Just two mini-snickers bars. Just two, I swear, I'll only have two if I pluck up enough courage to talk to him today. That'll be my reward. I thought as I swept silently into the classroom. I took a seat in the back as always, right next to my friend Marissa. She greeted me and I tried to focus on the juicy gossip she was spilling that had transpired since lunch, but I just couldn't. My eyes kept flying to the door. I was waiting for him to enter. He had to right? He just had to because he'd already basically used up his absences for the year when he was sick for nearly three and a half weeks all last month. He couldn't miss one more day this semester unless he wanted to repeat sophomore year, which I bet he doesn't want to do. I'd stake my life on that wager.

Marissa didn't take my unenthusiastic self as abnormal because this is basically how I am always, lost for words. It's not so much that I don't have anything to say, it's just I don't want to sound stupid. So I think it's pretty safe territory if I just don't say anything at all and nod instead.

My friend finished whatever the hell she was saying in the first place and tossed her waves of dark behind her shoulder with a scoff. She was ending the conversation probably with an "As if," like she always did. Her trademark phrase. I pursed my lips, and nodded, but I couldn't keep my eyes on her for long they just kept darting back to the entrance of the classroom. I caught a boy eyeing Marissa appreciatively and I just rolled my eyes. I'd long gotten over vying to look like her. There was no point, no point in emulating anyone of my friend's beauty. I could never be as beautiful as they were, but I could perhaps be skinnier. That was a plus right? That's what boys like, slim and pretty girls. So was one out of two good enough?

My mind kept chanting snickers, snickers, snickers. My traitorous stomach kept rolling uncomfortably with hunger at those thoughts. My mouth watered and I was very nearly contemplating eating my pencil, because all I'd eaten today were a few carrot and broccoli sticks with a few dots of ranch dip on them. I was watching my weight a little as always, along with the rest of my entire table.

It was sick to think that I was seated at an enviable table. The table that other girls wanted to sit at and all we had to offer was a tiny vegetable tray for all to share. What was I saying? I barely made the cut to sit at the table. The only reason I was there in the first place was because of Gina, who had been my best friend since as far back as I can remember. She was the one the 'it' girls recruited, but she wouldn't come without me. I'm not bad looking if you count scraggly, wispy brown hair and ugly brown eyes slightly appealing.

I shake my head and sigh. I was never going to be good enough for him. Then just as if I'd summoned him from the heavens, my idol appeared. He stepped into the doorway without even bothering to look interested in this class. His lean frame walked with grace across the classroom as his muscular arms held onto the straps of his backpack. He sat down two seats in front of me with a giant huff. I couldn't help but find that adorable. No, not adorable, sexy. Nothing about him was adorable. He was pure, raw man. Every thing about him screamed masculinity. From his wide feet all the way to his cropped glossy hair. The very air about him seemed tainted with an outdoors sort of smell.

And for all these reasons I knew he couldn't be mine. I even saw Marissa give him a good once over. Half my friends were in love with him and the rest of the La Push gang. So that was saying something. I slumped back into my chair defeated about him and disappointed I wouldn't get my snickers. My stomach roared in protest. Too bad.

The teacher walked into the classroom late as usual. I opened my notebook to start taking notes. It wasn't fair that I had to be born the way I was. A bumbling, ok-looking idiot. It just wasn't fair. I bit my cheek hard so I'd stop thinking these stupid things and focus on the academic work at hand, but I couldn't.

I could only think of Jared, the rugged man I was dangerously infatuated with that was located only two seats away from me. That was the only secret I kept close to my heart because if anyone knew about my crush I harbored I'd be teased mercilessly. I tried to picture Jared and I together, but the more I did the more pathetic my dream seemed. Oh well, it's just a dream. If I couldn't even dream of him then I didn't see any point in existing.

8888888

Do you know those girl's who are in the popular group, but are just lackeys. The mindless, no-one-knows-there-faces girls that are always flanking the leader, yeah that's me. That is my position. I can proudly say that I am one of those girls who stand behind and pretend like their backing up whatever the lead girl is saying.

Hey, someone has to be that person, right? Well, I'm highly qualified for the job because that's who've I've been my whole life. The backup, the spare, you catch my drift? Not just in my social life, but my home life as well.

"Kim, please tell me that you ate the lunch I packed for you today." Irma, my older sister, asked me as we both hopped into the car at the end of school. I think back to the brown paper bag lunch that she sweetly made for me every morning because she knew the people I hung out with didn't eat much. I think back to how that brown bag had gone into the first trash can I saw when I got to school. I couldn't carry that around with me. I'd be mocked and then scorned because I'd brought other food other than what was supplied and recommended I eat.

"Of course." I told her clearing my throat before buckling myself up. I hated lying to her, but it was for the better, for both of us. She'd swallow my lie and then maybe I'd believe myself eventually.

