Lifeless
(Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all)
His hands caressing every curve, his musky breath making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. His brilliant blue eyes, mesmerizing me. Tear drops clinging to every eyelash, but he didn't notice, he never notices, and yet the love coursing through my veins so powerful, I would do whatever it is he pleases. I am weak, tainted, dirty, but in love. In love with a monster that rips at me everyday, and I stay in silence the alcohol blurring his vision, as every movement makes me cry out in agony. The malice so evident in his eyes makes me shudder, his nails digging into my thighs. My protests meeting ears that will listen to no one, to nothing that I say.
"Please." I would plead, but it meant more to me than him. Please stop hurting me, please love me the way I love you,please treat me with the tenderness I want, but he looks at me, with daring eyes, wanting me to run, to make it that much painful.
He would collapse beside me his snores issuing throughout the house, his face peaceful, smiling as he turned to face me throwing his arms over my naked form in a protective manner. I would snuggle closer, cry in his chest and fall asleep, but tonight I had different plans, pushing his arm off me, I left the room,dressed in a shirt and baggy jeans, my hair sticking to my forehead and sallow checks, the life it once had completely gone. My sunken eyes hiding my emerald green orbs, I was no longer pretty. When people looked at me there nose scrunched up in disgust, the mess I was in, unflattering, making it seem like I was trash, his trash. I was a perfect housewife, loving caring, optimist, but he changed. His surrogate father, was mysteriously killed, as his body was found in an abandoned warehouse where the Wayne enterprises use to store there old products. Richard took over, the heir of a kingdom, one he sold to lead a life of an alcoholic, a drug addict. I stood beside him, in his darkest hour, he needed me, and I needed him, but not like this, I wanted my Richard, the Richard I learned to love, the one that was so gentle so loving. The next morning would be the same, him begging for my forgiveness, asking me to keep him, telling me that he loved me, no one else, but me, him kissing me tenderly like he used to, my collarbone, my jaws, every piece of flesh, and then he would leave. Elated, happy as I would feel, he would comeback, only to hurt me again, the emotional and physical pained I suffered would make me numb, I was a porcelain doll.
I picked up my pace as the rain growing heavier, I knocked hard on a door, lights turned on, the once dark house brightened up by the sound of mumbling. I watched as the door swung open to reveal my friend Gar, his wife Rachel, who we call Raven, standing behind her eyes opened wide as she noticed who I was. I ran in hugging her form, pouring my heart out in the tears that leaked from the corners of my eyes. I couldn't feel anything, but her sisterly embrace, she was my haven, my solace. I felt Gar rubbing my back in soothing motions, as they dragged me into the guest room, asking me things I couldn't make out, I felt her tip something hot down my mouth, burning my throat, the taste of peppermint calming me down, until I was reduced to silent tears.
"What happened?" I could hear the wavering in her voice, she knew what was happening, she could see it deep in my eyes. I looked up to her, my Emerald orbs reflecting the turmoil of emotions. She hugged me, it was unlike her, but it is what I wanted, what I needed. These were my dark ages, I was the one needing comforting, needing someone to hold me tight, squeeze all my worries to oblivion. To pull me out of my abyss, the hole I've dug, and she was the one to do it. Everyday I would get up and go to her house. She never complained, she was an insomniac just like me, we both had our own problems, but we came together, sisters. She would stroked my back, soothe me with her voice, tell me things were going to be alright, tell me to not go back, that I could live with them, but I could see the sacrifice behind her eyes.
The stars today prominent against the veil of black, the stars dancing gracefully in the sky, the moon as their bonfire. My hair lashed out in the wind, twirling in spirals above me. I felt like I could fly up, my mood happier, I no longer felt the pain anymore when he came back, I could only feel the love that I knew was buried deep inside him. His kisses before he left everyday. My smile was wiped clean as I looked ahead, a dark figure emerging from the alleyway. Richard, bare chested, shoes slipped on, worn jeans. Everything about him so beautiful, so devastatingly handsome. I watched as the moon glinted against his pale skin. His lips opened to speak, but I heard no words, I could only see him. I watched as he came closer, my lips upturned into a peaceful smile, this made him walk faster, I looked up to him watched as he raised his hand, I didn't notice what he was doing until it almost happened, I watched as her brought down his arm, so quickly across my temple, my world turned black.
