff all over the bathroom. Some of it gets on her. It's real gross.

Buffy comes to her senses and suddenly realizes what she's done, and what she can do.

BUFFY: (low grovelly, to herself) The Kulmari!

Buffy goes for the door. After she opens the door, we hear Manny's voice echoing from all over the bathroom, seemingly from the mucous.

MANNY: You didn't wash your hands!

BUFFY: Oh, shut up!

She exits the bathroom.

Cut to the dining area of the Double Meat Palace. Buffy's still covered in mucous and she's heading for the door. Lorraine stops her, holding a cellphone.

LORRAINE: (forced whisper) They wanna know how much.

Buffy drags her outside, or otherwise out of earshot of other employees. Lorraine holds the phone to Buffy's ear and mouth. Buffy looks really sick but she's no longer throwing up.

BUFFY: (low grovelly and way out of character) I want full tuition scholarships for me and my sister to Sunnydale University, and I want to be accepted next semester regardless of my grade point average. AND I want fifty thousand dollars a year for the rest of my sister's life and/or mine. I want that money sent in monthly installments to my home address with no strings attached. AND I want you to change the employee uniforms in all your restaurants because orange is a terrible color! In return your secret will forever be safe with me. If you ever give me trouble or if anything bad happens to either my sister or me I've got what I know written down in a safe place and multiple copies will be sent to every media outlet in the country.

Lorraine puts the phone to her ear.

LORRAINE: You got that?

BUFFY: I really need to go.

LORRAINE: (fearfully) They said they'd do everything but the uniforms.

BUFFY: (beat) Done.

She runs off. Lorraine sighs relief.

END SCENE



Scene: Buffy's living room. It's near sundown outside. Dawn is on the couch curled up in a fetal position. By the couch is a pail that has some of the green goo in it. Anya is caring over her, with a damp washrag that she is putting to Dawn's forehead. Dawn is shivering and they've put a couple blankets over her. She looks about as bad as Buffy.

Giles is walking down the steps with some electronic equipment in his hands. As the camera reveals more of the living room we see Spike is putting some wiring up around the walls near the ceiling. There's a lot of complicated looking equipment strewn about the room in various stages of completion. Apparently this is stuff for use in detecting Tara's presence in the room.

Tara is standing in the middle of the room, trying to stay out of everyone's way. She's looking at Dawn sadly and dried tear streaks are down her cheeks. Jonathan is at a table and he's wearing the mask and holding his bone, chanting something or muttering. A candle's lit in the center of the table.

GILES: (as he comes down the stairs into the living room) Is she getting any better?

ANYA: Well she's not puking anymore, and her eyes no longer seem to be rolled back in her head, but she's still cold.

SPIKE: Should we put more blankets on her?

ANYA: I don't think the blankets are helping.

GILES: I'd say we should take her to the hospital but I've no idea what we'd say.

SPIKE: She's been poisoned by ingesting Tara slime.

Tara starts crying again, but remains standing where she is. Giles & Spike are both still hard at work putting the equipment together. Anya is still at Dawn's side. Johnathan is still muttering to himself over his magic bone and a dead bunny carcass.

ANYA: William! Will you stop that! Tara's crying again!

SPIKE: (to Anya) sorry. (mildly yells this to the ceiling or the room, having no idea where Tara is) Sorry, Tara!

GILES: (to Spike) You plugged this into the wall.

SPIKE: So?

GILES: Everything must get connected to the surge protectors that are connected to the portable generator I left outside. If something goes wrong I don't want to completely short circuit Buffy's house.

SPIKE: (sarcastically) Yes sir. (goes to replug everything)

TARA: (her face suddenly emotionless) I'm being summoned.

ANYA: What?

TARA: I have to go…

SPIKE: I said yes sir.

ANYA: Not you William.

Still standing in the center of the room, Tara fades from our sight. No one else sees her go.

GILES: We can't guarantee Buffy's electrical system doesn't already have a short in it. This will be further verifiable proof since all this equipment is brand new.

ANYA: Tara? You still there?

SPIKE: Where'd you get all this junk anyway?

Anya shrugs.

GILES: A number of places. I've been busy collecting equipment all day.

ANYA: I thought you said the Watcher's Council was planning on revoking your license.