"Good, I don't make you sandwiches all the time for fun." She breathed in annoyance and flicked her bangs away from her green eyes. I know, totally unfair. I got the shit genes. Everything I lacked, Irma had and everything I had, Irma lacked. It's not a fair trade off either. Irma got curves in her genes which must have skipped me, the height so she wasn't short and fat like I was, the green eyes which sparkled in a way brown eyes can't, the thick, ebony hair that I wished my brown would someday aspire to be, and the perfect round nails. Well, I bite mine, but I still wish mine looked like hers.

Irma drove us to our house slower than normal breaking her previous record. She must really be aggravated because when she was she made a habit to make sure her anger was in check, no road rage, but that didn't mean it wouldn't unleash itself once we were inside the house.

"Oh girls good, you're just in time. I was afraid we were going to be late for Jeff's soccer game! Honey! Their here, everyone pile into the car!" My mother met us at the door as Irma and I made our way into the house to take a much needed rest after school. Yet, we were shuffled out the door by my mom who was searching in her purse for something.

"Oh no. Absolutely not, I am not going! I've had enough. I am eighteen years old and I refuse to subject myself to one more game for him." Irma screeched balling her fists by her sides as she stood her ground. I knew the fury would be unleashed sometime. My mom looked up and blinked.

"Fine." Mom sighed and she looked tired for a moment. "I knew this day would come. In fact, I thought it would happen sooner. You can stay."

Irma looked towards her in shock trying to comprehend what just came out of my mother's mouth. Irma and I had been subjected to our little brother Jeff's soccer games for years. It was a tradition that the entire family would have to come to every single one of his games. So you must understand our disbelief when my mother told Irma she didn't have to come.

My father, a balding man, stepped out the front door followed closely by my twelve year old brother suited up in his red soccer jersey and cleats.

"Irma's not going." My mother told my father nonchalantly as if this wasn't a big deal at all!

"I don't want to go either!" I echoed Irma's sentiments. I'd had enough soccer to last me a lifetime and then some.

"No." My father told me firmly giving me a sweeping look and then, that was that. One never questioned my father's authority, ever. I wilted on the spot and Irma simply shrugged before skipping off to an empty house.

Soccer is a torturous game filled with a lot of running, kicking, and intervals where both teams basically contradict each other. They'd kick the ball back and forth back and forth never achieving anything at all. It was mind-numbingly boring and I could just feel my eye lids begin to close as I propped my head up on my hands as I sat between my two parents in the bleachers.

Jeff's team won like always. I didn't really catch what happened, but I suppose it's like all the other times. Jeff, the star player, made a few goals, had a few good blocks, and played an amazing game. If I'd paid any attention at all I might have been proud of my brother, but I didn't think he needed anymore attention. He already got too much. My parents doted on him hand and foot always. Right now was no exception. They bought him a huge bottle of Gatorade and went to chat with the other player's parents about him sleeping over at one of the other boy's house. It was a Tuesday, a school night. I'd never be allowed this leniency, Irma neither and she's almost a graduate.

I shuffled off to the side like I always did except this time I felt especially lonely. Normally, Irma was here with me to share my torture though most of the time she was chatting on the phone, but still. I missed her; I guess I just had to get use to this because she was going to be at college next year. No matter how much I despised my sister for being everything I wasn't, she was still my sister and she did care for me.

I leaned back against the brick wall of the outhouses. I looked over the corner I was leaned against to see my brother and one of his soccer buddies exiting the bathroom together. Jeff juggled a soccer ball by bouncing it against his knee and then catching it. The brown-haired boy looked on in amazement. I huddled against the side of the building so they wouldn't spot me, but it was unnecessary because they weren't going to look behind them anyway.

"So where was your sister tonight?" Jeff's friend asked him grinning stupidly in a way only little boys with fantasies could.

"She was sitting in the bleachers." Jeff grunted unenthusiastically. His attention was focused on the ball.

"Wha- Oh you mean the girl by your mom and dad is your sister too?" The brown-hair boy asked him uncertainly and I folded my arms over my chest as if they would protect me.

"Yeah."

"No, not her then. I'm talking about the hot one that always comes."

"Irma? Nah, she didn't want to come tonight and really she's way too old for you." Jeff told him in a tone that signaled this was a conversation he wanted to avoid.

"I can dream." Jeff's friend muttered as they walked farther away towards the field.

The lump that rose in my throat hindered my breathing tremendously. I pulled my hand over my mouth to muffle the sobs that were trying to force there way out. I couldn't believe myself. I was getting emotional over a twelve year old's comment, but I couldn't help it. It wasn't that it was mean necessarily; it's just that he ripped open all my insecurities with a few simple words. I was astonished at my reaction, but I'd known all along how Irma was the leader and I was just a follower. It was inevitable for me not to be.

I was Kim, born to be in the shadows for all of my life.

I got home that night and had two mini-snickers. I didn't care about that stupid deal with myself. I deserved them.

A/N: So, this is my take on Kim/Jared. I wish that I could make it a bit more interesting in this chapter… ah well. Tell me what you think… Continue?