Title: Everybody Hates Sephiroth

Author: CrisisChild

Summary: Sequel to Everybody Loves Cloud. Two years after the Incident, Sephiroth and Cloud have become tentative friends. However, Sephiroth is now starting the transition of friends to more and everyone is intent on getting in his way. Sephiroth VS a lot of people in Shinra.

Rated: T; for generally silly situations

Beta'd: Nope

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the FFVII Compilation except for silly ideas. Yeap.

Everybody Hates Sephiroth

PROLOGUE

He Finally Gets It

It had been approximately two years since the incredible Incident in the labs.

Rather, to be more precise, according to Sephiroth's count it had been two years, three months, twenty-one days, seven hours, thirty-two minutes and twenty-three seconds...since the Incident in which a lock of Cloud's hair contaminated a vat of Mako that had been originally meant for him and spread to the other SOLDIERs, causing them to go 'slightly more energetic' as the official reports had put it. During that rather specific span of time the General and the infantryman had gotten to know each other better. Well, Sephiroth mused, Cloud was no longer just a simple infantryman.

Yes, the young man had gotten his new bright red scarf recently. His promotion to captain had made his face glow in such a stunning manner Sephiroth had almost forgotten to mention Cloud's well-earned congratulations.

This was a bit worrying, because nothing stunned Sephiroth. Not even a little bit, he kept telling himself. But little by little, he began to notice these things more in the younger man whom he honestly started calling friend. The way Cloud beamed was mesmerizing, the candor with which he handled situations and his bravery and ingenuity in the face of everything thrown at him was breathtakingly refreshing. Looking back on his thought process on Cloud lately, Sephiroth honestly felt sick with himself for harbouring such saccharine ponderings. He wondered if anyone else ever felt like this about another person.

And this led him to seeking out Genesis. Surely someone who was as well-read as the other SOLDIER First had a thought or two concerning what Sephiroth was feeling.

Of course, he immediately regretted it once he relayed his thoughts and feelings to his friend and said friend had burst out in raucous laughter. Really, guffawing like some buffoon was going too far, in Sephiroth's opinion. The silver's apparent lack of social skills wasn't that funny and he'd glared at Genesis until he finally figured out the silver wasn't just joking around.

"I am usually not the one to take the moral high ground or anything, but isn't he several years your junior?" Genesis inquired, having finally sobered up (with only the occasional amused smile making itself known).

Sephiroth nodded in confirmation, not quite getting Gensis' point. "He is nine years younger than I am. Not such a large age gap, as I am told such differences is common in many relationships. And he is already well over the age of majority so our mixing company won't draw too many eyes."

"Gods, Sephiroth, that's still cradle robbing."

Brows furrowed deeply as Sephiroth tried to understand Genesis' meaning. What did robbing a cradle have to do with anything and why would someone steal from a baby's bed, either? What an odd thing to say. As he tried much too hard to contemplate the redhead's meaning, Genesis spotted that his idioms had been wasted and just cut to the chase.

"He's a good man, but he's still young and you are...well, no offense, but you're not exactly a spring chicobo yourself," Genesis attempted to explain, "and that may bring trouble to you and to him. I hear there are some grumblings concerning your friendship with him already."

Oh, was that an understatement. After the Incident the Second, in the beginnings of Sephiroth's and Cloud's gently budding relationship as friends, things had escalated on the side of the then infantryman. His bunk mates would prank him more often out of spite and he'd been informed (with time, coaxing and Zack spilling the proverbial beans at Masamune-point) of prior offenses to which Sephiroth exacted personal retaliation on Cloud's behalf. And that resulted in more covert and worse offenses, though they did not remain a secret for long with the Silver General sniffing around for abusive bullies.

Sephiroth simply did not understand that with being his friend came certain dangers. Becoming something more would only result in Cloud being ostracized and tormented worse than ever, as Genesis understood it. Cloud becoming a captain at all was nothing short of a miracle.

He wondered if Sephiroth even understood what it was he was feeling. A little thought on it had the redhead settling on the answer of 'probably not'. Friendship was already foreign in a normal setting. Sephiroth figuring out romantic attachments was probably twice as lost as a drunkard with Confused and Blind thrown on him. Poor sod, Genesis mentally mused, though whom he meant was anyone's guess.

Cloud was a good man, though. Brighter than most of the members of SOLDIER, with a wit that belied his soft features. And he clearly remembered his right hook – he could feel his nose throb in phantom pain from the memory of the younger man socking him one right in his precious face. (Never was there a more potent cure that could ever be conceived for the strange reaction he had to tainted mako treatments two years prior.) The kid had a lot of promise and Genesis felt like for said promise to have a fighting chance at becoming something great, it seems as if he might have to give Sephiroth something of a nudge.

Plus, it was fun to meddle in the affairs of the oh-so-perfect Sephiroth. A day could not even be remotely complete without Genesis messing with Sephiroth at least a little.

"Take him out."

"I want to understand him, not order the Turks to murder him."

Gods, but he was a dimwitted one when he wanted to be. Genesis counted to ten, then rephrased himself, "Sephiroth, if you want to discover what it is you're feeling, the best thing to do is to spend a whole day with him. Winter Solstice is soon and, as I recalled, Kalm has a very charming festival that runs during it. You should attend it with him."

Sephiroth frowned at this. "I don't see the point of something as frivolous as a festival honouring the colder months..." A pause. "...but if you think it may help..."

Genesis grinned, sketching out a theatrical bow. "On my word. It will be a day to remember."

==Everybody Hates Sephiroth==

Cloud looked up from his new captain's manual when he heard his PHS ring. Judging from the ring tone it could be none other than Sephiroth sending him a mail. A rare occasion; he preferred handwritten memos and face-to-face conversations where he could feel and hear them for himself. Sometimes he held off conversations until he was right in front of the person he wished to speak with, even if it was just something as simple as an insult (ah, that one time he told Heidegger to his face that he was an asshole was a day to be remembered).

Picking up the phone, he flipped it open and checked out the mail, eyebrow rising as he read the message within:

[MESSAGE: SEPHIROTH 9:36 PM] CLOUD. WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME?