Author's Note: One-shot. Takes place off-screen during The Blind Bandit, exploring Toph's sadly glossed over first attempt at flying.
"Watch where you're throwing that thing!" said Toph angrily as she picked up the belt and rubbed the pain on her throbbing forehead.
Sokka shrugged. "I said 'sorry'. You look alright to me..."
"Well, be more careful," she growled, quickly ignoring the pain once the initial suprise had passed. Feeling the lighter vibrations of one of the people on the... giant six-legged thing in front of her, she turned towards what was probably Aang. "Anyways, let's get going, twinkle-toes."
"Do you need any help getting-" said Katara, but Toph shot her what she hoped looked like an angry glare and grabbed onto the six-legged creature's side, which was apparently covered in fur, climbing onto its back in a single swift motion. She decided to sit on the far back, as far away from the group as possible for now, wanting to keeping her distance until she decided otherwise.
The fur on it was suprisingly soft and comfortable, which was another nice and interesting advantage to sitting where she was. It wasn't exactly the same thing as good, solid ground, but it'd have to do if this was the group's method of travel. There was a short pause.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go, already!"
After another short pause, she felt movement, and then heard a loud cry of "Yip, yip!" from Aang.
And at that point, the vibrations of the Earth suddenly ceased. There was the creature, there was Aang, there were Katara and Sokka and her, but at the same time nothing. No ground, no trees, no bugs, no Gaoling, no Earth Kingdom.
She tried to keep her calm. Displays of weakness were everything she refused to be. If she looked afraid, she'd show weakness, and she had no doubt that, if they could handle what she presumed was flying, there was no reason she couldn't just because she was blind.
There was a sudden lurching sensation, and as she wasn't holding onto anything, she rolled off almost entirely, trying and failing to hide her sudden panic. She grabbed onto the creature's fur, and she could tell she wasn't making contact with anything now. She kicked the air anyways, instinctively trying to find some way to get back up. Feeling vibrations, she knew all of them had turned towards her. Somebody was holding out their hand, and the flying creature had stopped moving altogether, instead simply floating there. She heard Katara's voice.
"Aang, maybe we should land..."
"I don't need your help!" she snapped, before Aang or Sokka could reply. "Keep going!"
"Are you su-"
"Yes! I just lost my balance, that's all."
Finding her way back up, she sat in the same position as before, and there was yet another infuriating pause.
"I said 'I'm fine', stop wasting time."
Nobody moved, but somebody spoke.
"You could sit up here," Katara offered gently, patting the creature's saddle.
"It's more comfortable anyways," continued Sokka, "and at least you could hold onto something."
She didn't budge. "For the last time, I don't need your help! I'm perfectly alright on my own! Stop your worrying, and start moving!"
Sokka mumbled, and Toph heard a slight sigh from what was probably Katara. Aang opened and closed his mouth, changing his mind about trying himself, and she felt a slight lurch as the creature moved again. The grip she had on the fur tightened , and she almost wondered for a second if she was hurting the creature by gripping it this hard. It lurched again, and then again a few seconds later, for reasons she didn't care to know, as she was too busy noticing she didn't need earthbending to feel how much her stomach was vibrating. She felt sick.
She "looked" towards the rest of the group at the front of the creature, and she felt her hands ache slightly from the strength of her grip and her fingers pushing into her palms, but she knew loosening her grip wouldn't be smart, so it seemed there wasn't many options. They seemed to be going straight now, from the lack of lurching. She thought for a few seconds, then released one hand and quickly placed it forward, gripping another section of fur. She repeated the process once, twice, with both hands, crawling forward with her legs.
"See?" said Katara, noticing Toph's movement. "It's not wrong to follow advice sometimes."
"I know I always feel better being closer to friends," added Aang. Sokka just leaned against the edge of the seat, staring but not saying anything.
"I'm not sitting near you," she said pointedly, her breathing quick but heavy. "I don't need your help."
"Then... why are you doing that?" asked Sokka. It was a good question, but Toph quickly came up with an answer.
"I'm just getting more comfortable," she answered, laying her head against the fur and closing her eyes.
"Well, alright, if you say so..." Katara replied.
"I just don't get her," Sokka muttered.
Toph was sitting in a small area of fur between the group on the saddle and a large flapping vibration-- a tail?-- at the back, so she only needed to move a little further forwards to join them.
"I'm not giving in," she reminded herself, banishing those thoughts. "I left Gaoling to get away from being helped and pampered. I'm fine by myself, as alone as I'm going to-"
Her thoughts were interrupted by another turn, causing her to instinctively grip the saddle, the nearest thing that wasn't fur (as that was getting quite uncomfortable to hold). The sudden turn made her feel queasy, and she swore she felt the contents of her stomach trying to rise up her throat, a feeling intensified by her sliding over slightly. She quickly pushed her legs back to the position she had been in and released the saddle.
"Look, Toph," said Katara, who she could tell was trying her best to be patient, "there's nothing wrong with sitting up here, with us. We know you're strong on your own, and you don't need our help, but you're not helping yourself by acting like that..."
Toph chose not to respond, preferring to grumble and roll over on her side.
There was an annoyed sigh from Katara. "You're not being very helpful, Sokka..."
"Hey, she's obviously not going to listen," he replied. "Let her have her... independence thing... She'll lighten up when she wants to."
"Maybe she's just tired?" asked Aang. "There's lots of animals that get mad when they're tired."
"I'm not an animal," Toph snarled.
"Sorry..."
"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, Toph," said Katara.
"Yeah, it's just a metaphor," said Sokka. "Or a simile. Whatever."
Toph ignored them and rolled over again. She was glad they hadn't had any reason to turn for a while, so she didn't have any reason to grab onto anything (which seemed to make the giant furry flying creature relax a little). It was pretty comfortable, except for the wind blowing the fur against her nose. She sneezed.
"Are you sure you're not getting sick or anything?"
"Would you quit it already? For the twelth time, I'm perfectly, wonderfully happy right where I am!"
"Would you two stop yelling at each other for five minutes?" yelled Sokka, raising his arms and leaning toward her, as if to emphasize that he was getting really sick of this. "Geez!"
Nobody replied. Toph thought of the group nearby her, but reminded herself again that she didn't want to give in and join them. But she felt the fur tickling her nose again, and brought a hand to her nose to muffle the sneeze. She thought of the group, and of the fur, weighing her options before slowly moving one hand towards the saddle. She gripped it and waited for a few seconds, worrying about another turn, then quickly grabbed the saddle with her other hand. She was kneeling now, so she stood up and felt her knees wobbling. She wasn't sure whether it was from the wind or the height or something else, but she quickly got back down.
They were all staring at her. Toph could almost feel it, and she hated it. She knew they were waiting for her to mess up, to slip, so they could catch her and help her up. That was exactly what she was trying to avoid, and to know that was exactly what she was causing just made her mad. She didn't want to stand up again, but she quickly put one foot over and then slid onto the saddle, immediately turning away from the group. It didn't help her ignore their presence, as she could still feel them, but at least it'd show them that she didn't come over to talk.
Katara opened her mouth to say something.
"Don't," advised Sokka. "Leave her alone for a while."
"It's good you decided to join us, Toph!" Aang chimed in. "Being alone isn't any fun."
Sokka hit himself in the forehead with his palm.
"I beg to differ," Toph said dryly. "It's not like I came over here to be a social sparrowkeet, you know. I'm just sick of all that fur. Besides, if there's none in my face, I don't sneeze, and then you'll all leave me alone for once."
They did, coming back into awkward silence.
"Finally," muttered Sokka to nobody, laying against the saddle, probably closing his eyes. Katara sighed, and moved to put a comforting hand on Toph's shoulder before changing her mind and pulling it back. Aang turned slightly and looked at Toph out of the corner of his eye, and then turned back, preferring to focus on the empty air in front of him.
In the silence, Toph could more clearly hear something she had noticed before: her breathing. It was quickly repeating, sudden, but simultaneously labored, like she was trying to force something out of her throat and breathe at the same time. She knew what it was and it was a feeling she rarely experienced. Stress and fear.
She knew the feelings. She had been stressed once when her identity as the Blind Bandit came far too close to being uncovered, and she must have felt fear once, but when? She couldn't think of many times she had felt afraid of something. Not in Earth Rumble, certainly; she was too confident and too skilled to be afraid of any of the amateurs in that. Being found was both stressful and frightening, but she had been found out when she rescued Aang. She then realized what it was, the thought of losing her one chance at escape from her unfairly sheltered life, the thought of losing every chance she had at happiness down to no longer being able to be in the fights themselves. That was next to cross her mind as a fear.
"Oh, quit it," she chastised herself silently. "Sure, you've been afraid of things, but worrying about it isn't going to help. Stop thinking about it and fix it."
She took a deep breath through her nose, collecting herself and trying to relax her worries, and then released it through her mouth in a prolonged sigh. She waited for the oncoming "Are you feeling alright?" response. It didn't come, and there was no sound but the rushing air and Sokka's quiet snoring. She heard Katara's breathing, but that didn't tell her anything. Had she given up and gone to sleep? Or just given up? It would be a relief if she had; her pity was not something Toph wanted. Instead, somebody else responded.
"Toph, have you ever flown before?" asked Aang. Toph didn't give him a dirty look, or snarl, or snap back. It was a seemingly innocent question.
"No," she answered bluntly.
"If you're afraid of it--" Aang continued.
"I'm NOT afraid," she grumbled. Aang was unphased, and continued calmly.
"If you're afraid of it, don't think about it, just think of things you like. I was afraid of losing one of my best friends from long ago, Monk Gyatso, but I always thought of good things instead, like the fun I had with him, and my friends, and the things we did."
"Whatever," she mumbled, more to herself than to anybody else. "I told you, I'm not afraid."
Aang didn't reply, and Toph rolled over onto her stomach and 'stared' into the emptiness, gripping the edge of the saddle. She laid there, absorbed in her thoughts, and closed her eyes. She smiled to herself, her thoughts on the freedom she just had and would feel, away from unnecessary pity and worry just because she was blind. Except for from Katara, but she seemed to have gotten the message.
And she had to admit, being around people wasn't so bad.