GILES: Oh they haven't done that yet, but I got most of this with the help of the coven in Devon. It amazes me how well financed they are.

SPIKE: Maybe you should let the Council strip you and Buffy of any connection with them. Didn't you say the coven gave each of you honorary knighthood? We'd probably have more success working with them.

GILES: The Slayer and the Watcher's Council have traditionally worked in tandem for centuries. What I'll need to do is prove to them how indispensable Buffy is. How indispensable we all are.

ANYA: Whatever. They've been nothing but a pain in our sides is all I can see.

JONATHAN: Woah.

SPIKE: What now, midget?

JONATHAN: The mystic energies in this house just.. like.. quadrupled.

SPIKE: It's all in your head.

Giles finishes up with what he was working on and crosses the room to start putting up something else.

GILES: Where is Xander anyway? He was supposed to bring an electrician here today so we could get the electrical in this house checked.

ANYA: I'm no longer my ex-fiance's keeper so I honestly couldn't tell you.

GILES: At this point all this equipment is but a formality. Hopefully we'll be able to get conclusive proof that Tara is here, but I think given the present circumstances we don't need to prove it to ourselves.

ANYA: (bitterly) You mean you don't need to prove it to yourself.

GILES: Well I must admit I still think there must be rational explanations for everything that's happened thus far. At the moment I can't conceive of one but that does not mean one cannot be determined. Hopefully this equipment will help us better determine precisely what Tara has become and how we can better communicate with her.

SPIKE: (to Jonathan) You mind? We can use another pair of hands over here.

Jonathan doesn't move.

GILES: Leave him alone, William. If he's right he'll be able to slow the Kulmari down enough to help Buffy stop them when she gets off work from.. the Double Meat Palace.

SPIKE: And if he's wrong?

GILES: Well as Willow pointed out last night—

SPIKE: Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll spontaneously combust?

GILES: I was going to say something more along the lines of how he is mildly more expendable than the rest of us but.. not to mince words but yes.

JONATHAN: (behind the mask) Thank you all for that vote of confidence!

ALL BUT JOHN: (turn to him in unison) Shut up!

The front door swings open. Buffy enters and goes straight to the stairs. Anya, Giles and Spike look over at her. Anya stands up and takes a step or two away from Dawn towards the stairs.

ANYA: Buffy?

SPIKE: Isn't she home early?

GILES: That can't be good.

ANYA: That was Buffy, wasn't it?

GILES: Well we're almost done here, Spike can you? Uh, I'm sorry I mean William? Can you finish checking all the connections and perhaps put some duct tape or a rug over those wires there leading to the outside?

SPIKE: Sure thing.

ANYA: I could go..

GILES: No you need to keep an eye on Dawn. Let me know if her condition worsens. I'll go upstairs and check on Buffy.

SPIKE: What will we do if her condition worsens?

GILES: Well I know I'm speaking to a demon, a vampire and an aspiring warlock, but would prayer be out of the question?

END SCENE



Scene: Upstairs in Buffy's house. The upstairs area is dimly lit, and night has almost fallen outside so the shadows should be more dark and forboding than usual, except in Willow's room where the camera begins. There's candles lit here and there about the room. Willow is sitting in the middle of the room. Her back is to us at the moment. We see on an end table near the bed that the glowing necklace she was wearing to inhibit her emotions has been left. The camera closes in on Willow and then gets her in profile and then full frontal. The candle light flickers delicately about her hair and face. We see that she's staring blankly ahead. She's taking a stick of lipstick, and is slowly and methodically putting a single line along each cheek, her chin and her forehead, similar to how she put fawn's blood on her face during the Osiris ritual that she used to bring Buffy back to life in the sixth season episode "Bargaining."

Willow stares blankly ahead as we hear Buffy storming up the stairs outside. The camera leaves the motionless Willow and heads out the door to see Buffy storm down the hallway into her own bedroom. She flicks on the lights in her room and begins stripping down to her underwear. We see that her clothes are still a little slimy, and she appears to have become even more feral. She's breathing strangely and as she rips off her clothes she throws them about violently. Then she hunts about the room trying to remember where she put her clothes. She sniffs at things as she decides what to wear. She eventually will choose an all black outfit that is more functional for slayage than tasteful.

