Death Noot.
Pinga, a penguin from the Antartigami realm was sitting in her igloo with her other Antartigami friends gambling and relaxing (read: playing Go Fish for actual fish and getting real fucking high). She barely noticed her brother Pingu making his way out of the igloo, his Death Noot in hand, a devious expression on his face, tho you couldnt really tell, coz he's a penguin.
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In the hooman realm Light Yaga~whateveh was in one of his boring ass classes and everyone spoke english, even tho they're in japan and japanese coz fuck you thats why. So Lights chillin in the class, takin in that sweet knowledge when something outside caught his eye. It was like a book of some sorts and was laying on top of a bunch of weed and corpses. Light applauded the subtlty of it all, as clearly no one else but him, with his massive intellect could see this.
Light looked back at the teacher preachin that sweet knowledge in English, in a japanese school and decided, fuck it, it's not like Geography actually mattered. Light straight up walked out of the class. The teacher paid him no mind even though he very noisely shoved desks, students and even the principal out of the way to get out of the classroom.
He strutted confidently outside to the pile of dead bodies and weed and grabbed the book. He looked at the cover at first he thought it said 'Death Note' like that animu thing all the weebs at his school jacked off to. He was about to throw it in the trash where it belonged but then he noticed it did not say 'Death Note' but instead said 'Death Noot'. Intrigued Light decided that school wasnt important anymore and decided to reward himself by taking the day off to learn more about the mysterious Death Noot.
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Light got home and went into his bedroom, pushing his twenty Hello Kitty plushies out of the way in order to access his super awesome bean bag.
He rko'd himself onto it and took out the Death Noot. He read the note at the start.
Do dis for da lolz
write a name in the book and that person will start to noot so much that they'll die. if you dont do it in twenty seconds I will judge ya.
like mah status
-Ya boi Pingu
Not wanting anyone to judge him Light thought quickly and wrote ...
Ending 1
'My moms hopes and dreams' suddenly the book wrote back 'You already killed those'
fin.
Ending 2
'Dat bitch Kuro'. There was a faint nooting sound then suddenly Lights television magically turned itself on (kinky) and the news reporter said. "Kuro Otoharumanthingymagig, status: He ded:' then the tv turned off again and Light sat there and thought 'shit' and then thought 'Well I better use this for only good and to take out criminals so I can make a world that I deem 'clean' and 'worthy' like some overly entitled god or judger lol xD'
A sound began playing louder and louder, it sounded like thomas the tankengine but completely composed of noots. Light gasped and screamed like a lil bitch as a massive ass penguin fucking magically appeared in his room.
"Who are you?" Light asked the Penguin who seductively draped itself across Lights bed. "Noot Noot'' [I am Pingu, from the Antartigami Realm, owner of the Death Noot, Head Cheerleader and Parttime model, duh] Light gasped " Why are you here?" He asked the penguin, the fucking giant ass penguin. "Noot Noot" [I'm bored and also kind of a sadist, I was hoping you would use the death noot for fucking shit up instead of this righteous judgement bullshit, what the fuck man]
A look of realisation crossed Lights face as he realised how much power the death noot had granted him. Reading Lights mind Pingu gave an approving smile (though once again you couldnt tell coz he's a fucking penguin) "Noot Noot" [My job here is done, go fuck shit up you sick fuck, I'm outie] and with a flurry of noots this time in tune to john cenas opening song pingu was gone.
Light grabbed his pen and began to write.
All over the world noot after noot could be heard.
nothing but noots
hear the noot
fear the noot
noot.
fin.