The drapes opened up to the bright sun, I tried to move, but instead something scratched my inner wrists. I tried to move my legs, but the same sensation was around my ankles. I tried to open my lips, to scream out, but something against them held them firmly shut. I looked around tilting my head from one side to the other, my eyes adjusted to the familiar room, my room. Richard was there standing with pleading eyes, his hands stroking up and down my thighs.
"Please don't scream." I understood he wanted to move the cloth from around my face. I nodded eagerly, and he obliged, his hands twitching, as he was fighting the urge to rip apart my bindings. I watched as his lips found mine, his sweet kiss, melting everything away, I tried to bring my arm around him, but I couldn't. He pulled away, his eyes begging for me to understand, I knew why he did it, for fear. Bruce left him, he didn't want me to leave, he wanted me forever, but will always be his forever, i said that in our vows, I whimpered as he got up, and he smiled.
"I wont leave you, I could never do that, I need you too much." I felt tears slip down my cheeks, my hoarse voice frightening me.
"Why?" he kissed my stomach, where our child was, another person who left him, our child died in my womb, a week before Bruce's death, our first loss.
"You'll get hurt at night." and he was right, criminals were all over jump city, no one was safe, everyday there was a breakout from jail, I nodded and he grinned. He was softer with me, treating me like I was precious, eventually pulling off my restraints, he never left, only for work, and would come back his eyes dancing with anticipation as he showed be the ring I wanted when we were teenagers. The ring I gazed at for ages, and when he wanted to buy it, we were to late. I kissed him, gave him what he desired from me, my life I swore in my blood, I would never destroy, never harm. He seemed content knowing I was safe, so sure that I wasn't going to run out on him, the bruise on my face healed with in the month, and Raven stopped calling me, she was persistent, but the way I sounded, just like I used to, reassured her.
He came back one night, my arms open wide as I watched him come in, but he didn't collapse in my embrace. The awful stench reeking from his breath was alcohol. He pulled me into my room, my body froze as her threw me on the bed, my head bashed against the head board, and I new what was coming, I shut my eyes in prayer, waiting for the pain, but when I reopened my eyes, it was done, he collapsed beside me, falling asleep, he threw his arms around me, just like he always did, my face buried deep in his chest, I held back the tears. I knew what I should do. I pushed myself out of bed, my eyes black, the tears sliding down my chin, traveling down my chest, I didn't wipe it away, just threw on his shirt an my jeans. I ran through the wind, the rain falling heavily, just like the first time. I felt the tears mixing with the rain, a sob escaped from my chest. I ran across the street not paying attention to my surroundings. I felt something smash against me, my body hitting of strong glass, I tumbled to the floor. The sound of two voices, I was in a busy street, screams, people talking loudly, I didn't understand what was going on, until the pain shut up and down my body, I wanted to cry out in pain, but I couldn't.
One voice carried out over the rest, his face swam in and out of concentration, tears pouring down his face, cradling me to his chest, at that moment I felt happy, he loved me. I watched as he pulled me closer to him, I could see my blood on his shirt, everything coming in and out of focus.
"Don't leave me, please, don't leave me." something burned me, my tears as I felt guilty, guilty that I took myself from him, that I didn't stay, I was truly weak.
"I... I'll... n... ev... er... leave...you...Robin." I smiled at him, I watched his face contort into shock then horror I called him something I never called him, the love he showed me, on my final hour, I was able to use the name I haven't used since he changed, he was my Robin.
"I...I...Love... you." I felt myself slip away my last memory, of his beautiful face.
My gosh, that was horrible, I know I could have written better, but I guess you can't blame me, I did this in a few hours! So tell me what you think. Just to clear up a few thing Robin is the nickname she gave him, American Robins are hard to see they don't usually nest near people, so to her he was her rarity, but when he changed, he became Richard, which is his real name, but the specialty is gone, and he blends in with others. Well if yo don't understand how he hurts her, you can PM me, but I think it's pretty straight forward.