Camera cuts to inside Buffy's room looking out the doorway, as Giles approaches. We get his reaction to Buffy being practically naked. He averts his eyes.

GILES: Oh dear. Buffy. I'm terribly sorry. You're home early. Is everything alright?

Buffy growls.

GILES: Bad day at work again?

BUFFY: Good day. Got a raise.

GILES: Well that's nice. I'm sorry I was out all day but I needed to get some equipment.

Buffy huffs.

GILES: We're almost done downstairs if you'd like to join us.

BUFFY: Busy.

GILES: By the by have you experienced any dizzy spells, vomiting or violent mood swings because Dawn has taken ill and Anya says you and Dawn ate the same food this morning and..

Buffy looks straight at him, partially dressed. She's bent over as if ready to pounce on him. She's breathing erratic. Sweaty and slimy. Her hair's a mess. Her eyes are bloodshot.

GILES: Dear God. Buffy perhaps you should sit down.

BUFFY: What's wrong, Giles?

GILES: You just.. look familiar.

BUFFY: (coughs) 'Course I do. I'm your Slayer.

GILES: That's ah.. a matter of opinion at the moment.

BUFFY: (continues dressing) I'm the Slayer. The Silver Slayer.

GILES: You d-don't look well, Buffy perhaps you should lie down?

BUFFY: No time. I can stop Kulmari.

GILES: Buffy..

BUFFY: Have to act now.

GILES: We're working on that uhm..

BUFFY: While I can still hurt them…

GILES: Jonathan has a spell…

BUFFY: …While I can still see them.

GILES: …that will slow them down a bit for you but you need to wait.

BUFFY: Slow them down?

GILES: Yes.

BUFFY: Where's the fun in that?

GILES: Buffy please.

BUFFY: I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating wound.

GILES: Oh dear.

BUFFY: I am destruction. I am absolute.

GILES: Buffy you appear to be reverting. Somehow you're taking on characteristics of The First Slayer.

BUFFY: (coughs) So?

GILES: I'll uh, go get the others.

BUFFY: No. We are alone.

Giles turns to go but is stopped by an emotionless Willow. As we see him turn the camera reveals a close-up of her marked face.

WILLOW: No others. We are alone.

Off camera there's a flash of light. Giles reacts in pain.

FAST BLACK. COMMERCIAL BREAK



ACT IV

Scene: Upstairs Hallway in Buffy's house. Camera cuts to a shot farther back which reveals that Willow has just hit Giles with purple electricity shooting out of her hands. Giles falls to the ground. We see that Willow is holding the necklace in her hand.

Buffy appears in the doorway, crouched down. She looks up at Willow, who looks down at her without emotion.

WILLOW: Are we ready?

Buffy gruffs an affirmative. The two of them start down the hallway toward the stairs.



Camera cuts to back downstairs in the living room. It's now just after dusk. Anya is helping Spike with a piece of equipment.

ANYA: That's just very unlike her, to rush in without even saying hello.

SPIKE: She's had a lot on her mind.

ANYA: Yes but she always has a lot on her mind.

SPIKE: Okay that should do it.

ANYA: Anything else I can do?

Anya moves away from Spike and returns to Dawn. Her eyes slowly get wide.

SPIKE: Nope. I think we're ready. I guess I should go outside and double check the generator.

ANYA: Wait, William?

SPIKE: Yeah?

ANYA: Lookit this.

Cut to OTS shot of Anya, we're looking at Dawn. Her skin appears to be glowing golden slightly. Spike kneels down before Dawn, next to Anya. Anya lifts up the blankets just a bit and they peer under them. We see a brighter glow coming from underneath the covers.

Cut to reaction shot of Anya & Spike as they see this. We're looking over the couch. The golden glow reflects off them. It does not affect Spike adversely. Their eyes are wide. They look at each other.

SPIKE: Go get Giles.

ANYA: You go get Giles.

SPIKE: I'm not leaving Dawn's side. Not like this.

ANYA: Oh alright.

Anya turns and is about to get up, but when she turns she's staring face to face with an almost unrecognizable Buffy.

Buffy sniffs at the air around Anya. She smiles evilly.

BUFFY: (looks ready to strike) DEMON!

WILLOW: No!

Buffy stops. She looks disappointed. Anya stands up to see Willow.

ANYA: You should be in bed, Willow. Where's your necklace?

WILLOW: We are fine.

ANYA: Tara?

BUFFY: Kill demon.

WILLOW: No she's our friend.

BUFFY: Friends. Weakness. Obstacles in our way.

SPIKE: (notices Buffy and Willow) What the—

BUFFY: Vampire!

WILLOW: No, Slayer. We fight Kulmari tonight.

BUFFY: Should thin out the herd while I'm here.

WILLOW: No! Heel!

ANYA: Heel?

Willow goes to the door.

WILLOW: Slayer! Come!

Buffy growls at Anya & Spike.

WILLOW: Slayer!

BUFFY: (change of character) They're my friends. I must go.

Buffy & Willow head for the door.

WILLOW: Tell Johnathan to get that spell to work. We'll need it soon.

Cut to Johnathan still at the table.

JONATHAN: Almost done.

Cut back to Anya & Spike.

ANYA: Tara what are you doing in Willow?

WILLOW: (stops) Someone forgot to keep an eye on her. She took the necklace off and then summoned me. I had little choice. She's still more powerful. This will do.

SPIKE: Should one of us come with you?

WILLOW: No. You're safer here. We have to go.

Buffy & Willow leave.

SPIKE: We're safer here?

ANYA: Should we let them go?

SPIKE: You want to argue with that?

ANYA: Not especially.

They turn around to see an energy ball floating over the couch. It hangs there in the air a moment, then it flies out through the window.

SPIKE: Dammit!

Spike grabs his trenchcoat off the banister and heads for the front door. Giles groans from upstairs. They look up.

Camera cuts to show Giles holding his gut and trying to climb down the stairs. His legs buckle and he falls dangerously down but Spike & Anya catch him. They help him back into the living room.

ANYA: What happened?

GILES: Willow knocked me out. Where've they gone?

SPIKE: She said they were hunting Kulmari tonight.

ANYA: Giles, Tara's inside Willow.

GILES: What?

ANYA: Apparently she woke up and took off her necklace. Tara said she was summoned to her and Willow gave her little choice.

GILES: She shouldn't be powerful. All the dark magicks are supposed to be gone from her system.

SPIKE: Maybe she's not going on dark magicks.

GILES: The First Slayer has somehow possessed Buffy.

SPIKE: Really? Looked more like a rabid dog's possessed her.

GILES: You're not too far off. The First Slayer was a cave woman. Her spirit's very strong. She almost killed us once.

ANYA: Last night she said The First Slayer wasn't trying to kill you.

GILES: Yes she was just saying hi. When she says hi, I feel pain.

ANYA: Another problem, Giles.

SPIKE: Dawn has disappeared.

GILES: Disappeared?

ANYA: She turned into an energy ball and flew off.

GILES: Damn!

ANYA: What do we do?

GILES: The spectral refuse they digested must have reverted both Buffy & Dawn into more primitive forms. For Buffy it connected her more deeply with the powers that make her a descendant of the Slayer, and for Dawn it reverted her to what she was before she became Dawn.

SPIKE: It is reversible?

GILES: Buffy mentioned upstairs that she had to strike now, while she could still see and hurt the Kulmari. She must know instinctively that the condition she is in will not last long. Perhaps only as long as the spectral energies remain in her system. Hopefully their present conditions are only temporary.

JONATHAN: Done!

They turn to look at Jonathan, who takes off the mask and the other stuff.

SPIKE: Done what?

JONATHAN: The spell. It's done. Now, any Kulmari within ten feet of me will slow down, and if they're inside someone else's body they'll be forced out.

GILES: Within ten feet of you!?

JONATHAN: Yeah. I mean it's a proximity spell. It's a defensive spell.

SPIKE: Do you see any Kulmari around you?

JONATHAN: Well. No.

GILES: Dammit why didn't you cast the spell on Buffy?

JONATHAN: I-I don't know how to do that. Besides she wasn't here.

ANYA: How long does it last?

GILES: Come on. (grabs Jonathan and drags him to the door)

JONATHAN: Should last all night. At least a few hours.

ANYA: Where we going?

JONATHAN: The police station's a good place to look first. That's probably where Andrew still is.

GILES: Does anyone have a car?

The others respond negative. Outside we see red & blue police lights flashing & hear sirens.

GILES: Wonderful. We'll have to run for it.

Giles opens the door and they rush out. A patrol car drives up to the front of Buffy's home. Xander gets out of one of the cars, from the passenger side.

XANDER: There they are officers! Arrest them!

GILES: Xander?

ANYA: What are you doing?

A couple police step forward.

GILES: What's the meaning of this?

COP01: Mister Harris claims you've stolen equipment from a construction site earlier today. If you'll come with us quietly please.

SPIKE: Over my dead body!

Jonathan steps forward reeking of confidence.

JONATHAN: Officers, perhaps there's something I can do to straighten all this out.

As he approaches them, within five or ten feet, the officers and Xander start to scream and hold their heads, then fall to their knees. Suddenly three Kulmari slowly start to phase out of their bodies. The policemen and Xander fall to the ground unconscious.

JONATHAN: See? It works!

GILES: Now what?

SPIKE: How do we fight them?

JONATHAN: Oh. Well I guess I just didn't think that far ahead.

ANYA: Great!

The Kulmari slowly move towards them, but the closer they get to Jonathan the harder it is for them to move. One of them attempts to possess Spike but instead of success it screams in pain. Spike swings at him but his fist goes through.

GILES: Keep swinging! About one in every three punches should connect!

SPIKE: Wonderful!

A fight ensues. Giles, Anya & Spike face the Kulmari with their backs to each other and Jonathan is squeezed between the three of them. Xander begins shaking himself back awake. They're able at one point to shove or punch the Kulmari away from them but they can't do any real damage.

ANYA: Stay down, Xander!

SPIKE: Keep your eyes closed!

GILES: Get in the car!

XANDER: Okay which one of those three do you want me to do!?

The situation looks hopeless.

SPIKE: We're not making headway!

GILES: Our only hope is escape! Head for the patrol car!

They manage to make it to the patrol car. They close the doors and the Kulmari are unable to approach it because of Jonathan's proximity spell. Giles is in the driver's seat. They drive off and head towards the police station.

Cut to outside police station. There are several unconscious policemen and other people strewn about outside. No blood is apparent, but there is a lot of that mucous slime on everything. Screams can be heard inside, It appears at first sight that Willow & Buffy have left everyone for dead. We see a patrol car drive up and Giles & the others are in it.

Cut to inside the station. More people are strewn about and slime is everywhere. Buffy is fighting two large Kulmari and in her more feral condition, she's having a field day. She has never looked this good. She's able to treat them as if they're tangible. In her present condition the apparitions are almost solid for her. Every two out of three punches or kicks connect, and she is relentless.

We cut to see Willow approaching a half dozen police who are apparently possessed. Bright golden energies are swirling around her. Among the frightened Kulmari possessed police is Andrew who is trying to hide behind the others.

WILLOW: Sleep!

One of them falls to the ground and a Kulmari phases out of the fallen body. A strike of energy shoots out from the golden swirlies around Willow and that one strike takes the Kulmari out instantly. Its energies scream and turn golden and fall into the swirlies, making the swirlies stronger.

ANDREW: Please! Have mercy!

WILLOW: No mercy! Face your pain! Cowards!

Cut back to Buffy. She topples one of the Kulmari and then jumps on his chest. The creature's energies separate and dissipate. She sneers at the other one which backs away from her. Buffy launches across the room and slams the other Kulmari into a wall. It turns into mucous and slime. She licks her arm and slurps the mucous like a cavewoman might slurp an enemy's blood off her skin. Then she turns her attention to the people in the corner. She stalks towards them.

BUFFY: Let me have more! I've not fought like this in ages!

WILLOW: Sleep! Sleep!

Two more cops slump to the floor, revealing two more Kulmari phasing out of their bodies. One gets zapped by the golden energy. The other jumps over Willow and attempts to attack Buffy. Buffy kicks the crap out of him.

We're now down to the Officer we met before, the Police Chief, and Andrew.

WILLOW: One of you is the leader. Once we have dispatched him, your reign of terror will be at an end. Which of you is the leader?

Andrew points at the other two, but the Officer and the Police Chief point at Andrew only.

ANDREW: You guys suck.

WILLOW: YOU! Sleep!

The other two fall, Kulmari phase out. Dawn's golden energies take out one. Buffy starts beating on the other one.

ANDREW: That won't work on this vessel!

Andrew begins floating in the air laughing. He tries to make eye contact with Willow and possess her. It doesn't work.

WILLOW: (noticing this) Already occupied.

Giles and the others rush in from the front door. Xander's eyes are closed. He's holding Anya by the arm and following her blindly. Buffy finishes off the last one.

DAWN: (echoing voiceover) If we kill the leader, the portal to the Kulmari dimension will be closed forever.

BUFFY: We never kill our own kind.

GILES: Well that's a relief.

WILLOW: But he helped kill us. He helped to kill Tara!

ANYA: Andrew & Jonathan were in jail when Warren shot Tara. They had nothing to do with it!

WILLOW: Willow wants revenge!

ANYA: And you'll get it! I promise you! I know where Warren is!

WILLOW: (angry is an understatement) He yet lives!?

ANYA: I found him and put him in a hell dimension. He's being tortured even as we speak!

JONATHAN: (to himself) cool!

ANYA: Andrew's done nothing to you.

DAWN: (echoing voiceover) We must kill the leader to close the portal!

GILES: (pushes John forward) If you get within ten feet of him the Kulmari will be forced out!

JONATHAN: (stops and turns around) If I get too close to Willow I might push Tara out!

SPIKE: And we have no idea what he'd do to Buffy or Dawn!

GILES: We have to risk it!

DAWN: (echoing voiceover) We must kill the leader!

BUFFY: Dawn, no!

A bolt of golden energy shoots out at Andrew. Andrew puts his hands up and the Kulmari shoots out of him. The golden bolt meets the Kulmari and slime flies all over the place. The Kulmari is dead.

Giles pushes Jonathan forward. He runs up to stand between Willow & Buffy. Buffy starts blinking and then she starts throwing up. The golden energies swirling around Willow begin to solidify into a humanoid figure. Willow falls to her knees and with great effort manages to put the necklace back around her neck. She faints.

Dawn materializes from the golden energy. Still glowing, she turns on Andrew and grabs him by the neck.

DAWN: We must kill the leader!

Dawn raises a fist and pulls back slowly to strike but she's already losing strength. Jonathan walks up to her and takes her by the shoulders. Dawn stops glowing. Andrew is still breathing but his eyes are closed. He's like a ragdoll in her hands. Dawn manages to punch him but all it does is wake him up. Johnathan catches her before she falls unconscious.

ANDREW: Wow. What a ride.

Jonathan lays Dawn down to the floor carefully. She's unconscious. He turns to Andrew.

ANDREW: Hey buddy. I knew you'd help me.

JONATHAN: Yeah. What are friends for?

Jonathan punches Andrew.

ANDREW: Ow!

ANYA: Was that really necessary?

JONATHAN: No. But I feel better.

XANDER: (opens his eyes) Is it over? What'd I miss?

ANYA: Dawn may be right. Andrew knows how to unleash the Kulmari. The world continues to be at risk so long as he can still do that.

GILES: (helping Buffy) The world's always at risk.

They start picking up the pieces. Xander and Anya go to help Willow. Spike picks up Dawn. Giles helps Buffy. They exit out the front door.

Jonathan stands near Andrew.

JONATHAN: Now I mean it. We stay here. We wait till the cops wake up. We do our time.

ANDREW: For what crimes? While that guy was in my body, I managed to convince him to delete any record of any wrongdoing. We're free men! You, me and Warren! Well, not Warren. The police didn't really have any evidence against us anyway. Just accusations. Nothing substantial.

JONATHAN: Great. Well that's just great.

Jonathan starts to walk away.

ANDREW: Where you going?

JONATHAN: Away from you!

Camera cuts to outside the police station. Xander is carrying Willow. Spike is carrying Dawn. Giles is helping Buffy walk by letting her lean on him. Anya follows behind.

Jonathan runs out of the station after them.

JONATHAN: Hey guys! Where you going?

ANYA: (turns to look at him) Away from you.

She turns back and they walk away. The others ignore him. They all walk off camera. Camera ends on Jonathan standing there completely alone.

QUICK BLACK. END CREDITS.